Rough Love

by Laura Morgan

  I struggled against his hold and Tobin eventually loosened his grip. “Can I just have a minute alone in the bathroom?” I asked, nodding over to the en-suite, and he agreed.

  I then stood and wrapped the thin sheet around myself, and ran for the door as fast as my scared legs could carry me. I heard Nico and Tobin shout from behind me, but didn’t look back as I flung open the door and shoved myself into Brad’s back. He’d seemingly been keeping guard from the other side and hadn’t been prepared for an escapee. In his shock, he fell forward onto the hallway floor and I jumped over him, running towards the landing and down the stairs. I almost made it to the doorway, when my father stepped in front of me and gathered me up in his arms.

  “What are you doing?” he asked, shushing me and smoothing my hair. “Who are you running from?”

  “Daddy,” I cried, nestling into his embrace. “Tobin, he…” I couldn’t finish. Tears were falling from my eyes in waves and going down onto his blue shirt as I even thought about what had just gone on in that bedroom.

  “It’s okay, I’ve got you now.” He hugged me tighter. “Did you do it?” he asked, and was so cool and calm I would’ve thought he was talking about something as everyday as making a phone call.

  I went cold, staring up at him in shock, but he kept his arms tightly around my shoulders. I tried to fight him, to push him away, and in that moment I think my heart actually broke.

  Chapter Two

  “You knew what he was doing?” I demanded.

  “Yes, of course I knew. Tobin’s my VP, Dahlia. I promised him my daughter’s hand in marriage when I gave him the badge. You’ve had time to mourn your sister, but now you need to take her place,” my dad replied, and I had to wonder what on earth was going on in his club. That was not the way the world worked, we were not in those times anymore where fathers just gave their daughters away to a man of their choosing, like a bonus package attached to a business deal. How could he expect me to go along with it? Just because Dita was dead, did not mean I had to take her place.

  As far as I’d been aware, she and Tobin had gotten together without any say-so from our father, and they’d been genuinely happy together. I was not some second-best consolation prize that Tobin would have to accept now that she was gone.

  “You don’t own me, Dad. Please. You can’t decide this for me,” I implored him, but my father remained closed-off. “Maybe in time I might choose Tobin, but why must I be forced? I’ve never let you down. I’ve always been here to do whatever you wanted of me, whatever the club expected, and now you’re just throwing me away?” I cried, feeling hurt and betrayed.

  “Don’t you see, Dahlia? That’s exactly where you’re wrong. It’s because you are the most perfect, wonderful thing in my life that the gesture means so much. Tobin and I have been through more than you’ll ever know. He’s given the club everything over the years and has earned the right to ask me for any reward he wants. The only way I can repay my debt is with my most precious jewel—you.”

  He turned me around, and I saw my three brothers standing at the top of the stairs, watching us intently. “They’re your protectors and will watch over you forever, just like I will. The four of us will always be here to make sure you’re safe. But, I cannot keep you locked away any longer. I wanted to, believe me I did, but it’s time to let you go. Your life has been put on hold for far too long and Tobin will give you an amazing future. Trust me.”

  I panted, feeling under so much pressure I was in turmoil. What would happen if I refused? Would he kick me out and take away everything I’d taken for granted all my life? Would I be allowed to stay, but be shunned by the club for refusing to follow my sister’s lead? Every possibility I could imagine seemed a worse fate than going through with it, and I crumbled. I begged him one last time.

  “I do trust you. But I need more time. I don’t want our first night to be like this, please ask him to wait until I’m ready?” I had to ask. My determination was softening thanks to my father’s kind and loving words, but I was still terrified of handing over my virginity like a mail-order bride. I wanted to feel safe with Tobin, to love him and want him inside of me, but then and there, the sheer thought of him taking his prize this way made me want to vomit.

  “No, it has to be now. The two of you must go back home tomorrow having fallen madly in love and we can then begin preparations for your future together. I need to know for sure that you belong to each other properly, and other than the pair of you finding a priest and getting married first thing in the morning, this is the only way.”

  I couldn’t understand it. My father had never been so old-fashioned about this kind of thing before. He was staring at me like he had countless times when he was lost or scared but couldn’t talk about it. I knew that look. He was doing what he had to, not what he wanted to, and I got the feeling he didn’t really want me to go and complete the act either, but was too proud to call it off.

  It seemed as if he needed closure, an incentive of sorts before he could properly let me go. I wondered if perhaps Tobin taking my virtue was the only way he could think to force himself to consider me a woman at last, however I wasn’t about to let him off easily.

  So against my wishes, I stepped forward, walking slowly towards my brothers. I got halfway up the stairs in stunned silence, before finally gathering the courage to turn and speak my mind to the man who’d always taken such good care of me. The man I’d never had to raise my voice to or be angry with. I’d never spoken out of turn to him my entire life, and yet in those last few minutes he’d become a stranger who I felt deserved my contempt. Before I knew it, my words were flying.

  “I’ll do this for you, Dad. But know this. I will hate you from now until the day I die for making me an object you’ve traded, rather than a human being you love and respect. No matter whether Tobin and I fall madly in love and live happily ever after, I will always hate you for this.” His face fell and I knew the look he was giving me probably mirrored my own. It was a look full of pain and internal suffering. I wondered if I’d broken his heart, just as he had mine, and hoped I had. He deserved to be hurting over this.

  I climbed the last few steps and stared into the forlorn faces of my brothers when I reached the landing. They were the few people I’d trusted with my life countless times, and yet in that instant they seemed like nothing more than extensions of our father’s puppetry, not their own men. I eyeballed each in turn before uttering a venomous promise. “Which one of you is gonna hold me down, then? I’m telling you now, I am not going to go quietly, or without a fight.” None of them said a word, so I stalked back into the bedroom with them watching my every move.

  Inside the room, Tobin was laid on the bed in wait, but had at least covered himself up. He seemed to have been waiting patiently for me to return, as though he knew my father would get me to change my mind, and I hated to be back there, proving him right. The evening before had been lovely and I’d actually felt a real connection between us. Something that could’ve been cultivated in time.

  Now I knew that it’d all been a sneaky scheme to get me there, and into his bed. I hated him, too. “How long have you been planning this?” I asked coldly. I was hovering at the end of the bed with the sheet still wrapped around my naked body tightly, trembling despite not being cold.

  “A while. Dita and I grew apart the last few months. It wasn’t natural between us and never had been, so I started pulling away from her. We were too alike—fiery and strong-willed. I knew I needed someone calm and quiet, which was when I found myself watching you.”

  God, he was gorgeous. His olive skin was flawless and his pale blue eyes shone at me from across the room. I hated how drawn to Tobin I was, even after everything that’d gone on, and forced myself to remain indignant. Not letting his flattery sway me as he carried on. “Even when she died, I still watched you. My eyes never left your face at the funeral and at the wake your father caught me. I came here to clear my head, but the silence only made me worse, and before I
knew it I became obsessed with you, Dahlia. So, as soon as I stepped foot in the clubhouse today, I told him I wanted you.”

  Something inside me raged, something primal and instinctive. I was suddenly hot. I wanted him to say more, to tell me again how much he wanted me and all the ways he’d become obsessed by me. In a prefect world, I’d be so ready to let him woo me relentlessly, but this wasn’t perfect. So I forced myself to remain calm, remembering our audience, and the situation at hand.

  “So why can’t we just go out for a while and see where things take us? Surely that’s better than you forcing your way into bed with me?” I asked, and could hear the pleading tone of my voice again. Tobin shook his head.

  “No, your father needs to know he doesn’t own you any more. The ‘Daddy’s Girl’ routine needs to stop, and this time I won’t let anything get in the way of what I want.”

  “Oh so this is just you laying claim over your consolation prize?” I spat with as much venom as I could, and I think it genuinely shocked him.

  Tobin flicked on the lamp beside him and was instantly bathed in yellow light. He looked angry, downright infuriated that I’d dared say anything so harsh to him and I was glad. I hoped he’d realise how angry I was about the whole situation and how ridiculous it all was.

  Before I knew what had hit me, he dived forward and wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me forward onto the bed. I fell on top of him, our bodies colliding, and in less than a second he’d flipped us over and was on top of me, nestled between my legs.

  Tears welled in my eyes as he pressed himself against me, while heat bloomed for him atop my thighs in striking contrast. My body was defying every order I was trying to give it, and while I was glad for my layers of wrapped cotton between us, I knew it wouldn’t be long until he had taken control of them, just like he had my body.

  “Don’t you see?” he whispered, stroking my face gently, but I shook my head. “You just brought your father and brothers to their knees. And here I am, ready and waiting to give you everything you desire in order to make you mine. We’re all victims of you, Dahlia. I’m your consolation prize, not the other way around.”

  In that moment, there was a huge part of me that wanted to believe him. I’d never been called a strong and desirable woman in all my life, but liked the feeling his words gave me. I desperately wanted to be seen as decisive, independent, and powerful, but I knew Tobin was wrong about me. I wasn’t any of those things because I’d been taught not to be.

  I’d seen for myself how Dita had needed to fight her way through her entire life because of her sharp tongue and quick temper. I hadn’t wanted to be like her so had gone in the other direction and was now a ghost. I realised I’d become a shell of a young woman, rather than a whole person. I hadn’t lived. I hadn’t loved or made mistakes. How could I suddenly have the strength to take on my family or the club?

  I stared back at Tobin, struck dumb and afraid. He truly was a gorgeous man and was everything I was attracted to with his slim, toned body, and ruggedly handsome face. He was every woman’s fantasy, surely, and I let my eyes rove over him, drinking in the sight of the man towering over me. I was right when I’d wondered about the amount of tattoos he had too. Now that he was naked atop me I could see that his ink continued from his hands up his arms in impressive sleeves of vibrant colour and emotive art. The tattoos climbed up over both shoulders, and headed up to his ears on each side. He caught me staring at them and smiled knowingly. I was putty in his hands already, and we both knew it.

  I thought back to the feel of my arms wrapped around his waist when we were riding together and the few minutes of closeness we’d had when we were alone after arriving at the new clubhouse. I wanted that feeling back. I could work with that and could see us going somewhere, but this forced, arranged affair? No chance.

  Tobin was going to ruin it if he pushed me and I knew things would never be what they could’ve if I’d let him. Yes, I would no-doubt become the dutiful ‘old lady’ if I lay back and let him have me. I’d probably live out my days a kept woman who continued to sit silently beside her powerful, overbearing husband and never rocked the boat, but I didn’t want that. I wanted love and lust, mutual respect and excitement. I was not ready to lose my virginity while my brothers watched over us, and my dad waited for confirmation outside.

  “This isn’t happening, Tobin. Not tonight. Say whatever you want, but I’m not going to fuck you,” I murmured. My heart was pounding so hard in my chest I thought I might pass out, but I had to try.

  Tobin laughed. Again! He laughed out loud, and kneeled up between my knees, giving me full view of his impressive body and the hard-on he’d just been pressing into my thigh.

  “One sister who couldn’t get enough, and another who doesn’t want it at all?” he pondered aloud, clearly growing impatient with my stalling, but for some reason he listened to me. Tobin slid backwards off the end of the bed and pulled on his clothes while I watched him wide-eyed.

  “I’m not my sister. The sooner you realise that, the better,” I called as he and my brothers left me alone again.

  “Don’t I bloody know it,” was all I heard in response as he slammed the door closed behind him.

  Chapter Three

  Early the next morning, after probably just an hour or so of fretful sleep, I decided to get up. Being in that bed was no use, it just brought back the memories of the night before and I wanted to scream. I was disgusted that things had gone so far. It shouldn’t have even been allowed to happen, let alone Dad and Tobin’s plan almost having worked. And what was with my brother’s watching over us like that? Yuk. It seemed I needed to remind them we weren’t living in medieval times.

  Annoyingly though, there was another set of memories that were haunting me, and certainly not bad ones. The memories of Tobin grabbing me, kissing me, and telling me he wanted me were playing on repeat in my head. The image of him kneeling naked at the end of my bed the night before had me buzzing with my own need. His amazing body had been completely on show, his huge erection ready and poised to be inside of me, desperate for me to accept. He’d become the man of my every fantasy in that moment. The man who then told me how he’d obsessed over me. Me! The girl who sat quietly through life, always on the periphery, and yet had also become the poster-child for having delusions she could remain incognito while growing from a girl to a woman.

  It had also been the first time I’d ever even seen a man naked, let alone been close to doing anything sexual with one, and what an experience it was. Although the circumstances of it all made me want to punch him, and the others, in the face, I also found myself throbbing somewhere inside that had been long since ignored.

  As I flushed red-hot for the umpteenth time, I knew enough was enough. I slipped into the en-suite and quickly got washed and dressed, before sneaking out passed my three brothers who’d evidently camped out in the hallway. I made my way down to the ground floor and opened the curtains in the landing, then stared out at the gravelly expanse that led to the road.

  I knew I could just run away while they were all still sleeping, but where would I go? What would I do for money? No-doubt I’d end up having to give away that part of myself I’d fought so desperately to keep hold of the night before if I ran off, which was a much worse fate in my albeit naïve opinion. I was no idiot, but also not savvy enough to understand the world outside of my fathers MC. He’d made sure of that my entire adult life.

  Even with my studies and endless supply of books to keep me occupied, I’d never moved out when I went to university, or travelled the world with my friends. I had never learned to take care of myself, or handle my own finances. I didn’t know how to cook or clean, or anything like that. Self-sufficiency was a lesson I hadn’t been allowed to learn, and now I understood why.

  I wandered through the bar and instead of finding comfort in it, the smell of leather, whiskey, and smoke that was permeating from within was making me nauseous, so instead I found my way to the kitchen. I put on a
percolator of coffee and hunted down some bacon, eggs, black pudding, and tomatoes in the fridge, so decided to give cooking a full breakfast a try. As I began putting together the ingredients, I had an epiphany.

  I’d found many times over my lifetime that one of the advantages of being an introvert was that you could step out of your own skin and look at the world from other angles more easily. My quiet nature had often led me to end up sitting, watching the people around me and taking in far more than my father had ever realised, and when I stopped to think about it, I knew a lot of sensitive information about his club, and the people in it.

  Yes, we’d all seen the outside façade, but I knew the members’ roots and their personalities. I knew many of my father’s secrets and lies because either he or one of his members had let things slip without realising I was listening in. This knowledge was valuable, which made me valuable too, and I endeavoured to make sure I stayed the same way. I’d been respected and even feared by them because of my position beside the President. I was never one of the girls they ogled at and degraded, the guys wouldn’t dare, but as I began thinking about it more, I realised that in many ways he’d turned me into my mother. I had become a matriarch of sorts. The woman that was to be protected and cared for by her band of brutes at all times, but never used and abused, disrespected or put in harms way.

  Tobin had been right and that was why everything had fallen to pieces the night before. If I’d laid back and let him have me, we still would’ve ended up where we were that next morning. Things were awkward and uncomfortable, and I knew that it would have been the same no matter the outcome. My dad said he would let me go at last, but what I’d taken as him being old fashioned actually gave his real reasons away.