by Kitty Neale
Flaming hell, Kevin thought, his dad had found some balls at last. That meant it wasn’t his mother he had to work on, it was his father; and that wasn’t going to be so easy. He’d need more time and now hoped his mother would ask him to stay again. Of course he’d put on an act, pretend that he couldn’t, before giving in.
When Dolly put their lunch on the table, Bernie sat down opposite Kevin, taken aback when he asked if they minded if he gave thanks for the food before they began to eat.
Bernie shrugged, but bent his head, and then afterwards he listened carefully as his son spoke of his plans. By the time the meal ended, Bernie had to admit that Kevin had mastered his act well. If he hadn’t known his son of old, he might have fallen for it, but he wasn’t as easily fooled as Dolly.
‘Kevin, surely staying for one night won’t hurt,’ Dolly appealed. ‘We’ve hardly seen you.’
‘I’m sorry, but Rupert is expecting me.’
‘With a name like that he sounds like a toff,’ Bernie commented.
‘I suppose he is,’ Kevin mused. ‘Rupert’s certainly well off, but though he’s offered me a rent-free room I’d prefer to pay my own way. To that end I must find work and the sooner I get started the better.’
‘You’re getting a job? That’ll be a first,’ Bernie said sarcastically.
‘I’ve changed, Dad.’
Bernie didn’t believe it for one moment, but before he could make a comment, Dolly said, ‘Please, Kevin, surely it won’t hurt to delay leaving for one night? You can travel to London in the morning.’
‘Well, Dad, I can see how much it would mean to Mum. What do you think?’
‘All right, but just one night,’ Bernie said grudgingly.
‘That’s settled then,’ Dolly said happily, ‘though I don’t like the thought of you living in one room when you go to Ealing.’
‘Don’t be daft, Dolly,’ Bernie said scathingly. ‘He’s been sleeping in a prison cell for thirteen years.’
‘Yes, you’re right, Dad. After that anything will seem like luxury.’
‘If you really are looking for work, what have you got in mind?’ Bernie asked.
Kevin shrugged. ‘With a prison record it won’t be easy, but I’ll try the building sites.’
‘Kevin, I don’t like the sound of this,’ Dolly protested. ‘First you say you’ll be living in one room and now that you’ll be labouring on a building site.’
‘There’s nothing wrong with good, honest labour, and as most of my earnings will go towards setting up a refuge I don’t want to waste money on renting a flat.’
‘But that could take you years.’
‘Everything starts with one small step,’ Kevin said piously. ‘I’m hoping the mission Rupert’s involved with will be interested enough to make a donation.’
Bernie had been expecting this and said derisively, ‘I suppose you’re hinting that we should chip in too?’
‘No, Dad, in making John your heir, you’ve done enough.’
‘So your mother told you about our wills?’
‘Yes, she did, and as I’ll be involved in charitable work I won’t be earning a great deal, or buying property to leave my son. Though of course I hope you live for many, many more years, it’s a huge weight off my mind knowing that you’ve taken care of John. I can’t thank you enough.’
Bernie was surprised. He’d expected Kevin to be upset about being usurped, but instead he was thanking them. Maybe he really had changed, maybe his religious conversion was genuine. If that proved to be the case, perhaps it wouldn’t hurt to help him out a bit – but not by way of a donation to this daft idea of a refuge. He’d give Kevin a few bob to tide him over until he found his feet, Bernie decided, but as he’d be leaving first thing in the morning, he’d have to get to the bank that afternoon before it closed.
He looked at his son again; still a little wary, he decided not to say where he was going. Instead Bernie found another excuse to go out. There was no need to give the money to Kevin yet, and it might be prudent to hang onto it until the morning. If this was all an act on Kevin’s part, there was no way he could keep it up indefinitely and by morning it was sure to slip.
Pearl was back in Battersea once more, this time for an appointment with the solicitor. It was four thirty by the time she left his office and returned to Bessie’s flat where Derek and Nora were waiting for her.
‘Well, what did he say?’ Derek asked as soon as she came in.
‘There isn’t any way around the conditions of the will,’ Pearl said despondently. ‘It’s watertight.’
‘So it’s live here, or nothing.’
‘Yes,’ Pearl said shortly, flopping wearily onto Bessie’s old sofa. It had been a long, fraught day and it hadn’t got any better. First they’d had to get the death certificate to arrange the funeral, which had been complicated as they weren’t Bessie’s blood relatives, but armed with her will they finally managed to get everything in place other than the flowers. At least the solicitor had said he’d sort out Bessie’s life insurance policy, and that it should cover the cost of the funeral.
‘So what are you going to do?’ Derek asked.
Pearl sighed. ‘I can’t live in Battersea. You know that.’
‘It isn’t a case of can’t. It’s more that you won’t.’
‘If we move back here, John is bound to hear the truth about his father, and you’re right, I won’t have that.’
‘Why not?’ Derek said curtly. ‘He isn’t a child any more, and by keeping it from him it sounds more like you’re protecting Kevin than him.’
‘Don’t be ridiculous.’
‘All right, have it your own way, but if we don’t move back here, we can’t take Nora on.’
Appalled, Pearl cried, ‘We’ll have to. I can’t break my promise to Bessie.’
‘Have you given any thought to how I feel about all this? What if I don’t want to take Nora on? What if I don’t want the financial responsibility?’ Derek said as he agitatedly ran his fingers through his hair.
Pearl leaned forward to place both hands across her face. Derek was right; she hadn’t given him a thought. With the loss of her wage, he would be the one to bear the sole brunt of the financial burden.
She felt the sofa dip beside her and as Derek’s arm wrapped around her shoulder, she leant against him. ‘You’re right. I’m sorry,’ she told him.
‘I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have got out of my pram, but you’re asking a lot of me, love. Surely you can see that it makes more sense to find Nora a place in some sort of institution?’
Pearl felt as though she was being torn in two, with Derek tugging her one way and her promise to Bessie pulling her the other. ‘Derek, I’m sorry, I just can’t think straight at the moment. Let’s go home and we’ll talk about this later.’
‘All right, but you might have a job to persuade Nora to leave with us again. She’s done nothing but cry since you left and I can’t get her to come out of her bedroom.’
‘She’s confused, upset, and it’s probably where she feels safe,’ Pearl said, heaving a sigh as she stood up. However, she was pleased when in the event it only took a little persuasion to coax Nora into the car.
‘Peace at last. Nora’s gone to sleep,’ Derek said when they were half an hour into the journey.
Pearl closed her eyes too. She had so much thinking to do, but at last, as they reached the outskirts of Winchester, she came to a tentative decision.
Chapter Eight
‘Other than thanking us for taking care of John in our will, you’ve hardly mentioned him,’ Dolly said as Kevin prepared to leave on Wednesday morning. ‘I know Pearl has sole custody, but she should let you see him.’
‘I want to achieve something first, to show John, and everyone else, that I’ve changed,’ Kevin replied.
‘John has only been told that you went to prison for robbery,’ Dolly pointed out. ‘Just recently he said he’d like to see you and I think he’s waited long enough, Kevin. It’s
about time he met his real father.’
Kevin knew his father was listening and that if he wanted money he still had to impress him. ‘Mum, I’ve hardly been a father to be proud of, and I wouldn’t blame Pearl if she refused.’
‘It won’t matter if she does. Your father goes to pick John up from Winchester once a month and he spends the day with us. When he’s here, if you just happen to turn up, Pearl needn’t know about it.’
‘It would be wrong to deceive her. If I’m to see my son, it must be with his mother’s permission.’
‘But …’
‘Dolly, you heard what Kevin said,’ Bernie interrupted. ‘I for one am pleased to hear that he wants to do things properly.’
‘That’s right, Dad. I don’t want to cause any upset, to Pearl or to John.’
‘Kevin, I want you to take this.’
He looked at the wad of notes his father held out, wanting nothing more than to grab them; but as he might need to come back for more, he kept up his act. ‘No, Dad. I’ve caused you and Mum enough heartache as it is and I certainly can’t take your money.’
‘That’s all in the past now and this is just a little something to help you out.’
‘There’s no need. I trust in God to provide for my needs.’
‘Kevin, please, it would ease my mind if you take it,’ Dolly cajoled.
‘You have no need to worry about me. I still have a little money and I’ll be fine.’
‘If you don’t find a job straight away, it’ll soon run out’ Bernie pointed out.
‘Then as I said, Dad, God will provide.’
Bernie stuffed the money into Kevin’s hand, saying firmly, ‘Right then, you can call this a small donation towards the opening of your refuge.’
Kevin used a practised gentle smile. ‘In that case, thank you. The money will be used for just that purpose, and God bless you. Now I must go, but I’ll keep in touch.’
‘Don’t leave it too long before we see you again,’ Dolly begged tearfully.
‘I’ll ring you as soon as I’m settled,’ Kevin said, forcing himself to kiss his mother’s cheek as he said his goodbyes. He wanted to get out of there, wanted to count the money. How much had his father given him? Would it fund what might be an expensive trip to Soho?
Bernie waited until Dolly was having an afternoon nap, and then rang Pearl in Winchester. ‘Pearl, it’s Bernie. Kevin’s been released. You have nothing to worry about though. Kevin insists that he won’t try to see John without your permission.’
‘And you believe him? You didn’t sound so sure the last time we spoke.’
‘I must admit I was sceptical, and I still am – but think about it, Pearl. If Kevin was just using his religious conversion as a ploy to get parole, he has no need to keep it up now that he’s been released.’
‘Where is he? Is he staying with you?’
‘No, he left this morning. He’ll be staying with a friend of his in Ealing, but once he’s on his feet again he may get in touch with you. If he does, what are you going to do? Will you allow him to see John?’
‘I don’t know. I don’t want to, but maybe if I know he won’t be alone with John …’ Pearl’s voice trailed off.
‘From the way Kevin spoke, it won’t be for a while yet.’
‘Bernie, I’ve got a bit of news too.’
‘Oh, yeah, what’s that?’
‘Bessie Penfold has passed away,’ she said, her voice catching.
‘I’m sorry to hear that, love. I know you were fond of her.’
‘Yes, I was, but that’s not all. She’s left me her shop and the flat.’
‘Has she? Now that was good of her.’
‘There are strings attached,’ Pearl told him, going on to explain about the provision in Bessie’s will.
‘If you ask me, it’s a bit much,’ Bernie said when she’d finished. ‘Nora isn’t your responsibility.’
‘Derek says the same.’
‘Yeah, well, he’s right. So what are you going to do?’
There was silence on the line for a moment, but then Pearl said, ‘I’m not sure yet, but if I do as Bessie asks, it’ll mean telling John the whole truth about Kevin.’
‘I don’t see why.’
‘There are sure to be people in Battersea who remember what Kevin did. I’d rather tell him myself before John hears it from them.’
Just then Bernie heard Dolly stirring and had to end the call. He wondered how John would react when he heard the truth about Kevin. Would he still want to meet his father? Somehow, Bernie doubted it.
After dinner that evening, Pearl went over things in her mind once again. It was early days yet, but at the moment Nora was clinging to her like a limpet. The strangeness of staying here, away from Battersea and all that Nora knew wasn’t helping, but Pearl knew if she didn’t agree to the terms of Bessie’s will, they would soon have to find somewhere else to live. That would not only exacerbate Nora’s fears, it would put a huge strain on their marriage, both mentally and financially.
Taking everything into consideration there seemed only one choice, and if they returned to Battersea at least Kevin would be on the other side of the Thames in Ealing. Oh, she was tired – tired of trying to make the right decision. There was so much to consider: her son, her mother and of course her husband. She couldn’t do it alone, it was too much, and turning to Derek she voiced one of her concerns. ‘I know you think we should move back to Battersea, but it would disrupt John’s education.’
‘He’s young and he’ll adapt,’ Derek reasoned. ‘There’s the financial side of things to consider too and as the shop and the premises are worth a good few bob it’s a lot to give up.’
‘What about your business?’
‘Pearl, I’d hardly call it that. I do a bit of painting and decorating, that’s all, and the new contract I was hoping to get has fallen through. With only the hope of small jobs coming in now, there’s nothing to keep us here.’
‘There’s my mother.’
‘Pearl, she won’t be that far away, and we’ll see her regularly, or we could ask her to come with us.’
‘Come where?’
Startled, Pearl turned to see her mother standing in the doorway. ‘To live with us in Battersea,’ she explained.
‘Oh, no. Surely you aren’t going to agree to Bessie’s terms?’
‘Mum, I don’t think we have any choice.’
‘Well, I’m sorry, but I won’t be coming with you, and what about John? He’d hate it in London. He loves the countryside – and what about his friends?’
‘Derek, my mother’s right,’ Pearl cried as she turned to him. ‘Oh, I just don’t know what to do.’
‘There are weekends, school holidays, and as you don’t want to come with us, Emily, perhaps John could spend them with you,’ Derek suggested. ‘That’s if you’d like that.’
‘Well, yes, of course I would, but …’
‘There you are, Pearl,’ Derek cut in. ‘Your mum would be pleased to have John and I’m sure he’d be happy with that too.’
‘Yes, maybe, I … I’ll go and talk to him,’ Pearl said, and aware that she would have to tell her son about his father too there was a dull ache growing in her temples.
Steps faltering, Pearl walked upstairs.
Chapter Nine
‘I still can’t believe that Bessie Penfold has left Pearl everything, and there’s my poor Kevin having to live in one room,’ Dolly complained. ‘It doesn’t seem fair.’
‘Leave it out,’ Bernie complained. ‘It’s all you’ve been going on about and it’s getting on me wick.’
Dolly’s hands clenched into fists. She wanted nothing more than to lay into Bernie, but somehow, with gritted teeth, she managed to control herself. Bernie still had no idea that she wasn’t taking her pills and she wasn’t about to give the game away. With an even tone, she said, ‘Unlike Pearl, our son is homeless and I’m just worried about him, that’s all.’
‘There’s no need. He’s got a room
and a good few bob in his pocket on top of that.’
‘How much did you give him?’
‘A hundred quid.’
‘That isn’t much towards the refuge.’
‘I only said that to get him to take it. If he runs out of money it’ll be enough to tide him over.’
‘I see. So when he comes to see us again we’ll give him a substantial donation.’
‘No, we won’t, Dolly.’
‘Yes, we will! It’s Kevin’s dream to open a refuge and I intend to help him.’
Bernie’s eyes narrowed. ‘Have you taken your pill?’
‘Yes, you saw me.’
‘In that case, I think I need to make an appointment for you to see the doctor.’
‘Whatever you say, Bernie,’ she said, climbing into bed. It was so hard to keep up the act, to pretend mildness, but she’d have to be more careful. If she could keep her temper under control, Bernie wouldn’t be so suspicious. Nonetheless, she wasn’t really worried about the doctor increasing her medication. After all, she wasn’t going to take it.
Dolly snuggled down in bed, aware of Bernie climbing into the twin one next to hers. He’d been in control for too long, in control of her pills and her purse. If he was daft enough to think he could stand in the way of her helping her son, then he had another think coming.
When the time was right she’d take over their finances again, and to do that the only one who’d be swallowing her pills would be Bernie.
While his parents slept, Kevin was in Soho. Thanks to one of the many cards displayed in a telephone box, he had found a tart, a tom, but she hadn’t been willing to indulge his fantasies. Instead, at the first sign of violence she had threatened him with her pimp and he’d been forced to do things her way. While his immediate needs had been met he’d been left dissatisfied and now drifted into one of the many clubs, finding it surprisingly busy, despite being midweek.
Though thirteen years had passed, Kevin found that nothing had changed, the bar prices astronomical, but there was a stripper gyrating on a small stage who held his attention for a while until her act came to an end.