by Kitty Neale
‘Of course I will.’
‘Good. Now then, the morning rush will be starting soon so I’d best get back to the kitchen.’
No sooner had Dolly disappeared than the first customers of the day walked into the café, taking a seat at one of Madge’s tables. ‘Well, here we go,’ she said, ‘time to tell them Dolly’s version of the truth.’
Pearl watched from under her lashes, saw the men’s quick glance in her direction, and then they began to speak earnestly to Madge. She shook her head emphatically, leaning forward as she spoke. Then, taking her pad, Madge took their order, pausing as she passed Pearl on her way to the kitchen.
‘I’ve put them straight but it didn’t go down well. Derek is well liked, and once the news spreads I reckon things are going to get tough for you. I wish you luck, girl, ’cos I think you’re gonna need it.’
Surprisingly, when Pearl saw Gertie, the woman smiled. ‘Dolly tells me that congratulations are in order.’
‘Yes, Pearl, I’ve passed on the good news to Gertie,’ Dolly said, ‘and will do the same when Mo comes in. Have you been round to her place to pack up your stuff?’
‘No, not yet.’
‘You can go tonight, but she’d better not be funny with you. You’ll be a part of this family soon and I’m not having her calling my future daughter-in-law a tart again. In fact, Kevin can go with you, and if Mo gives you any trouble she won’t have a job to come back to.’
Despite being upset by the lies Dolly had told, Pearl felt a surge of gratitude and relief. Dolly was now standing up for her and her dread of living in the same flat lessened. Maybe, just maybe, it would all be all right.
The next hour was trying, with most costermongers making their displeasure obvious. Derek Lewis was one of their own, but when Frank Hanwell came in, he gave her the first friendly greeting she had received that morning.
‘Well, I can’t say I wasn’t shocked by the news and, as you can imagine, Derek ain’t taking it too well.’
The fixed smile she had affected so far dropped, tears flooding her eyes. Frank touched her arm, his voice soft. ‘Despite the rumours, I reckon the blame lies with Kevin, not you. I never did think much of that young man. You could do with someone in your corner and it’s a shame that it’s my last morning on the market.’
‘Your last morning!’
‘Yes, love, I’m handing my pitch over to the new bloke and we’re moving to Shepherd’s Bush tomorrow. There’s a decent market there and I’ve managed to find a spot for my stall.’
Pearl lifted a hand to dash the tears away. ‘Good luck, Frank.’
‘Thanks, love. Now I don’t know how it happened, but suddenly your name is mud around here. They’re all gunning for you, but don’t worry, I’ll do my best to put them straight before I go.’
‘No, Frank! Please, don’t say anything.’
‘Why not?’
Pearl hung her head. She had to protect Kevin, but dreaded saying the words. ‘Because what you’ve been hearing is true. I am to blame.’
‘Are you sure about that?’
‘Yes, I’m sure. I … I’m just sorry that Derek’s been hurt.’
‘Yeah, me too. He’s a good bloke and thought the world of you. Well, love, despite how you’ve kicked Derek in the teeth, I wish you luck. Marrying into this family, I reckon you’ll need it.’
When Pearl went into the kitchen, she saw that Mo had arrived. The woman said nothing, her expression sour, but Dolly caught the look.
‘Now listen to me, Mo,’ she snapped. ‘I’ve told you the truth of the matter and I won’t stand for you being funny with Pearl. My son is a handsome young man and you can’t blame her for throwing herself at him. She is to be a member of my family, my daughter-in-law, and I insist that you show her some respect.’
‘Respect! You want me to show that tart respect?’
‘Be careful, Mo. You’re not irreplaceable, so either change your attitude or get out.’
Mo’s body straightened and, hands on hips, she glared at her employer. ‘I’ve stood a lot from you over the years, Dolly Dolby, but this is the last straw. On Saturday you agreed that Pearl was a tart, but now all of a sudden I’m supposed to believe that you’re thrilled to bits that she’s having Kevin’s baby. You say she agreed to marry Derek on the rebound, but I ain’t stupid. The dates don’t work out so think on that before you spread your lies.’
‘How dare you speak to me like that? Get out!’
‘Don’t worry, I’m going.’ And turning to glare at Pearl she spat out more venom. ‘Have you forgotten the night you went dancing with my daughter? Kevin was there and accused you of being a tart. He told my Emma that you were easy, but like fools we didn’t believe him. Well, miss, he was right, and if you want your things, you’ll find them outside by my dustbin. I don’t want the likes of you putting a foot over my doorstep again.’
‘Get out!’ Dolly screamed again, her voice bouncing off the walls.
Mo grabbed her coat, brushing past Gertie as she almost ran out of the back door. For a moment there was silence, but then Dolly exhaled loudly. ‘Now I’m stuck without a vegetable cook.’ She closed her eyes for a moment. ‘Right, Pearl, ask Madge to come in here. I might be able to persuade her to take over for the time being, but it’ll mean you’ll have to manage the tables on your own.’
‘Please, can I do the vegetables? I’d rather be out here than in the dining room.’
‘Are you having a hard time of it?’
Pearl nodded, her breath held as Dolly cocked her head to one side. ‘Do you know how to cook?’
‘No, not really, but you know I’m a fast learner.’
Dolly threw a glance at Gertie, speaking softly so the woman wouldn’t hear, ‘Yeah, you’re fast all right,’ she said sarcastically, ‘and you’re carrying Kevin’s child to prove it.’ She puffed loudly. ‘All right, you can work out here, but I’ll still need to talk to Madge. She might not take kindly to the extra tables. Go and get her.’
Madge agreed to do Pearl’s tables, but only if she was given a pound a week more. Tutting her impatience, Dolly showed Pearl how to prepare the vegetables for the lunchtime rush.
Pearl didn’t mind, she was just pleased to be away from the customers. As she picked up yet another potato to peel, she tried to forget the snide remark Dolly had made. Dolly had said she was to be a part of the family, her daughter-in-law, and had stood up for her against Mo. Everything had happened so quickly and it must have been a terrible shock for Dolly. Once she and Kevin were married things would settle down, and surely then it would be all right.
Pearl had more to face when she finished her shift. Kevin was out, Dolly telling her to go back to Bessie’s until he returned to take her to the registry office.
It was freezing as Pearl stepped outside. Hurriedly turning up the collar of her coat, she made to cross the street.
Connie Lewis suddenly loomed in front of her, blocking the path. ‘I want a word a word with you, my girl,’ she spat.
‘Please, Connie, let me pass.’
‘Not until I’ve had my say. You’ve ruined my Derek’s life – made a laughing stock of him – and I hope I live to see you pay.’
‘I … I didn’t mean to hurt him.’
‘Don’t give me that crap. You’d hardly been in the area for five minutes before you threw yourself at Derek. I had my suspicions from the start, but you took me in with your innocent act.’
‘Honestly, Connie, I really didn’t mean to hurt him.’
‘Then why did you sleep with Kevin Dolby?’
‘I … I …’ Pearl floundered.
‘Don’t bother looking for an excuse because there isn’t one. I’ve sussed you out and I know why. You’re nothing but a user! You took up with my Derek, but only to keep him on the side in case you couldn’t snare Kevin Dolby. If your little trap hadn’t worked, you’d have married Derek as the second-best meal ticket, and no doubt made his life a misery. Well, miss, you’ve got Kevin, so it seems y
our scheme worked but, knowing that young man, I reckon you’ll live to regret it.’
‘No … please, it wasn’t like that,’ Pearl protested, hardly recognising the woman who stood in front of her. Connie had been like a mother to her, a woman she had grown so fond of, but now all she saw in Connie’s eyes was hate.
‘Shut up, you bitch!’ Connie screamed.
‘Gran, come on, that’s enough,’ Derek called as he ran towards them.
‘Enough?’ Connie snapped. ‘I ain’t even started yet.’
‘Yeah, go on, Connie, give her what for,’ a costermonger called from the small crowd that had gathered.
Pearl looked around frantically, wanting only escape, but before she could move she felt the sting of Connie’s hand across her face. She heard a small cheer, saw Derek staying his gran’s hand as she lifted it again, and then, seeing a small gap, she ran through it, sobbing as she flew to Bessie’s with Connie’s words ringing in her ears.
Her steps faltered. It was true, she had used Derek, but not for the reason that Connie had spewed out. She looked back at her time in the orphanage and the way she’d always found someone to protect her. With deep shame Pearl realised she had done the same thing here. She had sought Derek out – sought his protection – and though not to keep him on the side, she had used him for her own ends. She ran into Bessie’s, ignoring the old woman’s shout as she fled to her room, throwing herself onto the bed as self-loathing swamped her.
Only fifteen minutes later, she heard Bessie calling, ‘Come down, girl. Kevin’s here to take you to the registry office.’
Lacklustre, Pearl rose from the bed, finding Kevin waiting impatiently when she walked into the shop.
‘Come on, we ain’t got much time before they close.’
‘Pearl, are you sure about this?’ Bessie asked.
‘What’s it to do with you?’ Kevin snapped.
‘Huh, take a look at her. Does she look like a girl who’s happily going to arrange her wedding?’
‘It’s all right, Bessie, I’m fine, honestly,’ Pearl said, managing a parody of a smile. She briefly touched the old woman’s arm to reassure her, and then followed Kevin outside to his car.
‘Look at that lot gawking,’ Kevin said as they drove off. ‘Anyway, why the long face?’
‘It’s nothing,’ Pearl said.
‘Well then, give us a smile.’
Pearl turned and as their eyes briefly met, she managed to force her lips into the semblance of one.
‘That’s better,’ he said, his eyes back on the road. ‘For a moment there you looked like a lamb going to slaughter.’
He concentrated on his driving then, speaking briefly about the arrangements, whilst Pearl hardly listened. She was an awful person, dreadful, hurting a man who had shown her only kindness. Oh, Derek – Derek, what have I done …?
‘Sorry, what did you say?’
‘For Christ’s sake, Pearl, what’s the matter with you?’
‘Nothing, it’s nothing.’
‘Well, if you want to change your mind, now’s the time to do it. We’re almost at the registry office.’
For a moment Pearl was tempted. She wanted to run, to hide. To never have to face Derek, or Connie, again.
‘Well, girl,’ Kevin asked as he pulled into the kerb, ‘what’s it to be?’
She turned to look at him, her thoughts still racing. She couldn’t do it, couldn’t run. She was carrying Kevin’s baby, he was the father and she needed him. Maybe there was a way out. When they were married, perhaps she could persuade Kevin to find a job out of the area. ‘I don’t want to change my mind.’
‘Right, come on then, let’s get this wedding booked.’
He smiled, and Pearl’s stomach fluttered. He was so handsome, and he was being so nice, but things changed when they walked into the registry office.
The wedding proved difficult to arrange, neither of them anticipating that with Pearl being underage, without a birth certificate, or parental permission, there’d be complications. Legal advice was suggested, and when they left the registry office Kevin was in a foul mood.
He flung open the car door. ‘Christ, that was a complete waste of time and I don’t see how a solicitor can help. He won’t be able to conjure up a flaming birth certificate out of thin air.’
Pearl hung her head, thinking it was no more than she deserved. Derek’s face returned to haunt her, the pain she had seen in his eyes. She had hurt him badly and still couldn’t get Connie Lewis’s words out of her mind.
They drove back to Battersea in silence, Kevin’s mood still dark, and as they turned into the yard at the back of the café, he finally spoke.
‘Come on, we’d better get this over with and tell my mother.’
They sat in the living room, Dolly saying after they explained what had happened, ‘They must know what they’re talking about if they suggested legal advice, but a solicitor’s going to cost a pretty penny. Have you got any savings, Pearl?’
She shook her head. ‘No, I’m afraid not.’
‘Bloody hell, I ain’t made of money, but I suppose I’ll have to pay. You’d better make an appointment tomorrow and let’s hope it doesn’t take long to sort out.’ She scowled. ‘More bloody expense. Take her home, Kevin. I’ve had enough for one day.‘
Pearl rose to her feet, her shoulders slumped as she left the room. They made their way downstairs and as Kevin unlocked the door a blast of cold air hit them.
‘You don’t need me to walk you home – there’s no point in both of us freezing – and I ain’t too pleased about all this either. I was hoping to tap my mother for a few bob, but I ain’t got a hope in hell now.’
She nodded, just wanting to get away from Kevin and his nasty mood. He was upset, and she couldn’t blame him, but as he closed the door behind her, she almost ran back to Bessie’s.
Bessie was sitting by the fire, one side of her face red from the heat.
‘Blimey, what’s up, love?’
There was concern and sympathy in the old woman’s eyes and seeing this, Pearl flopped onto a chair. She then spilled her misery out in a torrent – the run-in with Connie Lewis, followed by what had happened at the registry office.
Bessie said nothing, letting her cry until there were just juddering sobs. She then leaned forward, saying softly, ‘Come on now. A solicitor will soon sort things out.’
Pearl drew in another shuddering breath. ‘If he doesn’t, it’s no more than I deserve.’
‘Don’t be silly. You can’t beat yourself up over the things Connie Lewis said.
‘She’s right. I … I’m not a nice person.’
‘Rubbish. You were only a child in that orphanage and did what you had to in order to survive. It doesn’t make you a bad person.’
Pearl looked tiredly at Bessie. ‘But I still carried on when I left. I wanted protection and Derek seemed an ideal choice.’
‘Gawd, love, I wish you’d stop being so hard on yourself. When you left the orphanage you were still a youngster and had to strike out on your own. You came to a new area without any friends or family, and of course you were nervous. It’s a bit rough around here and it ain’t surprising that you felt the need for someone to look out for you.’
‘But that doesn’t make it right.’
‘I’m not saying it does, I’m just saying it’s understandable. Listen, girl, we all make mistakes, but hopefully we learn from them. You’ve had a hard lesson and you can let it sink you, or you can take it on board and grow.’
‘How can I do that when I’ve ruined Derek’s life?’
‘Look, you can’t change what’s happened. Derek will get over it in time, and, who knows, eventually he might meet someone else.’
‘Oh, I hope so, Bessie.’
‘He’s a nice bloke, and though not much to look at, I’m sure someone out there will appreciate his good nature. Now come on, buck yourself up. As I said, you’ve had a hard lesson, one to teach you that you can’t hide behind someone else.
You’ve got to stand on your own two feet.’
Pearl’s nod of agreement was half-hearted. It was impossible – she’d never have the courage. It was women she feared now, especially the likes of Connie Lewis, Mo Price and her future mother-in-law. Oh, if only she could get Dolly to like her, to establish a good relationship. Nobody messed with Dolly and it would be wonderful to have the woman batting on her side.
Derek Lewis stepped out of the dark doorway, the lamplight hitting his face as he threw a last glance up at Bessie’s window before moving away. He was being stupid, he knew that, but was unable to stop himself from shadowing Pearl. She hadn’t left Bessie’s house during the whole weekend, but still he’d watched.
When Pearl emerged that morning, he’d only had a brief glimpse of her before she ran into the café. Then when she finished her shift he’d been horrified to see his gran attacking her. He’d stepped in to break it up, but Pearl hadn’t even looked his way, and that had hurt. Christ, he was being a mug and he knew that, but he just couldn’t get Pearl out of his mind.
Everyone was now saying that Pearl was a tart, and she was pregnant to prove it, but he still had doubts. He wanted a word with Kevin, to hear his side of the story, but the bastard was keeping his head down. Derek threw a look towards the café, and his shoulders lifted. There he was now, and moving swiftly Derek covered the distance between them.
‘I want a word with you,’ he growled.
‘Look, Derek, none of this was my fault,’ Kevin said hastily.
‘Yeah, that’s what I’ve been told, but I’d like to hear it from you. If you’re so innocent, how come you’ve been avoiding me?’
‘I haven’t. I just didn’t want to rub salt in the wound, that’s all. Christ, mate, we go back years and I knew how cut up you’d be.’
‘Yeah, right, so how come you had it off with my girl?’
‘’Cos, like you, I was taken for a mug. Pearl told me that it was over between the two of you, and I believed her.’
‘You could have checked that with me first.’
‘Yeah, maybe, but at the time she was stripping off, and naked Pearl’s hard to resist. She threw herself at me like a cat on heat.’