by Laura Morgan
“I already messed with him a little,” I told him, deciding on honesty. Nico groaned and shifted his weight on the bed, reaching towards me so he could take my hand in his. I explained my little game and Nico laughed, but told me in no uncertain terms not to do anything like it again, and I agreed. Not having my brother there as backup was actually a pretty scary thought and I realised I wasn’t as brave as I might’ve once thought.
We left things there. I would stop messing with Calvin, for the time being at least, but I was going to dig just a little. I needed to know who L was. It was an itch within me that simply wouldn’t go away. A thirst I couldn’t quench no matter how much I had tried to force it aside.
Chapter Fifteen
The next afternoon, I locked myself away in my old bedroom with Dita’s laptop and trawled through every folder I could find looking for a secret file with photos in, or better yet, some saved emails or messages from the illustrious L. None of the club members I knew of who had with names starting in L matched the profile she had described in her diary entries, and I began to wonder if his name even began with that letter at all. Calvin had become X in her eyes, so in a way, almost anyone could be her secret lover.
I exhausted myself with the search and eventually fell asleep on my bed, cradling her laptop to my chest. Later, I woke to find Tobin standing over me, gently pulling the computer out of my grasp. I knew he didn’t realise it was Dita’s and not mine, but wasn’t about to reveal the truth to him, even in my sleepy haze.
Tobin had spent the day going back and forth between the hospital and Jodie’s house, taking care of my brother and his fiancée without complaint. Doing his part for both the club and for Nico as his best friend. He was a good man, I could see it in every moment he spent being selfless or kind. I admired his strength and ability to be able to care so strongly for those he held dear. I also felt privileged to know I counted among those he would always put above others—including himself. There was no backing out from what we had together. I knew without a doubt that we would be married and live happily ever after. That was the only future I saw for us and refused to believe in anything else.
“I was going to climb into bed with you and snuggle, but I’ve accidentally woken you up,” Tobin said with a sly smile. I had the distinct impression he’d purposely been noisy and disruptive, hoping I’d wake up and pay him some attention. And do you know what? I was more than happy to.
“Get in, baby,” I whispered as I kicked off my clothes and climbed under the sheets, turning onto my side before lifting the duvet invitingly. Tobin undressed in a heartbeat and was in with me a second later, spooning me from behind. He was cold, like he’d been outside, and I guessed he’d not long got back. I was glad he’d come straight to see me rather than head to the bar, and although being against him gave me a chill, it also warmed me from within. I arched my back against him, pushing my bum against his swelling cock. “You’re cold, let me warm you up,” I groaned, pushing my entire body up against his.
Tobin pushed his arm under my top one and reached back, placing the flat of his palm against the centre of my chest. His mouth was on my neck as his knee pushed mine up at a right angle and then opened them slightly. The head of his cock was stroking at my core, demanding entry, but he held back. He waited, and while it was torture, I couldn’t deny I loved simply having his body against mine. We’d had our share of nights together, but he still drove me wild and while sometimes I wanted him hard and rough, it wasn’t that time. “Make love to me, baby.”
Tobin thrust, entering me with one deep, fluid stab. My body welcomed him without complaint, the inner muscles already having been willing before he’d taken the plunge. Rather than the usual in and out routine, he then did something new to me. He stayed inside, rocking back and forth while keeping me full to bursting. My body clenched and released him over and over, desperate for the usual stroking, but still Tobin didn’t withdraw. He seemed insistent on going slow and sensual, making love to me like I’d asked him to.
It took longer than usual to reach my orgasm, I guess because the stimulation was different that time, but when I did it took my breath away. I cried out, curling my knees up higher on the bed, while Tobin continued to press himself into me, riding the waves of my release along with me. When I was finished, he wasn’t, so began rubbing my clit from behind in relentless circular motions while he continued to move slowly inside me. I came again and this time he was right there with me, emptying with a deep, rumbling groan.
“Fuuuuck,” he breathed, falling over me as he withdrew and then pulled me into his embrace. I turned and wrapped myself in him, each of us well and truly warmed up. “That was amazing,” he then told me with a contented smile.
I had to agree, but words evaded me. All I could do was press my lips against his chest, taking his nipples into my mouth before laying soft kisses against his tattooed chest and neck. I eventually reached his mouth, showing rather than telling Tobin how I felt, and he responded by sticking two fingers in my pussy. I yelped, not having expected it, but then found myself riding them with reckless abandon. I didn’t care that I was already spent and Tobin didn’t seem to mind that I was soaked in a combination of our releases. He buried them deep inside of me, stroking his way over my g-spot and then back down until I began bucking with yet another climax. “I want to photograph you, Dahlia. Like this.” He yanked off the covers and splayed my legs open, showing off my body with such admiration I couldn’t deny him.
“Why?” I managed to ask, still floating on my cloud.
“Why?” Tobin replied with a gruff laugh, snapping me back to reality. “Because of this body that has me so fucking ruined, Dahl. I want you with me at all times, even if all I have are the pictures. I want to see those flushed cheeks and sweet smile. I need to have this,” he reached down and strummed my clit, eliciting a moan from me. I giggled, feeling shy at the thought of him grabbing a camera and shooting, but couldn’t resist those puppy-dog eyes of his he then fixed on me. I nodded, and Tobin wasted no time in diving off the bed to grab his phone from his jacket pocket. He loaded the camera and held it steady in one hand while he got back to work with the other. I was shy at first, hiding my face, but eventually got into it, especially when I came for him and he captured it on the small screen in his hand.
Tobin was then back inside me, holding the phone directly over where he was impaling me, filming as he fucked me with a relentless rhythm. When we were both finally spent, he didn’t stop photographing me. Tobin took stills of my flushed, naked body and then close ups of my face and breasts. He then laid down with me and showed me his handiwork.
They were amazing, and while I shied away from the truly graphic shots, I couldn’t deny he had taken some wonderful pictures of me. He had a good eye and had captured my natural shyness without making me look foolish. My favourite shot was a picture of his tattooed hand over my breast, the nipple just poking out between his deft fingers.
“You have a talent behind the camera, Tobin,” I told him, flicking through them again. I kept going through his camera roll, not sure what I was expecting to find there, but gasped at what his phone was filled with. “Me. They’re all of me?” I asked, looking over at him incredulously.
“Of course they are,” he answered, looking a little shy. “I told you how obsessed I am with you. Did you think I was joking?” Tobin added with a laugh. He was messing around to hide his true feelings, but I didn’t mind. We both had our secrets and that was fine, so if he felt the need to shy away because I’d uncovered one of his I didn’t care. I continued scrolling. Spying various nights we’d spent together in both the company of others and just the two of us. Tobin had caught me sitting alone beneath the huge bay window at the clubhouse, working at my laptop. There were more than a few similar to that one when I’d been alone and he had sneaked a photo, and they were lovely. Me in natural poses and genuine smiles.
“They’re beautiful,” I answered, and I was sure he sighed in relief. “I just wish w
e had some of the both of us—outside the bedroom!”
Tobin took the phone from me and looked back through the feed.
“Here,” he handed it back to me, and I could see numerous shots of us sitting together at Nico’s birthday party. And then again a week later when we were surrounded by just the club members and their old ladies. “Brad took some for me. He came to me and apologised for being rude, offering to take some when he caught me shooting you.” I smiled. Tobin must’ve known I’d had a talk with my brother, but he didn’t ask me about it, and I appreciated that. He didn’t seem one to pry and I liked my privacy, which was just another of the ways we seemed so perfect together.
I flicked through them with a smile, but then frowned when I noticed a trend there. In a few of them, Calvin was watching Tobin and I intently, like he was interested in us or was listening in on a conversation. His girlfriend Shannon was hanging off him, not seeming to notice that his attention was elsewhere, but he wasn’t bothered. I thought he had to have been interested in Tobin and I, but then I flicked to the next picture and saw a shot of me on my own, with Calvin still hovering close by, watching me with a dark, emotionless expression. My blood ran cold. Did he know? Could he have been onto me the whole time and simply played nice like I had been? All I’d done was mess with him the one time, surely he couldn’t have known it was me? Paranoia was a bitch who came crashing down on me like a ton of bricks, suddenly feeling too heavy to bear.
A hundred and one questions filled my mind and I was aware that Tobin was still laying next to me, watching me flick through the photos on his phone. If he knew a thing about Calvin’s dark side, he hadn’t seemed to react to the photo, so I chose not to bring it up. I didn’t even know how to broach the subject with him about Calvin and his violently sadistic ways. Instead, I resorted to my old tricks of forcing the thoughts away and retreating back into myself.
“I can’t wait to make more memories with you, Tobin,” was all I told him, handing back the phone before snuggling into his hold and we both fell into an exhausted sleep.
***
The next day, I was helping clean and tidy up at my dad’s while he, Tobin, and my brothers were at the hospital seeing Nico, when I came across a set of car keys I didn’t recognize. I popped them in my pocket, thinking I’d figure out their owner later, and carried on straightening the place up. Dad was gathering the club members that evening so I wanted it nice for when my extended family came round. I guessed it was that need to care for them kicking in again, but I found myself putting a lot of effort into the task, going as far as lighting candles and spraying some fabric freshener on the sofas.
My family arrived in perfect time to dive right into the evening meal the housekeeper had made for everyone—a huge bowl of chilli over tortilla chips and rice—and I joined them, listening to the light conversation going back and forth around the table.
“Nico’s going stir crazy in that place,” Tobin told me, grabbing another handful of nachos so he could scoop at his dinner. “He was ready to come home days ago but they won’t let him. He’s still at risk of infection,” he told me, but then quickly shook his head when a fearful look swept over my face. “He’s fine, trust me. The doctors are just being extra careful is all.”
“Good,” I replied, tucking into my small mound of food. A few of the others then began arriving for church and they hovered on the periphery, waiting for their leader to invite them to enjoy the meal. Calvin was there, and this time I felt him watching me. I looked up and caught his eye, smiling in greeting like I always did and he shot me back his trademark grin. It was as if nothing was wrong between us, and of course I couldn’t be sure if he was onto me or not, but doubt was forcing me to tread carefully, just in case.
After dinner, they disappeared for just over an hour while I curled up on the sofa and read a book. I planned to wait for Tobin, but he and my father stayed behind, talking in private after their club meeting was over. It was late and I was tired, but I forced myself to stay and wait for my man.
While sitting there engrossed in my novel, I could hear some of the guys teasing and joking around, and looked up to find that Calvin was the butt of their jibes.
“Who loses the keys to the President’s new truck the day after it’s delivered?” Ethan, one of the junior members, asked another, nudging him with his elbow. “Oh yeah, this guy!” He pointed to Calvin, who laughed it off, but I could see he hated it. The conversation went on and on, mostly banter, but I learned enough. Dad had had a new truck delivered the evening before, ready for Nico to drive when he came home, and Calvin had been asked to give it a tune up, but had then apparently lost the keys.
I felt like I might burst out laughing at any moment, feeling the heaviness in my pocket of the set of keys I had found while cleaning up. They had to be the ones, and I couldn’t resist keeping that nugget of truth to myself. Dad would undoubtedly be furious with Calvin for having misplaced them and I relished in the idea that he’d been given a grilling and was now in my father’s bad books. He deserved it, the bastard. And then some.
I bided my time, waiting for the opportune moment to sneak away unnoticed, and then made for the kitchen, where I ducked out the back into the huge garden. The bikes and cars were all lined up in neat rows alongside one another and I reached into my pocket for the keys, pressing down on the fob. I was right. The gleaming new truck halfway down the line beeped to respond to the unlock button having been pressed and I saw the lights turn on inside. I slunk over to it, checking my periphery. I wasn’t entirely sure what I wanted to do with the keys. Maybe I should’ve just tossed them into the bushes, but I felt brave. I wanted them to be discovered and get Calvin in more trouble, so I opened the door and threw them into the foot well of the passenger seat before closing it silently behind me.
As I then headed back to the house, I heard the sound of clapping hands coming from the shadows over by the back door. My heart sunk. Dread halted me in my tracks. I knew who was there before he’d even emerged from the darkness of the back porch and readied myself, unsure how he might be going to react to my trickery.
“And there was me thinking the devious, rotten sister had gone and only the meek, gentle, and naïve sister remained. How wrong I was about you, Dahlia,” Calvin said as he stepped closer. “How wrong we all were.” He laughed, eyeing me curiously. “But not Tobin. He sees you, doesn’t he? Brings out the free spirit in you, I bet?”
“I know what you did to her. I know how you beat and raped her time and again, fooling her into thinking you’d been sent to teach her a lesson, when all the while you were just having your deviant way without a care for her wellbeing.” I couldn’t hold my tongue, or my anger. I shoved his shoulders hard, catching him off guard, but not for long. Calvin lunged for me, grabbing me by the neck and heaving me into one of the trucks. My head span with the rush of it but I still squirmed, intent on fighting him back. Not letting him win.
“You think you know me, or the things I’ve done? You have no idea sweetheart, but you will. You’ll know soon enough,” he growled before letting me go. “I suggest you quit messing with me, or mark my words, something terrible will happen. Something even the sweet and innocent Dahlia can’t come back from…”
Calvin then sauntered away as if he didn’t have a care in the world, while I crumpled in a heap on the floor.
I wrapped my arms around myself and curled my knees up to my chest. My breathing was ragged, my head spinning, and all I wanted to do was get away. I wanted to go home, not my dad’s house, but my home. Dahlia’s. Just me and Tobin.
Gathering myself together, I forced my fears away, stood tall, and took a deep breath. I then headed straight back inside, being careful to sneak up to my room unnoticed before I then flung myself onto the bed and screamed into the pillow with all my might.
Chapter Sixteen
Tobin didn’t come up to bed until late and he was drunk, so rather than try and talk or gain any closeness, I just pretended to be asleep. He undres
sed noisily but then fell into bed beside me. He was snoring in a second and I just lay there, contemplating my life, my family, and my future. But most of all, the predicament I had found myself in with Calvin. He knew I was onto him, that I had uncovered some of his misgivings, and yet he didn’t care. Calvin knew I wasn’t going to tell anyone, otherwise I would’ve done it already. He thought he had won and yes, he’d bested me for the time being, but not forever. I decided then and there that I would find out everything I could while staying as far away from Calvin as possible. I wouldn’t give him the opportunity to corner me again. As the saying went, he might’ve won the battle but he wasn’t going to win the war.
The next day, I heightened my efforts to find L. I read back through Dita’s messages with her friends, hoping to find something helpful, but still I came up empty. She hadn’t confided in anyone. Why? L had to have been someone she had to see under the radar. Someone completely out from the club and our father’s gaze. There must’ve been a good reason for that. I browsed through her contacts list again, looking for any clue, which was when I found a profile locked down and containing nothing more than a red flower as the cover photo. The name wasn’t anything distinguishable either, being simply called Jane Doe, so I opened the message box and wracked my brains thinking of a suitable way to introduce myself. Being brave, I typed in the small window, writing Jane Doe a message from Dita’s posthumous profile.
I know you loved her…
I hit send.
Nothing. I waited ages and the message wasn’t even opened by whoever Jane Doe was. I figured perhaps I was wrong after all, so closed the laptop and stowed it away, figuring I’d come back and take a look later. It turned out it was a good call because just as I stood to head downstairs, a sharp knock came at the door and my father walked straight inside.