by Bel Kaufman
“Trouble is,” Paul smiled his most charming smile, “a teacher has to be so many things at the same time: actor, policeman, scholar, jailer, parent, inspector, referee, friend, psychiatrist, accountant, judge and jury, guide and mentor, wielder of minds, keeper of records, and grand master of the Delaney Book.”
“Perhaps you have a rhyme for this?” Mary inquired politely.
“Certainly,” said Paul, striking a pose. “Listen:
We should be versed in Psychology,
In Theory and Technique;
Our devastating smile should be ready to beguile,
Our chalk should never squeak!
We must be learnèd as well as neat,
With high IQ’s and unflattened feet;
We must be firm, yet we can’t be rude–
And that must be our customary attitude!”
“Very amusing,” said Mary. “This kind of thing must keep you busy; no wonder you’re never here the 1st period. Who punches you in–Gilbert and Sullivan?”
But he had made his point, and when the bell rang, they were smiling.
Poor Evelyn Lazar–unwept, unsung, and lost in the bickering. Her death haunts me; I keep thinking–if only I’d been able to hear her cry for help! But we may not touch wounds– –
Evelyn is only one girl I happen to know about because she happened to be in my homeroom and because she happened to be traced and found. What of the countless others who drop out, disappear, or wrestle alone in the dark? Paul says that I make too much of it; that what she probably wanted to talk to me about was a change of locker or an extra-credit slip. But that isn’t the point–that isn’t the point at all.
Are we paid only to teach sentence structure, keep order and assign those books that are available in the Book Room?
Yet here is Henrietta, smacking her lips with spinsterish lasciviousness over her star pupil, Bob; and here is Paul, mocking the technicolor daydreams of little Alice; and here am I, jousting with McHabe for the soul of Ferone. I am still determined to reach him. He has been as insolent and wary as ever, refusing to see me after school, sauntering into class, toothpick in mouth, hands in pockets, daring me to–what? Prove something. Finally he did agree to have a talk with me. “You sure that’s what you want? OK, you call the shots!” But before we could meet, he was suspended from school for two weeks for carrying a switch-blade knife. Suspension, you see, is a form of punishment that puts a kid out of our control for a specified period, to roam the streets and join the gangs.
When I tried to tell McHabe that it would have been more valuable to let Ferone keep his appointment with me than to kick him out, he let me have it:
“When you’re in the system as long as I” (They all say that!) “you’ll realize it isn’t understanding they need. I understand them all right–they’re no good. It’s discipline they need. They sure don’t get it at home. We’ve got to show them who’s boss. We’ve got to teach them by punishing them, each time, a hundred times, so they know we mean business. If not for us, they’ll get it in the neck sooner or later–from a cop or a judge or their boss, if they’re lucky enough to land a job. They don’t know right from wrong, they don’t know their ass from–I beg your pardon. You’re young and pretty and they flatter you and you swallow it, playing phonograph records, encouraging them to gripe in your suggestion box, having heart to heart talks. A lot of good it does. Sure, we’ve got to win their respect, but through fear. That’s all they understand. They’ve got to toe the line, or they’ll make mincemeat out of us. You ever seen their homes, some of them? You ever been in juvenile court? Hear them talk about us amongst themselves? These kids are bad. They’ve got to be taught law and order, and we’re the ones to teach them. We’re stuck with them, and they’ve got to stick out their time, and they better behave themselves or else. All you people who shoot off ideas–you just try to run this school your way for one day, you’ll have a riot in every room. I’m telling you this for your own good, you’ve got a lot to learn.”
I probably do.
I’m going to be observed by Bester this week. He was nice enough to warn me. I plan to teach an adverbial clause or a poem by Frost.
I didn’t mean for this letter to be so long–but I am confused and troubled, and you are interested enough to listen. There are times when I feel I don’t belong here. Perhaps I should be teaching at Willowdale. Perhaps I should give up teaching altogether. Or perhaps I should find myself a nice young man, one who talks in prose, and settle down, as the saying goes. You seem to have found the answer.
But I don’t want to give up without trying. I think the kids deserve a better deal than they’re getting. So do the teachers.
I might be able to reach them through their parents; we’re having Open School Day in a couple of weeks. Wish me luck–and give Jim and the baby an extra kiss today.
Love,
Syl
P.S. Did you know that the State Department has started a course in elementary composition for its officers, who cannot understand each other’s memoranda?
S.
CHAPTER 27: CLARIFICATION OF STATUS
BOARD OF EDUCATION OF THE CITY OF NEW YORK
TO: Miss S. Barrett
Calvin Coolidge High School
New York, N.Y.
DEAR SIR OR MADAM:
IN REPLY TO YOUR REQUEST FOR CLARIFICATION OF YOUR STATUS, PLEASE BE ADVISED THAT ALL MEMBERS OF THE TEACHING STAFF SHALL BE APPOINTED BY THE BOARD OF SUPERINTENDENTS FOR A PROBATIONARY PERIOD OF THREE YEARS, EXCEPT THAT A TEACHER WHO RENDERS ONE YEAR OF SATISFACTORY (S) SERVICE MAY OFFER, IN LIEU OF THE OTHER TWO YEARS OF PROBATIONARY SERVICE REQUIRED BY THIS SECTION, A TOTAL OF TWO YEARS OF SATISFACTORY SERVICE EITHER AS A REGULAR APPOINTEE OR AS A REGULAR SUBSTITUTE IN THE SAME RANK, SUBJECT, AND LEVEL OF TEACHING AS THE PERMANENT APPOINTMENT APPLIED FOR. FOR THE PURPOSE OF THIS SECTION NO PERIOD OF SUBSTITUTE SERVICE SHALL BE COUNTED AS EQUIVALENT TO PROBATIONARY SERVICE UNLESS IT CONSISTS OF NO LESS THAN 80 SCHOOL DAYS OF SERVICE IN ANY 90 CONSECUTIVE SCHOOL DAYS IN THE SAME SCHOOL; AND A CREDIT OF ONE YEAR SHALL BE BASED ON NOT FEWER THAN 160 DAYS OF ACTUAL SERVICE EXTENDING OVER A PERIOD OF ONE YEAR. THIS DOES NOT APPLY TO UNSATISFACTORY (U) SERVICE.
I HOPE THIS HAS ANSWERED YOUR REQUEST FOR CLARIFICATION OF YOUR STATUS.
DIVISION OF APPOINTMENTS & RECORDS
Dear Teacher, prefibly Dear Friend,
All your doings are fair. I never found anyone like you anywheres at home or in school. (I lost 2 more lps)
Hoping to hear from you,
Vivian Paine
McHabe is a jailer they should do away with him. Warning! this is my possitively last time I am writting!
I changed my mind, a teacher can be human. I suggest the Board of Education picks all young and pretty teachers like you, who really play ball with us, and not a bunch of old foggies.
Long live you!
Frank Allen
Abollish prejudice. Abollish Miss Freedernburgs intervews they make me sick to my stomache. Like when she ask am I ashame where I live?
Edward Williams, Esq.
In these “dread” times of “Atoms” you remind me of another “teacher” I once had in “elementery”. She had the courage to laugh at a “joke” even if it wasn’t funny.
Chas. H. Robbins
Too stuck up for your own good and have pets.
Yr ENEMY
You think it’s fair when a teacher takes off 5 points on a test just because I mispelled his name wrong? (Baringor).
You said we should sign our name to show we’re not afraid of our convinctions. Well I am.
Anonimus
I suggest only men teachers. There is one traight that overshadows all your good points and that is you are a female, and my natural instinct tells me there are no good females. The opposite sex and I have nothing in common whatsoever and I am very sorry you were not a man.
Rusty
I am only in your Home Room, but I wish I had you for English. You to
ld us not to mention names of teachers, well I have Mrs. L-w-s, her voice is so grading it makes my ears squint. Last term was no better, we had M-ss P-st-rf--ld, we had to make believe we were a TV pannel or a football team. With you maybe I could learn something but I’m dropping out of school anyhow so it’s too late.
A Former Student
You convinced us you’re the teacher.
Experienced Student
I happen to have another teacher for English … I feel deep within me that there should be a deeper closeness between an English teacher and a pupil because the subject touches the very heart … I am sure you’re a good teacher too and quite attractive to look at. (I like the silver pin you wear on your gray jersy)
Alice Blake
Linda Rosen’s got the Clap!.
Guess Who
Continue teaching myths and books of all kinds. This is a good idea and I believe future generations will benefit by it. I wish also to commend you and to thank you for taking an interest in mine and the class as a whole’s grammar.
Harry A. Kagan
(The Students Choice)
Federal Lunches are Lousy.
Eater
You’re a great dresser, you know just how to wear your cloths, especially your red suit. I have no other complaint.
Well, well! I don’t mind bad teachers so much but some habbits they have drive me nuts! Like chewing their eyeglasses (Mr. Loomis) or snifling their nose (Miss Pasterfield) or wearing the same thing every day (Mrs. Lewis)! Don’t forget we have to look at them all period! Present company excluded, Ha-ha! Teachers should have a mirror in the back of the room so they could see how they look to us!
Lou Martin
No homework over week ends, s’il vous plais! From Friday to Monday I like to forget the whole thing!
Votre Ami
Get lost & stay there.
Poisen
Is it possible for you to teach Creative Writing next term?
You showed me that writing clearly means thinking clearly, and that there is nothing more important than communication.
Elizabeth Ellis
I wish I had you for Math (my favorite subject). But alas, we can not have our cake & eat it too.
A Bashful Nobody
J. J. McH.
Should go to H.
Poet
I’m getting behine because school goes to fast for me to retain the work. Maybe if they go more slower with the readings?
Repeter
I suggest: I. free lunchs
A. Air condition classes
B. No home work
II. a TV in every room
A. Movie stars for teachers
III. 6 mo. vacations, school 10 to 12, kids take over!
Teenager
Don’t worry–
We’re behind you 85 %!
I like everything we do in class but I don’t like reading books & myth too I don’t like. P.S. I don’t like grammer. Oral reports I don’t care for. You forget we’re not normal like the good schools.
A True Pupil
Lessons are pretty interesting, especially if you come to class. I suggest better attendance for me.
Absent
I can’t take my eyes off you your so beautifull. You’re just like my imaginary twin Roseanne. If I was a boy I wouldn’t even care about English, I would just sit and stare at you. But I’m not a boy so I’ll just have to suffer the consequents.
Your Unknown Admireress
Having sprained my ankle in handball the nurse gave me a cup of tea. Is that suppose to help my ankle?
Athalete
I got a lot out of Myths, they help us to better understand our fellows. Especially Narsissis, he was a lot like Mr. Barringer only he didn’t get drowned.
Odyssus
Riding to school in the bus I’m all worn out from the housework and dishes and I wish the boys who fool around and so forth would one day give me their seat I’d drop dead of supprize. Can something be done?
The Fair Sex
List of Goods: 1. You’re always willing to listen to our side no matter what.
2. When you don’t know something you’re not ashamed to say you don’t know something.
3. You’re not afraid to crack a smile when necessery.
4. You always look happy to see us come in.
List of Bads:
None.
Suggestions:
More like you.
Your Fan
My mother has been living with me for 16 yrs, but she still insists on cross-examining me.
Doodlebug
When in Miss Lewis’ class a pupil finds it necessary to visit the men’s room he is often denied that priviledge.
Sophomore
English would be much better off with more teachers like you that take an interest in their pupils instead of teaching just because they have to due to circumstances. Well ever since you elected me judge, I, for one will never forget you as long as I live. You made me feel I’m real.
Jose Rodriguez
MODEL OUTLINE OF LESSON PLAN
1. TOPIC: “The Road Not Taken” by Robert Frost.
2. AIM: Understanding and appreciation of the poem.
3. MOTIVATION: INTERESTING, CHALLENGING, THOUGHT-PROVOKING QUESTIONS, RELATING TO THE STUDENTS’ OWN EXPERIENCES.
1. What turning point have you had in your life?
2. What choice did you make, and why?
3. How did you feel about your choice later?
4. ANTICIPATION OF DIFFICULTIES:
Put on board and explain words: diverged
trodden
5. FACTUAL CONTENT OF LESSON:
Read the poem aloud:
“Two roads diverged in a yellow wood …” etc.
6. PIVOTAL QUESTIONS, DIRECTED TOWARDS APPRECIATION OF HUMAN MOTIVES:
1. Why did he make this particular choice of road?
2. Why does he say: “I shall be telling this with a sigh”?
What kind of sigh will it be? One of relief? Regret?
3. This poem ends with: “I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference.”
What difference do you suppose it has made to him?
4. Had he taken the other road, how would the poem have ended? (Elicit from them: The same way!)
5. Why does Frost call it “The Road Not Taken” rather than “The Road Taken”? (Elicit: We regret things we haven’t done more than those we have.)
6. Based on this poem, what kind of person do you suppose Frost was? (Elicit: direct, simple, philosophical, man who loved nature and had eye for concrete things.)
7. What is his style of writing? (“multum in parvo” or “much in little”: economy of language, yet scope of thought)
7. ENRICHMENT:
Pass around photo of Frost.
8. SUMMARY:
1. Blazing a trail vs. conformity.
2. Regret inherent in any decision.
(NOTE: Remember summary on board!
Windows!
No paper scraps on floor!
Try to get Eddie Williams to recite at least once.
Don’t let Harry Kagan do all the talking.
Change Linda’s seat–put her next to girl?
If time, play record of Frost reading own poetry.)
* * *
FROM: Samuel Bester,
Chairman, Language Arts Dept.
TO: Miss S. Barrett, Room 304
Miss Barrett,
The following suggestions are unofficial: they will not appear on my formal Observation Report. If you wish a personal conference, please see me.
1. Windows should be open about 4 inches from the top, to avoid danger of students leaning out.
2. Relating questions to the pupils’ own experiences is first rate, but don’t let them run away with you. They often do it to delay or avoid a lesson. Example: in connection with making a choice, the discussion of whether or not girl in 4th r
ow should wear her print or her green chiffon Saturday night was interesting, but 6 minutes on it was excessive.
3. Don’t allow one student (Kagan?) to monopolize the discussion. Call on the non-volunteers too.
4. Always ask the question first; then only call on a student by name, thus engaging the whole class in thinking. Avoid elliptical, loaded or vague questions, such as: “How do you feel about this poem?” (too vague) and “Do we regret what we haven’t done?” (The answer the teacher wants must obviously be yes!)
5. Your unfailing courtesy to the students is first rate. A teacher is frequently the only adult in the pupil’s environment who treats him with respect. Instead of penalizing suspended boy who came in late, with toothpick in mouth, you made him feel the class had missed his contribution to it. That’s first rate! (He should, however, have been made to remove the toothpick.)
6. “Note the simplicity of Frost’s language,” you said. You might try the excellent device of pretending ignorance or surprise: “But I thought a poem had to have fancy words!” or “But isn’t an adverb supposed to end in ly?” or “But doesn’t Mark Antony say nice things about Brutus?”
7. The boy next to me was doing his math. It is wise for the teacher to move about the room.
8. Immediate correction of English was effected. However, you missed: