by Solet, Trina
"Do you know how serious this is?!" Zack raised his voice too since Al was not really listening.
Al looked from Mark to his father with a pitiful expression on his face. He was looking at two angry faces with nowhere to turn to for comfort.
"You can't both yell. You are ganging up. You're mean," Al said now starting to cry in earnest.
Zack softened just a little. Mark still had the same angry look on his face.
"Fine. We won't gang up. Just Mark will yell at you this time. And you better listen." Zack compromised since Mark was doing such a good job. At first Mark looked uncertain about this arrangement but only for a moment. He was mad enough not to question it for now.
Al turned away from Mark though. Sniffing, first he turned his face to Zack then he turned away from both of them. But Mark wasn't having that.
"You are never to climb that shelf again. Do you hear me?" Mark asked in his strict voice. He turned Al's face back to him by his chin which was puckered and wrinkled from his almost crying. He touched his forehead to Al's.
"You’re not going to climb up there again, are you?" Mark insisted. His voice was softer but still serious.
"PJ can climb," Al said though it was clear that Mark had gotten through to him.
"PJ should not be your role model. PJ licks herself," Zack told him.
"So?"
Zack just stared at Al. Then he turned to Mark. "You have an argument for that?"
Mark only smiled.
They exacted a promise from Al not to climb the shelf then sent him off to play. Mark was still wound up from what could have happened.
"The whole thing could fall on him. He so little, and he thinks he’s invincible. And he doesn’t listen. Everything is PJ, PJ," Mark ranted.
"Just so you know. The shelf is anchored to the wall," Zack reassured Mark at least about the shelf falling over.
"That's good. I should have known. I know I overreacted," Mark said, calming down a little.
"No, you didn’t. He could still fall from there. And really, when you go off on him, it saves me the trouble. "
Though Mark might not have felt good about how he handled the situation, Zack did. It was proof of how much Mark cared. That wasn’t the measured reaction of a stranger doing his job. That was the quick and angry reaction of a parent when a child puts himself in danger. Zack recognized it because he had done the same thing a number of times when Al did something crazy. He wanted to hug Mark and thank him, but he didn’t dare.
Chapter 1
Though Zack still picked up Al after work, Mark was the one who took him to Little Rainbow. He sometimes got to see the other parents dropping off their kids. The couples who came there together always caught his eye. Mark tried not to stare at them, but in a way he wanted to memorize them.
Little Rainbow was a nice place, and the people who worked there were all friendly and kind. But Zack was right about the kids at Little Rainbow being little troublemakers. One day Al asked Mark, "What does not related mean?"
Mark could sense a possibly thorny issue behind that question so he didn't jump in with an answer. They were both sitting on the floor with books in their laps. Mark was doing some reading for school. Al was looking at one of his picture books. Sometimes he read a word he recognized. Now Mark put his book down. Al was looking at him, waiting for the answer.
"Who said that?" Mark wanted to know first.
"Clint said that he had a real dad. And me and some other kids don't have real dads. That me and Dad are not related," Al explained.
"Oh, it just means adopted." Mark considered that a safe answer since Al already knew about it.
"So it's not a bad thing," Al concluded from this. Then he elaborated on his family history, "Dad adopted me when my mom was sick, and she gave me to Dad as a present."
"You mean a gift," Mark tried to correct him.
"It's the same thing, Mark. Don't you know anything?"
"I'm pretty sure your dad said you were a gift not a present."
"It's the same thing!" Al said frustrated with Mark's ignorance.
Mark reported the conversation to Zack who told him he handled it well. Later that evening he heard Zack on the phone in his office telling his friend, Louise, about it over the phone.
"He has perfect instincts," Zack said.
Mark was pleased that Zack thought well of him, but he worried that if he thought too highly of him, Zack was bound to be disappoint eventually.
Zack loved catching up with Louise. He missed her, especially after having her living with him and Al. But even before that, he used to see her all the time. Now she lived so far away. He told her about Mark again and worried that he talked about him too much.
"So I guess he’s adjusting to you guys," Louise concluded from the way Zack was singing his praises.
"What do you mean adjusting to us?" Zack pounced on her words.
"You know," she said, not even trying to be diplomatic.
"What do you mean 'you know'?"
"You know you two can be kind of a challenge," she told him.
"We're not a challenge. Me and Al are two great guys." Then Zack yelled so he could be heard in the living room, "Mark! Are we a challenge?"
"What?"
"Me and Al, are we a challenge?" Zack asked.
"No?" Mark said, clearly in the form of a question.
"Don't say it like a question."
"You're OK, I guess."
"Lukewarm crap like that does nothing to reassure me," he told Mark then got back on the phone with Louise.
"I heard some of that," she told him.
"You heard nothing. Everything is fine over here."
"Aha. Actually what I hear is that he's adjusting just fine. He has you right where he wants you."
Zack groaned because she was right. Mark had him all figured out.
That night Zack got up to get some water and got sidetracked when he went to looking in on Al. As he watched Al sleep, he turned to find Mark watching him. Zack came out of Al's bedroom quietly and went to join Mark. He only spoke when he was sure it wouldn't wake Al.
"I know it's weird," Zack said of what he had been doing.
"No. It's not. It's a parent's prerogative," Mark told him as they went into the kitchen.
"I just go in to check on him. But then ..." Zack couldn't describe the feeling. Looking at Al sleeping was almost miraculous. "It's like I'm hypnotized just by his breathing. Look at him. That's my kid. That's my Al. He's amazing. Just sleeping and drooling on his pillow, he's wonderful."
"God, you're sappy," Mark said in response.
"Hey. I was sharing a deep moment with you," Zack whined.
"That was deep?"
Zack almost said "What would you know?" But he remembered Mark's family situation just in time. He wondered if his mother and father had ever gazed at him while he slept. And if they did, how could they live with themselves now?
"They are very religious," Mark said making Zack think that he might have said something aloud.
"I could tell by the way you looked at me that you were thinking about me and my parents," Mark explained.
"I am not comfortable with you reading my mind. There's filthy stuff in there," Zack told him.
"I can handle it."
Zack cleared his throat and drank some of that water he had gotten up for. But after the initial awkwardness, Mark regarded him seriously.
"It's not easy to be a single parent," Mark said like he wanted to change the subject and give Zack an opening to talk to him.
"I have people I can count on. But I need Kelly. I need my dad and mom. I need everyone who’s gone," Zack admitted.
"You'll just have to settle for me."
Zack couldn't help thinking, "But for how long?"
"But you’re right," he told Mark. "I was so worried about what would happen to Al if I died, I asked Louise to adopt him."
"She didn’t," Mark concluded.
"No. And I was a dick about it when she sa
id she couldn’t. I refused to see her side of it. I only thought of it as a precaution. But she didn't. I think she got worried that she would end up not having her own life and her own family if she got stuck with us. If she adopted Al, she would be his mother, and she wouldn't want to leave him. I don't think she could be a mother in name only, the way I wanted. So we had a fight about it. All my fault. Then I cam to my senses and we made up."
"You suffered too many deaths. You lost your mom and your grandmother when you were still a kid. Of course you were anxious for Al," Mark said.
"Don't act so young and wise."
Mark only smiled. It was wonderful how he understood him even at his most unreasonable. And he knew more about Zack than any of his friends. A while ago, he had asked Zack, "So what's your thing about punctuality?"
Zack sighed then gave Mark the short version.
"The only time my mom wasn't on time to pick me up was because she was dead."
"Oh. I'm sorry."
"Waiting for someone always reminded me of waiting for her. The dread building as time passes. And I didn't even know what to dread until my dad told me she was gone. I don't think I even knew in my heart at that age that parents could die. My grandmother died soon after that," Zack had told him.
He wondered what it meant that he wanted to talk to Mark about things he never wanted to discuss with anyone else. It wasn’t like Zack to confide in anyone lightly. But Mark brought out all sorts of things in him. It would be easier if he was simply attracted to him. But he felt so much more, too much. In fact, earlier than night he had wanted to ask Mark to sit and watch a movie with him. But Al was already in bed so he didn’t. He was worried that it was too much like what they would do if they were in a relationship. It was safer to do things with him when Al was there. At times like this, with Al asleep, too many barriers were down between them. Even though they were both in a thoughtful mood, Mark was painfully hard to resist.
Chapter 12
Mark had come in late one evening having gone to the library. He found Al right in front of the door as he came in. He watched as Mark toed off his sneakers.
"You have to untie them. It's the rule," Al told him.
Mark just smiled at him. When he went into the kitchen a little later, Al was telling on him to Zack.
"Mark doesn't have to untie his shoes. Only you have to untie your shoes," Zack told Al.
"No fair."
"You know what I'm going to say next. I'll give you a hint. It starts with he is big and you are little, and it ends with eat your broccoli."
Al groaned.
Zack was sitting at the kitchen table working on his laptop. Behind him the dishwasher was going. As well as the lemony, dish detergent smell, Mark could smell something that had been cooked earlier. It made him kind of hungry.
"Your class let out a while ago, right?" Zack asked.
"I needed to go to the library for some research. Did you need me to do something?" Mark asked not sure if Zack was complaining about his lateness.
"Oh, no. You're off duty until tomorrow morning," Zack said.
Now Mark had the impression that Zack had been wondering who kept him out so late, and he was now relieved to find out he was only at the library.
"I made a green been stew if you want some," Zack offered.
"Yuck," was Al's vote on the stew.
"You said it tasted good, it just looked bad," Zack reminded him of his earlier critique.
"Don't eat it, Mark," Al still warned him.
"I'll just have a little bit to see if it's as bad as you say," Mark said.
Al gave him a sympathetic look as he pulled out the plastic container from the refrigerator.
"You're a brave man," Zack said sarcastically.
Al agreed and not sarcastically then he went off.
With a bowl of warmed up stew, Mark sat across from Zack to eat. He didn't know why, but it gave him a tingling in the pit of his stomach. Maybe it was because Al wasn't there, and the table was small, putting them at an intimate distance from each other. He was glad Zack was only looking at the laptop screen and ignoring him since he didn't know if his face would betray his strange feelings. After Mark had a few bites, Zack turned his attention to him. He leaned his elbow on the table, propped up his chin in his hand, and asked, "So how is it?"
Mark faked feeling ill at ease, though he did feel funny as Zack stared right into his eyes.
"You are putting me on the spot now," Mark said and looked down at his bowl of green stew.
"You stinker," Zack told him.
"It's good," Mark admitted.
"But you had to torture me first?"
"Just following the house rules." The rule Mark was following was that you should tease whoever you can at every opportunity.
"I set a bad example. And you catch on fast," Zack said ruefully, but then gave Mark a sneaky smile.
It was the middle of the week and Mark and Al had come back from touring two different playgrounds. Al had declared the first one they went to "for babies". The second one was more to his liking, and they got to see some skaters in action on a steep path going down to the river. Now they were home and discussing what to have for lunch just as Zack called Mark from work.
"Hey. If you're not busy, you and Al should drop by my office, and we'll go for lunch somewhere," Zack told him.
Mark agreed. He wondered how often Zack was going to treat him to meals. Al was excited to go. Mark was too a little. Both Zack and Mia worked there, though she had already given her notice. Mark had never visited her at work, and he was curious about the place. It would be nice if he got a chance to see Mia since it wouldn’t be long before the Prestons were gone.
Zack had called up Mark on an impulse. He missed him and Al and decided to indulge himself. As soon as they walked in, Al was off.
"There he goes," Zack said as Al ran straight to Yuka's office. She had the best models of the spaces and structures she had designed, and Al couldn't stay away. "OK. He gets five minutes in there," Zack explained to Mark. "Yuka's rule. Then she'll start yelling to get him out of her hair. That's your cue to go in and drag him out, preferably without knocking anything down."
Mark nodded as he looked around the place. Noticing that he was impressed, Zack was pleased. As George approached, Zack sighed.
"That's George, and I apologize for him in advance," he told Mark.
"Why?" Mark asked.
"I don't know yet. But there'll be something." Zack shrugged. George could be counted on to embarrass him especially in front of a good looking guy, though Zack tried not to think of Mark that way. Like that was even possible.
"God, is this him? The manny?" George asked with astonishment which sounded almost like horror. As he circled Mark for a better look, his eyes roamed up and down Mark's body. "Maggie would love him. She would just eat him up with a spoon, and there would be nothing left but his clothes."
Zack interposed himself between them before George scared Mark and send him running into the street.
"It may be hard to tell but Maggie is George's wife," Zack explained, not that saying that explained anything because there was no explaining George or Maggie for that matter.
George turned to Zack and grabbed him by the shoulders.
"She can never see him," he said conspiratorially. "She would steal him away and money would be no object."
"You don't need a nanny. You don't even have kids yet," Zack told him.
"That wouldn't stop her. Look how devastatingly cute he is. The way his ass sticks out, you just want to take a bite out of it. You have to hide him."
"Stop it," Zack warned George.
"How can I? Look at that ass. It looks like it's never been sat on."
"Oh my God. Just stop." Zack turned to Mark again. He was now blushing a little.
"It may also be hard to tell that George is straight."
"But I have trained myself to recognize male beauty so I would know a threat to my marriage when I see one," George
claimed.
"I'll keep him under wraps," Zack promised just as Yuka started yelling.
"Let's introduce you to Yuka," Zack said as they headed to her office. "She may not sound like it right now, but she is the sane one."
"Aren't you the sane one?" Mark asked.
"Ha! No. I'm the uptight, number-crunching one with no talent."
Mark smiled at that just as they went into Yuka's office. Once he got a look at the place, he was mesmerized. The models were mounted on the walls or placed on glass shelves. Some of them were places they had designed for clients, some were only there to impress and would be exorbitant to build in the real world.
"Could these really be constructed?" Mark asked seeing the near impossibility, or at least the challenge presented by some of the designs.
"Absolutely," Yuka answered as she always did. She firmly stood by her designs. Of course the cost of actual building was someone else's problem. Cost was something they had to consider when designing for actual clients though, that was where Zack came in.
As Zack introduced them, Mark looked around the office again, this time searching for Al.
"The little monster is under the desk as usual," Yuka said. Her desk was a hulking, metal monstrosity in the midst of glass, the models, and pale gray walls. It had been converted from some piece of machinery, and it looked both scary and kind of cool.
"She has purple shoes," Al said from under there. That was Yuka's trademark. She wore subdued colors, impeccably tailored skirts and jackets, and colorful, high heeled shoes. Al always ended his visits to her office by crawling under her desk to see what color shoes she was wearing that day.
"Get out of there," Zack told him.
Mark held Al's hand to restrain him as they left Yuka's office to visit George's. Mark tried to take it all in while Al chattered next to him. It was an impressive place, and not just Yuka's office. There was metal and glass everywhere but also touches of creativity and humor. In George's office there was a huge model of a floor plan attached upside down to his ceiling. Al immediately climbed on the chair then the desk to try and reach it with both Mark and Zack playing his safety net.