by Carol Rivers
‘Now you see, I have upset you,’ Lily replied exasperatedly. ‘I knew I would if I said the truth.’
‘No you ain’t.’
‘I can’t help feeling this way,’ Lily persevered, desperate to make Hattie understand.
‘No, I can see that now.’
‘Don’t let’s argue again, Hat.’
‘I don’t intend to,’ said Hattie taking Lily’s arm. ‘I’ve had more than my fair share of disagreements lately. You’ve touched on something that makes me realize what a cow I can be at times. Come on, let’s go into the café, and I’ll tell you all about it.’
They sat in the café with coffee and scones, but it was Lily who was doing the talking. She explained how Pedro had told her that Charles had called by the stall on her birthday and how she had waited, day after day, for him to return. And how, when she’d almost given up hope, he’d suddenly appeared and told her he had something important to ask her.
‘So I arranged to meet him on the corner of Westferry Road,’ she continued as Hattie sat listening attentively. ‘I didn’t want Mum and Dad to see me getting into his car as I know it would have caused trouble. It wasn’t only you who disapproved of him, Hat, it’s me mum and dad too.’
‘So you went round to his house on your own?’
‘I just knew he wouldn’t do anything to upset me, as he’s such a gentleman.’
Hattie smiled. ‘And you was curious.’
‘Of course I was.’
‘Describe his house again for me, Lil,’ Hattie said with enthusiasm. ‘I never paid attention before but now I am.’
Grateful for the opportunity of reliving the experience, Lily began from when she first went with Ben. She explained how Charles’ house had seemed a little neglected as they’d been shown round, but on her second visit, how it looked quite the worse for wear, with even dirty crockery left in the drawing room. Hattie’s eyes grew wider and wider as Lily described how Annie had begun to steal after Delia’s death and how Charles’ business and reputation depended on the utmost discretion.
‘And so,’ Lily said as she took a deep breath, ‘when Annie disappeared, he thought of me as a suitable replacement and came by the stall to offer me her job.’
Hattie’s eyebrows shot up. ‘You mean, he wants you as a maid?’
‘No, more like a housekeeper,’ Lily explained, deciding not to add that Charles had also asked her to perform some business duties, as this sounded rather grand.
‘Is there other staff there?’
‘He said he would take on a scullery maid to do the cleaning and lighting of fires.’
‘I hope he didn’t want you as a skivvy.’
Lily smiled. ‘Well, it’s beside the point now, as I said no.’
‘You did?’ Hattie frowned again. ‘I would have thought you’d have jumped at the chance.’
‘Half of me wanted to, but the other half was afraid to make any changes.’
Hattie turned her cup round thoughtfully. ‘Are you sorry now that you said no?’
Lily hesitated. ‘I sometimes think of how it might have been.’
‘And all this time I didn’t know.’
‘So you see, Hat, I do understand how you’re feeling. But at least you’ve got Reube and that’s the most important thing.’
Hattie looked under her lashes. ‘I don’t know about that.’
‘You love Reube and he loves you.’
Her friend now had a faraway look in her eyes. ‘You know, Lil, you’ll be surprised at this but I’ve never thought about marriage that much as I knew Reube and me was always going to be together. It was just a question of time. And believe it or not, I never fancied another boy anyway. No one at school or the club, had what Reube had. See, after his dad died, his future was mapped out at the market and looking after his mum and brother. I always admired Reube for getting on with it, doing what his old man would have wanted. That was the attraction, knowing Reube was my rock, reliable, dependable, and even if he counted the pennies, I could forgive that, as he was always the man I was going to be with.’
‘Nothing’s happened to change that,’ Lily said quietly.
‘I thought I knew him so well,’ Hattie sighed, shaking her head as though she didn’t.
‘You do,’ Lily laughed but Hattie’s eyes narrowed.
‘Well, the truth is, Lil, we’ve broken up.’
Lily laughed again. ‘Stop kidding me.’
‘I’m not.’ Hattie’s expression was serious. ‘Reube said we wasn’t going out to buy the ring and this made me mad. I couldn’t keep me tongue still, could I? So we had this dirty great row that couldn’t have happened at a worse time. Reube was still furious about being chucked in that cell and when I complained about the ring, I suppose it was the last straw. You know what he called me?’
‘What?’ Lily murmured, almost afraid to hear the answer.
‘He said I was a spoilt kid. Told me I should grow up a bit before we got married.’
‘But everyone says things they don’t mean when they’re cross.’
‘He meant it all right.’
‘You’ve had words before and got over it,’ Lily was quick to point out.
‘Not like this. I told him that if he felt that way, the wedding was off. Course, I expected him to come round an hour later, cap in hand, like he usually does and we’d kiss and make up. But as I told you, this morning he went off without so much as a glance over at our house. It upset me so much I couldn’t concentrate on me work. I cut out a bit of pattern that I should have left in and all the way home on the bus, I kept thinking what am I gonna do without him?’
‘He’ll be round, just wait and see.’
‘What if he isn’t?’
‘Can’t see him staying away, Hat,’ Lily said, patting her friend’s hand. ‘Give it a week or two, and he’ll be breaking down your door with frustration.’
Hattie made an effort to smile. ‘I wish it was like the old days when we were—’ Hattie stopped and groaned. ‘Here I go again down memory lane. But I’m supposed to be turning over a new leaf, as I want you to be happy.’ She gave a quick laugh. ‘We’ve certainly drowned our sorrows today, ain’t we?’
As they walked home, the two girls talked together about old times. Lily felt certain it was only a lover’s tiff that was causing Hattie such heartache. Reube and Hattie were made for each other. But Lily was dismayed that Hattie seemed certain it was the end of the affair.
At last they turned the corner into Love Lane. They were still deep in conversation when Hattie stopped. ‘There’s a car outside your house, Lil.’
‘It’s Charles,’ Lily gasped as she saw the ruby red car in the road.
Hattie squeezed her arm. ‘What does he want?’
‘I don’t know.’
‘What are you going to do?’
Lily shrugged. ‘Go in, I suppose.’ Her legs had gone weak and wobbly.
In the soft evening light, as the sun slowly faded, Hattie said softly, ‘He still hasn’t given up, Lil.’
‘But I refused.’
‘He obviously hasn’t taken no for an answer.’ Hattie give her a little push. ‘Go on, this is a second chance. You’d better grab it whilst you can.’
Lily looked into Hattie’s eyes. They were soft and understanding. Lily hugged her and then slowly walked on. Suddenly her world felt alive and full of happiness again. She felt like clapping her hands and jumping for joy.
Chapter Thirteen
‘Oh, Lil, I’m glad you’re home.’ Her mother burst into tears.
‘What’s happened?’ Lily took her in her arms.
‘A lot’s happened since you went out.’
‘Is Charles here?’
Her mother nodded. ‘Look at me, I’m shaking.’
‘Come on,’ Lily said gently. ‘Let’s go and sit down.’
To Lily’s surprise the parlour was empty. Only the roaring fire crackled in the grate as Lily sat beside her mother and wondered where Charles was. What had gon
e on in her absence? Why was her mother so upset?
‘Give me a minute to get my breath,’ Josie said as she closed her eyes, then opened them, giving a deep sigh. ‘After you’d left, there was a knock at the door. A young boy stood there, about nine or ten and gave me a piece of paper. He said he’d come from the timber yard.’
Lily sat upright. All the happiness and excitement she had felt at seeing Charles’ car, suddenly evaporated. ‘Dad! It’s Dad, ain’t it?’
Josie nodded slowly, putting her hand on her heart. ‘The note was from Bob’s boss, Mr Drewitt, asking me to come as quickly as I could to the yard, where your dad had been taken ill.’
‘Oh, Mum, not again.’
‘I’m afraid so. But this time there was no one to bring him home, all the vans were out. How in heaven’s name me and your uncle would have got there – and brought your dad back – if Mr Grey hadn’t arrived, I don’t know.’
‘Charles took you to the yard?’
‘He pulled up in his car as the boy was leaving. I don’t mind telling you I was in a state of panic. Mr Grey asked what was wrong and I gave him the note. As calm as you like, he told me to get your uncle and he would take us straight down. I didn’t even stop to thank him, or ask why he’d come, I was so upset. And when we got there, you should have seen your father. He was white as a sheet and couldn’t speak properly for coughing. Mr Drewitt was very good and had done his best but I could see that a doctor was called for.’
‘Oh, Mum, what did you do?’ Lily felt terrible that she’d been away whilst all this had happened.
Josie dabbed at her eyes with her handkerchief. ‘It was Mr Grey who came to the rescue and suggested that we get your dad into the car and bring him home straight away so he could lie down and rest. He told me he would then go round for the doctor if I told him where the surgery was.’ Josie blew her nose noisily. ‘Lil, I only had the money you gave me for medicine, nothing put by for the doctor to call. I didn’t say anything then as I was too embarrassed, but your gentleman took it all out of me hands. After we got your dad upstairs, I tried to give Mr Grey your five bob, but he wouldn’t hear of it. He took it upon himself to pay for everything, only the best medicines that I couldn’t afford. And, in fact, Doctor Tapper said his bill is taken care of until your dad gets over this episode.’
Lily felt relief and yet full of shame that they had accepted Charles’ money, which must have been a considerable amount. What must he think of them? And how could they impose on his goodwill?
‘Where is Charles now?’ Lily asked.
‘He’s been sitting upstairs with your dad and uncle. Although now Noah has gone out into the back yard for a smoke.’
‘What did the doctor say about Dad’s cough?’
Josie twisted the hanky between her fingers. ‘He’s got a bronchial fever because his chest is so bad. He won’t be able to work for a while, but then that don’t come as a surprise. Mr Drewitt was kind enough but said your dad has been under the weather a lot. He said he’s a reliable worker, but not fit enough to move all that timber in the wind, rain and cold. It really is a younger man’s job. If he’s off again this week, I doubt whether Mr Drewitt will have him back.’
Lily knew then that he wouldn’t be returning to the timber yard as she saw the look of defeat in her mother’s eyes.
‘I should never have let him go to work today,’ Josie said hopelessly. ‘Made him stay home and rest . . . that’s what I should have done . . .’
What could she say to comfort her? Lily wondered. It was clear now that her father was incapable of performing any rigorous work and indeed, there seemed very little that he could do, unless he sat at an office desk, pushing a pen. But even if he was an educated man, those jobs weren’t available now. He had always lived by his physical abilities and would be broken in spirit if he was told he could never go back to doing a man’s job.
‘Don’t worry, we’ll get Dad better,’ Lily said, putting her arm around her mother.
‘I don’t know how we can.’
‘We will, somehow.’
‘Oh love,’ sighed Josie, ‘just when things seemed to be getting better, this happens. What are we going to do?’
Lily squeezed her mother’s hand. ‘We’ll think of something. Now you put on the kettle whilst I go upstairs to see Dad.’
Lily watched her walk dejectedly out to the kitchen, her shoulders drooping, head bowed. Why had this got to happen to such hard working and honest people? But it was no use railing at fate. Determinedly Lily squared her small shoulders and made her way upstairs.
‘Lily!’ Charles stood up as she came in. He had been sitting beside the big double bed in which her father lay.
‘Hello, Charles.’ Her voice quivered. She went to her father who had two bright patches of red on his cheeks. The rest of his skin was porcelain white. Lily’s heart felt like breaking as she saw him struggle to speak, then begin to cough.
She put her arms round him and helped him to sit up, banking the pillows behind him.
‘What an old fool I am,’ he whispered as he sank back, breathless and wheezing.
‘You can’t help being ill, Dad.’
‘Mr Grey has done a lot for me.’
She turned to Charles. ‘I don’t know how to thank you – again.’
‘No thanks are necessary, Lily.’
Lily noticed that the room smelt old and damp and she felt ashamed as she saw the threadbare cloth of her father’s pyjamas, the frayed collar and little darns that her mother had made. They were from a different world to Charles, yet he had helped them out of their troubles today.
‘Don’t try to speak, Dad,’ she said, as Bob Bright mumbled something then held a cloth to his mouth to hide the noise of his coughing. ‘You need plenty of rest now and you’ll soon be better.’
Very soon, his eyes closed as the fit of coughing subsided. She felt like trying to rouse him in case he never opened his eyes again, but then she managed to quell the moment of panic as Charles moved quietly beside her and whispered, ‘He’ll sleep now.’
‘Will he get better?’ she murmured, looking up at Charles as if he should know the answer.
‘I’m sure he will, in time. The doctor has given him something to make him more comfortable.’
Lily knew that they wouldn’t have been able to afford the treatment and the medicines had not Charles come today. She was very grateful, but also deeply ashamed of having to accept his charity.
Lily waited at the front door as Charles said goodbye to her mother and uncle. When he came out of the parlour, she said simply, ‘Thank you.’
‘I’m glad to have been of some help.’
‘I don’t know what Mum would have done if you hadn’t called by.’
‘It was fortuitous indeed.’
‘I intend to pay you back every penny, Charles.’
‘You may intend it, Lily, but I do not expect it.’
She felt humiliated by this sudden awareness of their poverty. Why did it seem like a disease that was even worse than a physical ailment? She couldn’t look into his eyes. And yet even as she stood there, a tiny flicker of hope burnt in her heart. Had he come to ask her again if she would work for him? This time, if he did, she knew without question that she would accept. Five guineas a week would solve all the problems that were beginning to drown them. She could do so much for her family as Charles’ housekeeper. As for her job at the market, well, it was a small sacrifice to make. And to learn a new skill, as Charles had said, would be reason enough for making such a change in her life.
‘Was there a reason you came today?’ she asked, her heart beginning to beat very fast as she looked hopefully into his beautiful dark eyes.
He nodded. ‘Yes, indeed. Two as a matter of fact.’
Lily felt every nerve in her body straining. Excitement and joy began to take hold of her as she gazed expectantly into his face.
‘Firstly, I wanted to return this.’ He reached into his pocket and held out his hand, in hi
s palm was a small fur brooch.
‘Hattie’s rabbit foot!’
‘I discovered it in the car.’
She took it. ‘I don’t even remember losing it.’
‘A rabbit’s foot is lucky, is it not?’
She smiled. ‘Yes, it’s supposed to be. Hattie bought it for me on my birthday.’
‘A perfect gift indeed.’
Lily clutched the soft fur in her hand. Her heart was beating so wildly she looked up and murmured, ‘And the second reason?’
He looked into her eyes, causing Lily to feel all the old feelings once more. ‘I’m leaving England on business this week.’ His gaze was penetrating. ‘This time it is for a number of months.’
Lily felt as though she had been dealt a physical blow. She clutched the rabbit’s foot as her knuckles turned white around it.
‘I wanted to say goodbye and to let you know . . . to tell you . . . should you call at Dewar Street in my absence . . . that I have filled Annie’s position.’
Lily swallowed. ‘You have?’
‘Yes, a pleasant enough young woman who comes with references. She is – trustworthy – and reliable.’ His voice seemed unsteady and she almost didn’t catch the words he said next. ‘But sadly, lacks all the qualities I saw in you, Lily, and I would have given the earth to see them flourish had you allowed it.’ Bending slowly he lifted her hand to place a kiss there, then he turned, stepped outside into the evening and was gone.
Chapter Fourteen
July 1934
Lily gazed at the reflection in the long mirror hanging on the fitting room wall. It was the end of a busy Saturday morning at Madame Nerys’. The staff had all gone home and outside the compartment, a dozen sewing machines sat idle, their covers over them. Roll upon roll of fabric hung from the shelves on big iron arms and on one of the tables were spread the cutter’s patterns. But Lily’s attention was not on these, but on her own reflection. It was a long time since she’d felt this way, feminine and attractive. The beautiful pink bridesmaid’s dress that Hattie had asked Madame Nerys’ permission to work on, in coordination with her wedding dress, looked to Lily like a swirl of ice cream. This was the last fitting before Hattie’s wedding the following week and Lily could only stare in wonder.