by Leia Stone
Tess and I talked for the next hour, which was the total allotted time we had together. She mainly talked about her new boy-toy Blake. I tried my best to dissuade her, but she said she’d be back no matter what. I knew that meant for more than me. She was still going to be a feeder. Dammit.
We also discussed my weird blood results. There was still no more word on the cryptic “not an ash” diagnosis and I had almost convinced myself that the vampire doctor was crazy. During my dinner with Lucas he had assured me that her family would be safe and free as soon as he knew she was keeping her end of the deal. He needed to make sure she kept her mouth shut about my Original father status. Not that it mattered. I apparently was the lamest descendent of an Original ever. No levitation here.
“Take care of yourself, Tess.” I was trying to hold back tears as we hugged again. The vampire escort was waiting not very patiently to take her out of the feeding room. “I’ll see you next week.”
Her voice was rough. “You better. If you die during the culling, I am going to burn the Hive to the ground – I swear on Grandma Joan’s grave.”
She’d loved her cow-wrestling, gun-toting gran. Joan had been a hoot for sure.
I chuckled. “I’ll be okay, I will survive.” I let some of my confidence seep out in those words, hoping like hell the last thing I said to my best friend wasn’t going to be a lie.
Later that night I sat on the bathroom counter putting on mascara as Jayden coached me on how to pencil my eyebrows.
“It’s the year of the brows,” Jayden was saying when a knock came on the door. Tonight was party time, when all of the culling participants forgot about their shitty lives and had fun. My bestie cracked a smile. “My surprise is here.”
I raised an eyebrow. Please be a gorgeous straight boy here to take advantage of me. Jayden returned with a bottle of homemade-looking liquor.
“Strong-ass vampire moonshine.” He held up the bottle and I grinned. Second best thing.
“Will it get the job done for a change?” Beside the blood-wine, almost nothing else even gave me a buzz.
“My guy says if we split the whole bottle we’ll be drunk for a few hours and it’ll wear off long before the culling. Everyone is drinking it tonight.”
“Your guy?” I raised an eyebrow.
He smiled, flashing his perfectly straight teeth. “One of Ryder’s enforcers. It’s only fun right now, but it looks like I landed me a sexy six.” He winked.
Well damn, even Jayden was getting some. Which was the best thing I could hear about my best friend.
I leapt off the counter, pulling my short black dress down to cover my ass. Tessa had snuck me some sexy clothes. I really wished she was here with us now.
Jayden poured two glasses and clinked it with mine. “To surviving the next week.”
I chugged the contents and erupted in a coughing fit. “Holy shit! I feel like I can breathe fire.”
Jayden laughed and we poured more.
An hour later I was feeling damn good. The buzz had hit me hard and the walls of Base Level were spinning a little. I was drunk for the first time in a year. Hip hop blasted out of the DJ booth and I danced, rubbing my butt all over Jayden. He laughed and spun me around. Then some hottie ash came up and put his hands around my waist, pressing me into him and grinning.
“Hey, beautiful,” he whispered. His hair was shaved close to his head. I think he was blond, and like all ash he was hot as hell. Of course I was looking at him with moonshine eyes, so he had extra hottie points. Was he in Ryder’s crew? He wasn’t a sexy six, but he might be in the extended group of enforcers. He did look familiar.
“Hey there,” I said as I danced up on him. Maybe he would be my special friend tonight. Might as well have some fun before dying tomorrow.
“Johnson, back off,” Ryder’s growly voice echoed behind me.
The ash, who had just placed his hands on my waist, went rigid and backed away, before turning tail and scurrying off.
I spun around, almost falling on my face, but managed to right myself at the last moment. Ryder was standing a few feet away, his expression unreadable.
“Uh-oh, you’re no fun,” I slurred.
Ryder narrowed his eyes as I continued to dance by myself, swiveling my hips and feeling the beat.
“You’re drunk,” he stated. “The males in here are like any other men. They will take advantage.”
I gave him what I hoped were bedroom eyes and danced closer. “Maybe I want to get taken advantage of,” I purred, and pressed myself into him.
He placed his hands on my hips and looked down on me. Was that a groan?
“Charlie… ” I could see something stirring in those silver and black eyes. “You have no idea how beautiful you are, do you?” His voice went so low I almost wasn’t sure I’d heard him right. Did Ryder just say I was beautiful? My Ryder? Try to kill me and push me away constantly Ryder? I swallowed hard, but before I could answer, he deposited me back a few feet. Okay, this was the Ryder I recognized, and I was sobering up quickly with him pulling out his usual bullshit.
“You’ve got issues,” I stated. The flirtation left me, and I was hit with this weird ache in my chest.
His face took on a haunted expression. “I just came to tell you that you were a top pick, and slated for the last round of the individual fights.”
Shit, he was here to give me some positive news, and I’d danced all up on him and practically thrown myself at him. Apparently moonshine made me drunk, slutty, and bitchy.
“Ryder…” I reached for his hand, but he turned and walked away. I remained where I was, half frozen on the dance floor, half wishing I was brave enough to run after him. My attention snagged on Jayden then. He was dancing with – holy shit, Oliver, the hot Latino sexy six. He really had scored one of the core group of enforcer hotties. The pair of them were watching me now, and that better not be pity I was seeing in their gazes.
I drifted closer. Ryder was gone from sight, but I still felt his presence out there. “What’s his problem?” I said too loudly. Oliver’s very dark eyes turned to the direction which Ryder had disappeared.
“Don’t stress on it, Charlie. But you might want to give that one up as a lost cause. He’s notoriously single, which is not a huge surprise after everything that happened.”
My stomach dropped. I knew from his hot and cold behavior that he had demons littering his past, and I wasn’t sure I was ready to know about them. Still, I had to ask. “What happened?” I was getting soberer by the second.
Oliver sighed and lowered his voice. I had to strain to hear it over the music. “I shouldn’t be telling you this, but you’re Jayden’s best friend, and I promised I’d look out for you. When the boss man first found out he was an ash, the night he turned he was strong. Too strong.”
My eyes widened as Jayden and I leaned in closer, so as not to miss a word. “He attacked and killed his fiancée before they could bring him in.”
Oh shit. That was not what I’d expected him to say. Each word hit me like a slap to the face. My emotions were a complete tangle, but my heart truly ached for the pain I knew Ryder would have experienced that day and probably every day since. He was clearly still beating himself up. He must have loved his fiancée more than anything.
I rubbed at my eyes a few times. Jayden was hovering close by as if ready to hug me if I needed it. I gave him a half smile. It was my best attempt.
“I might call it a night, guys. Big day tomorrow.” I was no longer in the mood to party, and the alcohol seemed to have dissipated inside of me.
I waved goodbye and left, hoping like hell a good night’s sleep would rid some of the terrible ache inside of me. Still, I preferred to know, no matter how painful. So much of Ryder’s behavior made sense now – his aloofness, the rigid way he controlled himself. I understood it too. If I had hurt or killed Tessa or my mom, I would never have forgiven myself either. Of course, with the culling tomorrow, the timing of finding out this secret was not the best. There
would be no true rest for me tonight.
Sure enough, that night I tossed and turned, dreaming of the culling, of blood and Ryder. By the time morning came, my head was heavy with the need for more sleep. As I pulled myself up, Jayden was sitting at the edge of his bed, staring at a blank wall.
What’s wrong?” I dragged myself off the bed, surprised that I didn’t feel hung over. Last night was intense.
“I’m slated to fight first.” His voice sounded hollow. Shit. Ryder had told me I was last. Good for me, bad for Jayden.
Pep talk time. I crossed our small room, standing before him. “You’re gay and black,” I announced.
He forced a grin. “How very observant of you, darling.”
I grasped both of his shoulders and made him look at me. “You’re the underdog. No one expects you to whip ass, which is why you will. I’ve seen you fight. I’m jealous of how strong and controlled your movements are. Show everyone just how deadly an ash you can be!”
Jayden grinned and stood, raising one fist above his head. “For black gay ash everywhere!” he declared, and we both laughed. But a lump had formed in my throat. I loved this guy, for reals. He was my family now too. And family don’t quit each other.
After getting ready and putting on my jumpsuit, I made my way with Jayden to the gym. As we neared I heard the rumbling of a crowd. Jayden looked nervously at me. Some of that blank stare was back on his face. I was pretty sure I was going to throw up. We took the side entrance and walked in through the locker room where Jayden’s coach was.
His coach greeted him. I was pretty sure his name was Bryan. “Hey, big guy, you ready to make me proud?”
On the bench next to him I saw a long-handled axe. The weapon was a mid-sized one, and would have been too heavy for me to use effectively.
Jayden gave a weak smile. “Is that my weapon?”
His trainer nodded. “You got picked for the bottom because it’s a popularity contest full of bribes and favoritism. Trust me, they have overlooked how strong you are. You will be fine.”
I cringed at the mention of bribes. I had no doubt Lucas probably paid a shitload of money to get me at the top of the fighting roster, but still, Jayden’s trainer’s confidence in him made me happy.
I forced down the burning in my chest as Jayden turned to face me, eyes full of emotion.
“If I die, you can have my Coach wallet and my fancy tweezers. Don’t let those eyebrows get too crazy.”
I chuckled, tears springing to my eyes as I pulled him in for an extended hug. “Don’t leave me,” I whispered. Seriously, I needed him.
He squeezed me back, then his trainer asked me to go so he could get him prepared. I left the gym and suddenly I knew that I couldn’t watch. There was no way in hell I could watch this fight. Not Jayden. I turned the corner to go to the cafeteria and slammed into Ryder. My breath whooshed out of me.
As he pulled back, his eyes ran over my face. He was doing that thing where he attempted to ferret out my secrets. Probably he was seeing quite clearly the anguish I was not hiding very well.
“You should watch the fights. It will help you learn the other ashes’ moves, and it will desensitize you a small amount to the killing.”
“Jayden’s fighting. I can’t … I will watch the others,” I mumbled, and my answer seemed to satisfy him. He nodded and turned to walk away towards the gym. I felt a need to say something more.
“Ryder, about last night … I’m sor—”
He cut me off. “It’s fine. You’re right, I have issues.” Without another word he stalked off.
I groaned and went in search of food. Blood hunger was not a good thing and I needed a major distraction from the fact that Jayden would be very shortly fighting for his life. I had every faith in my bestie, but that didn’t make the next few hours any easier.
Then next five days were the worst of my life. Ryder sat by my side and made me watch every fight. He was an expert at noting weaknesses, and he drilled it into me over and over. Of course, it was up to me to read the fighter once I was in the ring, to utilize any and all weaknesses. Twenty-five ash were dead. Each battle was a bloodbath of mammoth proportions, and sometimes as I sat there I wondered how the hell it could even be real. Though Ryder had been right about one thing: I was growing desensitized to the killing.
I mean, in the last fight, the middle-eastern-looking ash had torn out the spinal cord of his opponent – his mutha-freakin’ spinal cord – and I’d barely even flinched. I didn’t like the coldness which was starting to spread out from my chest, but I knew it was essential to me having the smallest chance of surviving. I just hoped when it was all over, if I survived, there would still be some of the old Charlie left inside.
Jayden, who had survived all his fights so far, was in the recovery wing, regrowing part of his calf muscle, and my first fight was in an hour. I forced myself to focus. I could do this. I was strong and smart and had boobs – surely boobs were a distraction I could use to my advantage in an all-male lineup.
After the spinal cord fight, I’d been escorted back into the locker room. I sat on the bench, my foot bouncing in a weird, agitated manner. I hadn’t told my mom or Tessa I was fighting today, skirting around it every time they asked. I couldn’t hear their goodbyes or any sappy shit. Even if that was unfair to them, I needed a clear head.
The door opened and I looked up to meet the eyes of my trainer. Ryder looked all kinds of badass and sexy today. His black-ribbed cotton shirt, tight across the biceps, did more than hint at the heavy muscle beneath. I stood and he crossed over to stand right beside me, dwarfing me as usual with his bulk and height. We clashed gazes. His eyes were a storm cloud of silver gray. I felt it then. The emotions from him were stronger than usual, and I somehow knew that If I died, Ryder would care.
I reached for my focus, starting to jump on the balls of my feet to keep my muscles warm, like he’d taught me.
He met my eyes and nodded. “Charlie.”
I paused mid-jump; a smile spread across my face. “You called me Charlie. What happened to number forty-six?”
He shrugged. “I figured I should probably be nice to you in case you die.”
I chuckled and smacked his tight bicep. He returned my smile but then his face became serious. “Your opponent is strong, but he fought yesterday, so he’s tired and still healing.”
My heart jackknifed in my chest at this news. Opponent. Right. I was going to have to kill a person today. Well, an ash really, but it was the same damn thing to me now.
I felt the blood drain from my face when he reached down and produced the weapon my opponent’s sponsor had chosen for me. It was a black case, which was open to reveal a set of five small throwing stars. I lifted my gaze to Ryder.
“Are you fucking kidding me? I couldn’t kill a cat with those.”
He grinned. “I know. That’s why I told Lucas to assign the sword to your opponent. I want you to steal it from him.”
My mouth dropped as the air wheezed out of me in a huff. That was either a brilliant plan or the stupidest thing I’d heard all week. So much of that relied on skills I probably didn’t possess yet. I just really hoped Ryder knew what he was doing, and that I didn’t let either of us down.
The next forty-five minutes passed in a blur as Ryder made me practice stealing a weapon from him. We ran through about ten different scenarios, depending on how my opponent reacted to our plan. I felt about twelve percent more confident than before, so I was still pretty much up shit creek sans paddle again.
I had about ten minutes of rest time before the buzzer sounded, then it was my turn in the arena. Ryder, gleaming with sweat, turned to face me. “Charlie…”
Charlie. The way he said my name this time … like there were true emotions there, a sense of reverence. He never usually spoke to me like that. I played with the hem of my shirt, unsure of what to do or say. I mean, I had a lot of things to say to him and I could be dead in the next few minutes, but I couldn’t find the right way to expre
ss all of my thoughts. Emotion overcame me and tears welled in my eyes. They weren’t tears of fear or pain though, they were angry tears. This wasn’t fair! We were just normal human kids who had free-lovin’ mothers and now we had to kill each other over it.
“This is bullshit!” I pretty much shouted.
Ryder’s hands snaked out and grabbed the sides of my face, cradling it as he brought me close to him, resting his forehead on mine. “Life isn’t fair, Charlie.” His breath tickled my nose; the delicious scents coming from him had me wanting to lean even closer, to touch my lips to his. Of course that was when he pulled away a little.
“I’ve seen a small fire smoldering inside of you since the day I brought you in. When those doors open, I need you to unleash that fire. Your opponent already has death on his hands. He won’t hesitate to do it again. You need to be ready, you need to fight to survive.”
His words roared through me like the fire he spoke of. Ryder had reminded me of the most important thing. It was simple math – the other ash or me. I nodded, relishing his warm hands on me. He left them there for one short moment and then pulled back quickly, his stoic façade falling back over his face. He tucked the throwing stars in my waist belt and opened the double doors.
“You can do this,” was all he said, before nudging me out and shutting the doors behind me.
And just like that, I was in the culling arena.
I forced down the burn of fear and bile as my eyes alighted on the spectators, their feet pounding on the bleachers above. A vampire crossed the floor toward me. He was wearing the official uniform of the judges, a flamboyant royal purple full-length silk robe, with checkering of black and white.
He checked me over to make sure I wasn’t holding any illegal weapons. I glanced across the room at my opponent, who was in the middle of the same checks, and was a little surprised to see it was one of the black-haired guys who had attacked Jayden and I outside that day. Some of my fear left, replaced by anger again. Bastard. Maybe this wouldn’t be as hard as I feared. After all, karma was a bitch. And so was Charlie when she was cornered.