by Nikki Chase
My core clenches at the thought of his hand on the back of my skull, tilting my head so he can ravish my lips.
Instead, he just rests his hand on the back of my chair. His closeness is intoxicating. The moment feels like it stretches on forever, with our eyes locked on each other, but in reality it probably only lasts a few seconds.
“Thank you for the breakfast, Alice,” Seth says after a long, intense pause.
He turns around and walks away from the table, breaking the magic. I exhale, realizing I’d been holding in my breath.
Jesus, I need to keep it together.
This is work. I can’t be spending my time imagining the boss kissing me. I’ve learned firsthand how a workplace affair can turn the kitchen into fiery hell.
How will I get through my days here, if something as simple as a shared breakfast leaves me so agitated?
Alice
“Alice!” Emily shouts over the phone, making me wince from how loud it is.
“Hey, Em. Good to hear your voice again.” I lower the volume of the phone. This is unusual. Most of the time, we communicate over texts.
“Guess what? I have big news!”
“I figured. Something you can’t tell me over a text?” I have an inkling what the news could be, but I don’t really want to say it out loud.
“Yep. Come on, make a guess.”
“I’ve had a long day, Em. Could you please just tell me?” I lie. I haven’t had a long day, but if this news is what I think it is….
“Aw, you’re no fun, but okay.” She pauses for dramatic effect. “I’m pregnant!” She screams, forcing me to lower the volume again.
“Wow! Congratulations!” I exclaim, trying to hype myself up and show some excitement. “You and Cole must be so excited!”
“We are! We literally just found out, like, ten minutes ago. I had to tell you right away!”
“I’m so happy for you. You’re going to be such a good mom.”
“Oh, I don’t know about that…” Emily laughs. She sounds happy.
I had my reservations about Cole at first, but he makes Emily happy and that’s all that matters. This baby will only make them happier.
“How’s the new job?” Emily asks.
“Oh, it’s going well. You’re not going to believe how big this house is, seriously. It’s literally a mansion.”
“And the pay is really good as well, right?”
“Yeah. He’s paying me a lot more than The Local ever did.”
“What’s his name again? This is the same guy who used to come see you every week?”
“Seth. He didn’t ‘come see me’; he went for the food. He was a regular. ”
“Alice, I’m telling you, there’s nothing regular about the way he’s acting. He’s obviously into you,” she says with conviction.
“I don’t know, Em. I don’t even see him that much. In the week that I’ve worked here, I’ve shared one breakfast with him. The rest of the time, I have no idea where he is.”
“So you’re saying you want to spend more time with him.”
“Stop trying to analyze me,” I say. “He’s into my food. Maybe I’m just that good and you just don’t know it.”
“I don’t know, Alice. Sounds to me like he wants more than your cooking.” She giggles. “I told Cole about your situation with Seth, and he agrees with me. The guy is totally into you.”
“Hey, I never agreed to having Cole analyze my love life, either,” I protest.
“Okay, so that means you’re admitting that this Seth guy is part of your love life now?”
“That’s not what I said at all.” I can almost hear Emily and Cole exchanging looks in the short pause that follows.
“Sure, let me know what happens in a few weeks. I bet he’ll make a move,” Emily says. “Hey, you think you can visit me any time soon? I’m going to shop for baby clothes and a crib and stuff, and I really want to do it with my sister.”
“I don’t know, you did violate the sister-sister confidentiality privilege when you told Cole about Seth.”
Alice laughs. “Hey, if you have nothing to hide, you wouldn’t have minded. You never cared about me telling Cole about your work.”
“Yeah, okay, whatever.” I join her in laughter. “You know, I just started this job a minute ago, so I don’t know if it’s a good idea to leave now.”
“Yeah, I understand. It’s my turn to visit you anyway, but since you got rid of your apartment, I wouldn’t have anywhere to stay. And it would suck to have to fly back to Seattle with a crib and a big suitcase full of baby stuff. Can you imagine? It’s hard enough to travel without all those things.”
“Yeah, you’re right. Sorry, Em. Maybe in a couple months?”
“Sure. No biggie. I’m just…” Alice takes a deep breath. “I’m a little worried about you, you know? I told you it wasn’t a good idea to see Fred. How are you doing?”
“I’m fine. I’m actually doing really good,” I say. “Honestly, Em, I needed that conversation to really know for sure it’s a good move to finally break things off, once and for all.”
“I hope you’re right. It’s just, I’ve heard you say that before.”
“I know. But this time it’s for real, okay? I’m done with him.”
“Wanna tell me more about what happened at the coffee shop? I mean, you did tell me a little bit, but that was over text.”
“No, really. I’m done thinking about Fred, talking about Fred, overanalyzing Fred’s actions. I’m sick of all the drama and I don’t want to talk about him at all.”
“Good,” Emily says.
“Yeah, it’s kind of overdue.”
“Could this have something to do with Seth?” Emily’s voice drips with mischief.
“I’m rolling my eyes, but then I remembered you can’t see my face.”
“Okay, fine, I’m done teasing you. Hey, I have to go. Let me know when you can get away so we can shop for baby stuff, okay?”
“Will do,” I say before we say our goodbyes and hang up the phone.
I drag air into my constricted lungs. What is wrong with me?
I’m happy for Emily. Of course I am. She’s my sister. Whatever makes her happy, makes me happy. I’m happy she’s having a baby with her husband, who totally dotes on her.
It’s just hard for me to… I don’t know how to put this without coming across as an ugly person. But I kind of envy Emily.
I mean, there she is, with a kick-ass hotel executive job, a great husband, and a baby on the way. All the perfect little pieces of her perfect life are falling into place.
Meanwhile, I just ended things with my stupid waste-of-time ex; I just quit my job abruptly, potentially hurting my relationship with my previous employer; and I’m thirty-one now, so the eggs in my ovaries are probably rotting away at record speed.
They say some kind of a life crisis would hit at thirty. It didn’t come last year, but I think it’s finally here. I’m questioning all my life decisions.
My plans for the future seem crazy, even to myself. I don’t know if I’m being realistic at all.
Basically, I’m here for the money, hoping I’ll quickly have enough to start my own business, but entrepreneurship is risky, right? I read somewhere that only one out of ten businesses make it. Entrepreneurs are also often anxious, stressed out, and suicidal.
I have made a name for myself in certain circles. Foodies know my name and like my cooking. The restaurant industry is cut-throat, though, and I have no idea if I have what it takes to make it. There’s only one way to find out, and that is to try doing it, but it’s scary and uncertain.
What I’m trying to say is, I don’t know if, being in this position, I can see Emily face to face and genuinely be happy for her. I’m pulling my whole life apart, without knowing if I can put it back together again, when she’s basically cruising through life right now.
Sure, she has worked hard to get to where she is, but I have, too. And it kind of stings that I’m nowhere near wher
e she is in life.
I put my palms over my face. I feel horrible that I would even have these thoughts about my own sister.
I wonder if she’s right, if Seth actually wants me in that way.
To be honest, that wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. He’s gorgeous, wealthy, and there’s something about him that pulls me in.
At the same time, I don’t know if giving into that basic impulse would be the wisest decision I can make. No matter how hot Seth is, he’s still my boss. I’d be risking this job if I were to get romantically involved with him.
My stomach flutters when I remember the look he gave me at the dining table last week. That was the one and only meal we’ve shared so far.
Maybe I’m a bad dining companion, or maybe he’s just busy.
I haven’t seen him much, although I prepare every one of his meals and leave them in the kitchen with reheating instructions. Alejandra tells me that’s how he wants it because his working hours are irregular.
Personally, I don’t know what the point is of hiring a chef if he’s not even going to eat the food as soon as it’s ready. I mean, why not order take-outs instead?
But, I don’t know, maybe he has money to waste. I’ve never had that kind of budget for food, or for anything, really.
Or maybe there are just no takeouts in the area. I forget sometimes that we’re not in the city anymore.
I lie down on the queen-sized bed. It feels big and empty.
My old bed was a double. It has already been donated, along with all the other big furniture in my apartment. Seth’s people took care of all that for me. It’s nice to have people taking care of stuff like that. I could really get used to this.
My mind keeps replaying that scene from the breakfast with Seth, reminding me of his smoldering eyes, sending tingles straight to the juncture of my legs.
I didn’t imagine that searing stare, did I? I’ve been spending the whole week wondering if the moment we shared was just wishful thinking on my part—not that it would be a good idea to get involved with my boss.
Well, good thing anything can happen in my imagination, with no consequences.
I move my hand down into my panties and find it already soaked with my arousal. I’m not surprised anymore. It’s the same at the end of every night. Just knowing that Seth is under the same roof and thinking about meeting him again gets my blood rushing.
I run my fingers over my folds, spreading my wetness. With my other hand, I slide off my shorts and panties, imagining it’s Seth’s big, masculine hands yanking them down my legs.
In my mind, he stares at me with those intense blue eyes, looking with amusement at my heavy breathing. I knead my tits and pinch my nipples, imagining it’s him using his hands and mouth on my body.
A small moan escapes my lips as my fingers circle my clit. I think about Seth stroking me, pressing his hard erection into my side to show me how much I’m turning him on.
When I push two fingers inside, they go in smoothly because I’m already so wet. It doesn’t take long for my muscles to start clenching around my fingers. Soon, I ride the wave of an orgasm, my fingers clutching onto the bedsheets.
My lips part, and I hear myself moan, “Oh, Seth.”
Seth
I wake up with a raging hard-on in my pants. I jerked myself off before going back to sleep, but even in my dream I was haunted by Alice's moans last night.
She called my name. Holy shit.
I’ve been avoiding Alice since that first breakfast.
She looked so sensual when she was eating. The way she licked her lips made my cock stir under the table. There was one moment when I almost grabbed her by the hair.
I wanted so much to steal a kiss from her, crush those full lips until they're wet and red and ready for my cock. I thought I saw the same want in her big blue eyes, but I didn't want to be rash. Everything was already complicated enough as it was.
But what I heard through the surveillance system last night, that changed things.
Now I’ve got to have her.
I don't care if it's a complication.
I want to get my hands on that luscious body of hers, plunge my cock deep inside, and make her moan my name again.
Fuck, I’m completely rock hard again, just thinking about it. You’d think I was a horny teenage boy, the way I get when I think about Alice. I can't wait to fuck her for real.
I check the time on my phone. Fuck, I don't have any time to indulge in my dirty fantasies. I jump out of bed, take a quick shower, and head for the kitchen.
I expect to see Alice’s neatly packaged meal with the yellow Post-It of re-heating instructions on the counter. I made Alejandra tell Alice to prepare the food at certain hours. I’d been avoiding the kitchen around those times because I didn’t want to cave into temptation and give in to Alice’s enticing curves.
After what I heard last night, though, I can’t keep a distance from her. She obviously wants me, too.
My eyebrows jump up when I see Alice standing in the kitchen, apparently waiting for me.
“Wasn't expecting to see you this morning,” I say.
“Yeah, I’ve been waiting for you,” she says, holding up the familiar brown paper bag with the yellow Post-It stuck on top.
“You’re even wearing your uniform.” I let my gaze roam all over her body, lingering over her tits—her left one in particular, on which there’s a pocket with my initials. Like I said, she’s mine. There’s even my name on her.
“Yeah,” she says with a shy smile.
“Thank you.” I take the paper bag, purposely grazing her hand.
She takes a sharp breath, then diverts her gaze away and tucks her blonde hair behind her ear. She says, “No problem.”
“So, why were you waiting for me? Miss me?” I step closer until she's only inches away from me.
Her breathing gets heavier, almost imperceptibly. “Uh, I have something to ask you.”
“Ask away.” I reach up and tuck a few stray strands of hair behind her ear.
My lips curl up as I watch her cheeks grow red. I want to slide my hand over her cheek and feel the heat of her skin, then steal a kiss from those full lips, but I restrain myself.
That will have to wait until she's ready. Perhaps when we have more time. Tonight, maybe.
“Uh, I know I’ve only just started to work here,” Alice says as she looks up, meeting my gaze at last, with a mixture of lust and apprehension in her blue eyes. “I have a sister, and we’re really close. Her name’s Emily. She lives in Seattle.”
My smile widens as I watch her. I already know about her sister. I just like watching her blurt out her words all at once when she's nervous, and I like the fact that I’m the one making her lose her composure.
“Go on,” I say.
“Well, Emily got pregnant.”
“Okay.”
“Which is good, by the way. It's not like, ‘Oh no, she got pregnant and now she needs help.’” Alice laughs uncomfortably.
“Uh-huh.” I nod.
“She's married and she wants kids, so this is good news,” she says. “Anyway, I’m wondering if I could take a few days off to visit her to celebrate and help prepare for the baby.”
Damn it.
I know Alice's sister is pregnant, but on the phone last night, she said she wasn't going to visit. Of course this would happen on the day I decide to do something about the strange, crazy, lust-filled attraction between us.
“I don’t know. Like you said, you’ve only just started working here,” I say, hoping that will be enough to deter her.
“I know. I’ve thought of everything. I’ll be gone for a week, so I’ll prepare some sauces in the freezer and leave Ana with the instructions for putting everything together exactly the way I do it. You won’t even know I’m gone.”
I inhale deeply.
“Okay, let me put it this way,” she says. “You don’t even see me most days, so it’ll be exactly the same for you. Tell me what your
concerns are so I can think of some solutions. What is it that I can do that Ana can’t do instead? Keep in mind it’s just for one week.”
Shit. I can’t think of any good reason not to let her go. Not when I’m ambushed like this.
There's no way for her not to find out eventually, so maybe it’s time to rip the Band-Aid off.
“Okay, sure,” I say with a practiced smile. I need to buy some time. I can't let her know anything’s wrong for at least a few hours.
“Really?” Alice clasps her hands together and beam at me.
“Yeah, just let Alejandra know your travel dates so she can make the arrangements.”
“You’re the best boss ever.” Alice throws her arms around me.
The scent of vanilla and cinnamon enters my nostrils. I’m surprised by this sudden show of affection, but it’s not like I mind. I breathe her in, letting her essence seep into my bloodstream, pumping a shot of testosterone into my system.
I slide my hand up her back, over her uniform shirt. My fingertips trace her lines, her curves, the back of her bra. My fingers touch the ends of her hair and I fight the urge to grab and pull.
What is wrong with me, that I need to dominate and hurt a woman to get off?
Oh, my angel, you're in trouble and you don't even know it.
With this latest development, I won't be able to take Alice tonight, but it will happen.
“Thank you so much.” Alice slowly pulls away from the hug shyly, looking like she’s surprised by her own reaction. “I’ll talk to Alejandra as soon as I find the tickets.”
She smiles at me with longing in her eyes. It makes me want to bend her over and fuck her right here, right now.
Too bad I really have to go right now. If it wasn't literally a matter of life and death, I would've cleared my schedule and spent the whole day trying to get Alice into my bed.
“See you later,” I say, melancholy cooling my blood. She's not going to look at me the same way ever again.
I walk out of the front door, get into my car, and drive through of the gate.
Looking around me, I think about how much freedom I have, despite all the bad things I’ve done. And yet, Alice is the one who’s going to lose her freedom tonight, although she hasn't done anything wrong.