by Kitty Neale
She liked Eddie, really liked him, but she didn’t want Clive getting too close to him until she was sure their relation ship was going to last. Eddie came round at least three times a week now, and invariably they ended up in bed. Their lovemaking was passionate and fulfilling, but was that all Eddie wanted her for? Had she been too willing? Did he see her as easy, a lonely widow ripe for the picking?
Lucy hated the thought, and resolved to find out. If Eddie only wanted her for sex, he’d soon break things off if she turned cold on him.
Adrianna had discovered that Kevin was no fool and she hadn’t been able to get her hands on the money from the sale of the car. He had hidden it somewhere, almost as if he expected her to nick it, and her search for it remained fruitless.
During the long days and nights spent alone with Kevin, there had been a change in their relationship. They had grown close, but something else was bothering her and she said, ‘Kevin, it’s been about five weeks since you put this place on the market and it seems funny that there hasn’t been a single viewing.’
‘The estate agent said it’s always quiet during the school summer holidays.’
‘He’s just making excuses. Tell him if he doesn’t get his finger out you’ll find another agent.’
Kevin pursed his lips. ‘I’ll give it another week and then if he doesn’t drum up some interest I’ll take it off his books.’
Adrianna sighed, sick of being stuck in the cottage for so long now with only the little games she played with Kevin to break the boredom. She’d enjoyed acting hard to get, secretly smiling at his every move to get her into bed, until at last, with nothing else in the way of distraction to pass the time, she had given in.
Adrianna had been determined that this time she’d be the one in control, and it had been fun to treat Kevin like her slave. It had been a laugh, but after a while she had become bored with that too. They now played other games, and at least their imaginative sex lives served to occasionally break the monotonous days and nights. With Kevin, she found sex enjoyable, even fun, and titillated by her thoughts, she said, ‘I’m bored.’
‘And I’m hungry,’ he said.
‘Is that for me?’ she asked huskily.
‘No, it’s for food,’ he said grinning as he stood and stretched his back. ‘What’s for dinner?’
‘I’ve told you before, I’m neither your cook nor your cleaner,’ Adrianna said indignantly, ‘but I suppose I could rustle up a ham salad.’
‘Not again. I’m fed up with rabbit food.’
‘Other than me, it’s the only thing on the menu.’
‘In that case,’ he said, pulling her up and into his arms, ‘I’ll take you.’
He was hot, pungent with sweat, and her nose wrinkled. ‘Not until you’ve had a bath.’
‘Will you wash my back?’
‘Now you want a cook, cleaner and a handmaiden.’
‘No, Adrianna, I just want you.’
Adrianna knew that Kevin had fallen for her, but hardened her heart. After being made to feel like a piece of Vince’s property, she was still determined that no man would ever hold that power over her mind and body again.
Once abroad, the rest of her life stretched ahead of her and Adrianna was already making plans. She didn’t fancy doing some sort of mundane work that paid peanuts, but felt confident about getting a job as an exotic dancer, and with her skills, a well-paid one. All the money she earned would be hers and she’d be frugal, save every penny, her ambition to eventually open her own club.
Adrianna smiled. She wouldn’t be performing then. She’d be the boss, in charge, and everyone would dance to her tune.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
John didn’t care about the misty rain falling in the Highlands as he and Tim walked the glen on the lookout for red deer. So far they had only been able to admire the wonderful photographs of them displayed in the hotel lobby, but suddenly, in the near distance, a stag appeared. They both froze, John awestruck by the creature’s proud stance and magnificent antlers.
‘How about that, young man?’ Tim said quietly. ‘The Monarch of the Glen.’
‘He’s magnificent. It’s been great to spot a pine marten, a wild cat, and all the other birds – the buzzards, the eagle – but this … well …’ John’s voice trailed off.
‘Do you want to take a shot?’
Still with his eyes riveted on the stag, John held out his hand for Tim’s camera, praying the deer wouldn’t move as he held the viewfinder to his eye and zoomed in. His granddad would have loved this, John thought, and for a moment his vision was blurred by tears. He blinked them away and focused again, just as the rain magically stopped. The strange sight of a single ray of sunshine bursting between dark clouds was enthralling as John took a shot, hoping he could do justice to this wild and wonderful animal.
‘Got him,’ he said to Tim as he handed back the camera. Tim had been showing him how to take photographs and he enjoyed it, though the rolls of film would have to be developed before he found out if they were any good.
‘As it would have been our last chance, I’m glad we caught sight of one today,’ Tim said. ‘I’ve arranged to do something different tomorrow.’
‘Have you?’ John asked, though he didn’t turn to look at Tim. His eyes were still riveted on the stag until, as though aware of them, it bounded out of sight.
‘The hotel manager told me that if we drive to Gruinard Bay, which is about ten minutes from Camusnagaul, we might be lucky enough to spot whales, dolphins or porpoises.’
John’s head now snapped around. ‘You’re kidding?’
‘That’s what he said. We’ll start out early and if the weather is kind to us, we could take a picnic.’
‘I doubt Gran will agree to that. She hates the midges and it’s a job to get her to venture outdoors.’
Tim nodded in agreement. ‘I know, but it’s our last day tomorrow and we’ll just have to do our best to persuade her.’
John doubted they’d be successful and this proved to be true when Tim put the suggestion to Emily over dinner that evening.
‘No,’ she said firmly. ‘I can’t stand the midges. You two go, but I’m happy to remain here.’
‘I’m sorry, but I couldn’t help but overhear. May I make a suggestion?’ the waiter asked as he put the starters on the table.
‘Please do,’ Emily said, smiling sweetly up at him.
‘You’d have a greater chance of seeing whales or dolphins by boat. You can pick up a trip from Ullapool and at sea I doubt if the wee midges would pester you.’
‘Oh, yes, that sounds wonderful,’ Emily enthused. ‘What do you think, Tim?’
‘Well, I’m game and thank you for your suggestion,’ he said to the waiter before he moved away from their table.
His gran looked so excited, but John’s grip on his spoon was tight as he picked it up to start on his soup. When he’d rang Kevin there hadn’t been any news and the thought that he hadn’t had a chance to make things up to his grandfather, or even to say goodbye, still tortured his mind. He’d found some solace in Scotland, absorbed when they went out to search for wildlife, but at night, alone in his bed, he was tormented by nightmares of his grandfather’s body still drifting somewhere in the sea, picked at by fish and other sea life. It haunted John so much that the thought of going on a boat trip horrified him.
‘I’m really looking forward to tomorrow,’ Emily said. ‘It’ll be nice to go out without being eaten alive by midges. I bet you’re going to love it, John.’
He looked into his gran’s shining eyes. She’d been cooped up for so long in the hotel, he didn’t have the heart to tell her how he really felt.
‘Yes, I’m sure I will,’ he said, hiding his feelings.
‘Lucy, it’s been a while now, but if you don’t want to sleep with me, that’s fine. I’m not going to force you,’ Eddie said, ‘though it would be nice to know why you’ve gone cold on me.’
‘I’ve got my reasons.’
‘You’re not ill, are you?’ he asked, his expression showing his concern.
‘No, I’m fine,’ Lucy told him.
‘So what’s the problem then?’
‘I just don’t want to sleep with you, and now I suppose you’re going to tell me that you don’t want to see me any more. Please yourself, I don’t care,’ she said with a show of bravado.
‘Well, I care, Lucy. I think the world of you and the last thing I want is for us to break up.’
‘You’d soon find someone else.’
‘I don’t want anyone else. It’s you I want to marry.’
‘M … marry!’
‘Sod it, I didn’t mean to blurt that out.’
‘No, I’m sure you didn’t,’ Lucy said bitterly. ‘I suppose it’s one of the ruses you use to get a girl into bed, but of course you didn’t have to use it on me. I was easy, a willing widow, one who would sleep with you without any strings attached.’
Eddie sprang to his feet, his face suffused with colour. ‘What sort of bloke do you take me for? I don’t use tricks to get a girl into bed, and though I might play Jack the lad it’s just a front for the customers.’
‘So you say, but if that’s the case why mention marriage?’
‘We’ve only been seeing each other for a few months and I didn’t intend to. It’s too soon for you and I know that, but I love you, Lucy, and one day I’d hoped to marry you. Now though, seeing that you’ve got such a low opinion of me, I might as well go,’ he said dejectedly.
Lucy didn’t have a chance to respond as Eddie quickly left the room. He loved her! He wanted to marry her!
Oh, God, what have I done, she thought, yet even as it occurred to her to run after him, Lucy found that she couldn’t. She liked Eddie, liked him a lot, but love? Marriage?
No, no, she wasn’t ready for that, and slumping, with her head resting on the back of the sofa, Lucy let him go.
Chapter Thirty-Nine
When John returned from Scotland, Pearl was disappointed to see that he looked tired, strained, and she was worried. In another week the summer holidays would be over and John would have to return to school.
She watched her son closely as the days passed and saw that he was developing dark circles around his eyes, yet he insisted he was all right, until on Saturday, his cries in the night awoke her.
When she went to his room, Pearl found John thrashing in bed, shouting, ‘It’s got him! No! No!’
‘John, wake up, darling,’ Pearl said, gently shaking him. ‘You’re just having a nightmare, that’s all.’
‘No! Let him go! No!’
‘John, John,’ she urged.
His eyes opened, for a moment unfocused, but then he sat up and Pearl wrapped her arms around him as she had when nightmares frightened him as a child.
‘It’s all right, darling,’ she murmured. ‘It was just a bad dream.’
Though no longer a small child John began to cry and she hugged him tightly as he said, ‘It … it was awful. A … a whale got Granddad and it … it was eating him.’
Pearl had to swallow a lump in her throat. ‘It was just a bad dream, that … that’s all,’ she repeated, her voice breaking.
‘But they haven’t found his … his body?’
‘I don’t know, darling.’
Fully awake, John pulled himself from her arms and said, ‘Since we went out on a boat in Scotland to look for whales and dolphins, I’ve been having the same horrible nightmare night after night.’
‘John, why didn’t you tell me?’
‘I’m not a kid now, Mum, and I know that they’re not real.’
‘Did you spot any whales?’
‘My nightmare would make some sort of sense if we had, but no, we didn’t.’
‘Are you all right now?’ Pearl asked as she stroked his hair.
‘Yes,’ he said, lying down again.
‘Try to go back to sleep.’
‘All right. Good night, Mum.’
Pearl kissed his cheek, stroked his hair again and then returned to her own bed, hoping that talking about his nightmares would bring an end to them. She nestled into Derek’s back. She too had been wondering why they hadn’t recovered Bernie’s body. Yet surely they would soon and when they did his funeral would help to bring some closure for John.
Tim glanced at Emily as they drove to Battersea on Sunday morning, a week after returning from Scotland. This was her last day off before the new term began, but she was so excited and the journey would be worth it.
Emily was looking at the photographs again and he said, ‘Don’t you think they’re amazing?’
‘In almost every one John has captured something, some sort of essence. The backgrounds are wonderful too, and the light in this one is superb.’
‘Yes, the red stag, the dark skies, with just one ray of sunshine that seems to reach down to touch the animal.’
‘It’s so artistic, and would make a stunning painting.’
‘He must have inherited your talents – though he doesn’t paint, it’s a fabulous photograph. It’s as good as, no even better, than the ones on show in the hotel. I’m going to get it enlarged and framed.’
‘I can’t wait to show them to John.’
‘We’re nearly there,’ Tim said and only ten minutes later they pulled up outside the shop. As did Emily, he felt that John had a talent, and one that could be nurtured. When they got out of the car he took the parcel from the back seat, happy to give the lad a start.
Pearl welcomed them in and Emily hugged her daughter before they went upstairs. Nora remained seated at the table as she attempted to thread a string of coloured plastic beads.
‘Hello, darling,’ Emily said, hugging John.
Tim shook Derek’s hand, and said, ‘I hope you don’t mind the invasion.’
‘You’re welcome any time, you know that.’
Pearl went off to make a pot of tea while Emily urged John to sit beside her on the sofa. She handed him the wallet of photographs and said excitedly, ‘Take a look at these, darling.’
‘They’re good,’ John said after looking at them. ‘I think I took the one of the stag.’
‘You took all of them and we think they’re wonderful, don’t we, Tim?’
‘We certainly do. These are my efforts,’ Tim said as he held out another wallet.
‘They’re good too,’ John said after going through them.
‘Nice of you to say so, but they aren’t a patch on yours.’
‘Can I have a look?’ Derek asked and after handing out the drinks, Pearl did the same.
They admired both sets of photographs, but Tim could see how Pearl’s eyes lingered on John’s. ‘You can see it, can’t you?’ he said. ‘There’s something about the perspective and the way John has captured the light that makes them special.’
‘Yes, they’re marvellous,’ Pearl agreed.
Tim turned to John and asked, ‘Did you enjoy taking those photographs?’
‘Yes, but I don’t think they’d have turned out like that if you hadn’t taught me how to use your camera.’
‘Well, you’ve got one of your own now,’ he said, holding out the parcel.
‘Wow, thanks, Tim!’ John said, animated, as he tore open the parcel to find not only an identical camera, but four rolls of film too, one of which he deftly threaded from spool to spool. ‘I can’t wait to take some shots.’
‘If you’re that keen, off you go then,’ Derek urged, ‘but be back in an hour.’
‘Tim, thank you,’ Pearl said as soon as John had left the room. ‘I think you’ve given him a new interest and it’s just what he needs.’
‘If he takes to photography and continues to learn, with talent like that he could end up taking our wedding photographs.’
‘Tim, I think you’re expecting too much of him,’ Emily said, smiling. ‘Our wedding is only a few months away.’
‘Is it that soon?’ he said, acting surprised yet knowing it was true. ‘Did you hear that, Derek? I’ve on
ly got a few months of freedom left.’
‘In that case, you’d better make the most of them. Once they get that ring on their finger, we get one through our nose.’
Pearl laughed. ‘Derek, having a ring through your nose sounds like a good idea.’
Tim joined in the merriment, pleased everyone was smiling again. He was happy to be marrying into this family. In fact, December couldn’t come quickly enough for him, but he just hoped that nothing else would come along to mar Pearl, Derek and John’s happiness.
What upset them, touched Emily, of course, but no matter what, he would do his utmost to make her happy.
Chapter Forty
Lucy was on her way to work on Monday. She missed Eddie – the way he made her laugh, the feel of his arms around her – but now, when she walked past his stall, he didn’t even look at her.
She had misjudged him and wanted to apologise, but every time she plucked up the courage it deserted her. She had driven him away, knew it was her fault, but how could she explain her complicated feelings to Eddie?
‘Did you speak to him this time?’ Pearl asked as soon as she walked into the shop.
She shook her head. ‘No, he was busy.’
‘Lucy, it’s been nearly two weeks now and the longer you leave it, the harder it will be.’
‘What if he won’t accept my apology? I … I don’t think I could face it if he’s nasty to me.’
‘Lucy, if you really want him back, it’s a chance you’ll have to take. Go and talk to him.’
‘What about Nora?’
‘Look at her, she’s busy dusting and she’ll be fine for a while.’
Lucy knew she had run out of excuses and biting her lower lip nervously she headed back to Eddie’s stall.
When Eddie saw Lucy walking towards him, he quickly went over to another stall and engaged the costermonger in an inane conversation about the weather. He still loved Lucy, felt he always would, and it tore his guts out that she thought so badly of him. All right, he might enjoy a bit of flirtation, liked to make his customers laugh, but that was as far as it went. As for girlfriends, yes, he’d had quite a few, some that had been willing to indulge in a bit of slap and tickle, and others that hadn’t, but never before had he found one that he wanted to marry.