by C. J. Archer
"Merdu's bollocks," muttered the priest named Vizah.
It was such an odd thing to hear from a priest's mouth that I laughed. Brother Vizah winced sheepishly. It made the scar bracketing the corner of his mouth lift so that it looked as though he smiled.
"My apologies, Miss Cully," he said. "I've never seen anything so beautiful or so grand."
"It's all right, Brother Vizah. I understand perfectly."
"Just Vizah."
"Call us all by our first names," Rhys told me. "We prefer it."
"And I am just Josie."
"It's not like the castle in Tilting," said the serious looking priest named Rufus as we passed through the gate.
"No wonder everyone thought magic created it," said Andreas, the only one without any scarring on his face. He had thick, wavy hair and was the most handsome of the priests, though not the most striking. That title belonged to the master with his intense blue eyes and commanding presence.
"How quickly was it built?" Rhys asked. When no one answered, he prompted a response. "Captain?"
"I don't know," Dane said. "I wasn't here."
Rhys glanced at the other guards then turned to Balthazar. "Will no one answer?"
"We can't," Balthazar said. "None of us were here. Except Josie."
The priests looked to me, but I was saved from answering by Dane dismounting. He assisted me down and directed the guards to take all the horses to the stables.
"The garrison is this way," he said to the priests.
Thankfully they asked no more questions. They couldn't be answered truthfully out here with the nobles wandering about. I scanned the faces, but Kitty wasn't amongst them.
They were all very curious about the priests strolling with us across the outer forecourt. Two noblemen even greeted Brother Rhys and he greeted them in return, giving them shallow bows and assuring them that the protestors had been dispersed.
Dane suggested his remaining guards take all of the priests except Rhys to the commons to enjoy a meal, but Rhys wanted Vizah, Rufus and Andreas with him. They seemed to be his most trusted men, all speaking their mind without worry of censure from their master.
Vizah gazed longingly at those who headed to the commons. He licked his lips as if he could taste the food he wouldn't get to enjoy with them, then, with a heaving sigh, dutifully walked with us to the garrison.
Erik and Quentin were both in the garrison with two other guards. They sat, booted feet on chairs or the table itself. All but Quentin looked to be asleep. My medical book was open on his lap.
He slammed it shut when we entered, waking the others, and jumped to his feet. "Finally! We've been waiting and waiting, wondering what this is all about. Vizah recognized Balthazar this morning," he told us. "But he left with Balthazar before I could ask questions. So where do you know Bal from?"
Rhys frowned. "From home, of course."
"And where's that?"
"Tilting," said Andreas.
Quentin gave him a blank look.
"In the temple," Andreas added as if Quentin were stupid. "Bal didn't tell you?"
"It's not as simple as that," Max said, pouring ales at the sideboard.
Vizah gathered four tankards in his big hands and passed them around. "He lives there with us. Or he did, until a year ago when he vanished overnight."
"Without a word," Rufus added with a stern glare for Balthazar.
"Your temple is for warrior priests," Dane said. "Are you saying Balthazar is one of you?"
"He didn't tell you?" Rhys asked, frowning.
Quentin, Erik and the two other guards burst out laughing. "Balthazar is a warrior?" Quentin said, still grinning.
Rhys looked to Balthazar, brows raised. "Tell him, Bal."
Balthazar sighed. "I think we need to start at the beginning. Hammer, there's no getting away with it. We have to tell them."
"Agreed." Dane indicated that everyone should sit.
"Tell us what?" Rhys asked as he sat.
While he directed his question at Dane, his cautious gaze flicked to Erik. The gazes of his men did too. Erik eyed each of them in return, taking in their battle scars and armor, and most likely comparing his physique to theirs. While he was taller than all of them, Rhys and Vizah were broader in the shoulders.
"Merdu," Andreas murmured. "You're a Marginer, aren't you?"
Erik crossed his arms. He frowned, and I could see that something troubled him about these men. "Aye. And you are a priest. You work only for Merdu."
"Our lives are dedicated to the god. We defend his realm and our faith."
"I've never seen a Marginer before," Vizah said. He looked impressed, but not at all afraid of Erik, as most were.
Erik didn't seem to hear him. He simply stared back, his forehead tattoos almost disappearing into the creases of his frown.
"So," Rhys said, setting down his tankard. "Bal, will you tell us what's going on? Why are you here? Why did you leave the temple without telling anyone?"
Balthazar accepted a tankard from Max. "I can't answer your last question. I wish I could, but I don't remember why I left."
Rhys sat forward. "You've lost your memory?"
"We all have."
The priests went very still. "I don't understand," Rhys said. "How can you all lose your memories? That's absurd."
"Not all of us," Quentin piped up. "Only the servants. Josie's from the village. She has her memories."
"It's true," I said. "What you're about to hear will sound absurd. I thought them all mad, at first. Then I saw the sadness and confusion in their eyes and heard it in their voices. Look and listen to what they have to say and you'll believe them too."
Balthazar told them everything he could, beginning with the first day of waking up in the palace, knowing his name, his role, and the names and positions of all the servants. He finished with an account of the king's death and his admission that he used magic to become king, but he left out any mention of the gemstone.
"Merdu's blood," Andreas murmured. "What a prick."
"How did he perform the magic?" Rhys asked. Of the four of them, he seemed to suspect something had been omitted from the story.
"We don't know," Balthazar lied. "He died before giving us more information."
"He never explained why he chose us," Dane said, "We don't know where we came from, what our lives were like before coming here. We don't even remember our families."
"Josie told me I am from the Margin," Erik said, tapping his forehead tattoos.
"And now I know where I come from too." Balthazar looked down at his hands. "I wouldn't have guessed I was a warrior in my younger days. I bear no scars."
Rhys shifted his weight in the chair. "You are a priest, but you were never a warrior."
"Merdu's Guards are a soldiering order."
"I thought you lost your memory," Rhys shot back.
"I can read." Balthazar waved his hand to encompass the four walls. "The library here is extensive. In those early weeks, we spent a lot of time reading. I read all about the god and goddess, the temples, priests and priestesses."
"Reading is what you liked to do most," Rufus said with a knowing nod.
Vizah smirked. "And order people about."
Quentin snorted. "He still does."
I smiled and tried to catch Dane's gaze, but I suspected he was avoiding me. The comments about Balthazar reminded me of something I'd said to Dane, that much of our character was ingrained deep within us and didn't change. The servants might have lost their memories, but their basic nature would remain. A good man would always be good, and a man who liked to kill would always want to harm others. Dane hadn't been convinced of my theory. It was another reason he didn't want to start a relationship with me without knowing his past. He worried that he was not a good man.
"How could I be a priest but not a warrior and still live in your temple?" Balthazar went on. "Isn't it specifically for you order?"
"It's true," Rhys said. "We are a specialized order, create
d for a single purpose. Our day is dedicated to training and becoming as disciplined as possible. Without discipline, a soldier gets distracted. A distracted soldier is a dead one in battle." He spoke as if he were reading the words.
Andreas rolled his eyes. "We do have time off in the evenings after prayers. It's not all sword play and exercise drills."
"What do you do in the evening?" Quentin asked.
"Drink," said Vizah. "Play cards."
"But not for winnings," Rhys cut in. "We have no possessions, no money."
"What else?" Erik asked.
"Not much," Rufus said. "We read or talk."
Erik screwed up his nose. "So it is true?"
"What?" asked Rufus.
"That you cannot be with a woman."
Max groaned. Theodore covered his mouth with his hand, but I suspected he was trying not to laugh. Quentin flushed to the roots of his hair.
"Quiet, Erik," Dane barked.
"No, it's all right," Vizah said without blinking. I got the distinct feeling he was staring straight ahead so as not to glance unwittingly at someone. "It's true. We're a celibate order."
"Discipline," Rufus said, somewhat blandly.
"No distractions," Andreas added.
Erik looked horrified.
Dane took the opportunity of his shocked silence to ask more questions. "Tell us what you know about Balthazar. If he wasn't a warrior, what did he do in your temple?"
"He was the Keeper of the Temple Archives," Rhys said. "Every temple has a scholar priest who dedicates himself to keeping the archives safe, and expanding them as history unfolds. He records important events as well as stores accounts of others from within the order."
"Events important to the temple or to Glancia?" Balthazar asked.
The question seemed to unnerve Rhys as he took a long moment to answer. Or perhaps it wasn't the question but the fact Balthazar needed to be told. It must be slowly sinking in that Balthazar truly lacked a memory.
"Both," Rhys said. "Indeed, anything that matters to The Fist Peninsula."
Balthazar and Theodore exchanged glances. "So I would have recorded the earthquake event that became known as The Rift?"
"I suppose. I haven't checked."
"Elliot would know," Andreas said. "He was your assistant, Bal. He took over your role when you disappeared."
"Tell us about his disappearance," Dane said. "Do you know why he left?"
The priests shook their heads. "He didn't tell us he was leaving," Rhys said. "He simply went to bed one night and the next day, he was gone. He didn't even tell Elliot, and you two were close, Bal. That was the oddest thing."
"No, the oddest thing was how he behaved that day," Rufus said. To Balthazar, he added, "You were distracted. Something worried you, but you wouldn't tell us what."
"Did you look for him?" Dane asked.
"We looked for him everywhere," Rhys said. "We sent messages to other temples in Glancia asking if they'd seen him. All we learned was that he left on horseback with provisions for several days, accompanied by one of the other priests of the order."
"Another priest?" Balthazar said. "Did he return?"
"He's still missing."
Balthazar and Theodore exchanged glances again.
"He was assigned to stable duty," Rhys went on. "Since two of the horses were missing, we assume he escorted you."
"Describe him," Dane said.
"Gray hair, about fifty years old, a mix of Glancian and Vytill blood. About Rufus's height. He has a limp from a broken leg that never healed properly. Like many of our veterans, he can no longer fight. They're given other roles in the temple. Amar worked in the stables."
"Amar," Balthazar murmured. "We have a gardener by that name. Theo?"
Theodore rose. "I'll fetch him."
"Meet us in the commons," Dane said. "It's time the other servants were informed."
"You remember none of this?" Andreas asked Balthazar as Theodore left.
Balthazar shook his head. "What did I do in the days leading up to my disappearance? Did I go anywhere? Did someone come to see me?"
Rhys looked to his men, but they all shrugged. "Elliot would know."
Silence weighed heavily as we all considered that information. Balthazar had not even told his assistant where he was going that night. The question was, why?
"Do you receive visitors at the temple?" I asked. "Can people call on you, or on Balthazar?"
"Of course," Rhys said. "We're not closed off from society. We welcome visitors."
"Women?" Erik asked.
"Only priestesses."
Erik saluted them with his cup and a wink.
"Do you know what King Leon looked like?" I asked. "The man who called himself King Leon, that is."
The priests shook their heads.
"If we show you pictures of him, perhaps you'd recognize him." I said it more to Dane and Balthazar than the priests.
They both understood my meaning. "Quentin, fetch one of the paintings of the king," Dane ordered.
"The one hanging above the fireplace in the Rose Salon," Balthazar added.
"He hated that painting," Quentin said.
"It's the closest likeness. Meet us in the commons."
Quentin left with one of the other guards as the painting was too large for one man.
The rest of us made our way to the commons, walking slowly for Balthazar's sake. The priests continued to look up at the palace as they had done on the way in. I wondered what they'd think if they saw the opulent furnishings and the manicured gardens.
"Who else knows about your memory loss?" Rhys asked.
"No one," Dane said. "Only Josie."
"None of the noblemen?"
"No." It was a lie but neither Balthazar nor I corrected him. It might not be wise to tell anyone that a Vytill spy knew their secret.
"This is all very…strange," Rhys said. "I'm overwhelmed by it, to be honest. I came here expecting to suppress unrest and I discover an old friend who can't explain why he left us." He gave Balthazar a grim smile. "I know the order can be trying for new recruits, but you were not a new recruit, and you never had to endure the same tests anyway."
Andreas put his arm around Balthazar's shoulder. He towered over the frail old man. "You'd been there longer than everyone. You've been a father figure to many of us."
Balthazar removed Andreas's arm. "I find that hard to believe."
"A grumpy father," Rufus pointed out.
"And controlling?" I asked.
Vizah snorted. "Definitely."
Balthazar narrowed his gaze at us. "You two are cut from the same cloth, I see."
Vizah grinned at me, a big smile within a tanned face.
"Are you part Zemayan?" I asked.
He shrugged. "Maybe. I don't know. I never met my parents. The order and the temple have been my life. I came to them at the age of thirteen, straight off the streets of Tilting's slums. Balthazar taught me my letters and numbers." He chuckled, a robust sound that came from the depths of his chest. "He'd curse me by the end of our sessions. I wasn't a good student. Lucky for me, a temple dedicated to defending the honor of the god values strength and fighting over cleverness."
"We don't value stupidity," Andreas said. Vizah punched him in the arm.
"Vizah is battle smart," Rhys told us. "He can read and write as well as any of us. Balthazar liked telling stories of how difficult a student Vizah was, but he wasn't one to let the truth get in the way of a good tale."
He smiled at Balthazar. Balthazar merely frowned back.
"And he likes everyone to think he had a difficult time of it teaching Vizah," Rufus added. "He wants us to think he has the patience of Hailia and the tenacity of Merdu. The truth is, he liked Vizah. They used to play games together."
"Then I grew up and wanted to become a fighter, not a scholar," Vizah said. "He hasn't let me forget that I owe him my education."
I linked my hands around Balthazar's elbow. "That sounds familiar."
/> Balthazar grunted. When I went to remove my hand, he crooked his elbow to keep it there.
We dropped behind the others. Dane and Rhys spoke quietly at the front, while Erik positioned himself with the remaining three priests just ahead of us.
"I do not understand," Erik said. "Vizah was rescued by the priests, so he owed your temple service. But you, Rufus, Andreas? Why do you serve a god who does not want you to use your cock for what it is made for?"
I pressed my lips together to suppress my smile.
Rufus cleared his throat. "I—er… We've used it."
"Before we entered the priesthood," Andreas stressed.
Rufus looked past Erik at Andreas and Vizah. Andreas shrugged and mouthed "What?"
Vizah's gaze drilled into his master's back.
Erik was lost in thought and didn't seem to notice the exchange. "I believe Balthazar was a priest," he finally said. "He is not handsome and is a small man. But you…" He grasped Rufus's shoulder. "You are all strong men with appealing faces. The women like you. Yes, Josie?"
"I suppose," I said.
Up ahead, Dane turned ever so slightly, but he could have simply been listening to Rhys.
"So it must be a lie," Erik said with a satisfied nod. "You tell the people you do not have women, but you do, in secret. Yes?"
"No," all three priests said.
Erik wagged a finger at them. "You meet with the priestesses of Hailia?"
"No!"
"Erik," I warned.
"We will talk later." Erik clapped Vizah on the back. "I will tell you all about women and you will never want to go back to your temple. There are maids here who will show you what to do with your cocks. I can give you one of mine."
"One of your what?" Andreas asked.
Erik looked at him as if he were stupid. "Maids."
Rufus's brows flew up his forehead and Andreas stumbled over his own feet.
"Oh, look," I said. "We've arrived at the commons. You must be starving."
"Thank the goddess," Vizah muttered. I wasn't sure if he was thanking her for the food we could smell or for the interruption.
I ate with the men in the vast dining hall. We had hardly begun when Quentin and his fellow guard returned carrying a painting of Leon framed in thick gold. The man depicted standing on the palace forecourt was taller than he had been in life and broader in the shoulders. The face was a good likeness, however.