by Kitty Neale
In that moment, an idea was born; one that would turn Mabel’s life around. She may not be able to help Amy, but surely there were others that she could. Mabel didn’t know how, but from now on, instead of relishing people’s pain, she wanted to be able to offer them help and comfort.
Time passed in a blur for Amy. Her parents and Rose came to the hospital when they could and at those times she clung to her mother, glad of her support.
Celia was there for long periods, and Jeremy came too, but as she was so desperately worried about Tommy, Amy found herself impervious to his presence.
She was aware at times of Jeremy’s eyes on her, the concern in his voice when he urged her to rest, which she brushed away. She would never forgive herself for what happened, but at the moment it seemed distant, buried in her concern for Tommy. He had to get better – he just had to. The thought of life without him was unbearable.
The doctor was with Tommy now and she was waiting outside the room with Celia while he was being examined. ‘I think he looked a little better,’ Celia said.
‘Do you think so?’ Amy asked, clinging to that seed of hope.
Amy felt light-headed with exhaustion, but rose to her feet as the doctor appeared, aware that Celia had done the same. The man’s face was grave and Amy swayed, fearing the worst.
‘Mrs Frost, your husband still isn’t responding to treatment. However, his condition hasn’t deteriorated so I hope to see some sign of improvement in the next forty-eight hours.’
‘Does … does that mean he’s going to get better?’
‘If he responds to the treatment the prognosis will be more positive. Now if you’ll excuse me …’
Amy was left bewildered as the doctor walked away. If Tommy responds to treatment, the doctor had said, not when. Did that mean there was a chance that he wouldn’t? Unable to bear the thought, Amy was unaware that Jeremy was walking towards them as her knees collapsed beneath her and she flopped back onto the chair, burying her face in her hands.
Jeremy saw it happen and picked up his pace, running the last few strides. ‘What’s wrong?’ he asked his mother. ‘Has there been bad news?’
‘There’s no news one way or the other. Thomas is neither better, nor worse. Amy is just tired, that’s all.’
‘Now look, Amy, this can’t go on,’ Jeremy gently admonished. ‘You’ve got to get some rest.’
‘You’re right. Take her home, Jeremy.’
‘No, no,’ Amy protested, ‘I’m not leaving Tommy.’
‘For goodness sake stop acting like a martyr,’ Celia said crossly.
‘I … I’m not,’ she said, her eyes filling with tears.
Amy looked so vulnerable and Jeremy found that he wanted to hold her, to comfort her, but knew it was impossible. She’d probably react violently if he so much as laid a hand on her, and after what he’d done, Jeremy couldn’t blame her.
‘Well I’ve been here all morning and I want to go home to freshen up,’ Celia said. ‘Jeremy, after you’ve been in to see Thomas, if Amy insists on staying, you can take me home instead.’
‘All right,’ he agreed, aware that Amy would never agree to get into the van with him. He hoped that Phyllis or Rose would be able to persuade her to get some sleep, because from what he’d seen, Amy was close to breaking point.
After seeing his brother, who barely knew he was there again, Jeremy drove his mother home, tensing when she asked, ‘What’s going on between you and Amy?’
‘What do you mean? Nothing’s going on.’
‘I’m not a fool, Jeremy. You can’t take your eyes off her, and seem more concerned about Amy than your brother.’
‘That isn’t true. I just think she needs to get some rest.’
With a snort of disbelief, she said, ‘There’s more to it than that, and it’s got to stop. All our plans will be ruined if Thomas gets wind of it and I can’t believe you’d risk that.’
‘I’m not, and you’ve got nothing to worry about,’ Jeremy insisted, thinking that Tom was in no fit state to get wind of anything at the moment.
An awful thought then crossed Jeremy’s mind. Tom was critically ill and what if he didn’t survive? He hadn’t signed any shares over to him yet, and if he died any chance of gaining control of the business would be lost.
Chapter Forty
Slowly Tommy recovered, and after being sent for convalescence he finally returned home. It was Saturday afternoon, the third week in May, and for the first time since he’d been admitted to hospital, he and Amy were truly alone.
‘Do you realise that we’ve been married for over a month?’ he asked.
‘Of course I do.’
‘And we still haven’t had our honeymoon.’
Amy flushed. ‘It doesn’t matter.’
‘Once I know that the business is running smoothly, I’ll rebook it.’
‘There’s no need. I didn’t go back to work and I’ve been a lady of leisure. I’ve met Carol a couple of times and she’s been worried about you too, but I think I might look for a part-time job now,’ Amy said.
‘You don’t need to work,’ Tommy said, ‘but I’m going back on Monday.’
‘Are you sure you’re not rushing it?’
‘I’m sure, Amy. I feel great,’ Tommy said and meant it. It felt good to be alive, especially as when he’d been in intensive care he’d felt so close to death.
When someone knocked on the door he said with a wry smile, ‘Well, we had half an hour to ourselves, so that’s something.’
Amy’s mother walked in, smiling widely. ‘Tommy, it’s wonderful to see you looking so well, though you could do with putting on a bit more weight.’
‘Don’t worry, Mum, I’ll feed him up,’ Amy said.
‘I’m sure you will, but I won’t stop. I just popped round to say welcome home, but now I’m sure you two would rather be alone.’
‘Thanks, I appreciate it,’ Tommy said and when she left he wrapped his arms around Amy. She stiffened again and he was puzzled. Since he’d arrived home she seemed tense, nervy, but before he could ask her what was wrong, someone else was at the door, his mother this time.
‘How are you, Thomas?’
‘I’m fine and glad to be home.’
‘Jeremy has been marvellous while you’ve been away. The business is running smoothly and he’s managed to acquire another contract, quite a large one too.’
‘That’s good. I’ll go over it with him on Monday and it’ll be great to get back into the driving seat.’
‘The accounts are very healthy, with profits well up on this period last year.’
‘Great, I’ll take a look at them too, but for now I just want to enjoy this weekend with Amy,’ Tommy said, hoping his mother would take the hint, and she did, but not before reiterating how wonderful Jeremy had been in his absence.
‘I’m sure you’ll see for yourself on Monday,’ she said, then at last leaving.
Tommy sighed, drew Amy into his arms and kissed her deeply as his hands roamed her body. She pulled away, the look in her eyes almost wild. The penny dropped then. They hadn’t yet consummated their marriage, so of course Amy was nervous. In all honesty he was a bit edgy too, worried about his own inexperience, yet was unable to quell his rising excitement. It was going to be hard to wait for tonight, but with the risk of being interrupted by someone else calling in to see how he was, Tommy knew he had no choice.
‘That was quick,’ Jeremy said when his mother returned to the house.
‘I’m afraid Thomas made me feel that I was intruding and I’ve no idea why.’
Jeremy could guess why his mother hadn’t been made welcome; Tom wanted to be alone with Amy. His guts churned. Since that night when he’d taken Amy’s virginity, he had felt that she was his, and the thought of Tom laying his hands on her made his jaws clench in anger.
‘I did manage to tell Thomas how well you’ve done in his absence. He said he’s returning to work on Monday, and I’m sure he’s going to be impressed.’
‘Are you listening to me?’
‘What? Yes,’ Jeremy said.
‘What did I just say then?’
‘Err, something about Tom being impressed.’
‘I also said that you’ll have to start pushing him for those shares now.’
‘Yes, yes, I will,’ Jeremy said, and though he was desperate to get his hands on them, they were the last thing on his mind at the moment.
‘I see that Tommy’s home,’ Mabel said as she returned from the shops to see Phyllis vigorously polishing her letterbox.
‘Yes, that’s right.’
‘Amy must be over the moon.’
‘Yes, she is,’ Phyllis said. ‘Have you heard anything yet?’
‘No, I’m still waiting, but hopefully it won’t be for much longer.’
‘And is Jack still all right about it?’
‘Yes, though it took him a while to come round to the idea,’ Mabel said, her mind going back to when she’d found the courage to knock on Phyllis’s door. The reception had been cold at first, but when Mabel had poured her heart out, saying that she wanted to turn her life around, Phyllis had finally thawed.
Mabel hadn’t known how, or what to do to make a difference, and as they’d discussed her options, the suggestion from Phyllis had been the last thing she’d expected to consider. Now though, Mabel knew that with so much love to give it was perfect.
‘I don’t usually do my front on a Saturday,’ Phyllis said, ‘but with working for Rose all week I get behind with my own chores.’
‘If Jack and I pass muster, I’ll have a lot less time on my hands too,’ Mabel said, smiling at the thought.
‘It won’t be so bad if you get one that’s old enough to go to school.’
‘I wouldn’t mind one way or the other,’ Mabel said wistfully.
‘Don’t worry, I can’t see them turning you down,’ Phyllis said, stretching her back as she completed her task.
‘I saw Daphne Cole the other day. She was on her way to visit her mother and though she was a bit off with me at first, she warmed a bit when I apologised for thinking that she’d gone off with George Frost.’
‘I didn’t think she had, but you wouldn’t listen to me,’ Phyllis said.
‘I know. I was a horrible gossip and I’m ashamed of myself.’
‘You’ve changed, Mabel. You’re not like that now, but no doubt Edna Price is still as bad.’
‘Yes, she is, but I avoid her as much as I can now.’
‘I doubt she likes that, but I’d best get on. I’ll see you later,’ Phyllis said as she gathered up her cleaning materials.
With a wave, Phyllis went indoors and Mabel did the same. She was finding it hard to wait for news, but felt reassured now that Phyllis didn’t think she and Jack would be turned down. Surely they would hear soon and then if they were accepted, she wondered if her first foster child would be a boy or a girl.
That night, Amy undressed for bed, and climbed in beside Tommy, shaking with nerves. She couldn’t get what happened with Jeremy out of her mind, the fear, the pain, and as Tommy reached out for her she went rigid.
‘It’s all right,’ he soothed. ‘I’m nervous too.’
‘You are?’
‘Of course,’ Tommy said. ‘This is going to be the first time for both of us.’
Amy knew that it wasn’t the first time for her and she was terrified that Tommy would somehow know. It increased her tension, and though Tommy continued to try to soothe her, she cried out in pain when he entered her.
‘I’m sorry, so sorry,’ Tommy said, yet there was no stopping him now.
Amy tried to respond but found she couldn’t, and lay unmoving beneath him, just wanting it to be over.
At last with an animal grunt, Tommy was spent and moved from her body. ‘I know that wasn’t good for you,’ he said softly, ‘but I expected that. It’ll get better, I promise.’
‘How do you know?’ Amy asked.
‘I … well, it’s something I’ve heard talked about,’ he said.
Amy tried to fight them, but tears of relief filled her eyes. Tommy hadn’t realised that it wasn’t her first time, but along with that came shame and guilt. She had betrayed him, but then found herself gathered into his arms.
‘Don’t cry, Amy. I love you and I’m sorry I hurt you, but it’ll be all right next time.’
Amy doubted it ever would, but after a while Tommy began to slowly explore her body and she found herself responding. He was right, it was better, and Amy found she was able to give herself willingly, welcoming Tommy as their bodies merged as one.
When it was over Amy snuggled into Tommy’s arms, feeling truly his wife now. She loved him so much, and knew that all she could do now to assuage her guilt was to make sure that she was a perfect wife.
As she closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep, Amy’s last thought was that so much had happened in such a short time since their marriage, but now, at last, the future looked brighter.
Chapter Forty-One
‘Come on, Peter, get a move on or you’ll be late for school,’ Mabel said.
‘I’ve got a belly ache.’
‘Don’t try that one again. It won’t wash this time,’ Mabel said, trying to sound stern.
‘I wanna stay here with you,’ Peter said, large brown eyes wide with appeal as he looked up at her.
‘I’m sorry, love, but you’ve got to go. Anyway, it won’t be for long. At the end of this week school breaks up for the summer holidays.’
‘Uncle Jack wouldn’t make me go.’
‘Oh yes he would,’ Mabel said.
‘Will he take me to the park again when he comes home from work?’
‘I expect so, but only if he knows you’ve been to school.’
Peter quickly shovelled the rest of his breakfast into his mouth and then said, ‘All right, I’m ready.’
Mabel smiled. Peter was seven years old and had been with them since mid-June, almost a month now, and though it had been a shock when they’d first seen him, he’d already wormed his way into their affections. She’d been warned that his placement would only be temporary and had tried not to get too fond of him, but he was such an adorable little lad that it was impossible. Once outside she took his hand and they set off on the short walk to the infant school. When they arrived she hugged Peter and said softly, ‘Now be a good boy and I’ll see you later.’
‘Bye, Auntie Mabel,’ he said, returning her hug and clinging on until she urged him into his classroom.
She then returned home, and knowing that Phyllis had a week off work, she knocked on her door. ‘Any chance of
a cuppa?’
‘Yes, come on in,’ Phyllis invited. ‘How’s Peter?’
‘He didn’t want to go to school again, and though he’s denied it, I think he’s being bullied. I’m going to have a word with his teacher when I pick him up.’
‘I hope he isn’t, but kids can be cruel and Peter’s a bit different,’ Phyllis said, before going through to the kitchen to make a pot of tea.
Peter was different all right, Mabel thought, obviously the result of a mixed-race relationship, with his tight, curly hair and coffee-coloured skin. She knew it made him vulnerable, had seen the looks adults gave him, let alone children, but that only made her more protective of him.
Peter was her first foster child, and already he’d changed her life, along with her once narrow-minded prejudice. He was just a little boy who hadn’t chosen the colour of his skin, and one who had already melted Mabel’s heart.
Amy stood sideways, pushed her baggy blouse close to her body as she looked in the mirror a
nd knew she couldn’t hide it for much longer. She was three months pregnant, but as the marriage hadn’t been consummated until four weeks after they married, she could only admit to two. If she told Tommy the truth – that she was carrying his brother’s baby, it would destroy him; their marriage too. That only left one choice, to pretend that the baby was Tommy’s, and though Amy had agonised over this decision for so long, she still wasn’t sure she could live with the deceit.
She’d been sick again that morning and felt drained as she went downstairs to the kitchen, just as her mother walked in through the back door. ‘Hello, love. I see you’ve got your boiler on so can I shove a few towels in with yours?’
‘Yes, of course you can,’ Amy said.
‘I don’t know why it’s always wash day on Mondays, but it’s been the same for as long as I can remember. Mabel called in so I got a bit behind. It’s amazing how much she’s changed. She’s like a different woman now, softer, kinder and she’s become a proper mother hen.’
Amy felt her stomach lurch and swallowed bile, but her mother must have noticed and asked, ‘Are you all right, Amy? You look a bit pale.’
‘I’ve been sick again this morning, but I’m all right now,’ she said and seeing her mother’s eyes widen Amy wished she could bite back the words.
‘Sick in the mornings! That could mean you’re pregnant. Oh, Amy, are you having a baby?’
She nodded and then found herself wrapped in her mother’s arms. ‘This is wonderful. Wait till I tell your dad.’
‘Mum, don’t do that. I haven’t told Tommy yet.’
‘Why ever not?’
‘I wanted to be sure.’
‘How many monthlies have you missed?’
‘Err … two,’ Amy stammered.
‘Well I think that makes it certain,’ she said then running her hands over Amy’s tummy. ‘I can feel a bump already. I’m going to be a grandmother!’ she cried, almost dancing with joy.
Amy sat down, fighting to hide her feelings. She wished she could share her mother’s happiness, but all she felt was despair.
Tommy was a happy man as he sat back in his office chair. Not only had Jeremy worked closely with Len to secure a new contract while he’d been away, there was now another one in the pipeline. Business was booming and he said, ‘Well, Jeremy, you’ve certainly proved yourself. The solicitor has just rung me to say the papers have been drawn up and all we need to do is to sign them, giving you your thirty-three per cent share in the company.’