by Chloe Maddox
My tongue darted out to lick my suddenly dry mouth. Alex’s eyes darkened as he watched the movement, and his entire body tensed in response.
He was right, of course.
This was a bad idea.
Yet, I couldn’t seem to stop myself.
“I doubt we would,” I murmured, softly as I tucked my hair behind my ear.
“Sandra,” he warned. “I’m not the type of guy you think I am.”
“What kind of guy would that be?”
“The knight in shining armor type. Trust me, I couldn’t be further from it. I like the adrenaline rush that comes from being in high profile cases, and as such my relationships have been defined by how hot they burn, and how fast they fizzle out. I can’t even really call them relationships,” he argued.
“I’m not asking for anything, Alex. Jesus don’t make me sound like one of those women.”
“Aren’t you?” His eyes scanned my face for the truth. “What kind of woman are you?”
“I’m figuring that out, Alex, but I do know one thing. If you think you’re messed up then I’m just as messed up. I have commitment issues because of certain things in my past, and I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to get over that.”
The words came tumbling out of my mouth like a waterfall, without my consent and without my knowledge.
I hadn’t meant to divulge that much, but once they were out, I couldn’t take them back, so I held his gaze steadfastly and refused to be the one to look away first.
My mouth pressed into a thin line as Alex pushed himself off the counter and stood in front of me. I took a step backwards, so that my back hit the couch, and I had to crane my neck up just to look at him.
“I don’t care what kind of commitment issues you might have. I just don’t know if you’d be able to handle me.”
“Why wouldn’t I?”
“I like to be in control, Sandra.”
“You mean you like to dominate?” My mouth fell open.
“To an extent, yes. It’s not as humiliating as it sounds. Most women actually like it. It’s a different kind of high to have someone boss you around like that.”
“So…” I drew the word out as I waited for the words to organize themselves inside my head. “You’re an alpha male?”
“Essentially, yes. Do you understand what that means?” Alex asked, casually.
He was being very blasé about the whole thing.
The whole thing was entirely too strong for me.
Here I was standing in front of a man I met just a day ago, and we were discussing sex as if we were talking about the weather, or the country’s state of affairs.
It was a little disconcerting, but strangely erotic.
I was about to nod then shook my head at the last minute. “I think it means you like to be in charge in the bedroom, and you’re protective. Slightly domineering. Maybe overbearing?”
Alex pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger.
Chapter 5
“Fucking stereotypes,” he grumbled as he released his nose and let out a deep sigh. “Okay, to clarify yes I like to be in charge in the bedroom. For the most part at least. Yes, I’m protective. No, I’m not overbearing. At least not to my knowledge.”
His mouth twisted into a frown. “As for overbearing, I will admit I’ve been called that, but that’s only because it seeps into real life. That alpha personality, but I can usually reign it in.”
“Usually?” I questioned, skeptically.
“It’s not a perfect system,” Alex admitted. “I’m working on the kinks.”
“In a literal way or metaphorical way?” I teased, wanting to lighten the tension. He looked so serious in that moment, and I wanted to reach out and smooth the lines on his face.
Alex bit back a laugh. “I suppose there’s always room for improvement on either front.”
I was about to open my mouth and say something else when the sound of the whistle interrupted us both. Alex stood still for a minute, almost as if he were debating something then he shook his head and turned his back on me.
He carefully poured the tea into the mug, letting the silence stretch between us till I had no idea what to say to break it.
Sure, I’d heard of relationships like that.
I’d even paid to see Fifty Shades of Grey, but it mostly made me cringe. Not the sex parts, but the so-called relationship parts. I couldn’t understand why anyone would want to stay in a relationship like that.
Abusive, controlling and toxic were a few of the words I’d use to describe it. The only problem was, I wasn’t sure how to distinguish if the sex they had in the movie was a continuation of that abuse, or if it was in spite of it.
How could anyone be okay with being beat up like that and call it sexy?
I shuddered at the thought which Alex saw, and he gave me a quizzical look. He walked towards with two steaming hot mugs of tea, his shoes clattering on the floor.
I gestured towards the couch after I pushed myself away from the couch. I went around to the other side, and I sank into the couch snuggling against its back as I sighed.
After setting down the tea on coasters, Alex plopped onto the couch, and it shifted against his weight causing a slight dip that threw me sideways. I smacked into his side and rubbed my nose as I stared up at him.
“Is your couch always this accommodating?” Alex teased.
“I have no idea. This would be a first, but I would definitely say it’s misbehaving,” I admonished as I gave the couch a dirty look.
Alex lightly rested his hand on my shoulder, but he just let it lay there. The implication heavy. “I think it’s definitely on the path to misbehaving.”
“Yeah? What makes you think that?” I tilted my head to the side.
“Certain moves it’s made,” he said, seriously.
Okay, I was confused.
I was also pretty sure we weren’t talking about the couch anymore.
Not that I could be sure without flat out asking and looking like a fool.
“Oh? You think that means the couch is misbehaving? What if it was just testing the waters?” I played along as I pushed my hair behind my back.
“You can’t truly test the waters without diving right in,” Alex pointed out. “How does the couch propose it do that?”
“Just a little dip of the toes at first to see how it feels,” I whispered as I watched the color in his eyes shift and change. He angled his head, and I craned my up, so that we were eye.
Our noses were almost touching, and our breaths intermingled together to form one. We were so close, I could count every individual eyelash, and I could see the slight almost miniscule freckles on his otherwise tan face.
“What if the water thinks it isn’t enough?” he mouthed as his entire body tensed and awaited my next answer.
“Then they’ll have to sort it out. The only way to know is they both try at the same—” I leaned in closer and just as I was about to seal my lips with his, breathed the last word. “time.”
Alex didn’t respond at first, and I held myself still for fear of what he might do. Nothing would be worse than him pushing me away right now, but not reacting at all was a close second.
Did he not like the way I kissed? Did my mouth smell bad? Were the sparks in our head?
Just as I was about to pull away, Alex melted into the kiss, and both arms came up to wrap themselves around me. Inwardly, I breathed a sigh of relief and pushed myself closer, so that I was practically straddling his lap.
I made a low moan in the back of my throat when he bit my bottom lip, and with a sigh, my mouth parted, and his tongue darted in. Tentatively, my tongue darted out to meet his, and soon it became a sensual and complicated battle for dominance.
Alex growled as his arms wrapped around my hips, and he hoisted me up without breaking the kiss. Next thing I know, I was on his lap with his member poking me between my thighs.
A part of me dimly wondered if we were taking this too fa
st, but I didn’t care. The heedy way he was making me feel, like every nerve was on fire was enough to make me chuck rationale right out the window.
He tasted like tobacco and mint. A potent mixture that combined with his spicy cologne invaded my nostrils and went straight to my head. My hands came up around his neck and twined themselves in his beautiful luscious hair.
I twisted my neck, so that Alex would have better access, and he responded by running his hands all over my body.
I shivered in response as my hands traveled to the front of his shirt, and I grabbed a fistful of it in an effort to pull him closer. Alex made this low sexy noise in the back of his throat that had goosebumps breaking out all across my body.
I made a meowling noise in response, and Alex’s hands traveled to my ass where he squeezed tightly. I adjusted myself, so that my legs were comfortably placed on either side of him when I grinded.
Alex grunted as he met my thrust with one of his own. The impact alone had my insides turn into liquid, and my core grow wet in anticipation. Alex had one hand playing with my hair, and the other lying idly by his side, so boldly I took his idle hand, and firmly placed it atop my swollen breasts.
He complied by tugging and kneading on them over the fabric which had me wrenching my lips away and gasping for breath. I had no idea when that area became that sensitive, but I threw my head back and pushed myself even closer, so that his other hand came up and played with my other breast.
Soon, he was tweaking both of them, expertly kneading them in his hands, so that they were as hard as pebbles, and I felt his bulge thicken underneath me. A small smile erupted onto my face as my breathing came out in short labors gasps.
Alex Coldwell knew exactly what he was doing, and I was happy to see that I wasn’t wrong on that account. His long and smooth fingers knew exactly how to push, when to give you more, and when to leave you thirsty for more. It was the perfect combination that had me throwing my head back and letting out all kinds of animal noises.
Alex’s eyes were dark as he watched me, there was no doubt that he was just as aroused by me as I was by him, and I placed my hand on either side of his shoulder and squeezed.
“Alex I—”
He pressed his finger firmly to my lips. “No talking.”
I stared at him, wide eyed and confused before I remembered his earlier talk about being the alpha male. I decided to test his little theory by opening my mouth to respond, but he crushed his lips against mine, stealing my breath away.
“I said. No. Talking.” He punctuated each pause with a deep kiss, each one more toe curling than the last.
Eventually, he gazed at me and waited for my affirmation. When I gave him a slight nod, he rewarded me with a pat on my behind that turned into a swift spank. I jumped up in surprise as I glared at him accusingly.
“That’s for not listening the first time,” he said, lightly, his eyes smoldering.
“What happens if I misbehave again?” I asked, breathlessly as I began to wriggle my hips. Alex placed his hands firmly on my butt to keep me from moving, and he met my gaze squarely.
“Then you’ll have to be punished.”
My stomach dipped at his words, and my heart skipped a beat. My throat suddenly felt dry as I swallowed deeply. “How?”
“Like this.” He swooped over me, so that I was lying flat on my back, and he was hovering over me. He pinned my legs on either side of me, and he held my hands in one of his in a vice like grip.
There was a brief part of me that wondered if I should be afraid. After all, I barely knew the guy, but there was something in his eyes then, and the way that he was handling me, gentle in spite of his strength that let me know I could trust him.
My gut instinct weighed on it too.
Or maybe it was just my hormones.
Either way, I knew that if I called off the whole thing right now, Alex wouldn’t force me into it. That, I trusted.
A strand of hair fell across his eye, framing his face and making it look more youthful and vulnerable. It somehow counteracted the whole alpha male thing he had going for him, and an irrational giggle escaped my lips.
A confused look appeared across Alex’s face as his mouth twitched, threatening to break out into a grin. “What’s so funny?”
“Your hair,” I revealed, knowing that I sounded absolutely ridiculous.
His free hand patted his hair, no doubt looking for something that was errant. “What’s wrong with my hair?”
“You have a lock of hair that fell over your eyes,” I pointed out as I used the edge of my chin to nudge him in the right direction.
Alex smirked as he pushed the wayward strand of hair back behind his ears as he balanced himself on top of me. “I’ve certainly never gotten this reaction before.”
“I’m sorry.” I grinned as I tried to keep the laughter from bubbling up.
“You don’t look sorry.”
He was right.
I didn’t sound like it either.
It must’ve been the weight of everything that had transpired tonight finally dawning on me. I almost got raped for heaven’s sake, and here I was pinned beneath a man mere hours later. Granted, this was a man I wanted, and he wanted me back, so this was completely different.
And yet…
Yeah, this was definitely not in character.
“I think it’s the hysteria,” Alex said, finally.
“Excuse me? I am not hysterical,” I sniffed, the grin fading from my face.
“I didn’t say you were hysterical. I said you’re about to suffer from hysteria. It’s a delayed reaction to what almost happened earlier tonight. Now that the adrenaline is leaving your system, your emotions are flooding you, and there is no proper gateway right now,” he explained.
“I had no idea you were a shrink as well,” I said, dryly.
“I spend time around a lot of them.”
“Doesn’t make you an expert,” I snapped.
Who did he think he was to hover over me like that, making my insides turn to jelly while simultaneously analyzing my sanity?
That just wasn’t right.
On so many levels.
“No, you’re right. It doesn’t, but it does give me some insight,” he countered, his eyes sweeping over me. “I knew this was a bad idea.”
My heart plummeted to my legs when he said that. A sudden splat as shame washed over me. The fog surrounding both of us suddenly cleared enough for me to regain a little bit of my rationale.
“If you think it’s such a bad idea then why did you kiss me back?” I demanded as I squirmed beneath him, trying to ignore how it felt to have him pressed against me. I pushed how it made me feel to the back of my mind, refusing to acknowledge it.
Now was not the time.
“In fact, why are you on top of me right now?” I pushed.
Alex watched me carefully, a myriad of emotions playing out across his face. He seemed to be weighing his options, trying to decide what was right to say, and what he wanted to say.
There was also my so-called hysteria that needed to be factored in.
“Because I want to be,” he revealed. “Thinking it’s a bad idea, yet still acting on it are two different things.”
“How are they different? From where I’m standing, one leads to the other. If you have an idea, and you act on it, you own up to it regardless of how you feel, but you shouldn’t make the other person feel bad about it.”
Alex sighed, worry lines appearing on his face, his blue eyes troubled. “Yes, you’re right. That’s hardly fair. After all, I’m as much to blame here as you are.”
I huffed in frustration as I twisted in his grasp. Finally seeming to sense my discomfort without the need for me to say it, Alex released my hands immediately and yanked them away as if he’d been electrocuted.
He scooched backwards, so that he was resting on his hind legs, his expression now unreadable.
“Why do you keep saying that? We both wanted it to happen, Alex. That doesn�
�t make it a bad idea.”
“It’s a bad idea because I should’ve known better considering the factors that led up to right now,” Alex argued, his mouth pressing into a thin line afterwards.
I pursed my lips. “Alright.”
“What?” Alex’s eyebrows knitted together in confusion. “I don’t understand.”
“You can’t take responsibility for what lead us here. We both walked into this. However, I won’t make you stay, so you can leave if that’s what you really want.” I jerked my head towards the door as I rearranged my features into what I hoped was an impassive expression.
Sure, my pride and ego hurt, but I’d get over it.
And he wouldn’t get to see that.
Just because he hurt my feelings didn’t mean I was going to make a big fuss about it.
“Sandra I—” He began as he unfolded his legs from underneath him and stood up, his shirt riding up to reveal the smooth muscles of his back. I dragged my eyes away and focused instead on a blank spot on the wall behind him.
“Just leave,” I instructed as I too stood up, careful to keep as much distance between us as possible lest my hormones kick into overdrive once more.
“I can’t just leave like that. You’re injured. At least let me help you,” he reasoned, his voice pleading with me.
I lifted my chin up and meet his gaze without flinching. “I’m not some puppy dog you picked off the street, or a charity case. I can take care of myself.”
“Of course, you can. I didn’t mean it like that.”
“I don’t care what you meant. I think you should just leave,” I insisted, calmly as I strode towards the door aware as I was going that my hand brushed past his, and I could’ve reached out and touched it.
I yanked the door open, a little harder than necessary causing a gust of wind to blow inside and strew some papers about. Alex stood where he was, a stubborn expression on his face, and his jaw set.
“Don’t get mad—” He began again, taking a step forward with his hands raised in an effort to placate me.
“Enough!” I yelled causing him to wince in response. A dejected expression crossed his features as he ducked his head and began to rub his eyes.