by Leia Stone
A female waitress approached him but he waved her off, continuing to stare. Hot damn, was I sweating? This was intense. The song ended and Jayden flicked his eyes to Ryder and raised an eyebrow at me. I shrugged and left the stage with him. The typical thing to do would be to walk over to the hot guy that had been staring at you. But typical didn’t work for me, so I followed everyone back to the table, squeezing in next to Jayden. Kyle left us then and my gaze followed him as he approached Ryder. The head enforcer removed his eyes from me to give Kyle a bro hug.
I finally had a breather from the intensity that was Ryder, and a butt-load of air whooshed back into my lungs. It was like I couldn’t breathe when Ryder locked me in his gaze. The force was scorching, and my belly heated at the naughty thoughts running through my head.
Jayden fanned himself. “Woo it’s getting hot in here! What’s up with Mr. Tasty?”
Oliver smacked his arm. “Hey, I thought I was Mr. Tasty.”
I shrugged. “Maybe he’s drunk.”
A tall dark ash approached our table with a red drink and set it in front of me. “Hey, beautiful.”
Not interested, buddy.
I stood quickly. “Oh, I was just going to find the bathroom.” I walked away quickly, making a run for the girls’ bathroom.
I walked down the dimly lit hallway and shouldered the door, then stood in front of the mirror. I took a moment to stare at my reflection. As always, the first thing to capture my attention were my eyes. They were just so weird and it never got normal to see silver instead of my original brown – not to mention the way they swirled and held such an intense light. Just another thing which was gone from the old Charlie Bennett’s life.
I turned on the water and washed away some of the stickiness from my drink, all the time thinking of Ryder. What was up with him? Since the first day I met him, he’d been my knight in shining armor, stepping in and saving me. He’d saved me from hurting my mom, brought me into the Hive, trained me to survive. Why? Because it was his job? Or something more?
My body heated as I recalled drinking his blood. That had probably been the single most intense and confusing moment of my life. And I so wanted to do it again. I ran fingers through my hair, yanking at the tangles in frustration. I was so confused! I didn’t get confused about guys, I went for the one I wanted and didn’t have a problem.
Seriously, Charlie…
Was I really standing in the bathroom mooning over a guy? Okay, back to reality. Plan: get kissed senseless tonight by a really hot ash and forget Ryder. I’d give him no satisfaction in seeing the way he tied me up in knots. He was clearly still hung up on Molly, his fiancée, and I couldn’t compete with her. She would forever and always be the woman he lost. I had enough pride to know that I deserved better than that. I wouldn’t be second best, not even for Ryder.
Crossing the bathroom floor with quick even strides, I opened the door and ground to a halt, almost smashing into the very man who was dominating my thoughts. Ryder was leaning against the wall, one hand in his pocket, the other rubbing across his five o’ clock shadow. Sweet baby Jesus. All of my previous reasoning flew out the door as I was assaulted by all of his hotness.
“Dance with me.” He offered his hand.
Wait, what? Just as I had made the decision to give the chase a rest, he was stepping in. Not to mention that I had asked him to dance before and still hadn’t washed off the sting of that rejection. I decided to give him a taste of his own medicine.
“I shouldn’t.” I shrugged, tossing his own words back at him and walking right past him.
I felt a strong hand on my waist. He stopped me with ease, then spun me around to look down at me. I wasn’t a tiny female, just average height with a slim build, but Ryder made me feel downright delicate with all of his power surrounding me.
“I wasn’t asking.” And there it was again, that sexual tension between Ryder and I. It was tangible.
I was just about to shake my head, but before I could he slowly lifted his other hand and gripped me gently behind my neck. Our eyes were locked in a stare that held more passion than I’d felt in my entire lousy sex life.
Some sort of fire took over, starting low in my belly and spreading like a forest fire that just had its first taste of fuel. I stood on my tiptoes, wanting to be closer, needing to feel our bodies pressed together. He’d held me at arm’s length for so long, keeping it just enforcer and ash, but those walls were down. Something had shifted between us. I could feel his breath on my face. We were no more than an inch apart now. Ryder had to lower his head to reach my level, even when I was standing on my toes.
I hadn’t actually been sure he was going to kiss me, but my worries were finally unfounded. His soft lips descended to press on mine. The first touch was gentle, barely the brush of our mouths together, but as I fell further into him, his breath hitched and his hands came around my waist. This movement brought our hips together, and just like that my body was plastered to his. He took control then, opening his mouth and deepening the kiss, demanding more, his teeth nipping at me as he sought entry between my lips. I could deny him nothing; the taste was intoxicating and I wanted more.
I moaned softly as our tongues slowly explored each other. God damn the boy could kiss. The gentle play started to ease as hormones took over. My body was humming now and I had the strangest urge to climb up onto Ryder. I wanted more. I wanted to be closer to him. As if he’d read my thoughts, he grabbed my butt and hoisted me up with one hand. My body knew what to do then, and as I wrapped my legs around him, crossing my ankles behind, this position felt like home. He turned around and pressed me back up against the wall, our mouths still locked, kissing me like I was the only woman in the world. Like he needed me to survive. Like I was everything.
“Ryder!” Kyle broke through my bliss. Ryder didn’t falter, although he did pull those lips away from me as he turned to his best friend. Through my hazy lust vision, I noticed that the other enforcer looked stressed. His hair was even messier than usual.
“There’s been a mass illegal outbreak and hostage situation involving the Quorum in Seattle. Helicopter is waiting.” Kyle had to shout to be heard over the music. I was still fuzzy from the most amazing kiss of my life, but what he said sounded pretty darn serious.
Ryder looked down at me, regret and so many more things in those flashing silver eyes. “Charlie … damn, I have to go.” He lowered me gently to the ground. My feet had barely hit the floor before he was gone, Kyle close behind.
I exhaled a shaky breath, leaning against the wall and giving my legs a chance to regain some feeling. Ryder had kissed me … and then run off in the line of duty. Well, it wasn’t exactly how I’d imagined ending that kiss – was kind of hoping we’d make it back to my bedroom for a heavy make-out session, but … I guess I had to take it.
I had planned on being kissed by a hot ash tonight, and there was no denying that was exactly what had happened.
Chapter 9
The next three days were among the worst of my life.
Dear Men everywhere, the absolute worst thing in the world you can do is kiss a woman like you haven’t kissed in years and then run off like your ass is on fire and don’t contact her. Go screw yourself. With love, Charlie.
Jayden was allowing me to mope around, but I knew he was sick of my shit. Frankly, I was sick of my own shit too. I had all but convinced myself early on that night at karaoke that I was okay without Ryder, that I deserved better … and then he kissed me – with a skill that should be banned, as it was most definitely some sort of weapon. That kiss had blown my previous pep talk straight out the window and I had done nothing since he left than bitch and whine, take phone calls, whine some more, jog, more whining, and think about that damn sexy man. Jayden had all but slapped me up the side of the head today and told me that Oliver had emailed him and the ash were due back tonight.
Yep, freakin’ Jayden got an email and I got nothing. I was seriously going to kick Ryder in the teeth when he finally
got back here.
It was time for my feeding, and I headed there at the pace of an elderly cripple. I just couldn’t find the joy in bottled blood any longer. It was bland and cold. I was really starting to hate that I’d fed off a living being. It was too hard to go back. Everything felt too hard. Still, at least I now had the answer to what happened when an ash bit another ash. The blood wasn’t as sustaining in the long term as bottled blood, which was probably why we generally didn’t feed from each other. But with Ryder, that hadn’t seemed to matter. It was perfect.
I finally dragged myself to floor eleven, striding past the ash on the desk and grabbing my usual bottles of blood. Slipping into my cubicle, I almost shrieked as a familiar blond head of hair sprang into my vision.
“Tess!” I forced myself not to bowl her over in my enthusiasm. This was not a scheduled visit but she must have known how badly I needed her. We were totally due some girl talk.
In my distracted state, it took me longer than usual to notice how glammed-up my best friend was. She had always dressed nicely. Her mother’s family had more than enough money to indulge her sense of fashion, but this was a whole other level. Her icy blue dress was skin-tight and clearly designer. Its thin straps barely held her boobs in, and there were these gold drapings of chain crisscrossing over the backless part. Gold, which looked real. You could always tell that cheesy yellow from the true golden color of the real stuff. Real freakin’ gold on her dress! Her boots were thigh-highs, and looked to be made from the skin of a seal or something, soft and rich. What the hell? This was Tess Couture Barbie.
We stared for a few more moments. I was trying to wrap my head around this new Tess. Even her makeup was different, heavy but tasteful, and her hair was tightly pulled against her head. Which she usually hated.
“You look different,” I finally said, hoping she would start bouncing around in her usual manner. It hadn’t really been that long since I’d seen her. What had changed?
Some of my icy fear dissipated as a smile crossed her lips; the ghost of my best friend was still there. “I’ve missed you, bitch.” A trickle of relief followed, and I took the opportunity to cross the room and throw my arms around her.
“I’ve missed you too,” I said, before pulling back from her. “What’s up with all the Hollywood bling-bling? You going out after this? Paris fashion week?”
We sat then. I chugged into the first bottle of blood, which slightly eased the ache in my stomach.
“No, Blake owns a design house. He’d been helping me out. Styling me so I fit in more.”
My face fell. It hit me then what this was all about. Blake wanted to ask permission to turn Tessa. He’d said so the last time I talked to him, and he was trying to slowly work her into Hive society before that. Very few humans were allowed to become vampires. Firstly, the human government took any forced infection seriously, and no one wanted scrutiny from them. And secondly, Hives across the world were very limited in space.
I wanted to lean forward, grab her hands, and start begging her to not be so stupid, to not throw her life away on a dude that she had just met. Blake seemed like a pretty good guy, but he was still a vampire. Just like me and Ryder were still ash. None of us could be trusted. None of us were human any longer, and I wasn’t sure about the other two, but I’d have given anything to have my old life back. I missed my mom. I missed school. I missed the normalcy.
But there was no going back for me. It was too late. Tessa, on the other hand, she was choosing this and I wasn’t sure I could sit back and let that happen. I wrenched the bottle from my fangs, throwing it into the trash. “I am begging you not to do this, Tessa. Think about your family. Think about everything you will be giving up. This is not the glamorous life you believe. And you will never be able to have kids.”
My eyelashes fluttered for a moment as a heavy weight descended in my chest. “I can never have kids,” I said with barely a whisper. “This is not a gift, it’s a fucking curse.”
And with those last words I tore out of the room and left my wide-eyed, slack-jawed friend sitting there. I was so all over the place. In all honesty, despite my words to Tessa, I didn’t actually hate my life here that much. But it wasn’t a choice I’d have made either. I wanted to scare her, make her question this thing with Blake. I wasn’t sure it was enough, I knew how stubborn she was. Maybe I needed to pay a visit to Blake, or even Lucas. My previous sponsor was the head of the sixth house, and that was Blake’s house.
Maybe he could have a word with him. I wasn’t sure how much control the heads of the houses had over their members. The heads were the Quorum leaders of course, and as a group they were scary, but they didn’t seem to do much individual day to day monitoring of anything. I had never even officially met the head of the fourth house, even though I was in that branch. Which led me to believe that they were always off doing other things. The rules of the Hive were basically enforced by Ryder and his men. Despite the fact that vampires thought of themselves as superior, they seemed to do jack all in regards to the heavy lifting.
I often wondered why they gave so much power to the very race which might one day band together and rise up against them. It hadn’t happened yet, but one day the ash would revolt. The culling was barbaric, and I wasn’t sure I could be in the Hive for the next one. I still, on occasion, had nightmares thinking of the men I’d killed.
I didn’t know where Lucas was, but I figured the best place to start would be his penthouse. I practically ran my ass through the Hive, up the elevator, and out onto level fifty. I didn’t pause before I reached his suite and started slamming my fist repeatedly against the white door.
“Lucas!” Patience was not my strongest suit right now. I was panicking, and this made me do stupid shit.
There was no answer and I could hear nothing on the other side. He wasn’t here. Dammit! I’d have to come back later. I couldn’t hang around now, I was due for my shift in the call center. At least the enforcers should be back. Maybe I’d work off some of this frustration by kicking the shit out of kiss-me-and-not-call-for-three-days Ryder. Yes, I decided, as I turned away from Lucas’ suite, that sounded like a perfect plan.
There were two ash in the room when I entered ten minutes later, neither of them enforcers, both lowly shit-kickers like me. I so badly wanted to be an enforcer. It was unfair they were out there doing things and I was stuck here taking calls. Ninety percent of which were false alarms. Their shift was over, so they left without a word. I was still getting plenty of extra looks, and more than a few had approached me about spending some quality time with them, but these two were professional. They did their job and barely talked to me. Which was how I liked it.
I settled back into my padded, high-backed chair. For some reason, even though it was generally a two person shift, I was always in here alone. Or with one of the sexy six or the extended group of enforcers.
Speaking of, they should have been back by now. I swiveled in the chair, one eye on the door at all times. I’d like to think I wasn’t so much acting like a crazy girlfriend as much as I was acting like a concerned friend. But, in reality I was dying to see Ryder. For so many reasons. But mostly to stare into those silver and black eyes for the first time since “the kiss” and see if the same heavy emotions still laced them. I needed to see if he had missed me too.
In my musing, I didn’t hear the scuff of boots, and by the time my head shot up, Kyle was in the doorway. I jumped to my feet, taking the two steps across the room to stand right before him.
“Hey…” I sounded a little breathless, and knew I needed to try and find some cool again. I was officially screwed right now, and my feels were leaking all over the place. “How was the call out?”
Details on their operation were limited and had seemed a little sketchy. Oliver had told Jayden that the Hive in Seattle had had some sort of internal problem which required specialist treatment. And Ryder and his men were the best enforcers in America, so they’d had to step in. It just seemed awfully stra
nge that no one else had heard of any mass craziness in other Hives. To take away all of our top enforcers, it should have been huge enough to make the gossip-vine light up. They’d left us virtually unprotected. But clearly I was just a worrier, because they were back now and nothing terrible had happened while they were gone.
“Hey, Charlie bear,” Kyle said with a massive grin. He leaned forward and swept me into a hug. “Good to see you holding this place together while we were gone.” I hadn’t expected the show of affection from him. I think I had officially been accepted into the enforcer inner circle.
Yes!
I couldn’t hold back the grin. Ryder’s best friend was such a relaxed dude. The only time I’d seen him lose his cool was in regards to Ryder. Their history clearly had some pain buried deep down.
“It’s been quiet here. What was the big deal in Seattle?”
Kyle, who was dressed in the usual black on black, patted me on the head as he strode in and dropped heavily into the chair I hadn’t been using before. “Seattle was a pain in my ass. Their culling ash rioted and joined forces to hold the Quorum hostage. They killed their lead enforcer. Bloody mess. We’re called in for anything to do with Quorum members. By the time we got there, it had died down a bit. Only one member was in any danger, and that was mild at best. We had to stay for a few days of the culling to make sure no trouble stirred up again, but it was all calm. Ryder and I barely slept. Spent nearly the entire time throwing ash bitches in their version of the pit.”
He lifted his long legs and dropped heavy boots onto the bench, stretching back in his chair.
“We were supposed to be there for another day. Their Quorum had some sort of fancy-ass dinner for us, but Ryder was at the end of his patience with politics. He sent us back behind their backs, and stuck around just long enough to ream them a new one for wasting our time. He should be back tonight.”
I sort of knew I wasn’t hiding my interest in Ryder, even though I hadn’t said anything specific. Kyle wasn’t stupid, and he’d seen our heavy make-out session. I worked hard to conceal my disappointment that he wasn’t back yet, but clearly failed at that task.