by Amy Clipston
“I’ll bring you a few towels,” Todd offered.
“Sounds good.” Jesse thanked them again, backed away from the pickup truck, and swiveled toward Tobias as their rescuers left. “Brian Walker and his friend are coming back with a flatbed.”
Tobias chomped his gum. “That’s gut.” He rested his chin on a bent knee as more thunder rumbled above them.
Renewed fury burned through Jesse as Tobias sat quietly waiting for the tow truck. “Why am I the only one worried about getting your buggy home?”
Tobias shrugged. “You’ve got it under control. Everything will be fine.”
Something inside Jesse snapped, and his temper flared. “Have you considered what your dat is going to say?” He gestured toward the buggy. “Don’t you think your situation at home is going to be worse when he finds you drunk with a smashed buggy?”
“Don’t stand there and judge me.”
“Who said anything about judging you?” Jesse crossed his arms over the front of his soaked shirt and shivered as the rain continued to drip through his hair and onto his clothes. “I’m still trying to understand you. We have some time to kill, so why don’t you explain how you think getting drunk at a youth gathering and then trying to get yourself home was an intelligent plan?”
“Fine.” Tobias stood and took a step, swayed slightly, and then righted himself. “Let me try again. You have no idea what it’s like to be me. You only know what it’s like to be Jesse Zook, the perfect sohn.”
“I’m not perfect, nor is my home life. I’ve let mei dat down plenty of times, but you don’t see me getting drunk and racing buggies as a way of dealing with it. What if Arie had been in that buggy with you?” Jesse’s voice rose as his body shuddered with renewed consternation. “How would you have felt if she’d been hurt?”
Tobias glared at him and then slowly shook his head before jamming his finger into Jesse’s chest. “Your life is so easy. You have everything you’ve ever wanted, and you’ve never had to work for any of it. You’ve had everything handed to you without any effort.”
“That’s not true.” Jesse slapped Tobias’s hand away.
“Ya, it’s true. You’ve known for years that you were going to marry mei schweschder. You didn’t even have to chase after Ariana since she’s always been in love with you. She’s had a crush on you since she was eight. All you had to do was smile at her and pay attention to her, and you had her loyalty and her heart.” He began ticking things off on his fingers. “You have a haus of your own, and you’re only twenty-four. You have a successful business. Both of them were given to you by your dat. You have no idea what it’s like to actually work for something.”
“I work hard every day.” Jesse’s body tightened with growing animosity. He took a deep breath in an effort to calm himself. Tobias doesn’t mean it. His emotions are blurred from the alcohol. “Training horses is hard work.”
Tobias sneered. “And you have no idea what it’s like to feel like a stranger in your own family’s home.”
“What are you talking about? Your parents and Arie love you. Your thoughts are hazy because of the alcohol. You have no idea what you’re saying.”
“Actually, I know exactly what I’m saying.” Tobias’s expression darkened and his eyes glistened. “All I do is mess up, and mei dat criticizes me nonstop.”
“Have you told him how you feel?”
“Ya, but he doesn’t understand me.”
“What do you mean?”
“He thinks I should be froh to inherit the farm and run it, but that’s not what I want.” Tobias looked down at the ground and kicked a stone. “I want to work with my hands. I want to build things. Maybe even make furniture like mei onkel Titus, but mei dat won’t listen to me.”
“You’d rather be a carpenter?” Jesse was stunned, and then memories filled his mind. He recalled how, when they were children, Tobias used to frequently ask Marvin to take him to visit his uncle Titus’s furniture store. He also remembered a time when Marvin yelled at Tobias for spending too much time in the small workshop at the back of their barn where Tobias built birdhouses. His uncle would sell them for Tobias in his store.
It never occurred to Jesse that Tobias longed to become a carpenter. “Have you ever considered suggesting that you sell the farm when your dat is ready to retire? Maybe then you can go to work for your onkel.”
Tobias kicked another stone. “Ya, I actually did suggest that once, and he said no. He insisted the farm has to stay in the family, and since I’m the only sohn, I have to take it over. He told me to face the fact that I’m a dairy farmer, and I always will be.” Glancing up, he gritted his teeth and pointed at his chest. “What about what I want? Why can’t I decide what future I have? What if I want a life like yours, doing a job I love with the opportunity to build a haus of my own?”
Suddenly, empathy shoved away Jesse’s fury. “You’re just upset, Tobias. But everything will be okay. You can have the same things I have. You can have a future. Maybe you’ll meet the right maedel and get married soon after Arie and I do.”
Tobias snorted as a wry smirk overtook his lips. “You think I should get married? And just where would mei fraa and I live? In my bedroom?” His expression hardened. “How could I have a family while living under mei dat’s thumb?”
“You’re a great guy and have a lot to offer. You should try to—”
“Don’t patronize me,” Tobias snarled. “You know as well as I do that I don’t have anything to offer any maedel in this community. It’s time for you to wake up and see just how easy you have it. Most of us don’t have the privilege you’re used to.”
“Privilege?” Jesse’s back stiffened with defiance and offense. “That’s a joke, right? Look, you’re very drunk. You should stop talking and shut your mouth before you say something you’ll regret.”
“Why would I regret the truth?” His voice was barely audible over the rumble of thunder.
Jesse flinched as if Tobias had struck him. Tobias had been his best friend since they were in first grade, and Jesse had thought of him as a brother. Tobias had never shown any signs of considering Jesse privileged and lazy before. Had the alcohol inspired Tobias to speak the truth after their nearly lifelong friendship? The realization sent a pang of confusion and disappointment through him.
Jesse leaned against the buggy as Tobias sat back down on the ground with his back toward him. Jesse tried to ignore the hurt washing over him. Tobias was drunk, and any chance of reconciling their differences would have to wait until he’d sobered up.
The rattle of a diesel engine drew Jesse’s attention to the road. He stood up straight and prepared himself for the struggle of loading the damaged buggy onto the flatbed.
In his heart, however, he feared the real struggle had just begun.
Ariana halted Jesse’s buggy in front of the back porch. As his horse came to a stop, a tink-tink-tink sounded from somewhere in the back of the buggy. Leaning over the seat, her fingers brushed against a paper bag. She lifted it, opened it, and found a cool glass bottle. She read the label.
“Vodka?” Where did this come from? Her eyes widened. Suddenly, everything came into sharper focus—her brother and Jesse racing in the rain and Jesse blatantly ignoring her pleas to slow down.
Jesse and Tobias had been drunk.
Shock cemented her to the bench seat in the buggy. She’d never seen Tobias or Jesse drink alcohol. Sure, when they were teenagers they got into their fair share of scrapes—even a couple of serious ones. But that had been years ago. They were men now, and she thought they’d put that reckless behavior behind them. Jesse worked hard on his father’s horse breeding and training farm and kept his promises to her. How could they both be so irresponsible? And worse, how could Jesse, the love of her life, put her in danger by drinking and then driving a buggy to take her home?
Perhaps Jesse Zook wasn’t the mature, solid Christian man she’d believed he was. Maybe he was a fraud. He had forgotten about her twice today—at th
e lake and then again at Mariella’s house. Did she really know him as well as she had believed she did? The notion stabbed at her heart.
Her hands trembled as she dropped the bottle into the back of the buggy. She yearned to ask Jesse to explain himself, but obviously she had to wait until he and Tobias brought the damaged buggy home.
For now, she had to push aside her confusion and anger and face her parents. She was already late, and soon her parents would become worried about the delay.
She quickly stowed Lester along with Jesse’s horse and buggy in the barn, grateful summer temperatures had been warm enough to keep the horses from getting cold in the rain. Tobias and Jesse would groom them for the night later.
She hurried through the rain toward the back steps of the two-story whitewashed farmhouse she’d lived in her entire life. When she reached the back door, she stopped, sniffed, and swiped her hand over her eyes, hoping to conceal both her raging emotions and the evidence that she’d cried during the ride home.
But she couldn’t wipe from her mind the image of Tobias’s buggy flipping onto its side. The thought of the smashed buggy sent a shudder through her and stole her breath for a moment. The terror of holding on to Jesse and begging him to slow down overtook her, and her legs wobbled.
Why would Jesse and Tobias risk their lives for alcohol? Why would Jesse risk hers?
Thunder crashed, and Ariana gripped the knob on the closed back door. She peered through the window into the mudroom, and through the open doorway to the kitchen she saw her father sitting in his usual spot at the head of the table. Her mother brought a platter of food over to him. Taking a deep breath, she prayed her eyes weren’t puffy. She had to try to act as if everything was okay. If her father knew about the racing, he would be furious. She couldn’t bear to witness another argument between Dat and Tobias.
Ariana pulled the door open, and as she stepped into the mudroom, the aroma of baked chicken wafted over her.
She kicked off her soggy shoes and pulled at her dress where it was stuck to her legs. Then she touched her prayer cover, gasping when she felt it was also soaked. She’d been so worried about Tobias that she hadn’t thought to take it off before rushing from Jesse’s buggy to check on him. She cringed, imagining the lecture her parents would give her for not only getting wet but for not shielding or removing her prayer covering.
“Ariana?” Mamm called from the kitchen. “Tobias? Is that you?”
Ariana forced her lips to curl up in a smile and then stepped into the kitchen. “I’m home. Supper smells appeditlich.”
Mamm’s pleasant expression melted into a frown as she studied Ariana. “Are you wet?”
“Ya.” Ariana tried to laugh it off, but her laughter warbled. “I got caught in the rain.” She started for the stairs. “I’m going to go change. I’ll be right down for supper.”
“Where’s Tobias?” Mamm asked as Ariana hurried past her. “Is Jesse staying for supper?”
“They’re on their way. They’ll be here soon.” Ariana reached the stairs and started up, hoping Tobias would walk in before Mamm could ask more questions. She couldn’t bear the thought of her mother being upset over the accident.
“Wait,” Mamm said, and Ariana stilled. “I don’t understand. Why isn’t Tobias with you?”
Ariana swallowed. “They’re delayed.”
“Delayed?” Mamm tilted her head to the side. “What do you mean?”
“They’ll be here shortly.” Spinning on her foot, she gripped the banister and started up the stairs.
“Ariana Kathryn!” Dat’s voice boomed, and Ariana froze, gripping the banister with such force that, looking down, she saw her knuckles turn white. “Please answer your mamm before you run off.”
Ariana slowly turned back toward the kitchen. She cleared her throat, and her mother’s deep-brown eyes widened. “Tobias was in an accident, but he’s fine.”
Mamm blew out a puff of air, rushed over, and grabbed hold of Ariana’s arms. “What happened?”
“He’s fine,” Ariana repeated. “He flipped the buggy, but he’s okay. Jesse had me come home in his buggy. I brought Lester home too. Jesse thought he could figure out a way to get Tobias’s buggy home.”
“Tobias flipped the buggy?” Dat pushed the chair back and then stood before crossing the kitchen and coming to a stop in front of Ariana. “How did he flip the buggy?”
“Well, it was raining, and . . . and Tobias was going too fast,” Ariana began, her voice small and thin. “I was in Jesse’s buggy, and Tobias passed us. Jesse sped up after him, and I kept screaming for him to slow down, but he didn’t. I’ve never been so scared before.” The words tumbled out of her mouth as a tear spilled down her cheek.
“And, well, Tobias took a turn and something must have broken on the buggy because the buggy flipped onto its side. Lester kept going, dragging the buggy along until Jesse caught up to him, jumped out of his buggy, and chased him down. It was so horrible and scary. I was so afraid Tobias had been hurt.”
“Why were they going too fast?” Dat’s voice seemed to echo in the kitchen. “Both Tobias and Jesse know better than to push their horses in the rain.”
Ariana opened her mouth and then closed it. While she felt obligated to tell her father about the alcohol, she didn’t want to get her brother into more trouble than he would already face when Dat saw the condition of the buggy. Her bottom lip trembled and tears stung her eyes.
“What aren’t you telling me?” Dat demanded. “It’s obvious you’re holding something back. Tell me what it is. Now.”
“Marvin, please.” Mamm’s voice was quiet but firm. “Calm down. Can’t you tell she’s upset?” She rubbed Ariana’s arm.
Dat’s expression softened as he turned to Mamm. “I understand she’s upset, but I need to know what happened.” He focused on Ariana again, but his gaze was warmer. “Please tell me what happened.”
“They were racing,” Ariana said, her voice wobbling.
“What?” Dat exclaimed. “They were racing in the rain? They know from past experience how dangerous that can be.”
“I begged Jesse to slow down, but he wouldn’t. He just kept chasing after Tobias.” Ariana sniffed as tears poured from her eyes. “I’ve never seen Jesse so reckless and irresponsible. It was as if he was someone else and not the Jesse I know so well.” She gaped when she realized what she’d said. “But Tobias is fine, and Lester is fine,” she added quickly. “Only Tobias’s buggy was damaged in the crash.”
Dat gritted his teeth. “When will that bu learn? Last week he left the gate open and four of the cows escaped. It’s like his mind isn’t focused on the present. His head is always in the clouds.” He shoved his hands through his thinning hair. “Now he’s done this. No matter how much I instruct him to get his life together, he still disobeys me.” Grumbling, he stalked over to the table and sank into his chair. “I’ll deal with him when he gets home. Let’s eat.”
Ariana sniffed, and Mamm pulled her into a hug. “I was so scared,” she murmured into her mother’s shoulder.
“It’s all right,” Mamm whispered. “You’re home now and you’re safe. Go get changed and we’ll eat. I’m just thankful Tobias and Lester are okay.” She rubbed Ariana’s back. “Everything will be just fine.”
“Danki, Mamm.” Ariana climbed the stairs to the second floor and stepped into her room. After drying off and pulling on a fresh dress, she stood by her window and looked out past the rain, toward the road.
Ariana hoped Jesse and Tobias would be back soon. Anger simmered through her veins as the image of the vodka bottle filled her mind. When she had a moment to talk to Jesse alone, she would demand he explain why he would risk her safety for alcohol. Depending upon his answer, she’d determine if he was the man she believed would build a family with her and take care of her for the rest of her life.
CHAPTER 4
JESSE’S HEART POUNDED AS HE AND TOBIAS STEPPED INTO the Smucker family’s kitchen.
“Can you possi
bly explain why you two were racing in a storm?” Marvin demanded. “Didn’t you two learn about the dangers of racing when you were sixteen and you both wound up in the emergency room? I would think your broken arm would have taught you a lesson back then, Jesse.”
Driving rain pelted the kitchen windows, filling the heavy silence as Marvin speared Jesse and Tobias with harsh and furious eyes. In his early fifties, Marvin Smucker stood just under six feet and had graying dark hair and a matching beard. While his two children had inherited his dark hair, they had received their mother’s dark eyes instead of Marvin’s bright hazel.
“Well?” Marvin stood just inches from Jesse and Tobias. “I’m still waiting for an answer.” His voice was loud as his cheeks flushed pink with anger. “You scared Rosanna and me and also Jesse’s parents when you two raced in a storm all those years ago. Were you trying to scare us again? Or did you just forget how to act like adults?”
Jesse looked across the kitchen to where Ariana stood at the sink holding a pot suspended in the air. She glanced at him. She’d changed into a blue dress, and her hair was covered with a matching blue scarf. When their eyes met, her lips pressed together and a frown clouded her pretty face. Her dark eyes moved to Tobias and remained focused on him. Jesse suddenly had the distinct feeling Ariana was avoiding his gaze. Why would she ignore him? Did she really share her father’s belief that he had been acting like a sixteen-year-old?
Jesse folded his arms over his chest and shivered as droplets of water dripped down his face and onto his already drenched shirt. Although he’d dried off with a towel Todd had loaned him during the short drive to Marvin’s farm, Jesse had gotten soaked once again when they struggled to unload the buggy and stow it in the barn.
Beside him, Tobias leveled a hard gaze at his father, and a muscle in his jaw twitched as he cradled his right arm in his left. Jesse took in the injuries he hadn’t noticed as they were working to move the buggy in the rain. Purple-and-blue bruises stained Tobias’s right cheek, and a thin cut sliced from his temple to the bridge of his nose.