“As I recall,” I tried again, staring at the ceiling, “at the time you were working as the Court Magician at Possiltum ... without any kind of written agreement at all. Would you have come to you for contract advice?”
“All right, all right. I hear you, Aahz. So what is it you want me to do, Quigley?”
I caught the use of “me” instead of “us”, but let it go for the time being.
“Well, it’s a little late, but I’d like to take you up on your offer. I was hoping you could look over the contract and see if there’s a way out of it. My time is almost up, but I’m afraid they’re going to exercise their renewal option and I’ll be stuck here for another three years.”
“Don’t tell me, let me guess,” I winced. “It’s their option whether or not to renew your contract. You have no say in the matter. Right?”
“Right. How did you know?”
“Lucky guess. I figured it went nicely with the ‘No Quit’ clause. And I thought slavery had been outlawed ...”
“Just exactly what are your duties these days, Quigley?”
Skeeve had been maintaining a thoughtful silence on the sofa until he interrupted me with his question.
“Not much, really,” Quigley admitted. “More entertainment than anything else. As a matter of fact, I’m going to have to be leaving soon. I’m due to put on an appearance at the game this afternoon.”
“The game?” I said. “They’re still playing that?”
“Oh, certainly. It’s still the major activity for entertainment and betting around here. They just don’t play it for the Trophy, is all. It’s been a much less emotional game since you guys trounced the locals, but they still get pretty worked up over it. I’ll be putting on the after-game entertainment. Nothing much, just a few ...”
I glanced at him when he failed to finish his sentence, only to discover he was snoring quietly in his chair, sound asleep. Puzzled, I shifted my gaze to Skeeve.
“Sleep spell,” he said with a wink. “I figured it was only appropriate. After all, I learned that spell on our last trip here after our friend here used it on Tananda.”
“Don’t you want to hear more about the contract were supposed to be breaking for him, or at least take a look at it?”
“Don’t need to. I’ve already heard enough to rough out a plan.”
“... And that is ...?”
His smile broadened.
“I’ll give you a hint.”
His features seemed to melt and shift ... and I was looking at the “old man” disguise Quigley favored for his work.
We don’t want two Quigleys attending the game, do we? The way I see it, the best way to get him out of the contract is to take his place this afternoon.”
I didn’t like the sound of that.
“You’re going to get him fired? Isn’t that a bit drastic? I mean, how’s it going to look on his resume?”
“Look, Aahz,” he snarled. “I was the one who wanted to take the easy out and buy him out of his troubles. Remember? You’re the one who said there had to be another way. Well, I’ve got another way. Now are you coming, or do you just want me to tell you how it went after it’s over?”
* * *
THE STADIUM WAS impressive no matter how you looked at it. Of course, any time you get nearly 100,000 people together all screaming for blood, it’s bound to be impressive. I was just glad that this time they weren’t screaming for our blood.
There was one bad moment, though. It seems that Quigley /Skeeve as a City-State Official got in free, whereas I, in disguise as an ordinary Joe, had to get a ticket to get past the fences. This was well and good, except that it meant we were separated for a bit. During that time, it suddenly dawned on me that if Skeeve got a little lax or wandered out of range, my disguise spell would disappear, revealing my true identity. As one of the team that trounced the locals and made off with their beloved Trophy, it occurred to me that there could be healthier pastimes than being suddenly exposed in the middle of thousands of hopped-up Game fans. Fortunately, I never had to find out for sure. Skeeve loitered about until I gained admission, and we pushed on together. It did give me pause, however, to realize how much I had grown to depend on the Kid’s skills since losing my own powers.
Quigley/Skeeve was apparently well known, and many of the fans called to him as we entered the stadium proper. The salutations, however, were less than complimentary.
“Quigley! How’s it going, you old fart?”
“Hey, Quigley! Are you going to do the same trick again?”
“Yeah! Maybe you can get it right this time!”
Each of these catcalls was, of course, accompanied by the proper “Haw, haw, haw!” brays, as can only be managed by fans who have started drinking days before in preparation for their role in the game. Maybe Quigley was used to this treatment, but it had been a long time since anyone had spoken to the Great Skeeve like that, and I noticed a dangerous glint developing in his eye that boded ill for whoever he finally decided to focus his demonstration on.
The game itself was actually rather enjoyable. It was a lot more fun to watch when we weren’t the ones getting our brains beaten out on the field. I found myself cheering for the occasional outstanding play and hooting the rare intervention of the officials, along with the rest of the crazed mob.
Quigley /Skeeve, on the other hand, maintained an ominous silence. I found this to be increasingly unnerving as the afternoon wore on. I knew him well enough to tell he was planning something. What I didn’t know were the specifics of “what” and “when”. Finally, as the end of the game loomed close, I could contain myself no longer.
“Say, uh, Skeeve,” I said, leaning close so he could hear me over the din of the crowd. “Have you got your plan worked out?”
He nodded without taking his eyes off the field.
“Mind telling me about it?”
“Well, remember how I got fired from Possiltum?” he said, glancing around to see if anyone was eavesdropping.
“Yeah. You told the King off. So?”
“... So I don’t see any reason why the same thing shouldn’t work here. I don’t imagine that City-State Officials are any less pompous or impressed with themselves than the monarch of a broken-down kingdom was.”
That made sense. It was nice to see the Kid hadn’t completely lost his feel for people.
“So what are you going to chew them out over? Their treatment of Quigley?”
He shook his head.
“Out of character,” he said. “Quigley isn’t the type to make a fuss over himself. No, I figured to make the fight the key issue.”
“Fight? What fight?”
“The one that’s about to break out on the field,” Quigley /Skeeve grinned. “The way I see it, these two teams have been rivals for over five hundred years. I can’t believe all their old grudges have been forgotten just because the government’s changed.”
“I dunno, partner. It’s been a pretty clean game so far. Besides, it’s already a rough contact sport. What’s going to start a fight?”
“Most of the contact is around the ball ... or cube, or whatever they call it. Never did get that straight. This late in the game, all the players are hyped up but not thinking too clearly from butting heads all afternoon. Now watch close.”
He leaned forward to hide his hands, as one finger stretched out and pointed at the field.
There were two particularly burly individuals who had been notably at each other’s throats all day, to the delight of the crowd. At the moment, they were jogging slowly side by side along the edge of the main action of the field, watching for the ball/ cube to bounce free. Suddenly, one player’s arm lashed out in a vicious backhand that smashed into his rival’s face, knocking his helmet off and sending him sprawling onto the turf. The move was so totally unexpected and unnecessary that the crowd was stunned into
silence and immobility. Even the player who had thrown the punch looked surprised ... which he undoubtedly was. Nothing like a little tightly focused levitation to make someone’s limbs act unpredictably, unless they’re expecting it and braced against the interference.
The only one who didn’t seem immobilized by the move was the player who had been decked. Like I said, the actual players of the game, unlike their out-of-shape fans, are built like brick walls—with roughly the same sense of humor. The felled player was on his feet with a bounce and launched himself at his supposed attacker. While that party was unsure about the magik that had momentarily seized his arm, he knew what to do about being pummeled, and in no time at all the two rivals were going at it hammer and tongs.
It might have worked, but apparently the teams took whatever truce had been called seriously. Amid the angry shouts from the stands and the referee’s whistle, they piled on their respective teammates and pried them apart.
“Too bad, Skeeve,” I said. “I thought you had them there.”
When there was no response, I glanced at him. Brow furrowed slightly now, he was still working.
The player who had been attacked was free of his teammates. Though obviously still mad, he was under control as he bent to pick up his helmet. At his touch, however, the helmet took off through the air like a cannonball and slammed into the rival team member who had supposedly thrown the first punch. Now helmets in this game are equipped with either horns or points, and this one was no exception. The targeted player went down like a marionette with its strings cut, but not before losing a visible splatter of blood.
That did it.
At the sight of this new attack on their teammate, this time when the ball wasn’t even in play, the fallen player’s whole team went wild and headed for the now unhelmeted attacker ... whose teammates in turn rallied to his defense.
Both benches emptied as the reserves came off the sidelines to join the fray ... or started to. Before they had a chance to build up any speed, both sets of reserves were imprisoned by the glowing blue cages of magikal wards, an application I’ll admit I had never thought of. Instead of the fresh teams from the benches, Quigley /Skeeve took the field.
I hadn’t realized he had moved from my side until I saw him vault the low railing that separated the spectators from access to the playing field. The move was a bit spry for the “old man” guise he was using, but no one else seemed to notice.
It was a real pleasure to watch the Kid work ... especially considering the fact that I taught him most of what he knows. I had to admit he had gotten pretty good over the years.
“STOP IT!! THAT’S ENOUGH!!” he roared. “I SAID, STOP IT!!!”
Still shouting, he waded into the players on the field who were locked in mortal combat. The ones who were standing he crumpled in their tracks with a gesture ... a gesture which I realized as a simple sleep spell. The others he easily forced apart with judicious use of his levitational abilities. Two players who were grappling with each other he not only separated, but held aloft some twenty feet off the ground. As swiftly as it had started, the fight was stopped, and right handily, too.
As could have been predicted, no sooner had the dust settled than a troop of officious-looking individuals came storming out onto the field, making a beeline for Quigley /Skeeve. While I may have lost my powers, there’s nothing wrong with my hearing, and I was easily able to listen in on the following exchange, unlike the restless fans in the stands around me.
“Quigley, you ... How dare you interrupt the game this way?”
“Game?” Quigley /Skeeve said coolly, folding his arms. “That wasn’t a game, that was a fight ... even though I can see how you could easily confuse the two.”
“You have no right to ... Put them down!”
This last was accompanied by a gesture at the suspended players. Skeeve didn’t gesture, but the two players suddenly dropped to the turf with bone-jarring thuds that drew the same “Ooooos” from the crowd as you get from a really good hit during actual play.
“... As to my rights,” Quigley /Skeeve intoned, not looking around, “I’m under contract to use my magikal powers to help keep the peace in Vey-gus and Ta-hoe. The way I see it, that includes stopping brawls when I happen across them ... which I’ve just done. To that end, I’m declaring the game over. The current score stands as final.”
With that, the cage/wards began migrating toward their respective tunnels, herding the players within along with them. Needless to say, the crowd did not approve.
“You ... you can’t do that!” the official’s spokesman screamed over the rising tide of boos from the stands. “The most exciting plays happen in the last few minutes!”
As a final flourish, Quigley /Skeeve levitated the fallen players on the field down the tunnels after their teammates.
“I’ve done it,” he said. “What’s more, I intend to do it at every scheduling of this barbaric game when things get out of hand. My contract is up for renewal soon, and I realized I’ve been a bit lax in my duties. Consequently, I thought I’d remind you of exactly what it is you’re keeping on the payroll. If you don’t like it, you can always fire me.”
I smiled and shook my head in appreciation. I had to hand it to the Kid. If attacking the dimension’s favorite pastime didn’t get Quigley canned, I didn’t know what would.
* * *
“YOU SHUT DOWN the game?”
That was Quigley expressing his appreciation for Skeeve’s help.
We were back at his place with our disguises off and the magician revived. Apparently our assistance wasn’t quite what he had been expecting.
“It seemed like the surest way to get you out of your contract,” Skeeve shrugged. “The locals seem rather attached to the game.”
“Attached to ... I’m dead!” the magician cried with a groan. “I won’t just get fired, I’ll be lynched!”
The Kid was unmoved.
“Not to worry,” he said. “You can always use a disguise spell to get away, or if it’ll make you feel better, well give you an escort to ...”
There was a knock on the door.
“Ah. Unless I miss my guess, that should be the Council now. Get the door, Quigley.”
The magician hesitated and glanced around the room as if looking for a way to escape. Finally he sighed and trudged toward the door.
“Speaking of disguises, Skeeve ...” I said.
“Oh, right. Sorry, Aahz.”
With an absent-minded wave of his hand we were disguised again, this time in the appearances we used when we first arrived.
“Oh! Lord Magician. May we come in? There are certain matters we must... oh! I didn’t realize you had guests.”
It was indeed the Council. Right on schedule. I snuck a wink at Skeeve, who nodded in encouragement.
“These are ... friends of mine,” Quigley said lamely, as if he didn’t quite believe it himself. “What was it you wanted to see me about?”
Several sets of uneasy eyes swept us.
“We ... um ... hoped to speak with you in private.”
“We’ll wait outside, Quigley,” Skeeve said, getting to his feet.
“Just holler if you need us.”
* * *
“WELL, THAT’S THAT,” I sighed after the door closed behind us. “I wonder what Quigley’s going to do for his next job?”
Skeeve leaned casually against the wall.
“I figure that’s his problem,” he said. “After all, he’s the one who asked us to spring him from his contract. I assume he has something else lined up.”
“... And if he doesn’t? Quigley’s never been big in the planning-ahead department. “It won’t be easy for him to find work with a termination on his record.”
“Like I said, that’s his problem,” Skeeve shrugged. “He can always ...”
The door opened, and the C
ouncil trooped silently out. Quigley waited until they were clear, and then beckoned us inside frantically.
“You’ll never guess what happened,” he said excitedly.
“You were fired, right?” Skeeve replied. “C’mon, Quigley, snap out of it. Remember us? We’re the ones who set it up.”
“No, I wasn’t fired. Once they got over being mad, they were impressed by the show of magik I put on at the game. They renewed my contract.”
I found myself looking at Skeeve, who was in turn looking back at me. We held that pose for a few moments. Finally Skeeve heaved a sigh.
“Well,” he said, “we’ll just have to think of something else. Don’t worry, Quigley. I haven’t seen a contract yet that couldn’t be broken.”
“Ummm ... actually, I’d rather you didn’t.”
That shook me a bit.
“Excuse me, Quigley. For a moment there I thought you said ...”
“That’s right. You see, the Council was impressed enough that they’ve given me a raise ... a substantial raise. I don’t think I’ll be able to do better anywhere else, especially if they ask for a demonstration of my skills. There have been some changes in the contract, though, and I’d really appreciate it if you two could look it over and let me know what I’m in for.”
“I’m sorry about that, Skeeve,” I said as we trudged along. “All that work for nothing.”
We had finally finished going over the contract with Quigley and were looking for a quiet spot to head back to Deva unobserved.
“Not really. We solved Quigley’s problem for him, and that new contract is a definite improvement over the old one.”
I had meant that he had done a lot of work for no pay, but decided not to push my luck by clarifying my statement.
“You kind of surprised me when we were talking outside,” I admitted. “I half expected you to be figuring on recruiting Quigley for our crew, once he got free of his contract.”
The Kid gave a harsh bark of laughter.
MA07 MYTH Inc Link Page 11