by Carol Rivers
‘Why’s that? They’re always over the chair for work. There’s a new boat coming in an’ all.’
Lily’s heart sank. He had forgotten the last four years and still thought he was on the boats. ‘You must have been dreaming,’ she told him.
‘It weren’t no dream.’
‘You’ve been sick,’ she explained gently. ‘This is the first time you’ve got up for days.’
He stopped as they entered the kitchen. It was as though he’d never seen the room before. His brow wrinkled under his shock of pure white hair. ‘I’m a bit muddled, ducks. What’s been wrong with me?’
‘You’ve had a fever.’ She wasn’t going to say any more as the doctor said it would take time before his memory came fully back.
‘Me mind is a bit of a blank. What day is it?’
‘Friday.’
‘Is it really? What month?’
‘It’s August. Now, come inside and I’ll make you a cup of tea.’
‘I could do with one.’
Lily felt her spirits rise. Even though he was finding it hard to remember, he didn’t seem upset. ‘Sit down at the table.’
He nodded and sat, putting his arms around himself as he started to shiver and shake. ‘Now you come to mention it, I don’t feel so good, gel. And me stomach has a touch of the gripes.’
‘Yes, but you’ll get over it.’ She put on the kettle. When would he remember what terrible things had happened to him? As she turned to look at him, his lined face was full of confusion, his eyes set deep in dark hollows. She knew that as the days wore on, events would come back to him that perhaps he would prefer not to remember.
It was late on Saturday night and Noah Kelly was making his niece some supper. The sandwich comprised two hefty slices of bread and a layer of dripping. She was getting thin. He would have to keep an eye on her. She had spent long hours nursing, determined to effect a recovery. Noah wasn’t so sure that in Bob’s case, there would ever be a full one. The crisis might be over, but he was still sick. Although he had dressed, he stayed in the bedroom, smoking and shaking. Even reading the newspaper was beyond him. Noah knew that his belly was aching for the laudanum. It would take many weeks before his stomach and bowels were right again.
‘This is for you, gel,’ he said as he entered the parlour. Lily was sitting by the window sewing a patch on her dad’s trousers. ‘You ain’t eaten much all day.’
She put down her work and laughed. ‘I can’t eat all that.’
‘Yes, you can.’
She took a small bite. ‘Have you looked in on Dad?’
‘Yes and he’s asleep, just as you should be.’
She nodded. ‘I’ll finish this first, then get me blankets out.’
‘You can’t sleep here on the couch for ever, gel.’
‘Mum needs a bed more than me.’
‘This house has got to get back to normal.’
She laughed again. ‘Oh, things ain’t so bad.’
‘I’ve been thinking.’
She looked up at him warily. ‘About what?’
‘How we’re going to manage,’ he said, indicating the hardly touched sandwich. ‘That money Ben gave you ain’t gonna last forever.’
‘I know. But we’ll manage.’
‘How?’ he said gently, wishing that he didn’t have to upset her, but he knew that what he was about to suggest would do just that.
‘I’ll get meself a job, of course.’
‘You can’t do everything. Besides which, you’ll need references, won’t you? Is the factory gonna give you them? That foreman was a cussed old blighter. He might not make it easy.’
‘I’ll cross the bridge when we come to it, Uncle Noah.’
‘We could go to the Welfare.’
‘What! Mum would never have that!’
‘She don’t have much choice. Your dad is ill. They’ll give us something, even if it’s only a pittance.’
Lily was shaking her head. ‘They’d give us a means test and we’ll have to sell every stick before they give us anything.’
‘It’s the only way, Lil. The Relieving Officer would let us keep the beds and a table. I know that ’cos I saw it often enough on me rounds. But the piano and Talking Machine will have to go, along with all the records.’
Her eyes suddenly were moist. ‘There must be another way.’
‘No, love, it’s the only way.’
Lily wiped her eyes. ‘Mum would never get over the shame.’
‘Bugger the shame,’ he said fiercely. ‘It’s food in the stomach that counts. We’ve never had to call on the Welfare before and what they give us will be barely enough to keep a cat alive. But at least we’ll have something.’
Lily stared down at the trousers in her lap. A tear dropped on to the cloth and Noah’s heart bled for his niece.
‘Now come on, Lil, your dad is going to get better and ain’t that a blessing? We’ve come through the worst.’
She looked up. ‘Have we?’
Noah knew that it was only words he was saying. They both knew that worse was on its way when they were means tested. The Relieving Officer selling all the household effects and poking his nose into every corner. It was the lowest you could sink. And even if they were given any money, it would be a frugal amount. But, Noah thought, it was their only choice now.
‘Listen,’ he said, taking her hand. ‘We’ve decided on our course of action and can pull together through this.’
‘But what about Mum?’
‘Leave her to me. Josie’s strong underneath. It’s you I’m worried about.’
‘I’m all right.’
‘It’s Sunday tomorrow. Young Ben is calling by. He can sit with your father whilst you go out for some air.’
‘I don’t know . . .’
‘Well, I do. I want to see a bit of colour in them cheeks.’
She nodded slowly. ‘I suppose I could.’
‘That’s settled then.’
He watched his niece carefully. The suggestion had been a good one. At last he had brought a light to her eyes. He must see to it that she got out more often. And as for the Welfare, he would not put Lily through the embarrassment of going up to the offices. He would take it on his own shoulders and go to the town hall next week to set things in motion.
Chapter Eighteen
Lily hurried along Westferry Road towards the Marsh Wall that bordered West India Docks. It was a balmy August morning, with a sun that was already shining brightly. She breathed in the early morning air and wondered if Charles would really meet her there. Her mind was full of worry at leaving Uncle Noah and her mother in charge of the escapee. Would Ben visit in her absence, as her uncle had said?
Lily quickened her steps. How long would she wait for Charles to arrive? She couldn’t be away too long. What would she tell him? The truth? What would he think of them if he knew that her father had frequented an opium den? Lily walked faster, the doubts and worries going round in her mind. This was supposed to be her special day.
Lily found herself breathing hard. She stopped to take a breath. Her thoughts went back to Charles. Was it better to turn round and go home? How could she see him like this?
She looked down at her thin summer’s dress. It was old and unfashionable; the heels on her shoes needed repairing. And she hadn’t had any time to wash her hair. It probably still smelt of paint. She knew she looked unattractive. Suddenly she thought of how he had last seen her, in her pink dress. So much had happened since Hattie and Reube had been married. Tonight the newlyweds returned. When would she see the new Mrs James next?
Lily didn’t see the large blue car coming towards her. She was deep in thought and jumped when the horn blew. The vehicle pulled in and a tall figure jumped out.
‘Oh, it’s you, Charles!’ was all she could find to say. ‘I was looking out for a red car.’
‘I changed it last year for this one.’
She saw this was even bigger and shinier, with two large lamps on the front. As always th
e sight of his handsome face, thick, dark hair and magnetic eyes made her heart race. This man had the effect of making all her problems seem distant. With his smile, he made her feel that life was full of excitement.
He glanced at his watch. ‘I waited at the crossroads, but thought something may have happened.’
‘I didn’t realize I was late.’
He smiled gently. ‘What matters is that I’ve found you.’
She felt suddenly elated when she heard those words. Did he mean them?
‘Is there something wrong?’ he asked gently.
‘No . . . it’s just that—’
‘You were having second thoughts about our meeting?’ he interrupted.
Her cheeks flushed guiltily. There was so much she couldn’t explain.
‘Lily, you are upset!’
She looked down and once again caught sight of the hem of her frock. The stitches had come out and it was dangling over her knee. Her shoes were rough and worn. She hadn’t had time to polish them. Tears sprang to her eyes as she stood there, trying to hide her emotion.
‘I . . . I don’t know where to begin.’
‘Then I have a suggestion. Instead of walking let me take you back to Dewar Street. We shall sit in the quiet and talk about old times. I think that would do very well for a start, don’t you?’
She nodded and he smiled, taking her arm and leading her towards the car.
She sank gratefully onto the leather seat. As he walked around to the driver’s side, a lump formed in her throat as she tried to swallow. She should be delighted that once again she was in his company.
But now all she could feel was confusion.
Lily sat in the very same watered pink silk chair that she had sat in on her first visit. Beside her was the small polished table that had been somewhat dusty. On it now stood a white china teapot, cup and saucer placed on a silver tray. The drawing room was unchanged, with the Indian rug spread luxuriously at her feet and the long thick curtains held back by their tassels. Number four Dewar Street was just as it was in her memory, its faded elegance seeming even more beautiful in reality.
Charles, who was dressed in a white shirt and dark flannels, sat on the other chair. He had told her that over the years he had travelled to different countries bringing back exotic items from all over the world for his wealthy customers. He had even been on a big game hunt in Africa and brought home the skin of a large man-eating tiger. Lily had listened with eagerness to his description of the Velte and the stunning African countryside and its people. In return she had told him about the last days at the market and how it had not been possible for Reube to keep her on. She described her job at the paint factory and Hattie and Reube’s brief separation four years ago.
‘Then true love found a way in the end,’ he smiled as he sat there, his dark eyes penetrating and alert.
Lily smiled and sipped her tea. ‘Being married was always what Hattie wanted.’
‘I’m very pleased that she did,’ he said quietly, ‘but for selfish reasons, I’m ashamed to say. The occasion gave me another chance to meet a long-missed friend.’
Lily realized he was talking about her! She felt her heart thump erratically inside her chest.
‘And what of your family?’ he asked then.
Lily averted her eyes.
But he nodded and sat back before she could reply, a knowing expression on his face. ‘So here we come to the root of the problem?’
Lily gazed into his beautiful eyes. What would he say if she told him the truth?
‘Lily, do you regard me as your friend?’ he asked after a long pause.
She smiled then and nodded.
‘A friend you could discuss any problem with?’
She replied without hesitation. ‘Yes, Charles, I do.’
‘In which case, as a friend, please tell me what is so disturbing you?’
If only she could! It would be such a relief. But would their friendship survive the truth that might reflect so badly on her family?
‘It’s Dad,’ she told him uncertainly. ‘As you know he was ill and couldn’t come to the wedding.’
‘Yes, indeed.’
‘When we got home he wasn’t in his bedroom. He’d just disappeared.’
Charles nodded encouragingly. ‘So where did he go?’
‘He went to . . . Limehouse,’ she stammered, ‘to the Chinese quarter.’ She paused, waiting for understanding to come into his eyes.
He lifted his hand to his chin. ‘Go on.’
‘When Dad lost his job at the timber yard four years ago, he just seemed to give up. He was too sick to find other work and nothing the doctor gave him seemed to help. So Uncle Noah gave him paregoric.’
‘Paregoric?’ He lifted one dark eyebrow. ‘An opiate? But used wisely, this can be beneficial.’
‘Yes, but he needed more,’ Lily tried to explain. ‘So he took laudanum.’
‘Laudanum,’ Charles breathed as he looked at her keenly. ‘Well, in many cases of sickness, this too can be of great value.’
Lily looked away.
‘Am I to gather that this was not the case as far as your father is concerned?’
‘Dad couldn’t stop.’
‘So it became a habit?’
‘Uncle Noah went up to Limehouse on the coalie’s cart to fetch it for him.’
‘Forgive me, Lily, but did you bear the cost?’
‘I must have been a bit daft not to know.’
‘You mean it was kept from you?’
‘Mum was afraid everyone would find out.’
‘What would you have done if you’d known, Lily?’ he asked after a while.
‘I would have done what I did this week. Stayed home to make sure he didn’t take any more.’
‘And are they holding your job at the factory for you?’
‘No, I lost it.’
He nodded slowly as he sat back in his chair. ‘You are a very resourceful and caring young woman. But how do you propose to live whilst you are about all this?’
‘I don’t know. But I’ll find a way.’
His eyes shone with admiration as he gazed at her. ‘Lily, I have never met a woman like you.’
Lily felt the colour sweep into her cheeks. ‘He’s me dad, Charles. What else would I do?’
‘Many would cast judgement and blame.’
‘What for? He just made a mistake.’
‘How simple you make that seem.’
‘It’s family that counts.’
‘How I wish that I was able to say the same myself.’
Lily looked into his suddenly bleak eyes. Was he referring to Delia and the life they could have had together?
‘And so, Lily, what is to be done now?’ He frowned, resting his elbows on the chair and bringing his hands together, placed them in a point.
‘About me dad, you mean?’
‘Yes, and indeed your own future.’
Lily dropped her head. ‘I don’t know. I want him to get well and until he does, I’ll look after him.’
‘Are you certain he will recover?’
Lily nodded fiercely. ‘Yes.’
He smiled. ‘Very good, then.’ He leaned forward. ‘Lily, I have a proposition for you. Annie’s successor left after only a few weeks. She was quite unsuitable for the post. Since then I have managed on my own, and had decided to continue in the same vein as my trips abroad take up the best part of my time. However, fate has brought us back together again. And, as old friends, I believe we could both help each other greatly. I understand that you would not be able to start immediately, but I am happy to wait until you are ready.’
Lily could hardly believe she was being given another chance. This was an answer to her prayers. As she sat silently, with the excitement building inside her so that she could hardly speak, he went on.
‘I should require you to live here during the week, but you will be at liberty to return home at the weekends. The duties are those I explained before. Looking after the househ
old and helping me to entertain my guests whenever the occasion should arise. I will engage someone for the heavy work and would expect you to complete only light household duties. As I’m away a lot, you would need to cater for yourself, but when I’m home and have a dinner function, I would engage a cook for the evening. Of course this would be subject to your father’s health.’ He added cautiously, ‘If your mother has kept your secret until this point, I see no reason why she should not maintain it.’
Lily understood what he was saying. He couldn’t risk being involved with a scandal of any kind.
‘I understand,’ she said quietly.
‘In that case, perhaps you would like time to consider?’
She knew that she had already made up her mind. ‘I would like to accept, Charles.’
His smile reached into his eyes. ‘Wonderful, Lily.’ He stood up. ‘Now, may I show you the rest of the house and your quarters.’
Lily’s heart was beating fast as she was escorted out of the room and upstairs. What he showed her were two large rooms at the top of the house that were comfortable and spacious. They needed some attention but she would soon make it home.
Lily could barely speak as again he took her round the rest of the house, pointing out the things that he liked to be kept clean and tidy. She was overjoyed to discover the aspidistra was still alive, though moved to a window on an upstairs landing.
‘You recall this little gem?’ he asked.
‘Yes,’ she nodded, her fingers going to the soft green leaves. ‘But it needs a good dust.’
Charles burst out with laughter. ‘A plant to be dusted! I never thought of that.’
Taking her arm he escorted her down the wide staircase. Lily was rewarded with the sight of the painting they had bought at Petticoat Lane that now hung on the wall.
‘It always reminds me of that wonderful day,’ he said quietly.
As they reached the ground floor and stood in the dark hall, Lily gazed about her. She could do so much to bring life into this place. It only needed a woman’s touch.
As she stood there, her eyes going from wall to wall and her imagination already running riot, Charles turned to her. ‘Well, Lily, is the answer still the same?’
She nodded. ‘Yes. But I don’t know when I can start.’