by Linda Conrad
Ty only chuckled and eased back inside her. She pushed against him, tears of passion blurring her eyes.
“Tell me, darlin’. Tell me what you want,” he whispered in her ear as he withdrew again.
Merri wanted to scream as he reached under her to roll, first one nipple and then the other, between his fingers. Then he tugged at each unmercifully.
She wasn’t raised to ask for the things she wanted. Her mother’s “kind” never spoke of sensual things…never said what would make them really happy. How could she manage it now when she hadn’t even told him the truth?
His hand felt warm and wide as he ranged it low on her belly. He inched his fingers downward until he reached the tiny taut bud that needed his touch. The shock of it moved her at last to speak.
“There,” she cried out. “Now, Ty. Please. Harder.” For the very first time, she wanted another human being to share all her pleasure. And she was willing to ask for it.
He picked up the pace and their bodies came together over and over. She was so close she could scream. Desperate, Merri reached back and dug her fingers into his hardened thighs, begging without words until she felt him start to come undone inside her.
In the end, she did scream as the ripples of pleasure pulsed from him to her and then washed over them both with a red ocean of sensation. He gave his own low, raspy shout, wrapped her in his arms and rolled them together over on their sides without breaking the connection.
He spooned against her back and kissed her temple, holding her close as their pulses began to subside. She found herself crying, but didn’t want him to know. That was the most beautiful thing that had ever happened to her.
She wanted to keep him just here…right beside her for a lifetime full of beautiful times. But she knew it wasn’t going to happen.
Oh, maybe she could keep him from finding out the truth tonight. But sooner or later she would have to tell him. She wanted him to hear it from her though, and not have to read about it in the papers, knowing that would mean the end of their beautiful nights forever.
A cold draft of reality wafted over her sweaty body, leaving her suddenly chilled and shaken. Then what would she do? Where was she to go—and how would she ever forget him?
Merri snuggled herself back up under his chin and stretched her body along the warm length of his. She felt him growing hard again inside her, and tried desperately to block out the future. For tonight…maybe for a few more nights…she would have what she’d always dreamed about.
Twenty hours later Merri once again stood in the bright sunshine, staring down into the gigantic barbeque pit that Ty’s ranch hands had dug. She had heard the term “a whole side of beef” before, but had never known what that meant.
Now she did. Below her on a spit above the fire, the main course for this afternoon’s barbeque was slowly rotating and turning dark brown.
Everything was ready for the guests, who should be arriving at any moment. Merri backed up a step, staying out of the smoke coming from the pit. She’d just finished taking a shower and dressing in her new western outfit for the barbeque and would rather not trade after-shower splash for the smell of mesquite smoke.
She was actually surprised that she could stand at all after the long night of lovemaking with Ty. Thinking back on it, she remembered how shaky her knees had been when Ty had dragged her into the shower in the middle of the night. A low purr of approval ran along her veins as the images came back to mess with her mind.
It had been the most wonderful night of her life. And she wanted more. A lifetime of more.
“You look happy,” Jewel said from behind her. “Is it because everything’s ready for the barbeque…or because Tyson got back in town last night?”
Was what she’d been feeling so obvious on her face? What had happened to all that great acting she’d thought she’d been doing?
Merri took a silent breath and turned to smile at Jewel. “Maybe a little of both.”
Jewel nodded her head and winked. “I took notice of my nephew’s expression when you came outside a minute ago. I’m guessing both of you are plenty glad he’s finally home.”
Merri automatically looked over Jewel’s shoulder to find Ty. It seemed her eyes had the man on radar today, because with one quick glance she found him standing over by the barn talking to his attorney.
Ty just plain oozed masculine sexuality. In his navy long-sleeved designer shirt and fresh new jeans, he looked good enough to gobble whole. Mmm.
“You’ve certainly made a world of difference in the way my nephew looks…and acts,” Jewel said when she saw where Merri’s gaze had gone. “I hope my instincts are right about you—that you’re really serious about him and not just playacting to get a better job.”
The question nearly doubled Merri over with panic, but she managed to tell Jewel a partial truth. “What I feel for Ty is very serious.” In fact, I love him more with every breath I take. “And I don’t want or need a better job. I like the one I have.”
“I’m glad,” Jewel said. “I love Tyson and I know he can be too intense sometimes. But since you’ve been here, those rough edges have smoothed over some. And…”
Jewel hesitated and Merri could see that she was considering how much to say. “Well, for the first time in my memory, the raw look that’s always been there in his eyes is gone. That’s your doing, honey. And I can’t thank you enough for it.”
The pain? Yes, Merri remembered that there was a kind of hidden pain in his eyes when they’d first met.
“If you don’t mind answering a too-personal question, what caused that raw look?” she questioned Jewel. “He’s told me of the awful breakup with his fiancée in college. But there’s something more, isn’t there?”
The other woman crossed her arms under her breasts and her expression turned sober. “He’s never been willing to talk about it. But I’ve always guessed it comes from when his parents were killed in that accident when he was five.
“Tyson had never spent any time away from his mother before then. When my sister left him with me, he cried and cried. She promised him she would be back before dark…”
“But she never made it?” Merri guessed.
Jewel sniffed. “That night and the months that followed were probably the worst of my lifetime, and I know they must’ve changed Tyson forever. All he kept screaming was, ‘But Mommy promised me. And she never tells lies.’”
Jewel’s voice hitched but she continued. “From then on, I don’t recall ever knowing him to believe someone at face value. Not even that Diane person who hurt him so badly in college. If he’d really thought she was being truthful with him back then, he never would’ve snuck in and caught her with another man.”
Merri swiped at her face, holding back the unshed tears welling in her eyes. She ached for the little boy—physically hurt—knowing the pain that the man she loved must have endured.
She turned her face, trying to locate him again over Jewel’s shoulder. The connection between them had obviously grown magnetic because at that very moment he looked up to find her, too. Their gazes met across the expanse of barnyard, locked together and held steady.
I will never be able to live with myself if I hurt you like that, my love. Merri decided then that she had to tell him—and soon. She’d been entirely too selfish, letting him believe in her lies.
She vowed to tell him—tell him everything—before they made love again. As hard as it might be for her, it was time to back away before her lies destroyed him. And left her with no reason to live.
Ty felt Merri’s gaze and knew even from this distance what she needed. He wanted her, too. But the way he wanted her would have to wait until they could be alone.
Still, the blunt power between them drew him in and made his body throb with arousal. He was sure that in an entire lifetime he would never be able to get enough of her.
“Steele? Where’d you go, bud?” Frank shook his shoulder but donned an easy smile as he said, “As if I couldn’t gue
ss.” They were standing near the barn, waiting for other guests to join them.
Ty turned away from the distant sight of the woman he loved long enough to finish the conversation he’d begun with his attorney. “Isn’t she something?” But he couldn’t quite get his mind off Merri yet. “Just look at how fantastic she looks in that new denim skirt and top. Man…”
“Right,” Frank said with a grin. “Uh. We were discussing the progress, or lack thereof, to our investigation into your magic gypsy in New Orleans.”
Ty tried to focus. “Yeah. I don’t understand why you can’t get a line on her. Both my cousin Nick and I saw her on the same corner and I described her in great detail. She has to be working at tarot reading or something similar, and I’d bet her place of business would be near that corner.”
Frank sighed. “The P.I. firm I hired has questioned every tarot reader and gypsy they could find in the entire Quarter. Giving them the name ‘Chagari’ helped. One of the tarot readers once knew of a woman known as Passionata Chagari. But nobody had seen her around town in years.”
“Where did she last work? Someone must know where she’s working now.”
That brought a smile to Frank’s lips. “Gypsies are…well…gypsies. They don’t exactly leave forwarding addresses, you know.”
Frustrated, Ty’s mind and gaze went back to something much more pleasant. “Can you do me another favor?”
“Sure. Name it.”
“I wanna promote Merri to be Chairman of the Foundation. I think she’d make a terrific public spokesman for the kids, don’t you?”
“No question. She’s really blossomed since she’s been here. And she sure loves those kids. What can I do?”
“Call our publicist in Dallas,” Ty directed. “Get her to send down those reporters she’s always bugging me to be nice to. I want to surprise Merri with an announcement right after the mother-daughter modeling show tomorrow.
“She’ll be all rigged out then, substituting as a mother for some of the Nuevo Dias Ranch girls,” Ty continued with a grin. “Those news guys should be able to get great shots of her with the kids. It’ll make a terrific PR story for the Foundation. Merri will be so pleased.”
“Yeah…once she gets over the shock. I don’t believe women like surprises.”
“Just do it. Let me worry about Merri’s reaction.”
Eleven
Promises should never be broken. Especially promises that you’ve made to yourself, Merri decided.
But here she was two days after she had vowed to tell Ty the truth immediately, and she still couldn’t find the way to say what she needed to say.
Every time she came close to telling him the truth, he would kiss her or take her in his arms and make her pulse jump. It was no good. When he was that close she couldn’t think, let alone say the words that would send him away.
Sighing, Merri quickly finished dressing for the modeling show, which was to take place in a couple of hours. She slipped on the stiletto heels that were required for the first of her mother-daughter assignments.
She and little Rachel Garza would be dressed in bright red party frocks as they walked down the runway this afternoon. The rest of her eight outfits would be waiting for her in the ladies dressing room at the garden club’s luncheon.
The Nuevo Dias girls were so excited. It would be Merri’s pleasure to let them show off in pretty dresses for the first time in their lives. Still, she was beginning to worry about dressing up and walking down the runway in a public place.
Merri checked her image in the full-length mirror and didn’t like what she saw. She looked way too much like the Merrill Davis-Ross from her previous life. The life she wished she could banish entirely from her reality.
“You decent in there, darlin’?” Ty’s voice coming from her front room surprised her.
“Yes, come in.”
“Too bad. I was hoping you wouldn’t be decent just yet.” He opened the bedroom door and slipped inside. “I was wishing for a chance to make you late. You…” As he first spotted her, he paused with his mouth hanging open.
She turned in a tight circle so he could approve the dress. “Is it okay? Don’t you like the color on me?”
“I…” He swallowed hard. “Give me a minute to get my heart started again. That may just be the sexiest dress I’ve ever seen. You sure you wanna wear that out in public?”
A girlish giggle popped out of her mouth and caused her to frown at her own stupidity. This was too complicated. She wanted him to like the way she looked, wanted him to want her. But she didn’t want him to like the “old” look of Merrill Davis-Ross at all.
Damned confusing lies.
He cleared his throat and the sound made her lift her chin to check if he was all right. When she really focused on the man for the first time today, her own heart skipped a few beats.
The light gray Armani suit with the white silk shirt and maroon tie simply took her breath away. He was absolutely the most gorgeous man she had ever seen. This business-shark look was even sexier than the fancy tux from the governor’s ball had been. Whoa, as Ty would say.
“Merri…sweetheart,” Ty murmured as he took a few steps in her direction. “I have a couple of surprises planned for you today. All good—I hope. But now…”
“I’m not much for surprises. What…?”
He gently took her hand and the sensitive expression in his eyes surprised her into speechless wonder. “I was going to save this one for later when we could be alone, but seeing you in that dress made it seem a lot more urgent all of sudden. I feel like I’ve known you forever, somehow, and I want to nail this down before the show.”
He sounded so ominous she panicked. “Uh…”
“You and I have a special bond, Merri Davis,” he began, oblivious to her tension. “I’ve never felt this close or trusted anyone as much in my life. We think alike, you and I. You want to do everything for yourself just like I do. You value trust as much as I do. We’ll be perfect together.
“Marry me,” he urged. “Be my partner and my wife…the mother of my children.”
She gasped and tried to drag her hand from his, but couldn’t manage to say a word. This was the dream that she was not allowed to have.
He held on to her hand and narrowed his eyes. “I don’t like that look in your eyes, darlin’. And I really need to hear what you have to say. Tell me what you’re thinking.”
Oh, no. She couldn’t stand seeing the hurt expression in his eyes when he discovered she had been lying all this time. And on top of that, she desperately wanted her one last opportunity to help the Nuevo Dias kids at the show this afternoon. Why did he have to ask now?
“Uh, Ty. We’ve only known each other for a few weeks. This is too soon.”
He dragged her into his arms and kissed her furiously. It was beyond flash and heat. Beyond frantic and passionate. Ty was telling her through their bodies what was in his heart.
At last, he broke the kiss, took her by the shoulders, leaned back and let his needs shine through his eyes. “Tell me that is too soon,” he demanded in a hoarse voice. “Tell me you don’t feel the connection.”
Her throat was closing. Tears threatened. And she could only manage to shake her head.
“You love me, I know you do,” Ty gasped.
Through watery eyes she saw the tears welling in those deep blues of his too. “I…”
“Say it,” he pleaded. “Say that you love me.”
Past all the lies. Past every vow she had ever made and broken. Merri found that this one time, she could not bear to lie to him again.
“I love you,” she mumbled miserably. “But…”
He crushed his mouth down on hers and moaned deep within his chest. “That’s all we need, sweetheart,” he told her when he finally lifted his head. “You and I are a team. Love will take care of the rest.”
“No.” She pushed out of his arms and took a step back on shaky legs. “You need to know something about me. I have to tell…”
“Hush, darlin’. Whatever it is, it’s from your past, and I don’t care. All I care about is what’s between us now. Nothing else matters.”
He reached out and ran his thumb lightly under her eye to catch a wayward tear. “We can have a serious talk later, if it’s so important to you. After the modeling show tonight. Okay?
“Right now, let’s just get used to the fact that we love each other.” He took her hand again. “And I do love you, Merri. You’ve crept into my soul. I want to share my bed and my life with you. I want to wake up every morning and see your familiar face.”
Thank heaven. Damn it. Her relief at the idea of being able to put off the truth made her furious with herself.
Merri had become her mother, after all. No matter that she had fought to escape her fate. Or that she’d tried boldly to change her whole life. She had turned into Arlene Davis-Ross, a spoiled and selfish rich-witch who was greedily grabbing at a few more hours of being someone else. How could she have let this happen?
But it had, and she sighed, nodding her head. “All right. We’ll put off our talk until after the show. But then…”
“Ah,” Ty began with a smile. “Then—we’ll spend the night in each other’s arms, telling every secret in our hearts. It will be the first night of the rest of our lives.”
The idea was so tempting…so compelling and wonderful that Merri almost lost her cool again. Almost let herself fall under the spell of his love.
What wouldn’t she give to have a magic wand right now? If she had a magic wand, she would wave it over herself and become the person he thought she was. Erase the reality of her life and turn into the person that was worthy of his love. The person he saw through the eyes of love.
She sniffed and let him wrap her up in his embrace one last time. Too bad there was no real magic in the world.
Passionata Chagari swiped at her cheeks and cursed softly over her crystal ball. Was her father’s gift to be wasted after all?
Was this brash young man going to rush headlong into a version of the truth and never discover the real magic? Would he throw away his once-in-a-lifetime chance for happiness?