by Foz Meadows
‘I’ve been listening for a while,’ he explained. ‘I just couldn’t get up.’ He glanced from Evan to Solace. ‘Meant to say, thanks. I remember you guys looked after me. After the bar.’ Then his eyes went straight to Paige, and stayed there. ‘Thanks to you, too,’ he said, more softly than before. ‘For staying with me.’
Paige trembled. Leaping up, she crossed the room and flung herself at Harper, wrapping herself around his torso in a miniature bear hug. He grunted at the impact, but otherwise remained steady, even dropping a shaky kiss on the top of her head.
Solace looked away, feeling both relieved at their reconciliation and deeply uncomfortable, as though she were intruding on something private. For a few awkward moments, everyone followed Jess’s earlier example and stared at the ceiling, not quite sure where to rest their eyes.
Then Paige giggled, and the spell was broken. One arm around Harper, she led him to the lounge and helped him sit, as happy as Solace had ever seen her.
‘You were saying?’ Jess said, somewhat archly. ‘Shadowfriend?’
‘Yeah.’ Harper nodded. ‘I think it’s another Trick reference – in silence burning, you know. And fire casts shadows.’
‘I agree,’ said Laine, in the same subdued voice she’d used earlier. Her eyes flickered to Evan, and again, Solace wondered what she was missing.
‘Daughter, Watcher, Bright One, Shadowfriend.’ Manx ticked them off on his fingers. ‘That’s four down. Not bad.’
With typically impudent timing, Duchess sashayed out of Solace’s room, tail held aloft like a thin blue pennant. Solace translated the remark, wondering distantly for how long her guardian had been listening in. Probably, she’d teleported as soon as the door was shut.
Evan scowled. ‘Not that I’m not grateful for your rescuing us again, but rather than waltz around being generally catlike and annoying, why don’t you give us some actual advice?’
After Manx dutifully relayed this, Evan continued. ‘Because you’re not just an ordinary cat, are you? Not even a cat with Rarity. You’re something else. You didn’t meet us by accident, and you’re not helping us just for the free swans. I mean, you knew about the Rookery, and Liluye. Just now, even, you knew –’ he paused, irritated at the lie, ‘– that we’d gone somewhere, and that the key wouldn’t be enough to get us back. And I recall Solace mentioning that a cat was there the first time she ever met Grief, too. Tell us the truth, Duchess. What are you?’
There was a pause. Duchess lashed her tail, clearly annoyed. For all she’d sworn Solace to secrecy about her true relationship with the prophecy, she’d done precious little to conceal her own knowledge of events. Rather, she’d flaunted it. As though she deemed them too stupid to work out the obvious, or simply trusted that their perception of her as a weird cat-creature would remove any curiosity about her words and actions. Whatever the cause, she’d ceased fooling Evan the instant she’d saved them from Mikhail.
As Duchess watched them with pale, slit-pupiled eyes, Solace realised just how little she really knew about her strange guardian. If it hadn’t been for Sharpsoft’s confirmation that Duchess had known her parents, she’d be a lot more worried – but then, she remembered, her friends didn’t know about that, either.
Manx translated in a rush of breath. All eyes flickered from Evan to Solace to Duchess and back again.
‘But we found you,’ Electra said, confused. ‘In the alley, when we were looking for a place to stay. You showed us that house, and then the Bloodkin –’
The silence that followed was icy.
‘Do you mean,’ said Paige, as though she couldn’t quite believe it, ‘that you led us into that trap on purpose?’
Again, Manx acted as relay. Paige’s gaze whipped to Solace. ‘And you knew about this?’
‘Yes. I mean, not at the time, though. Later.’ She was too tired to be outraged and too weary for guilt or apology. ‘I only figured it out at the house. Duchess was meant to bring us there once we’d met the Bloodkin. She told me not to say anything. I’m so sick of secrets.’ She rested her head on her knees.
‘What about Sharpsoft?’ asked Evan, getting in over the top of Laine and Electra. ‘Is he a guardian like you, too? Or has he gone over to Sanguisidera?’
For the longest moment, Duchess simply stared at him.
And before Manx had even finished translating, the little cat vanished in a flash of green light.
As one, they stared at the space where Duchess had been.
‘Well!’ said Paige, breaking the silence. ‘That was illuminating. Or, like, not.’
‘Yes.’ Manx ran his tongue over his teeth. ‘Weird.’
‘You totally made her vanish, Ev,’ Jess said accusingly. ‘Way to deprive the rest of us of question time.’
‘I didn’t!’ Evan crossed his arms. ‘She was just being, you know, prickly. And hiding things from us.’
His gaze moved to Solace. She still couldn’t meet it. Instead, she opened her mouth to speak, but found herself yawning. They’d begun the day hungover, and a lot had happened since.
‘I think,’ she said, surprising herself, ‘that I might go lie down for a bit. If no one minds.’
‘Be my guest,’ said Electra, nodding towards the rooms.
‘Not a bad idea, actually.’ Jess stretched like a leopard. ‘Even bold adventurers need naps.’
‘A noble sentiment,’ Solace mumbled. Tiredness fell on her like a wave. With leaden eyes, she stumbled into her Rookery room, undressing on autopilot. Her last thought as she climbed into bed, muzzy and incoherent, was of Glide. I hope he heals. I hope he deserves to heal.
She was asleep in moments.
14
Moral High Ground
‘You awake?’
‘Mm?’ Solace swam towards consciousness through a thick, dark sea of sleep. Someone was sitting on the edge of her bed, one hand shaking her shoulder. Groggily, she debated whether this was significant, and overwhelmingly decided not. Sleep is always better.
More shaking, insistent and unwelcome. Solace groaned.
‘Go ’way.’
‘Come on, Lacey. I need to talk to you.’
It was Evan. Solace blinked. Her eyelids felt stiff and heavy. Clutching the doona to her chin, she stared at the empath through the grey-black light and wished like hell she hadn’t undressed before getting into bed. Embarrassment warred with irritation. Irritation won.
‘Dammit, Evan!’
‘Shh!’ Frowning, he waved a hand at her. ‘Keep your voice down! The others aren’t awake, and they don’t need to be.’
‘And I drew the short straw why?’
‘Because you’re the only one I can talk to about this. In a good way,’ he added quickly, seeing her expression. ‘Look, it’s about Laine, so I can’t go to her. Manx would never let me hear the end of it. Jess would kill me for not having said anything already, Electra would be honour-bound to tell Jess, and Paige and Harper are still being weird about pretty much everything. Which leaves you.’
Solace groaned. ‘You really know how to flatter a girl, you know that?’
‘Hey, you should be flattered. I’m saying you’re trustworthy. Also, that you won’t laugh.’ He gulped. ‘Please don’t laugh. Not that it’s even funny – but just don’t, okay?’
‘I won’t.’ Surprised, Solace forgot her embarrassment enough to sit up straight, keeping the doona pulled tight to her collarbone. Even in the darkness, she could see her friend was uneasy. ‘What is it?’
Resettling himself on the bedside, Evan exhaled and looked away.
‘I sle
pt with Laine, back at the house. After Duchess rescued us.’
Whatever she’d been expecting, that wasn’t it. Solace made a choking noise.
‘You what?’
‘You said you wouldn’t laugh!’
‘I’m not laughing! This isn’t laughter! This is shock. And under the circumstances, I’d say it constitutes a reasonable reaction!’
Evan jerked his head in probable assent. ‘It was just, I mean – that whole dungeon thing was so crazy. She’s psychic, I’m empathic, we were exhausted and horny and we shared a room – it just sort of happened. A random natural occurrence.’
‘What, like rains of fish or spontaneous combustion?’ Solace flung up her hands, felt the doona slip and grabbed it just in time, blushing furiously. It was a measure of how distracted Evan was that he didn’t so much as raise an eyebrow. Pulling her knees up, she re-wrapped herself carefully. ‘Look, if you want advice, you’ve come to the wrong person. Remember that whole I’ve-only-been-kissed-by-two-people-and-they’re-both-murderers thing? My lack of a functional love life is way more screwed up than yours. Which is saying something.’
Evan gave a choked grunt. ‘I think you just insulted yourself more than you insulted me. So, thanks?’
‘Hah.’ Solace scrunched her toes. ‘Seriously, Evan. Why are you telling me this?’
‘Because I had to tell someone. And I trust you.’ He sighed, running a hand through his hair. ‘And because of what’s been, you know. Happening. Between us. With the bond.’
She felt her pulse twitch. ‘Oh. I … thanks, then.’
‘It’s just, we don’t know how this works, and I didn’t think you’d want to find out that way. Like I’d been keeping it secret on purpose.’ He paused. ‘Which, well, I have been. But you know what I mean.’ He dropped his gaze. ‘There’s something else, too. Even before the vision, my Trick’s been getting stronger, the past day or so.’
‘Since we came to the Rookery?’
‘Not quite.’
He stared at her. Solace was puzzled. Then she blinked.
‘You mean since you slept with –’
‘Yes.’
‘Oh.’
‘And now,’ said Evan, his tone becoming agitated, ‘it’s like, everywhere I walk, there’s this soup of emotion, this mindscent fog, and I can’t tamp it down or shut it off, right? And sometimes it’s bearable – I mean, you’re fine, you don’t bother me even with the bond, and some of the others can be okay – but I’m pretty much always aware of Laine. And it’s not like I get coherent thoughts from her, but what she feels that doesn’t have to do with Paige and Harper is always directed at me, about me, only I don’t –’
‘She likes you.’ Solace spoke softly, cutting him off. All at once, Laine’s recent behaviour towards her slotted into place. She thinks I’ve been stealing him. A strange jolt went through her at the thought: a painful sensation, but thrilling enough to bring on a fresh wave of guilt. ‘Evan, you slept with her. That means something.’
‘It doesn’t have to.’
Solace shook her head. ‘But it can. And to Laine, it obviously does. Whatever you did – I mean, mentally, when you were together, it’s changed your Trick. It was strong enough to do that. Why couldn’t it change her, too?’ She leaned back. ‘Have you talked about it? Spoken to her at all?’
‘No.’ He said the word grudgingly. ‘And you’re right. I should, especially with her being caught up in Paige and Harper’s mess. It’s just, I can’t. I just can’t. I don’t know what to say, and she’s psychic. If I start thinking about what happened, she’ll hear it, only neither of us will speak. But sooner or later we’ll have to do something, only it won’t fix anything, and then we’ll keep on just like we are now, with the hearing and the knowing and the silence, except worse. It’ll be less fun than a nail in an icy-pole and I just. Can’t. Do it.’
The words slipped out like helium from a balloon until he sat back, utterly deflated. Solace didn’t know whether to laugh, hit him or ask for a translation. Instead, she blurted out the first thing that came to mind.
‘You’re an idiot.’
‘Gee, thanks, that’s so helpful.’ Evan made an angry noise. ‘What, you think I’m happy about this?’
‘No, I think you’re being defeatist and stubborn. You’ve already decided it’s going to go wrong, but you’re still asking for help, which means you want someone to give you a magic cure-all. But there’s not an easy solution, Ev. And it’s not going to go away by itself. If it’s bad enough that you’re waking me up in the middle of the night to angst about it, imagine how much worse it’ll get! Only you’re not going to do anything, because it’s all too hard. Which makes you an idiot.’
Solace felt sure she’d overstepped a boundary. Evan was staring at her with a commingled expression of outrage and hopelessness. Her heart thundered in her chest. Who was she to chastise anybody about keeping secrets or failing to act on them? She opened her mouth to apologise, but Evan surprised her and chuckled.
‘You called me Ev,’ he said, with a rueful grin. ‘Only Jess does that.’
Solace smiled in turn. ‘Hey, you keep calling me Lacey. Nobody does that.’ And yet the fact that he did – that only he did – was enough to shiver her.
‘You both give good advice, too,’ Evan went on. ‘When I bother to ask for it. Or when I need it. Or when the Earth rotates around the sun.’
‘I’ll take that as a good thing.’
‘And I’ll take your advice.’ He closed his eyes. ‘Or at least, I’ll try to. I’m a lot of things, but brave isn’t one of them.’
‘How so? You fought Mikhail with me.’ You held me back from Glide, she wanted to say, but the words stuck in her throat.
‘That was different. Besides, it’s not like I actually helped.’
‘What, and I was a force to be reckoned with? The point is that you stepped up.’
Evan rubbed a hand along his jaw. To Solace’s surprise, it was covered in a light stubble. Of course he must shave; she’d just never noticed before. ‘Maybe I did. But it was still different.’
‘How?’
‘I don’t know,’ he said. ‘You make it different.’
Solace stared at him. ‘What’s that supposed to mean?’
Evan blinked. ‘That you’re different. In a good way.’
‘Why, though?’
He waved a hand at the surrounding darkness. ‘Because if it wasn’t for you, I’d be getting drunk in the Gadfly right about now. So would the others. None of us would have any idea about Sanguisidera, or the Rookery, or Starveldt. None of us would ever leave Earth. And one day, we’d grow up. We’d get sick of living the way we do, rejoin the world or wander off, and that would be it. All this craziness right under our feet, and we only ever skimmed it. Maybe we’d be safer. But I don’t think we’d be happier, or better people. You’ve given us purpose.’ He laughed awkwardly. ‘Even though we still haven’t figured out what it is. But it’s more than most people get. More than I’d ever hoped for.’
He fell silent. Solace felt herself blush anew, uncertain how to react. She shifted under the blankets, and was struck by the startling realisation that she was talking to Evan, in bed, about relationships, while naked. It was a bit like juggling: she’d been fine while everything was in motion, but thinking about the mechanics of it had stalled the process. She struggled for something to say, but before she could get the words out, Evan caught up with what was bothering her, eyes widening as he belatedly noticed her exposed shoulders.
‘Not that it’s relevant, but are you naked under there?’
Solace felt panic rising in her stomach. ‘Is that a problem?’
‘No! No problem!’ Evan leapt up so quickly that he tripped on the edge of the doona, pulling enough of it with him that Solace’s calves were bared. She shrieked with embarrassment, leaning forward to cover herself at the same time Evan did. Their skulls collided with a painful thwack, causing Evan to fall sideways and Solace to reflexively clutch
her head, dropping the doona she’d been holding to her chest.
‘Sorry!’ Evan yelped, grabbing the end of the bed to lever himself upright, ‘I didn’t –’
Evan stared, confronted by the sight of Solace’s naked torso. Solace made a strangled noise and tried to pull the doona back up, only to find that it wouldn’t reach: Evan had managed to pin too much of it at his end. Frantic, she covered her breasts with one arm while tugging at the covers, trying desperately to recover some semblance of dignity.
‘Evan, get up! You’re lying on it!’
He gawked at her. ‘What? Lying on what?’
‘Move!’
‘What’s going on?’
It was Jess’s voice.
The door opened. The lights flicked on, revealing Jess and Laine, looking sleepy and irritated. Solace froze in mid yank, watching with sick horror as Jess’s expression turned to one of delighted disbelief and Laine’s complexion grew ashen with shock. For a moment, no one so much as moved. Then Evan lurched up into the centre of the room, freeing the trapped doona. At the release of tension, Solace fell back with a rush of breath and smacked her head on the bedstead. Fighting the temptation to hide under the blankets, she settled for cover from the neck down.
Kill me. Her embarrassment was absolute. Dear sweet merciful universe, kill me now.
If the ninth circle of hell could be said to contain its own private ring of near-infinite demi-hells, then Evan was in the lowest and worst of these. As Jess clapped a hand to her mouth and smothered laughter, he closed his eyes and mentally apologised to Solace, hoping she’d understand why he remained silent. Talking wouldn’t do any good, and neither would their innocence: Laine had walked in on them, and her roiling mindscent betrayed her reaction. What was he supposed to do? Tell the truth? Yeah, that’ll go down well. Psychic or not, Laine was still human, and no matter what truth she’d read or failed to read in their thoughts, the scenario had still wounded her. Anything he said now would only make matters worse. Just keep quiet. Don’t dig your own grave.
Behind him, he was aware of Solace vacillating between rage and humiliation. Selfishly, he hoped she settled on the latter, having no pressing desire to be beaten to a bloody pulp. Although I probably deserve it.