‘How about a walk on the beach instead?’ he asked. ‘We could find somewhere to sit and watch the sunset.’
‘Do you think there’s a chemist’s shop somewhere on this island?’
‘People come here to play,’ Ryan said confidently. ‘Sun, sand, surf and sex. Of course there’s a chemist’s shop.’ He kissed Holly again. ‘Good things are worth waiting for. And what we’re going to wait for is going to be a lot better than good.’
It was.
Better than good. Better than fantastic. It was stunning.
Love-making that was slow and careful, which had the effect of making it almost unbearably intense.
And, on a completely different level, it was equally magical to sleep in Ryan’s arms and to wake with that warmth and comfort of having someone to share every part of her day. Surely no new lovers had ever felt quite this close. This connected. Ryan touched the healing scar on Holly’s belly that first morning they woke together.
‘I love that it’s my kidney in there,’ he told her solemnly. ‘I wanted to do this for you so badly.’
‘Because you weren’t able to help your wife? Elise?’
‘No. Don’t ever think that, Holly. You’re nothing at all like Elise and the way I feel about you is just as different. I love you. More than I ever thought it was possible to love anyone.’
The words sent a thrill right down Holly’s spine.
‘I love you, too,’ she whispered. ‘I think I have for a long time but I didn’t let myself recognise it. There’s been no space in my life for any kind of relationship for so long.’
‘Same,’ Ryan said. ‘But I’m making space from now on.’
‘Me, too.’
‘How much space, Holly?’
‘As much as you want.’
‘Are you sure? Because I want it all. I want to live with you. To spend as much of every day as I can showing you how much I love you. I…I want to marry you, Holly.’
Holly couldn’t say anything in response for a moment. Her brain was whirling. To spend the rest of her life with Ryan. Could she trust that the overwhelming feelings she had for him were not simply a byproduct of the experience they had both just been through? That they wouldn’t fade when life settled into a new normality? To never have to go back to that apartment and be alone again held so much appeal it was enough to sound a warning. That apartment had been reality for a long time. She was in a place with Ryan right now that was so far removed from reality that what happened here might not last on their return.
But it was too hard to try and think rationally. The best Holly could manage was to sound a note of caution.
‘Let’s take it one step at a time,’ she said finally. ‘Jack said it the other day, didn’t he? We need to walk before we run.’
That first step was another three days in paradise.
Each day, Holly felt noticeably stronger and there were no signs that her body had any intention of rejecting Ryan’s gift. He checked carefully at least twice a day.
‘Your blood pressure is fine and your temperature’s normal. Any abdominal pain?’
‘Less every day.’
‘Any pain on passing urine?’
‘No.’
‘Frequency?’
‘No.’
‘Any ankle swelling? Feeling breathless?’
‘No. I feel so good, Ryan. I want to go swimming today and then see if I can walk up to the top of that hill behind the golf course.’
‘A swim’s a good idea. Pool or ocean?’
‘Oh, ocean, definitely. And let’s get a couple of those deck chairs and find a place to sunbathe.’
‘You’ll have to be careful with sun exposure. You’re going to burn a lot more easily with the medications you’re on. Have you taken your pills this morning?’
‘Yes, sir! And I’ve got a bucket of SPF 45 sunscreen.’ Holly’s smile was mischievous. As much as she loved having Ryan so concerned for her welfare, she felt nothing like an invalid any more. She wanted to enjoy every remaining moment they had on this island. ‘Want to help me put that sunscreen on?’
‘Try and stop me.’
They swam in water warm enough to be a caress and clear enough to watch the tiny jewel-like fish that darted beneath the surface.
They walked through gardens and forests, stopping to sniff the fragrance of tropical flowers like frangipani and admire the astonishing variety of orchids.
They watched for, and delighted in, the colourful, parrot-like birds the island had been named for and the prehistoric-looking iguanas that clung to branches by curling long, spindly toes.
They held hands and sat to listen to the sounds of the island. The gentle wash of surf, the songs of the islanders and the distant laughter of children.
They ate fresh, sun-ripened fruits like mangoes, pineapples, papayas and guava, and tasted local fish and even octopus.
They slept.
And made love.
And they didn’t want to go home.
Four days had been a blink in their lifetimes but the brief gap from normality had marked such a change there was no going back.
Holly had to trust that this would last. She wasn’t single any more. She was part of a couple and she was happier—and healthier—than she could ever remember being.
Life just couldn’t get any better than this, could it?
CHAPTER SEVEN
A NEW life.
Anchored in the familiarity of the old but so different that Holly felt she had moved from living in a black and white movie to one of glorious Technicolor.
The hospital was the same. A new series of patients came to replace the recent ones, as always, and Bella was one of the first. The surgery to correct her heart problem was straightforward and Holly was relieved to learn from Bella’s parents that any practice of veterinary skills on their puppy usually amounted to a game of tug-of-war with an old bandage after an unsuccessful attempt to wrap some part of its anatomy.
And, as always, the outpatient clinics provided a thread of continuity that Holly loved. She delighted in seeing the rapid progress towards normal childhoods that little Callum and Leo and now even baby Grace were making. She visited Michaela the day after she returned from Fiji, which was the day before Michaela would be allowed home to begin her new life.
‘You’re going to feel like a brand-new person,’ Holly told her, with a hug. ‘You’re going to love every minute of it.’
Like Holly did. The physical well-being that had her wide awake early in the morning, coping with long days of sessions in Theatre, outpatient clinics, ward rounds and meetings would have been enough to transform her life over the next few weeks all by itself, but that felt like only a small part of her new world.
Her apartment was basically still the same. The wealth of paraphernalia required for home dialysis had gone from the bedroom, however, and most of the clothes had been gradually moved from the wardrobe and chest of drawers because Holly had not returned to her old home to stay after the trip away with Ryan.
She wasn’t quite sure how she had moved into his half of the old villa without it seeming like another major life change. It had just happened. The flight back from Fiji had arrived late in Auckland so it had been sensible to go back to the Murphys’ where Jack had had supper waiting for them.
If Ryan’s grandfather had been surprised when he’d seen Holly the next morning after Ryan had said casually that she wouldn’t be needing her room in Jack’s half of the house that night, he’d given no sign of it. He waited a week to say anything at all, despite it being so obvious that Ryan and Holly were in love with each other, and even then his comment was matter-of-fact.
‘She’s part of the family, anyway, with that kidney. It was meant to be, that’s what I say.’
It certainly felt as though it was meant to be. And it was all so easy. Nights in Ryan’s arms only increased their magic as they both gained physical strength, and on the nights they didn’t indulge in love-making, Holly would still not h
ave wanted to be anywhere else in the world.
‘Marry me,’ Ryan urged. ‘Sell the apartment.’
‘Soon,’ Holly promised. ‘I want to get used to things first. Doesn’t it sometimes all seem a bit too good to be true?’
‘No.’ He pulled Holly into his arms. ‘It just seems perfect. I love you, Holly Williams. And I want to take care of you. For ever.’
And maybe that was enough to make Holly procrastinate about taking steps to formalise their commitment. Her apartment had always been a symbol of her independence. Her ability to take care of herself. Yes, she wanted a relationship with Ryan. Marriage and a family. But it had to be on equal terms, and while any misgivings could be put down to not knowing each other well enough yet, Holly was still reluctant to go public by announcing an engagement or plans for marriage. Those tiny doubts would need to be put to rest first.
In the early days after her transplant, Ryan’s attention to monitoring her physical condition and watching for any signs of rejection had been welcome. Reassuring. As the weeks passed and Holly’s drug regime was reduced to a level that removed most of the side effects and the extra weight she had gained without putting her into rejection, his level of concern became less welcome.
‘Taken your pills?’
‘Yes, Ryan.’ Holly finally rebelled on the day that marked a month’s anniversary of her moving in with Ryan. ‘Please, don’t ask me that every morning.’
‘I’m only trying to help.’
‘It’s not something I’m going to forget. I’ve been taking pills for years without needing supervision.’
‘Am I not allowed to show an interest in your state of health, then?’
‘Of course you are.’ Holly felt churlish for being annoyed. ‘But it is a state of health now, Ryan. I’m not sick any more.’
Thanks to him, she had to add silently, which had the effect of making her feel even more guilty at having caused the bewildered expression on his face.
‘And I only have to take a couple of pills now. I used to take handfuls. This is nothing.’
‘Which would make it easier to forget, wouldn’t it?’
‘Fair enough.’ Holly didn’t like the frisson of tension between them. And how ridiculous to allow that tension to remain when it was there because he cared so much about her. At least he’d stopped taking her blood pressure every day. He didn’t even get offended when Holly refused to let him take it on a weekly basis.
‘I have regular check-ups with Doug,’ she reminded him. ‘I’m not living with you in order to have a personal physician on hand.’
‘Fair enough. But you’ll tell me, won’t you, if you’re not feeling well?’
‘You’ll be the first to know,’ Holly promised.
‘I am glad you’re doing so well, darling. It’s wonderful to see you looking so much more alive at the end of a day. Even coping with nights on call.’
‘I feel so much more alive. I’m going to get back into a real exercise programme now. It’s getting light enough in the mornings to get a good walk in before work and I’m thinking of joining that gym that’s so close to St Margaret’s.’
‘A walk’s a great idea. I’ll come with you. I’ve got to start getting into shape for that fun run.’
‘Have you decided on a costume?’
‘Yeah. I’m going as a lion.’
‘Excellent choice.’ Holly reached up to ruffle his shaggy hair. ‘You’ve got the mane for it already.’
Ryan managed a convincingly leonine growl as he wrapped his arms around Holly, lifting her off her feet and scraping his teeth on her neck as she gave a co-operatively frightened squeak. Then he set her down and their smiles faded under the intensity of the glance they shared.
‘I love you, Holly.’
‘I love you, too, Ryan.’
The suburban streets undulated gently and provided perfect routes for gradually building up stamina. Ryan got up early with Holly each day and accompanied her, using the stretch of beach nearby and the biggest inclines to jog and sprint instead of walk. When Holly started jogging to keep up one day, however, Ryan immediately slowed his pace.
‘Hey, take it easy,’ he admonished. ‘You’re not ready to train for a marathon yet.’
No. But Holly felt she was more than ready to train for a fun run that was still over three weeks away. Even if she couldn’t complete it, she wanted to take part. Everybody at work, including her patients’ families, was taking such pleasure in her recovery from such a long, debilitating illness. The sponsorship Holly could gather for joining the run properly could be enormous. People would be far too used to her being healthy by this time next year and the same support might not be there. And she could manage it, she knew she could. Holly was itching to start really pushing her boundaries now. In every direction.
When an urgent summons to the emergency department interrupted their ward round that morning, Holly ran ahead of Ryan and only heeded his admonition to slow down when they reached the stairs.
‘Did they say what this boy has been impaled with?’
‘He was standing on a large tree branch when it broke. He fell along with it and got impaled on a smaller branch.’
‘And it’s a chest injury?’
‘Entry wound is in the abdomen with probable splenic injury, but it’s angled up and Tania sounded fairly confident that there may be cardiac involvement.’
Emergency cardiac surgery on children following trauma was unusual enough to get the adrenaline flowing and the tension ratcheted up several notches as they entered the strained atmosphere in the resuscitation area of Emergency.
‘Please,’ a woman cried. ‘Just take it out!’
‘We can’t do that, Mrs Johnson. It could make the injury a great deal worse. Taylor will have to go to Theatre to have the stick removed. Our cardiac surgeon is on his way. Here he is now, in fact.’ ED consultant Tania Townsend looked relieved at Ryan’s arrival. ‘Ryan, this is Jane Johnson—Taylor’s mother.’
The woman actually reached out to grab Ryan’s hand. ‘Please, you have to help my son. He’s—’
‘I know,’ Ryan interrupted. He paused for only a few moments to reassure the distraught woman and then they were beside the small, still figure lying on the bed.
‘Taylor is nine years old,’ Tania informed them. ‘He was conscious when the paramedics arrived and they stabilised the stick and transported him straight away. It’s now…’ she glanced up at the clock ‘…thirty five minutes since injury.’
‘You’ve got a chest drain in,’ Ryan observed. ‘Haemothorax?’
‘Haemopneumothorax,’ the consultant reported. ‘He was in severe respiratory distress by the time we got him. Initial drainage of blood was 1100 mils and it’s still draining at a rate that suggests active bleeding in the chest. I’d put him in Class III shock. He had a litre of saline en route and we’ve established another wide-bore line and run in a second litre. We’ve got cross-matched blood running now and should get some type-specific through by the time you get to Theatre. Vital signs improved initially but they’re dropping again. Systolic pressure’s currently 75.’
‘Chest X-ray?’
‘Here. Before and after the insertion of the chest drain.’ Tania was pointing to the illuminated screens. ‘There’s some rib fractures and still enough blood in the chest cavity to obscure things.’
‘Doesn’t look like he’s got a cardiac tamponade,’ Ryan noted, ‘but that stick’s got to be just about touching the heart.’
‘It is,’ Holly put in. ‘Come and look at this, Ryan.’
Holly was beside the bed and had crouched so that the stick protruding from the boy’s upper abdomen was at eye level. It moved up and down in time with the respirations now being provided by the ventilator, but Holly had spotted a more subtle movement. One that was in synch with the spikes on the ECG monitor.
‘Good grief,’ Ryan murmured. ‘It must be actually in contact with the heart.’
‘Theatre’s on standby,’ Tania
told them. ‘I alerted them at the same time I called you.’
‘General surgery?’
‘They’ll meet you up there.’
Their patient would need a laparotomy as well as a thoracotomy thanks to the abdominal injury that was no doubt contributing to the boy’s dangerous level of blood loss. Holly knew that Theatre was going to be crowded and until they opened this youngster’s chest, they had no real idea what kind of damage they would have to deal with.
It was going to be a battle to save young Taylor’s life and Holly was aware of a thrill of excitement as she stood beside Ryan, scrubbing up in preparation of the emergency surgery. She cast more than one glance at the man beside her.
If it had been her child waiting for a surgeon’s knife in this situation then Ryan Murphy would be her first choice. Maybe, one day, she might have the confidence and skill herself to face such a challenge so calmly.
Having opened the chest and retracted only one side to avoid moving the stick, the surgeons could see nothing but a pool of blood that shouldn’t have been there.
‘Suction, please,’ Ryan requested. ‘Has that new lot of blood arrived yet?’
‘Just,’ the anaesthetist responded. ‘Hanging the first unit now.’
Holly sucked the blood clear and they could see the other end of the small branch on the inside of the chest wall.
‘It’s lacerated the pericardium and the surface of the ventricle,’ Ryan announced. ‘It’s nicked the inferior vena cava as well, which is where all this blood is coming from. Suction again, Holly, thanks. And I need a clamp.’
With the bleeding from the major blood vessel leading into the heart controlled, it was possible to remove the short length of branch and start to clean up and repair the damage. Miraculously, the penetrating object had stopped just short of rupturing a chamber of the child’s heart, which would have proved rapidly fatal.
‘Pressure’s on its way up finally,’ the anaesthetist informed them. ‘Ninety systolic.’
Taylor’s spleen had been grazed by the stick but did not require removal. With the ongoing blood loss stopped and the patient’s condition improving, it was a pleasure for everybody present to watch Ryan’s meticulous attention to cleaning the wound as much as possible and closing the chest again.
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