by Nikki Chase
I have no idea what actually happened inside that office, but I know it wasn’t good. I know we’re in even deeper trouble than we already were.
Once we’re all seated inside the car and all the doors are closed, Mom sobs into her palms. Dad just sits there with his hands on the steering wheel, staring into the distance, not even bothering to turn on the ignition.
“Mom, Dad,” I say softly as I lean forward and pop my head between the two front seats. “I can sell my iPod on Craigslist and get a part-time job.”
“No!” Mom cries out, her voice shaking. “You’re a child. Be a child.”
“But Mom—”
“I said no,” she repeats. Despite the obvious tremor in her voice, her words are firm. “I may not be able to get that…man to listen to me. But my own daughter will listen to me.”
I lean back in my seat and keep my mouth shut. We sit there, the silence only occasionally broken when Mom catches her breath in between her quiet weeping.
The air, already somber from the mood, gets more and more suffocating as the oxygen gets replaced by the carbon dioxide we breathe out.
Finally, Dad turns on the engine. As we drive home, the air gradually gets lighter, but the atmosphere remains grave.
We bring that same mood into the house, where it remains, hanging in the air. It feels like that one summer when there was a dead rat slowly decomposing in the vent, spreading the smell of death throughout our living space.
Too bad we can’t just call someone to get rid of this dark, heavy atmosphere.
Megan
“I thought you’d be asleep by now,” Ethan says in the darkness, making me jump in shock. When I twist around to look at him, he’s smiling. “Sorry.”
“It’s okay. It’s just… I didn’t hear you.” I widen my eyes to make out his silhouette in the dark.
There’s some light from outside that filters in through the glass walls, but not much. The neon signs on the skyscrapers around us are bright. But beyond the buildings, the ocean looms, dark and terrifying, reaching up to drag the night sky into its depths.
Suddenly, I get self-conscious about the clothes I’m wearing. Normally, when I see Ethan at the office, I’m in a nice blouse, tight pencil skirt, and heels. Tonight, I’m dressed for bed in a pair of hot-pink shorts and a black oversized shirt that I got for free from some writing competition at college.
I’m not the only one who looks different tonight. Ethan is wearing a white T-shirt with faded stains and a pair of grey sweatpants that leave little to the imagination.
My gaze travels to the bulge that’s clearly outlined by the fabric. Heat sears across my cheeks. Luckily, he can’t see the color of my face in this darkness.
“If you’re wondering about what the hell I’m wearing, I can explain.” Ethan pulls the bottom of his shirt away from his muscular body, stretching the fabric. He walks down the hallway, approaching me. “I got these stains from watching Penny draw with some watercolors. I guess I wasn’t staying far enough from her. But this shirt is so comfortable I can’t bring myself to throw it away.”
As Ethan stops just a few inches from me, my heart pounds in my chest, so hard I can almost hear the beats.
This feels intimate, to see each other in the dark at two in the morning, when most of the city is asleep.
It evokes the kind of magic I used to feel whenever I was having sleepovers as a teenager. I’m very aware of the fact that I’m not at home, which makes it hard for me to fully relax. At the same time, this is better than home, in other ways.
“Can’t sleep?” Ethan asks.
“Yeah.” I can’t tell him I’ve been tossing and turning, thinking about him for the last three hours. Specifically, thinking about something he did eight years ago, something he probably doesn’t even remember.
I realize I saw the incident through the lens of a girl whose parents were desperate and were turned away by an unsympathetic man.
But I hadn’t heard the story from that man’s side. And I hadn’t ever revisited or revised my position on the matter, despite how long it had been.
If I’m going to be an objective reporter of facts, I’d have to give equal weight to all sides.
At the time, Ethan must’ve been dealing with difficult problems of his own. Penny was living with Ashley, being neglected and used as a weapon against her own dad. Ethan had just recovered from a deadly illness.
He needed to earn a lot of money, so he could hire someone to get Penny back. He would’ve done anything to get there.
So he listened to his business sense when considering proposals like the one my parents had put forward, instead of choosing to work with people with the saddest sob stories.
There’s nothing wrong with maximizing profits. That’s the whole premise of capitalism. Arguably, there’s nothing more American than that.
But what does that mean for my mission? What have I even been doing this whole time, if Ethan hasn’t even done anything wrong?
“It’s nice to just stand here and look out there when you can’t sleep,” Ethan says, breaking the silence again.
“Yeah.” I pretend like I’m busy staring out at the city, but from the corners of my eyes I can see Ethan gazing at me with desire in his darkened eyes.
I want him, but at the same time, he scares the hell out of me—not because I think he would deliberately hurt me, but because of how he makes me feel.
I may be a virgin, but I’ve kissed enough boys to know that what we have isn’t normal. I feel like I could get burned if he gets any closer, even if he doesn’t mean me any harm, even if he’s careful.
At the same time, I want him to consume me.
“You know, I’ve been meaning to ask you…” Ethan lets his words hang in the air, filling the silence with thick tension. He knows I know what he wants to talk about. “I’ve been meaning to ask you something.”
“Yeah?”
Ethan chuckles. “That’s the third time you’ve responded with ‘yeah.’ Only your inflection is different.”
“Sorry.” I turn to face him. As our eyes meet, I realize I shouldn’t have looked directly at him.
“It’s okay. I don’t usually like to talk much when it’s this late, too. But like I said, it’s different with you, and I can’t understand why,” he says. His stare is too intense. He doesn’t hide the fact that he wants me at all.
With great difficulty, I tear my gaze off him and focus my vision outside instead, where the city lights are shining so bright they block out the stars.
“So, this question…” Ethan takes a couple of steps in the dark until he’s standing right behind me. “Last night. I’ve been wondering why you left.”
“I just… I didn’t think it was a good idea.” I bit my lip as I listen to Ethan’s regular breathing. His presence, his nearness, makes my heart race.
“Why not?” He gathers my hair and sweeps it to the front, over my right shoulder. I hold my breath as my hair tumbles down my chest. The tips of Ethan’s fingers graze lightly against the base of my neck, making my hairs stand on end.
“I… Uh… This… We’re supposed to be… This is just pretend,” I say, stumbling all over my words. It’s a difficult thing to discuss, for sure, but his breath on the back of my neck isn’t helping me focus.
“It doesn’t have to be.” Ethan leans closer until his mouth is almost touching my neck.
I keep expecting to feel him on my skin, but there’s only the heat emanating from his body.
When he brushes his lips lightly against my exposed neck, my breath catches in my throat.
“What do you mean?” I ask when I finally find my voice. I sound breathless and a little hoarse. It’s kinda sexy, if I may say so myself. But I feel vulnerable, knowing Ethan can manipulate my body into unfamiliar responses.
“I mean, we can turn this into anything we like.” Ethan wraps his arms around my waist, and I realize he’s got me trapped. Not because I can’t leave, but because I don’t want to.
> “Anything?” It feels too good here. It’s warm and safe. At the same time, my nerve endings are wide awake, waiting for Ethan to light them up with pleasure.
“Anything.” Ethan puts one hand in my hair and makes a fist, pulling my head to the side. He leans in and claims my neck with his mouth, kissing my skin and biting my flesh.
“Ethan,” I sigh, surprising myself with the lust in my voice. My breath fogs up the glass in front of me. There’s more I want to say, but the words won’t come out.
“I love it when you call my name like that,” he says between kisses.
“Ethan, we shouldn’t be doing this,” I finish my sentence.
“I don’t know. It feels to me like this is exactly what we should be doing.” He raises his free hand up to squeeze my breast through the thin fabric of my shirt. Without a bra in the way, he can freely roam all over my tits and the valley between them. Lightly pinching my nipple, he says, “Look how hard your nipples already are.”
I look down to find out he’s right. They’re like little pebbles poking through my shirt. I never sleep with a bra, and now I’m regretting it. But I must admit I’m also enjoying this.
“Penny might wake up,” I say.
“It’s nice of you to think about her,” he says teasingly. “Don’t worry, she’s a heavy sleeper. She has never woken up to wander in the middle of the night.”
“What if she needs to go to the bathroom?”
“She has her own en-suite,” Ethan says. Of course she does.
I shiver as Ethan’s lips ravage my neck and his hand plays with my tits. When his other hand travels down my belly, I realize I’ve been tilting my head on my own, giving him access to do as he likes with a vulnerable part of my body.
“If you tell me to leave, I will,” Ethan whispers in my ear. He pulls the crotch of my shorts to the side and puts his hot palm over my panties. He starts rubbing lightly and I moan in response. He says, “But I think you want me to stay. Don’t you, wifey?”
“I…” My voice trails off, turning into gasping hitches as Ethan puts more pressure on my pussy. I can feel the heat of his hand and the ridges of his fingers. Nobody has ever touched me like that before, and I want more, even though I have no idea what “more” is.
“Why don’t you just give in to your own desire? You know you want it.” Ethan continues to deliver dose after dose of pleasure straight to my center.
I gasp when Ethan’s fingers find my clit. He zeroes in on it, lightly running over it, making me shiver and whimper.
“Tell me,” he says.
“I don’t… I just… I don’t do that.” My head feels light as happy hormones flood my brain. I’m getting giddy from Ethan’s skillful ministrations.
“Don’t do what?” Ethan asks more insistently. “Don’t fuck?”
I bite my lower lip, afraid I’m going to tell him more, afraid to show him my cards. I don’t want him to judge me for my inexperience. I want—no, I need him to continue seeing me as an object of desire.
“Don’t you ever fuck, Megan?” Ethan asks as he eases up on the pressure on my clit. When he still doesn’t hear a response, he takes his hand off me and repeats the same question with different words. “Are you a virgin?”
I whimper. Without even thinking, I thrust my hips forward into his hand, begging for more. I need his touch. I was just starting to get addicted to it.
“Tell me, and I’ll make it worth your while.” Ethan rests his hand over my pussy, letting me feel the heat of his skin while also cruelly reminding me: that’s all I’m getting.
I shamelessly rock my hips back and forth, grinding myself against his palm, but he keeps pulling his hand further and further away.
“All you have to do is say yes or no, Megan. Are you a virgin?” Ethan asks again, making it clear that he’s not taking my silence as an answer.
I hesitate. But with release just out of reach, I can’t simply walk away now. Bracing myself for any reaction from him, I admit, “Yes.”
“That’s a good girl,” Ethan says, and for some reason those little words make me want to please him even more.
To my disappointment, he takes his hand away. Has he just been teasing me? Is he about to abandon me when I’m high and dry, just because I’m inexperienced?
Ethan removes all doubt about his intentions when he takes the hem of my shirt and pulls it up from behind me, yanking it off. He grabs my breasts and pulls on my nipples as he nibbles on my earlobes. I let out a big sigh.
But soon his hands pull away. He gets down on the floor and pushes my legs apart. I have no idea what he has in mind, but I know now that it's useless to resist. I'm already betrayed by my own body.
Ethan sits between my legs and trail kisses up my inner thighs. I squirm. It kinda tickles, but it's also tantalizing. I can't help but want more of whatever he’s doing.
When his lips reach the top of my thighs, he stares straight into my eyes as he puts his mouth over my pussy. He watches me as he lets me feel his heat through my shorts and panties.
I’m going crazy with desire. And even though he's the one down on the floor, I feel exposed and vulnerable, like he's the one who's holding all the cards. I look away, unable to maintain the intense eye contact as my hips begin to move of their own accord, pushing forward into his mouth.
My face grows hot, but so does my whole body. I stare straight ahead, letting the city skyline fill my vision as I avoid Ethan’s penetrating gaze.
We’re so high up I can’t see any one person clearly, although I could just make out little dark figures, walking on the streets thirty floors below us, or pacing the offices a couple of blocks away.
To the people outside, Ethan and I are probably just dark specks against the slightly darker background of this apartment, where none of the lights are turned on.
Still, I can’t help but think there might be someone watching. Perhaps someone just happens to look this way by accident and catch a glimpse of my bare breasts. With a powerful zoom lens, someone could be watching us.
The thought fills me with shame and apprehension. But at the same time, a thrill runs down my spine, amplifying the tingles in my core.
I glance down as Ethan pulls away. He gives me a smirk and leans back on the glass as he yanks down my shorts and panties, stripping me naked for the whole city of San Francisco to see.
It’s not likely that anyone’s watching, of course, but I feel more naked than I ever have, and not just because this is the first time a man sees me without a thread covering my body.
Ethan’s a high-profile public figure. If someone were to get some pictures of us being intimate against the glass wall, they could end up on the gossip magazines. Worse still, they could end up on the Internet, where they would stay forever; anybody would be able to find them with just a quick Google search.
But I don’t have the brain power to think about those things. Right now, I’m just an animal running on instincts.
“You’re so wet. I can’t wait to taste you,” Ethan says.
I whimper, begging him to do it.
Ethan grabs my ass with both hands and tugs me close. I fall forward with my palms and my nipples against the cold, hard glass. It’s such a contrast with Ethan’s breaths, falling soft and hot on my pussy. He grazes his lips against my lower lips, and my whole body shudders.
I’m not in charge anymore; lust has taken full control of my body.
“Tell me what you want me to do,” he demands.
My mind swirls. He wants me to say it out loud? What do I even say? What words do I use?
“If you don’t say it, that’s okay. I’m pretty comfortable sitting here all night,” he threatens.
I can feel every little graze, every little vibration of his lips. But I want more. I need more. “Ethan, please.”
“Please what?” Ethan asks, a sly smile in his voice.
“Please. Do it.”
“Do what? Tell me.” He reaches his hand up to pinch my nipple, making me gasp
and thrust my hips forward.
“What you said you were going to do,” I say between heavy breaths.
“Which is…?”
“You said… You said you were going to…taste me.”
“Yeah. You want that?”
“Yeah.”
“You want me to kiss you,” he says as his lips land on my pussy, “and lick you?” he runs his tongue from my opening up to the top of my folds, making me shudder once again. The glass wall feels warmer now from my body heat, and my breath makes it hard for me to look outside—not that I care anymore.
“Yeah,” I respond breathlessly.
“You want me to suck your pussy,” he says as he takes my folds into his wet, warm mouth, “and eat you out?” Ethan pulls away. Pushing my hips back and leaning back on the glass, he raises his gaze to watch me.
“Yeah,” I say, not quite meeting his darkened eyes.
“Say it.”
“I want you…to eat me out.”
“Well, since you asked so nicely… Okay,” Ethan says.
Without any more warning, he starts to devour me like his life depends on it. He envelops my pussy lips with his mouth, running his tongue along my slit and into my opening.
“You’re sweet as honey,” he says as he pulls me close with his strong arms on the back of my thighs and his hands on my ass.
I can only rest my weight on the glass wall. I know it should be strong enough to support me, but it’s terrifying to look out when you’re thirty stories above the ground. I close my eyes to avoid looking down.
My knees grow weak as everything within me focuses on the throbbing in my pussy. Ethan holds me up as his limbs keep me prisoner—a willing one.
This feels better than anything I’ve ever felt. No wonder people would do almost anything for sex. Everyone tells me it’s overrated, especially when it’s the first time, but there’s no way to overstate how good this feels.
Still, I need more, although I don’t understand what exactly would get me there, not until Ethan’s tongue slides up and circles the little knot of extra-sensitive nerve endings just under the hood of my pussy. I moan desperately, but still he continues to torture me by deliberately missing the spot.