by Bill Bernico
“What’d I tell you?” Eddie said.
Eric sat down and sighed. “Well, I’ll be...” Eric scratched his head for a moment and then turned to Eddie. “You couldn’t have picked a worse face.”
“Tell me about it,” Eddie said. “Now what am I supposed to do?”
“Well, for one, we have to keep you off the streets. You’d be a sitting duck out there.”
“What about protective custody?” Eddie suggested.
“No good,” Eric said. “If these guys have any connections at all within the department, they’d be able to get to you.”
“You can’t even protect me in your own department?” Eddie said indignantly. “What kind of police force are you running here?”
Eric didn’t answer him. Instead he picked up his phone and dialed a number that he knew by heart.
The cell phone in Matt Cooper’s pocket rang. He flipped it open. “Hello?”
“Matt, it’s Eric Anderson down at the twelfth precinct. Can we meet?”
“Eric, why didn’t you just call the office phone?”
“I’ll explain when I see you. Ten minutes in my office?”
“I’ll be there,” Matt said, closing his phone. He turned on his answering machine and headed downtown. When he got to Eric’s office he tried the knob and found the door locked. He knocked.
“Who is it?” Eric said.
“Eric, it’s Matt.”
Eric unlocked his door and let Matt in, locking it behind him. Eric gestured toward his other guest. “Matt, this is Eddie Roman. Eddie, this is Matt Cooper.”
Matt shook Eddie’s hand before and then turned back to Eric. “What’s going on here, Eric? I thought you were going to retire.”
“I have to finish out this week yet,” Eric explained. “Your dad and I were supposed to go fishing next weekend, then this came up.”
“Who’s going to fill your position after you’re gone?” Matt said.
“I don’t know yet. It could be Sergeant Baldwin or Sergeant Cole. The captain still hasn’t made his choice yet.”
“Won’t be the same around here,” Matt said.
Eric briefly explained the situation that Eddie found himself in and how it was a problem for the department trying to keep Eddie out of harm’s way until the trial. Matt listened intently and then looked at Eddie again. He couldn’t help but smile at the irony.
“You had to pick that face?” Matt said.
Eddie didn’t see the humor in Matt’s remark and ignored him.
Matt held up one palm. “Sorry,” he said. “This whole thing just feels like a Twilight Zone episode.” He turned back to Eric. “So, what is it you need me to do about all this, Eric?”
“I need you to get Eddie out of town until the trial,” Eric explained. “Someplace safe where no one, especially Boyle, would think to look for him.”
“Now, who’s this Boyle,” Matt said.
“Louie Boyle,” Eric said. “He’s the man Bergetti is supposed to testify against. His slimy lawyer got him out on bail but if he gets his hands on Bergetti, there won’t be a witness or a trial.”
“But I’m not Bergetti,” Eddie said.
“Boyle won’t know that,” Eric said. If he sees you he won’t take the time to ask twenty questions to make sure he has the right guy. He’ll just shoot first and skip the questions.” He turned back to Matt. “That’s why I need you to hide Bergetti, or should I say, Eddie Roman, out for a while. Just take him someplace far away and safe.”
“I’m not driving him to Outer Mongolia,” Matt said sarcastically.
“Wherever it is,” Eric said, “I don’t want to know about it. Just as long as you have him back in my office in four days.”
“And you’ll pay the going rate for all this?” Matt said. “I get two hundred dollars a day plus expenses.”
“I only have fifty a day plus reasonable expenses in the budget,” Eric said. “You want the job or not?”
“Not,” Matt said and headed for the door.
It only took Eric a second or two to realize that he had no other options at this late stage of the game. “All right, two hundred.”
“Plus expenses,” Matt added.
“Plus expenses,” Eric agreed. “Do you have a plan of action, Matt?”
“I do, but you don’t want to know about it.” Matt turned to Eddie. “I think we should get moving and the sooner the better.” He gestured toward the office door.
“Just like that?” Eddie said. “Don’t I get to stop home and pick up a few things?”
“We can get what we need on the road,” Matt said.
“Not my medicine,” Eddie explained. “I’ll need to stop home briefly to at least get my medication.”
Matt and Eric exchanged a quick glance before Eric nodded slightly. “All right,” Matt said. “But let’s get going, and stay out of sight. I don’t want anyone thinking they’ve spotted Bergetti along the way.” He led Eddie out of the room and quickly turned back to Eric. “I guess I’ll see you in four days.”
On his way to the parking lot, Matt flipped open his cell phone and dialed his father, Elliott. “Dad,” Matt said when Elliott answered. “Look, I know you’re retired and all, and I wouldn’t normally ask, but I’m in a bind. I’ll be out of town on assignment for Eric for the next four days. Could you maybe hang around the office and keep an eye on things until I get back?”
“Where are you going?”
“Can’t say, Dad. To tell you the truth, I don’t even know yet. Eric doesn’t even want to know.”
“Sounds like an important job, son.”
“It is, Dad, now about watching the office.”
“You know, Matt,” Elliott said. “Cooper Investigations has been a two-man operation for quite a few years now. Have you given any thought to hiring a second operative.”
“Not yet,” Matt said, “but you can bet it’ll be at the top of my to-do list when I get back, but meanwhile...”
“Sure,” Elliott agreed. “I’ve been holding off going fishing until next week when Eric retires. The two of us have a lake all picked out already.”
“Yes, he mentioned something about that this morning,” Matt said. “Things just won’t be the same around here without you two.”
“You’ll get over it,” Elliott said. I know I will.”
Matt exited the twelfth precinct to the parking lot. “Gotta run, Dad. Thanks for watching the office. I’ll talk to you when I get back.”
Matt hung up and guided Eddie into his van. “Why don’t you crawl into the back and stay low? You can just give me your address and I’ll swing by there on our way out of town.”
Eddie crawled into the carpeted back of Matt’s van, a surveillance van Elliott had tricked out with all the latest in cameras, monitors and other spy paraphernalia. He told Matt his address and laid back on the carpet. “This is pretty comfortable, Matt.”
“It was designed that way for long stakeouts,” Matt explained. “Dad put this whole thing together a few years ago and it has paid for itself several times over.”
A few minutes later Matt pulled into Eddie’s driveway, looked both ways to see if he’d been followed and then led Eddie out to his back door. Once inside, Eddie made a beeline for his medicine cabinet and grabbed two vials of pills, dropping them in his pocket. He looked at Matt. “Just let me grab a couple changes of clothes so I don’t have to buy more clothes on the road or get ripe in these.”
Matt nodded. “Make it quick. We have to get moving.”
Eddie pulled a brown grocery bag from beneath his kitchen sink and carried it back to his bedroom, where he filled it with two pairs of slacks, two shirts, a couple pair of fresh sock and underwear. He paused in the kitchen afterwards and retrieved another brown bag, filling it with non-perishable food, a half-full gallon jug of chocolate milk, a short stack of plastic cups and half a bag of hard candy. “Okay,” Eddie said. “We can go now.”
“Sure you don’t want to take the television along?” M
att said sarcastically.
“No,” I’m all set,” Eddie said.
The two men exited through the kitchen door again. Eddie gestured to a case of bottled water and asked Matt to bring it along before they walked back out to the driveway. Eddie crawled into the back again while Matt slid beneath the wheel and backed out of the driveway. Matt still had no idea where he would take Eddie, but instinctively drove toward the freeway. He took the Santa Monica Boulevard on ramp and headed south for a while before turning west.
Eddie lifted his head up in the back long enough to see that they were on the freeway. “Where are you going?”
Matt shrugged. “Don’t know yet. I just know we have to get out of town. Might as well lay back and relax. This could be a long trip.”
Eddie closed his eyes and tried unsuccessfully to nap. He lay there with his eyes open, wishing he had his old face back, scar and all. An hour passed before he sat up again to get a look out the windshield. “We’re going south,” Eddie said.
“As good a direction as any, isn’t it?” Matt said.
“You’re not thinking of driving into Mexico, are you?” Eddie said, a little concern in his voice.
“No, I don’t think that would be a wise move.”
“Then where?”
“I’ve got a friend who might put us up for the night,” Matt explained. “He lives in San Marcos in a trailer park. I’m sure we’d be safe there overnight at least.”
“You sure we won’t be an imposition?”
“No, Dave’s always after me to stop in whenever I’m in the area,” Matt explained. “You’ll like him, he’s a real scream.”
“Really?” Eddie said. “What’s this Dave do?”
“He kind of freelances as a computer consultant,” Matt said. “When he’s not doing that, he’s making music?”
“You mean he plays the radio?”
“Not quite,” Matt said smiling at the thought. “No, Dave’s a singer.”
“Me, too,” Eddie said. “Friday nights I go down to the corner tavern and try my hand at karaoke. I’m not too bad, either, if I do say so.”
Matt laughed.
“Did I say something funny?” Eddie said.
“You’d have to know Dave,” Matt said. “He’s a real musician and has been for most of his life, playing in bands and ending up as a solo act before hanging it up.”
“He’s all done?” Eddie said. “I’ve talked to a few lifers and they...”
“Lifers?” Matt said.
“Lifers, you know, lifelong musicians, and they all tell me they’ll have to be carried off the stage before they’d give it up.”
“That’s Dave,” Matt said. “A lifer.”
“You mean a lifer who gave it up,” Eddie said.
“Well, not totally,” Matt explained. “Dave joined another band recently just to keep a hand in it. The only thing he gave up was his solo career. He told me he’d rather just coast now and let someone else have the headaches of booking the gigs and dealing with the bar owners. These days Dave is just content to play the gig, collect his pay and go home.”
“Hey,” Eddie said, “You think if Dave’s playing tonight that he’d let me come up and sing one with him?”
“Normally that might be a good idea,” Matt said, “but not with your new face. You’re trying to stay low key, remember? Just your luck Frankie Bergetti or one of his minions would be in the audience that night.”
“Oh yeah,” Eddie remembered. “Never mind. You know, when this is all over, I’m going to pay another visit to that plastic surgeon and tell him to give me back my old face and put me back to the way I was before all this.”
“There’s our exit,” Matt said, taking the off ramp to San Marcos. Another few minutes of maneuvering through the winding streets and Matt found himself parked in front of his friend’s trailer. He turned back to Eddie. “Stay down, out of sight while I see if Dave’s home.” Matt stepped up onto the stoop and pressed the doorbell button. From somewhere inside Matt could hear the familiar seven notes from The Beatles’ 1966 song, “Drive My Car” ringing out. Matt sang to himself as they rang. “Baby you can drive my car.” No one answered and Matt pressed the doorbell again, this time singing along, “Guess I’m going to be a star.” Matt couldn’t help but wonder if when Dave blew his car horn, if the notes came out as “Beep beep ‘m beep beep, yeah.” Wouldn’t that be just like Dave?
A moment later the door opened and Matt stood face to face with his old friend. Dave didn’t immediately put it all together, since he wasn’t expecting Matt. A second later recognition kicked in and a broad smile crept onto Dave’s face. “Matt, you ol’ groupie, you. What brings you down my way?” He held his hand out and Matt shook it, patting Dave’s back with his left hand.
Matt hiked a thumb over his shoulder. “I’m on a case,” he explained. “I have to keep a guy out of harm’s way until his court appearance next week. We just started driving and before you know it, I found myself in your neighborhood so I thought I’d look you up. Did we interrupt anything important?” Matt winked at Dave.
“I wish,” Dave said. “No, if that was the case, I wouldn’t even have answered the door.” Dave looked out toward the van and didn’t see anyone sitting in the passenger seat. “Where is he?”
“He’s keeping low in the back,” Matt explained. “It’s a long story.”
“Well, go get him and bring him in,” Dave said. “It’s too hot to be sitting out there in a closed van.” Dave paused a moment and then added, “Can I speak freely in front of him?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, I know you’re not religious and I damn sure ain’t,” Dave said. “I just wouldn’t want to go on about those brain-dead followers if he’s one.”
Matt shrugged and spread his hands. “I don’t know. It never came up. I’m sure you’ll find a way to sneak it into the conversation and feel him out.”
“I hope he’s not easily offended,” Dave said. “Because, as you know, I’ve never been long on tact or patience with bible thumpers.”
“Okay,” Matt said. “Just don’t jump right in with the Jesus jokes. Ease into it, will you?”
“Don’t worry,” Dave said. “I won’t embarrass you in front of your friend.”
“He’s not my friend,” Matt said. “I only met him this morning. He’s more like an assignment.”
“Well, go get him and bring him in,” Dave said.
Matt returned to the van, looked both ways down this street and slid the side door open, gesturing for Eddie to follow him to the trailer. Dave held the front door open as his two guests walked in. Dave closed the door again and turned to Matt.
“Eddie Roman,” Matt said. “I’d like you to meet my good friend, Dave Gast. Dave, this is Eddie.”
The two men shook hands before Eddie nervously looked at his surroundings. “Don’t worry, Eddie,” Dave said. “You’ll be safe here for now.”
“Thanks a lot, Mr. Gast,” Eddie said.
“And that’ll be enough of that,” Dave said. “Around here I’m just plain old Dave. Mr. Gast was my father.”
“Okay, Dave,” Eddie agreed. For lack of anything else to say, Eddie added, “Matt tells me you’re a musician.”
Dave shot a quick glance at Matt and then looked back at Eddie. “I guess I am,” Dave admitted.
“That must be exciting,” Eddie said.
Dave gestured toward his living room sofa. “We can continue this conversation in the living room. Would either of you like something to drink?”
Matt and Eddie both waved him off. “We’ve been drinking most of the way down here,” Eddie said. “Maybe later, but I could use the bathroom.”
The smile fell off Dave’s face. “Sorry, I don’t let anyone use my bathroom.” He stared at Eddie without blinking for a few seconds. Eddie looked at Matt and then back to Dave. Dave and Matt broke up simultaneously. “Sorry, Eddie,” Dave said. “It’s just my warped sense of humor.”
“I ha
d a hard time keeping a straight face,” Matt said.
“So, is that a ‘yes’ for my bathroom request?” Eddie said.
Dave was still laughing when he rose from his chair and showed Eddie where to find the bathroom. He returned to the living room. “So what’s the story on Eddie?” Dave said.
Matt explained the bizarre circumstances surrounding Eddie’s current predicament, ending with how Matt came to be Eddie’s babysitter.”
“What are the odds?” Dave said. “I mean, of all the faces he could have ended up with, he ends up with some mobster’s mug. Poor guy.”
“So, how’s the band thing working out for you?” Matt said.
“It’s okay, I guess. I just have to lower my standards and bite the bullet when I hear the parts that these guys are satisfied to play. I know they could do better, but they don’t seem to see the importance of even playing the correct chords. I mean, the other guitar player will play an F when the song really calls for a D minor seventh. I know it’s only a one note difference, but why settle for the Mel Bay Book One version when they could just as easily play the right chord and be done with it?”
“Pay’s the same either way, isn’t it?” Matt said.
“That’s not the point,” Dave said. “I mean...”
At that point Eddie came back from the bathroom and interrupted Dave’s diatribe. “Don’t let me interrupt,” Eddie said. “Go on with what you were saying.”
Dave waved him off. “It’s just as well you came back. I was just getting irritated talking about it anyway.”
There was an awkward pause in the conversation before Dave jumped back in with, “So, Eddie, you ever see George C. Scott in that movie, The Bible?”
Matt reached out and backhanded Dave’s shoulder. “Mr. Subtle strikes again.”
Eddie looked at Matt. “What?”
“That was just Dave’s clever way of finding out where you stand on religion,” Matt explained.
Eddie looked back at Dave, not sure what he should say. After all, he didn’t know what Dave’s stance was on the subject and he was hesitant to offer his view. “So how about those Chargers,” Eddie said. “I hear they have a shot at the Super Bowl this year.”