by Jane Jamison
They passed the food around until each of them had plates piled with food. Coltrane poured wine into each of their glasses, and she’d waved him into pouring more into hers. She’d refrained from drinking the past few nights, preferring to feel the pain, thinking, if she did, it might pass faster. Tonight, however, she wanted to be free. If the ache wouldn’t leave on its own, she’d force it away.
“Have you three lived here long?” She should’ve asked them about themselves earlier, and she’d heard bits and pieces about their lives, but she hadn’t asked them directly until now.
“A few years,” answered Pike. “We’re all vets, but we wanted a place of our own, stock of our own. We’re cowboys at heart and love the life.”
“How did you three meet? Other than Coltrane and Roth being related.” She sounded as though she was interviewing them, but it helped to keep her emotions under control.
“At a bar, of course.” Coltrane laughed. “We met in Rome in this shithole of a place. I got into a fight, and Pike joined in. Together we took out six other guys.”
Roth grinned. “I haven’t thought about that time in a long while. Coltrane and I are half-brothers. Coltrane’s mother died, which led to his father marrying my mother.” He gave his statement more thought. “That didn’t come out quite right, but you get the drift. After our blended family came together, he stuck by my side from that point on. I couldn’t shake him.”
“Bullshit. He was the one hanging around me.”
“Anyway, once we finished the fight, we shared a lot of booze and wound up lifelong friends,” added Pike. “There’s not much to tell after that.”
“Your turn. Tell us more about yourself and your family.” Coltrane took a sip of his drink, his gaze intense.
“Didn’t I already tell you all this?” Had she? She couldn’t remember.
“We like hearing about your life. Tell us again.” Roth’s own glass was already almost half empty. “We know you wanted to be a vet, but now you’re going to be our vet tech.”
She smiled. Meeting them was one good thing that had happened. Then, once again, memories from long ago hit her hard. “Both of my parents are dead. They died in a car accident.”
“We’re sorry, baby.”
“Any siblings, darlin’?” asked Coltrane.
“One brother.” She didn’t like talking about her family. There wasn’t much to tell that was good.
“Have you called him yet?”
Roth’s question was understandable and one Detective Garnan had asked. “No and I won’t. We haven’t been on speaking terms for years.”
“Why not?”
“Damn it, Coltrane. Have a little sensitivity.” Pike shot a hard look at him.
“He blames me for my parents’ deaths.”
“You’re kidding. Why?”
“Because he’s right. It was my fault.” Why hadn’t she realized it before now? She was responsible for several people’s deaths. “I was the one driving.”
“Shit. But it was an accident.” Roth’s words had the edge of a question to them.
“Yes, but that doesn’t make it any easier to handle. It was raining, and I lost control of the car. Dad said I was going too fast, but I didn’t listen.” Funny how she could tell them without feeling the pain she usually felt. Or was it that she’d grown accustomed to pain now?
“How old were you?” Roth seemed to be in charge of asking questions while the other two men sat back and listened.
“Sixteen. I’d just gotten my license and had talked my folks into letting me drive them to the restaurant to celebrate. My brother, Tyler, was out with friends. He was eighteen.”
Pike leaned forward, banging the front legs of the chair against the hardwood floor. “Shit. All kids make mistakes.”
“Not like that one.” She lifted her gaze from her plate to his eyes. “I killed my parents just like I killed Carly and Mrs. Carmichael. The only person’s death I won’t take the blame for is Dr. Rump’s.” It hit her then how much they were risking. “In fact, I should leave. If anything happened to any of you…” She couldn’t think that way. Not and stay sane.
“Nothing’s going to happen to us,” insisted Roth.
Tears welled in her eyes, frustrating her at her lack of control. “You don’t know that.”
“Yeah, we do.” Coltrane was as insistent as Roth was.
She laughed, but it hurt to do so. “What? Are you invincible or something?”
“Something like that.”
If she hadn’t known better, she would’ve sworn Pike was serious.
“The thing is, darlin’, you don’t need to worry about us getting hurt. We can take care of ourselves.”
They really were serious. Strangely, she believed them. “I hope you’re right.” It was selfish of her, awful of her, but she wanted to believe them. If she didn’t, she might actually have to leave and take the detective’s offer of protection. Even as terrible as it made her feel, she couldn’t bring herself to leave them. Not just because they made her feel safe, either.
She wiped away a tear, determined not to think of the other reason she didn’t want to leave the ranch. Yet, the idea was there, too big to let go.
I care about them.
It was ridiculous, of course, to think she could fall in love so fast, yet if she knew anything at all about herself, it was that she actually did know herself. She knew her feelings and didn’t question her instincts.
I care about them. A lot. I may even…Her heart fluttered in her chest, breaking through the pain squeezing it…love them.
She downed her wine, having left her dinner untouched. She was hungry, but not for food. “Take me to bed.” She almost giggled at the ensuing silence.
Chairs scraped against the floor as Coltrane and Roth rose to their feet. She began to stand but was stopped cold by Pike.
“No, sugar-pie, we can’t do that.”
She gaped at him even more than Coltrane and Roth did. Didn’t he want her any longer? From their eager expressions, his two friends sure did. “I’m sorry?”
“You’re too vulnerable right now. We shouldn’t have had sex with you in the first place.”
She was vulnerable, all right. Made even more vulnerable by his rejection. “Don’t you want me?”
Pike stood, surprise washing over his face. “More than I want to breathe.”
“Then why not?”
“Yeah, man. Why not?” Anger edged Coltrane’s voice.
Pike ignored Coltrane, his attention fixed on her. “Because we’re in this for more than a lay in the hay. You need time, and we’re going to give it to you.”
“Even if it kills us,” added Roth, finally going along with Pike.
“Thanks, sugar-pie, for the dinner, but we’ve got some business to attend to.”
“Wait. You’re going to leave me alone? Is that safe?”
“The ranch is the safest place on the planet, but don’t worry, though. We have someone watching over the place, and we won’t be gone long.”
“Who?” She glanced around as though expecting to see an armed guard standing on the porch. “Where?”
“If you saw him, he wouldn’t be doing his job.” Pike motioned for the other two men to follow him, with Coltrane hesitating for a moment then reluctantly following him through the living room and out the front door.
She remained where she was, too surprised and confused to move for a while. At last, however, she began to gather the uneaten food.
For more than a lay.
The words kept tumbling over and over in her mind. At long last, they made it to her heart.
They cared for her. But did they care for her as much as she cared for them? Would she find out? Or would recent awful events stand in their way forever?
Cleaning up the leftover dinner didn’t take long. After filling a few Tupperware containers, washing the pots and pan, then loading the dishwasher, she decided to pour yet another glass of wine. She took her glass along with the bottle
of wine and went to stand in front of the large window in the living room. Searching as hard as she could, she still couldn’t see anyone who might be watching over her. Had Pike lied to make her feel safe? Or was there an unseen guardian outside?
“Hello? Is anyone there?” Feeling kind of ridiculous, she lifted her hand and did a little wave to the outside darkness. As she’d expected, she didn’t get an answer.
Why did the men have to leave? She loved the ranch and wished she could see more of it, but they’d refused to take her around their large spread. For safety reasons, she was allowed to stay only near the house and the barn.
Her gaze slid from across the yard. All three of their vehicles were still parked where they’d left them, meaning they’d either walked or ridden on horseback to wherever they’d gone. Where would they have gone in the night without a car?
She had many questions to ask them. Questions she should’ve asked sooner, but she’d been too overwhelmed with her troubles to do so.
What was with the red in their eyes? Was it a trick of the light? She doubted it, but what other reason could there be?
What about the fire in the barn? None of them had been smoking or doing anything with matches. And why had the flames surrounded the place where they’d had sex?
The idea was silly, but she would’ve sworn she’d seen thin streams of smoke coming out from between their lips. Maybe they actually had been smoking. That would explain both the smoke and the fire, but why hadn’t she seen the cigarettes?
Why did they sound like they growled at times? Almost as though they were animals.
Yes, she had questions to ask, but before tonight, she’d pushed them aside, her grief consuming her. Tomorrow she’d get answers. Until then, she’d try to relax and keep the painful thoughts from coming again.
The night sky was clear, and the stars were shining brightly. She sighed and couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like to go for a stroll under those stars. Would she go with all three of them or one at a time? She’d be happy either way.
“This sucks.” She’d never liked being alone, which was why she’d always had a roommate. Carly’s face flashed through her memory.
No. Don’t go there. Not right now.
After downing her wine, she poured herself another drink and then turned the chair around to face the window. They’d as good as said they wanted her. Not for a short romp, but for longer. But how much longer? A week? A month? A year? Even longer? With her life in turmoil, she needed something good to cling to. Could that something good be the men?
She sat there for a while, slowly draining the bottle. The wine warmed her, pushing away the chill being alone gave her. She tried again, even while knowing it was useless. Lifting the glass, she asked, “Want a glass?” And again, no answer. Still alone.
At least the night sky is pretty.
She leaned back in the chair and studied one of the brighter stars. Were there other lifeforms in the galaxy? If so, were they friendlier than some humans? Did they have violence and murder on their planets? She frowned, disliking the way her thoughts ran.
What is that?
A ripple effect had passed in front of the star. It was like watching a sound wave on a science television show or heat rising off hot blacktop. Maybe a very thin cloud that gave an illusion of waves?
She put the glass down on the floor next to where she’d placed the bottle. No, it wasn’t any of those things. Plus, it had widened, tripling in size. Getting to her feet, she flattened her hands against the windowpane and squinted at the sight. For a brief moment, too quickly for her to really be sure, she could’ve sworn she saw wings.
Oh, man, I’ve had too much to drink again.
It was definitely time for bed. Although she doubted she could sleep until the men came home—guard or no guard—she could lock the bedroom door behind her, get ready for bed, and then read until either the men or sleep took her.
Hopefully, they’d change their mind and take her.
Yet she couldn’t take her eyes off the shimmers. Were they coming closer?
Wishing she had binoculars, she followed the strange apparition until it went out of sight behind the barn. She glanced around, again looking for the elusive guard.
Who would know if she hurried over to the barn to check it out? It wasn’t as though she’d actually find anything. More than likely, the shimmering effect hadn’t actually gone behind the barn. Instead, it had probably simply disappeared, no doubt something to do with getting closer to the ground.
I’m going for it.
She’d just turned toward the door when she saw the men striding around the side of the barn. On impulse, she jumped away from the window and pressed against the wall so she could peek around the corner at them.
Where had they come from? And where had they gone for “business” that they hadn’t needed to drive? Instead of waiting to get answers, she bounded up the stairs toward her bedroom. The last thing she needed tonight was another rejection.
Chapter Nine
Harper resolved to get answers to her questions. She’d ease into them and hope the men didn’t think she’d lost her mind. How did someone ask a person if they had smoke coming out of their mouth? Or red flecks in their eyes? If they didn’t laugh at her, they might just ask her to leave.
“This is good.” Coltrane patted the couch cushion next to him.
She smiled as she settled into the chair next to the couch. He frowned and then took a sip of his beer. “Yeah, it is.”
Pike hesitated before joining Coltrane while Roth leaned against the fireplace. She could easily imagine him standing there during the cold winter nights. Would she still be on the ranch in the winter? Seeing the plains covered in pristine white snow would be amazing. She sipped on her soft drink—she was determined to stay completely sober—and wondered if she’d ever be able to convince them to make snow angels with her.
“How are you doing?” asked Roth.
It was a casual question, but she knew what he was really asking. She told him the truth. “Better.” She doubted she’d ever be able to think of Carly and Mrs. Carmichael without hurting, but hopefully, one day, the good memories would overshadow the bad one.
“They say time heals all wounds, but it’s not true.”
She nodded, agreeing with Pike. “No, but maybe time helps ease the pain.”
“It does.” The look in Coltrane’s eyes was far away.
“So you’ve lost someone you loved?” As much as she disliked herself for thinking so, she held her breath. Please don’t let it be a lost lover.
“We’ve lived long enough to have lost a lot of people we cared for.” Roth cleared his throat. “It doesn’t get any easier, but you learn to cope with it. What other choice do you have?”
“True.” She took a sip and stared into the fireplace, imagining a roaring fire. “Can I ask you some questions?”
“Sure thing. Ask away,” answered Coltrane.
“These questions might sound stupid, but I’ve got to ask.”
“Shoot, darlin’.”
She had to see their reactions as much as to hear their answers. “I saw red flecks in your eyes.”
“That’s not a question.”
She shot Coltrane a sharp look. “Don’t play games. I really want answers.”
“How about we hear all the questions?” Roth crossed his arms and leaned against the fireplace. “I have a feeling they’ll all have the same answer.”
“I don’t think so.” How could they?
“Humor me and give it a try.”
“Fine, but you’ll still answer all of them?”
“It feels a little like we’re being interrogated.” Pike sat forward. “Have you heard anything from the detective?”
“Are you trying to change the subject?” She shook her head. “No. I haven’t heard anything.”
“We should go to the precinct and get answers.”
“Speaking of answers…” She cocked an eyebrow at Pike. �
��Here are the questions.” Drawing in a long breath, she asked them quickly. “Why do your eyes get red in them? How did a fire start in the barn, in the hay right around where we were lying? Why did I see smoke coming out of your mouths? And why do you make growling sounds?”
“You weren’t kidding when you said you had questions.” Coltrane chuckled. “Tell her, Pike.”
Pike didn’t seem surprised that Coltrane had pushed the job of answering onto him. “Before I answer those questions, let me ask you one.”
That wasn’t the agreement, but if it got her a step closer to getting answers, then she didn’t mind. “Okay. Ask.”
“Do you believe in dragons?”
“What?” Was he playing with her? Making fun of her because she’d asked outlandish questions? “I’m not kidding. I really did see red in your eyes and all the rest.”
Coltrane stared hard at her. “He’s not kidding. Do you believe in dragons or not?”
“No, of course not.” Yes. Because I saw one.
“Maybe that’s not the right question to ask.” Roth knelt next to her chair.
Warmth rippled in the air around her. Every time she was near them, the temperature went up. Every time she was near them, her heart pounded faster. And every time she was near them, she wanted more than anything to rip off her clothes and beg them to fuck her.
“Tell us, Harper, if you fell in love with a man who looked different than most men, would you still love him?”
“Are you asking me if looks are more important than anything else?” Did they think she was that shallow? “If so, then the answer is that I don’t think looks are important at all. I mean—” How could she say this without telling them how she felt? She swallowed hard. “If a man is great looking—”
“Like me?” Roth smiled.
“Sexy?” added Coltrane.
“Hotter than hell?” came Pike.
“—all of the above, then it’s great, but that’s not why I’d fall for any man.”