Jeremy knows it, too. All the color has drained from his face, and his eyes fall to the floor, looking utterly defeated and terrified as the agent leads him away.
The three of us stand silently for a moment, watching him get hauled off. A weight lifts from my chest at the sight. I reach into my pocket, curling my fingers around the USB drive. We did it. We really fucking did it.
We turn and step into the office. Jax shuts the splintered door behind us as Jude takes my right hand and holds it up for inspection.
“Damn, woman. You have one hell of a right hook.” He strokes my middle finger gently. “Looks like you might have dislocated this one.”
“It feels like I broke all of them.”
Jude smiles, pride in his expression. “You hit him pretty fucking hard. You want me to set it?”
I retract my hand, holding it against my chest protectively and take a step back. “God, no. At least, not right now.”
He beckons to me. “Come back here, sweetheart. I just want to hold you.”
I don’t hesitate in marching forward and planting myself against Jude’s chest. His arms are around me again, but only for a moment before Jax says, “You two get your asses over here.”
Jude dips, his hands moving to behind my back and knees, and he picks me up effortlessly. He carries me to the couch stationed against the office wall and sits down beside his brother. My ass settles on Jude’s lap, my legs across Jax’s thighs. I wrap an arm around each of them, and they lean into me, holding me tight.
I finally let it all go. The anxiety and fear and weariness and amped up aggression. The joy and relief and the elation that we’re all safe and we’ve made it to the other side intact.
The guys don’t say a word as tears stream down my cheeks, but their hands run over me, stroking across my skin and through my hair with a tenderness that only makes me cry harder.
As we sit together in the quiet stillness of the room, a swirl of emotion pours out of me in little sobs.
They just hold me tighter, their faces nestled against mine.
9
Jax
They all mean well.
Trigg is behind the couch, slowly kneading her left shoulder, easing the sore muscles from where she plowed into the asshole taking aim to fire at us. Gunner’s sitting on a footstool, Emma’s legs propped over his thighs, and for once, he’s restraining where his hands are stroking. The big guy’s actually trying to be reserved, even though I know blowing shit up gives him a hard-on that lasts for days. Daniel is in his element doing his bartending thing again, and he’s learned how to make a killer Cosmo for her. She sips on the pink drink slowly as the guys massage her.
But Jude and I, we’re hanging back at the wet bar at the edge of the room, observing the scene silently. After a lengthy debriefing with the FBI suits, we headed home, and all of us naturally gravitated to my twin’s lair. It’s the night after a huge mission, and everyone has gathered in what amounts to the commander’s tent to celebrate the win and let off some steam. After two hours of rabble-rousing and loud, excited replays of the BHC takedown, things have gotten quieter, and I see the fatigue setting in on Emma’s features.
I lean into my brother, keeping my voice low for a more private speaking volume. “The guys are doing great to get her nerves calmed, but I think she’s beyond soothing right now, Jude.”
He just nods. There’s been this almost sullen look on his face ever since we all gathered here, but I know it’s not because of the events today. Even though BHC caught on to what Emma was doing, the outcome was as good as we could’ve hoped for — we’re all in one piece, we got Emma out unharmed, the files were transmitted successfully, and those fuckers are going down for good.
I narrow my eyes, studying him as he watches Emma. He’s intensely attracted to her, and not just in a physical sense. There’s something about her that whispers seductively to those parts of him he’s done a great job of hiding. And that scares the shit out of him. It’s like a positive charge pulling a negative charge closer and closer, and if the two collide, it won’t be soft and sweet. It’ll be an explosion. He’s been holding back, trying to resist the magnetism, because he’s afraid of what she’ll think if he shows that side of himself.
That’s what that sullen look is. Just like blowing shit up puts Gunner in a frisky mood, there’s a particular way Jude likes to ease the tension and unwind. But he rarely ever lets himself go there. And he hasn’t had someone in his life that he felt safe to do that with for a long, long time.
I know, because that attraction to her resonates deep inside me, too. She’s got this uncanny ability to unearth the things I’ve tried to bury, the things I’ve tried to protect her from. But she calls me on it, and there’s nowhere to hide, not from her.
Thing is, my brother is much more like me than he’d care to admit. We both have that same dark pull. That same resistance to doing things the way society expects. The same hunger for things we shouldn’t want. In the past, I’ve channeled that shadowy corner of my soul into a million distractions — drinking and drugs, running with a rough crew, and punching any asshole who challenged me. Jude channeled it into a mixture of strict discipline and finely tuned killer instincts — which he exercised on a consistent basis when he was active duty. But now, we’re both struggling a bit to make sense of the world without our vices. I don’t have my rowdy fraternity of hackers and bikers, and Jude doesn’t have his special ops team.
But we do have Emma.
I know we’ve both held back, but there’s something in her that resonates with those desires in us. She certainly enjoyed when I gave her a taste of it. And she seems hungry for more. The places I have taken her in the recesses of my mind… just fucking delicious. It’s causing me to swell thinking of her trussed up with rope, bound tight and on display, begging me to end the torment and fuck her.
I dig the heel of my palms into my eyes, trying to focus, trying to get the images out of my head. My adrenaline has never really come down from the raid. I’m still on edge. I have multiple ways I could be taking it off, but right now, I need to be here.
I nudge Jude in the ribs. “Hey. I know you’re thinking the same thing I am.”
He nods quietly for a moment, his eyes still trained intently on Emma. “She needs some sleep, but she’s too edgy.”
“Exactly. The drinks and massages are nice, but that’s not what she needs right now.”
My brother is silent, but I know he’s running through half a dozen different scenarios, trying to decide how they’d each play out. He’s always cautious and strategic, but I’m ready to just go for it. Throw caution to the wind. We can’t keep holding back forever. Even if I wanted to, I know she’d break me at some point. She’s determined to tear down all my walls. No better time than the present to just let go and give in.
“Fuck all the hesitation, Jude. Let’s just do it.”
He’s quiet again for a long moment before shaking his head and replying, “I don’t know. She might not be up for it.”
“Bullshit. She knows who we are — the good, the bad, the parts we try to hide. All of it. I think she’s just been waiting for us to accept that, to trust her with it. Because I think she’s been ready for a long time.”
Jude draws in a long breath, and I can tell he knows I’m right, even if it makes him a little uncomfortable. I get it. What I’m suggesting has my pulse racing — not just because I’m ready to do things to Emma that I’ve been fascinating about for months, but also because what I’m suggesting means stepping into a place of vulnerability, for all of us. But I’m done waiting. Tonight is the perfect time — Emma needs to release that tension, and we can show her how.
I lean toward Jude again. “It’s time, brother. Our turn. I know the guys don’t want to leave, but she’s never going to be the one to tell them to go.”
He pulls in a deep breath, his chin dipping to his chest as he takes her in one more time, and I see something in him give up the internal fight he’s been battling. Oh yeah
, this is happening.
Without saying a word, he pushes away from the wet bar and steps further into the room. I follow as he moves toward the couch, and he claps his hands together to get everyone’s attention. “Alright, boys, it’s been a long day, and we’ve all got sleep to catch up on, especially Emma. Time to move out.”
His tone brokers no argument. All three of the guys tense for a second, none of them wanting to leave, but their eyes move to her, and their postures soften once more.
Daniel’s the first to move. He leans over the back of the couch and kisses her softly on the forehead. “Of course, you must be exhausted.”
Emma’s smile is happy, but her eyes betray the tension she’s struggling with. “I’m definitely tired, but I don’t know if I could sleep right now.”
Trigg helps her shift forward so he can slide off the couch and stand. He turns back to her and gives her a sweet smile. “Jude’s right. I’m sure as soon as we’re gone, you’ll crash.”
“But I don’t want to be alone,” she says, her lips turning down.
“I’ll volunteer as tribute.” Gunner hasn’t moved from his spot on the footstool yet. He runs a hand up her thigh and waggles his eyebrows at her. “Just think of me as a big teddy bear. A very misbehaving, adult teddy bear.”
I nudge him in the back with my knee. “Not tonight,” I say, hoping he’ll pick up on my tone. Gunner’s the world’s best snuggler, and he definitely knows how to lighten the mood — just two of his many talents. But tonight, I’m going to be selfish. I know exactly what she needs right now, and this is my area.
Gunner groans, but he gently moves her legs off his and stands. After a big stretch, he leans down to kiss Emma goodnight then moves to the door with the rest of the guys.
When I don’t join them, their eyes turn to me. Before they can ask, I say, “I’ve got some business to take care of with Jude.”
Trigg and Daniel are both fighting off yawns and simply nod as they shuffle out the door, but Gunner gives me a sideways smile and nods in approval. Get it boys, he mouths with a wink before disappearing through the doorway.
My adrenaline is shooting through the roof, and my body is practically vibrating with anticipation as the door latch clicks into the place, and I hear the elevator doors opening in the foyer.
The three of us alone, Jude moves to Emma, extending a hand to help her up. “Hey, sweetheart, do you want me to take you down to your apartment, or would you rather stay here?”
Emma places her hand in his and allows him to pull her from the couch. She stands close to him — intimately close, her other hand moving to his chest. The movement makes my pulse race. Emma tilts her chin up to him, but instead of touching his lips, she says, “I don’t want to go to my place. And I really don’t think I can sleep. My brain won’t shut off. I’m tired, but I have all this nervous energy at the same time.”
Jude lets out a huff of agreement. “The mission got messy today. I used to go hit the gym after being in the field like that. Just literally work it out until I was broken down and had to sleep.”
She shakes her head. “I’m too tired for that. I just—” she holds a hand to her head “—I don’t know what I need to do. I’ve never experienced anything like this before.”
“It was a wild ride today,” I agree.
Emma considers me for a moment. She moves her fist to her chest. “It’s like there’s this pent-up ball of emotion in here, and I don’t know how to let it out. Nothing’s coming out. It’s like my processor’s broken.”
God, she makes me smile. Using tech to talk out her emotions. I move closer to them both. “We know the feeling. Let us help you work it out,” I suggest. “We might have some ideas.”
She closes her eyes and gives her head a pert shake. “I think I’m all massaged out, guys. That’s just not doing the trick. I feel so… restless.”
“What I have in mind is something else entirely,” I tell her, meeting her eyes with a steady gaze.
Her eyes dart from me to Jude, and I know she’s still uncertain how this whole twin dynamic works. I’ve had some long nights thinking pretty damn hard about that, and I’m ready. It’s time to show, not tell.
I draw the back of my hand down her cheek. “Let me take you there. Where you can let it go. I know that place.”
Goddamn those eyes. She looks up at me, pure fucking vulnerability and faith, her words a whisper. “What place?”
I lean forward, placing my lips at her ear. “The place you’ve wanted me to show you,” I say, before pulling back to meet her gaze once again.
She doesn’t say anything, but her reaction is immediate. I see the shiver run through her and the flush spreading across the exposed skin of her chest above her shirt. Her mouth parts, and her eyes widen with the delight of temptation.
“Do you trust me?” I ask.
“Of course,” she tells me without hesitation. “I trust you completely.”
I cup her jaw, sweeping across her skin with my thumb as I study her. “And Jude? Do you trust Jude?”
Her eyes dart to him once more, and her response is confident. “Yes. Absolutely.”
I break eye contact with her to judge Jude’s reaction. That animal of his is coming to the surface. I can see it, barely contained. He’s practically bristling with need. Good. He’s much more private about his appetite, but it’s just as voracious as mine. His nostrils flare, and he gives a firm, brisk nod before moving back to the edge of the room, going for the credenza along the wall.
“What do you think, Emma? Are you ready for this?” I ask her.
Her chest expands as she pulls in a deep breath, her expression the most enthralling mixture of curiosity, excitement, and nervousness. She’s not sure exactly what she’s agreeing to, but she’s a smart lady, and she’s seen the shadowy parts we’ve tried to hide. She knows enough.
“Yes,” she says. “I’m ready.”
I pull her to me, breathing in the scent of her hair as Jude unlocks a drawer. He removes several pieces of cloth and flicks his wrist, a crisp sound cracking through the air as the fabric unfolds instantly.
He paces back toward us as I spin Emma around, pinning her ass against my rapidly swelling cock, my hands gripping her hips. She wiggles that beautiful ass against me, and I hold her tighter.
“The world is leaving men like me behind, Emma,” my brother tells her when he draws close.
“Men like you?” she asks.
Jude holds up a piece of fabric, visually measuring its length. “I can’t turn it off, Emma. I entered the military because I love the discipline. I thrive off it, sweetheart. They trained me to be a killer, to lead men into war. I’m not in the Marines anymore, but now I dominate the boardroom. I shut down opposition; I take control. I give orders, and my demands are met. Do you understand?”
Emma licks her lips, her hands dipping to mine, her ass pushing back against my erection. “I understand, Jude.”
“Do you?” he asks, raising an eyebrow at her as he tugs on the cloth and snaps it between his hands, testing its resilience. “It’s in my nature to lead — to dominate. And not just at work or in the field. It’s who I am.”
To the unfamiliar ear, his tone would sound hard and cold, but I know his words are the embodiment of barely restrained passion.
“Can you accept that?” he asks.
“I can. I do,” she whispers, her eyes moving between his hands and his face, her breathing quickening.
“Men like me, we’re expected to turn that off when we come home,” he continues. “But I don’t want to hide it from you. You’ve softened me in ways I’m grateful for, helped me open up. But sometimes I don’t want to be soft and tender with you, Emma,” my brother says with furled brow, his expression hard. “Sometimes, I want to be in total fucking control of you.”
I hear the sharp intake of her breath at his words and the excitement in the tremble that runs through her body. It makes my cock stiffen. I run a hand up her body and stroke her neck, feel
ing her pulse beat hard under my fingers.
My brother’s eyes flick to mine, and I pull Emma’s head back, my lips at her ear. “Will you give us that control?” I whisper. “Will you play with us?”
Emma twists her upper body and turns her face, her lips meeting mine, need and desire in her kiss. She moves a hand up to her throat and slides her fingers along mine, pressing against my hand. “Yes,” she breathes.
She reaches for Jude, grasping his shirt and pulling him close, sandwiching herself between us. “Kiss me, please,” she says, sliding an arm around his neck. He dips his head and brings his mouth to hers, devouring her hungrily. I nibble on her ear, my free hand roaming underneath the hem of her shirt, her skin hot under my touch.
Jude takes a step back, leaving Emma’s embrace. “Are you sure you want to do this?” he asks, his expression serious.
She nods, anticipation in her voice as she answers. “Yes.”
My brother takes her by her wrists, his hands gripping her firmly. “If you ever want us to stop, just say so, and we will, immediately. Otherwise, you’re ours tonight, however we wish. Understand?”
Emma nods again. “I understand,” she says, her voice clear and strong, filled with desire.
Jude’s lips snarl, and his shoulders heave as his own breathing pace picks up. “Good, because you were a bad girl today, and you’ve got some punishment coming.”
With her body pressed against mine, I can feel how her breathing shortens as he begins wrapping the cloth around her wrists. He’s winding her tight. She lets him fasten her wrists together, her focus on those intense eyes of his.
“You upset Jax and I. When you ran down that hall toward the security guard — I was very upset, sweetheart.” He finishes the binding, his eyes moving to her face, watching her. “We both were.”
God bless that man, he spins her to me. Her eyes are on her bound hands as she turns, but a second later, they trail up my chest and to my face.
I raise an eyebrow at her, my expression hard. “I told you we’d talk about this later, didn’t I?” I run a thumb down her jawline, loving that twinge of uncertain arousal flooding her cheeks. “You can’t go scaring me like that. You know I have my addictions, honey. And I crave you more than anything.”
Perfect Design: A Reverse Harem Romance (The Code Book 5) Page 7