“He’s still mad?”
I sigh, tucking my hair behind my ear. “I think so. He keeps saying sorry to me, but I’ve barely said a word to him.”
He nods, looking down. Before I can say anything, Julie grabs my arm, dragging me into the kitchen. “Have a seat, Genevieve. I’ve just made some cookies. Would you like something to drink? I can make lemonade or even…”
I stop her, laughing quietly. “Julie, I’m fine really.”
“I insist you try these cookies. I’m sure you’re exhausted from your journey here.“ She sets a plate of cookies down in front of me.
“Julie,” I pause, beginning to laugh even harder. “I’m fine. It wasn’t even that far.”
Albert is laughing too as he sits on the opposite side of the table. Julie smiles, sitting down next to me. “So what brings you here?”
“Honestly, I missed you all. I get so bored stuck on the farm.”
“How’s Douglas doing?” Joel smiles, sitting down at the table with the rest of us.
“Pretty good, I think. And the boys aren’t being obnoxious brats anymore. Bradley even came and apologized, if you’ll believe it.”
“So life at home is better for you now?” Julie asks, looking toward me.
“Uh, well…” I pause, looking down. “I guess so. It’s just… I don’t know. Just as one thing got better, another thing didn’t, you know? I can hardly even bear being around my pa right now and I don’t know what to do.”
“I shouldn’t have said hello to you that day outside the mercantile. Because of me entering your life, you and your pa are suffering.”
I feel like my stomach folds in on itself and my voice feels like it’s trapped deep within my throat. How can he really believe this? “Joel,” I manage to let out. “This isn’t your fault.”
“Then whose fault is it, Genevieve? Because your pa hates me, and I knew that. I should’ve just stayed away like he told me many years ago,” he yells, and I flinch seeing his face turning red.
I blink rapidly, not making eye contact with anyone, fearful that I may cry. A massive lump is in my throat and I’m unsure what to do.
“Uh, Albert? I think I heard something fall down outside. We should probably go check.” Stephen leaps up from his chair and makes his way to the door with Albert close behind him.
Julie gives me a sad smile and stands, resting her hands on my shoulders. “I’ll let you have some time alone.”
And with that, she too leaves the house. It’s quiet for a while. Joel is looking down at his hands, and I pretend to be interested in a scratch on the wooden table.
“Look…Genevieve. I didn’t mean to yell at you like that. You didn’t deserve that. I’m just so frustrated right now because I’ve missed you so much, and I know it will never happen. That I won’t be able to see you anymore.”
“Joel, I’m not afraid of my pa. And I’m sure he’ll eventually come around, because the way he’s acting isn’t him. Why don’t we just pretend this isn’t happening? I’m here for the day, after all. We might as well enjoy it.”
He sighs after a few seconds. “You’re right. Let’s enjoy it. Want to go look around the yard? I can show you this really nice place I like to go.”
“All right, that sounds lovely.” I stand and he takes my hand without hesitation as we go out into the yard.
Chapter 23
“And I ate so many raspberries, I threw up,” Joel finishes his story laughing, and I smile looking at the bush of raspberries in front of us.
We’d walked through the bushes for a while before coming to a spot where there was a big boulder and a large stand of raspberry canes. We’d sat down on the boulder and Joel proceeded to tell me the story of the time he ate every raspberries off the bush.
“How old were you?”
He chuckles. “It was last year, so twenty.”
I tuck a strand of hair behind my ear, smiling. “Oh dear. That’s rather embarrassing, huh?”
“Yes. Yes it is. Thanks for reminding me.” He smiles.
It’s quiet for a few minutes, the only sound coming from the birds in the trees around us, and Joel and me breathing.
“Joel?”
He glances at me from the corner of his eye. “Yeah?”
“I don’t know how to explain it, but lately I’ve been… I don’t know. Maybe just sad is the word or dazed? It’s like I’m fine one minute, and the next all of the struggles of my life, my worries and previous pain comes rushing back in. It’s like there’s hundreds of voices screaming inside of my head. I just feel like shutting down. It keeps me up sometimes.”
He doesn’t answer, just turns to face me better.
“Oh, now you think I’m crazy, don’t you? I shouldn’t have said anything.”
He presses one of his fingers to my lips, silencing me instantly. Quickly, he moves his hand away and looks at me. Stares at me.
I begin to speak again, but he beats me to it. “Don’t ever think of yourself like that, Genevieve. I’m glad you told me. I think that you’re likely just upset and tired from these past few months.”
I lean until my head is resting on his shoulder. “You’re right. I am tired.”
He lets out a long breath and wraps his arm around me. It’s quiet and I feel safe. Like he’s shielding me from all the pain of the outside world. Of course, that’s completely crazy, but then again, so am I.
“I just sometimes feel so angry when I think of how many people have walked out of my life. And now my pa won’t let me see you, Julie, and the boys. You four have quickly become close friends of mine and…”
Joel frowns. “And now we’re gone too?”
“Yes.” I pause, looking up into his deep, brown eyes. “Did you ever know Suzanna Lake?”
He lets out a breath, closing his eyes tightly as if it will help him remember. “No. I don’t believe I did. Why’s that?”
“Well, I met her on my first day of school in Riverbend. I remember how excited I was and Adeline, my sister, was to be our teacher. And when we got there, this girl with perfect blonde hair sat down beside me. It was perfectly straight. And her eyes were the brightest blue you will ever see. We instantly became close friends and spent all our time in Riverbend together. Her name was Suzanna.” I smile sadly, recalling the day I first met her. I was so desperate for a friend and when I saw her I knew we were bound to become friends.
“What happened?” Joel asks, furrowing his eyebrows.
I shiver at the thought. “My family and I had traveled into Riverbend one evening. We came because Adeline invited us for supper, and Pa also wanted to help August do something with their house. We ate supper and cleaned up. We didn’t intend to stay late, but we did. We sat there visiting until it was pitch dark out. Then I remember hearing a shout in the distance. Then more yelling. Not anger, but in fear. The voices were saying, ‘The house! It’s on fire!’”
I pause, closing my eyes as I remember. “Pa and August ran out the door and I was close behind them. In the distance I could see thick gray smoke rising. It was a little ways away from Adeline’s so I couldn’t tell whose house it was. But as I got closer my stomach grew sick. In front of me was the house I’d been in so many times for cookies with Suzanna. The Lake’s house. The flames were high and there were people screaming. I was shouting, asking if they got out. And everyone I asked said they didn’t know. The men were grabbing pails of water from the well and throwing it on the fire, but it just wouldn’t stop. I vaguely remember Adeline guiding me to sit down on a rock. She told me I’d been screaming.”
Unable to stop myself, I begin to cry and Joel doesn’t say anything, just hugs me closer. After a while, I get myself under control again and continue. “I don’t remember the fire being put out, just me standing in front of the pile of ashen rubble. And no sign of Suzanna or her ma, Pa, or two brothers. And then I threw up all over the path. Everyone says after that I passed out and they had to carry me back to Adeline’s.”
“I’m sorry, Genevie
ve. Suzanna must have been a hard loss for you.” Joel lets out a breath, shaking his head.
“Yes, and Joel, I’ve never told anyone this before, but I blame myself.”
He intakes a breath sharply. “Genevieve! Why? It could never be your fault for that! They probably had something too close to the fireplace or…”
I stop him. “No, it’s not my fault the fire started, but if we’d left Adeline’s house a little bit earlier, we would’ve gone down that road and seen the fire in its early stages. We would’ve shouted for them to get out. And I would still be able to have Suzanna around.”
“In situations like this, Genevieve, people always feel better putting the blame on themselves, Even if you weren’t in Riverbend that evening having supper, you would’ve blamed yourself for not coming in that night.” Joel lets out a breath.
I give a small smile. “You’re right, and I know that. It’s just easier, I guess, to blame myself.”
It’s completely quiet for a minute. No bird or breath of wind. My head rises and falls with each breath he takes.
Joel clears his throat. “Suzanna. She wouldn’t want you to be feeling like this, you know? And I believe that everything happens for a reason. No matter how awful. Because it leads you somewhere else in your life.”
I lift my head up, my eyebrows raised. “When have you become so…”
“Poetic?” he asks, laughing.
“Sure. We’ll go with that.” I smile, but then frown. “Joel, I can’t lose any more people. Not for awhile at least.”
He gives me a small smile. “I know, Genevieve. I know.”
Chapter 24
After a long day of exploring Joel’s land, we are now sitting at the small round table eating our supper. I had offered to help Julie, but she whacked my hand with a wooden spoon and told me to have a fun afternoon. She also mentioned how she was sick of Joel moping around the house and she wanted him to stop bothering her for a while.
The meal is delicious. A bowl of stew with beef, corn, peas, and some liquid, that Julie refuses to identify, is set in front of me. She says it’s her “secret.”
“Genevieve?” Joel sets his spoon down, looking up at me.
I smile, taking a sip of lemonade. “Yes?”
“What will you do now? With your pa, I mean?”
I hesitate, realizing I haven’t really thought further into the future. The future where today ends, and I have to leave. “I…I’m not too sure. I just don’t know how to go about this with him. And then there’s Freida, who likes you all, but I don’t want to get Pa mad at her and…”
“Genevieve. I’ll sort it out,” Joel says plainly.
I hear Julie snort, but I ignore her. “How?”
“I don’t know yet.”
Albert laughs. “You were always great at coming up with plans.”
“Shut up.” Joel smirks.
We continue eating, mostly listening to Julie’s endless chatter, and soon everyone is finished. I move to grab Joel’s plate while Julie starts getting the washbasin ready. The boys remain seated at the table and start discussing something they’d planted.
Once the water is ready, Julie hands me a yellow dish towel and she starts to wash the dishes. As she hands me a now clean bowl, she smiles. “I’ve missed having you to talk to, Genevieve. I know we’ve only been friends for a little while, but I feel like we never run out of things to discuss.”
I chuckle, setting the dry bowl on the counter. “Yes, well I’m sure you alone never run out of things to say.”
Laughing, she swats me with the towel. “Yeah well try…”
I smile as I interrupt her, “Living with all boys?”
“How did you know?” She hands me a cup, her cheeks flushed red.
“Oh just a wild guess.”
“Genevieve, I was thinking, if this whole Pa hating Joel thing doesn’t work out, maybe we could meet up for a picnic once a week or something.” She smiles, her green eyes sparkling.
I sigh, looking at her. “Well, I will sort this ‘whole thing’ out somehow. So we can have picnics every day if we want to.”
“You say that, but I’m not so sure.”
I smile, setting the cup in the cupboard. “Well, I guess you’re just going to have to trust me.”
* * *
“Goodbye, Genevieve,” Julie exclaims in my ear, pulling me in for a long hug. “And thank you for coming. It’s been ever so lovely to see you.”
Pulling back, I smile at her. She has tears in her eyes, and I feel anger at Pa all over again. If things were normal, people wouldn’t be crying.
If only.
I wave goodbye to Albert and Stephen, and hug Julie once more before following Joel out the door.
We walk down the dark path toward my wagon in silence.
“Joel, listen. I really am sorry about my pa. He means well.”
He hugs me tightly and sighs. “It’s all right, Genevieve. We will get this all sorted.”
“What if we don’t, Joel?”
“I…well, Genevieve.” He stops, his brown eyes meeting mine. Before I know what’s happening, he leans down and our lips meet. It lasts for a few seconds, though, for me it feels like minutes. I grab his arm to steady myself.
“Well, Genevieve, I love you, and your pa isn’t going to stop me from seeing you.”
I feel a tear slip down my face and he wipes it away with his thumb. “I just… Joel, I wish my pa could support me like he supported my sisters when they were with Robert and August.”
“I know. And he will. Listen, it’s too dark for you to go home all by yourself.”
I laugh, looking up at the now star-filled sky. “Joel, I’ll be fine.”
“I know you will, but what kind of person would I be if I just let you out into the dark wilderness alone?”
I sigh, knowing arguing with him is useless. “Fine.”
“I’ll attach my horse to the back of your wagon and I’ll drop you off near your house. But not close enough that your pa will see. Then I’ll hop on my horse and ride home.”
“Joel.” I take his hand. “What about you?”
“I’ll be fine. I can protect myself.”
I smile. “I can protect myself too.”
He looks down at me without saying anything, then begins to laugh. “Oh my goodness.” He pauses in between bouts of laughter. “You are the most stubborn woman I’ve ever met.”
“What about Julie?”
Still laughing, he wipes his eyes. “Julie. She would be more than happy to have someone accompany her in the dark. She’s terrified that something is going to emerge from the bushes.” He pauses, smiling at me. “And I know very well you can manage fine getting home. I just want more time to visit with you. Okay?”
I squeeze his hand. “Okay.”
We walk toward my wagon and untie the two horses while he opens the back latch. I pat the horses’ heads and scratch their necks before moving to take Joel’s hand as he helps me up into the wagon. I sit on the front bench and take the reins in my hand, waiting for Joel to tie his horse onto the back. Soon, he’s sitting on the seat next to me, and takes the reins, getting the horses moving slowly at first, and eventually into a quick walk.
Looking up at Joel, I ask him a question I’ve been wondering. “Is Julie older than Stephen and Albert?”
“Yes, she’s the same age as you. I’m the oldest, and Stephen and Albert are twins. They’re seventeen.”
“Oh.” I smile. “I never knew that.”
We ride in silence for a while. I can hear the crickets and the sound of my wheels as they bump over the rough ground.
“Joel?” I finally ask.
He looks up, nodding for me to continue.
“How are you going to make Pa forgive you?”
Joel lets out a sigh. “I’ve got a plan, but I think you should first try to talk to him about it.”
“What? Tell him that despite his efforts, I’m in love with Joel Adams.”
“Yes. Exactly.
” He grins, leaning over to plant a kiss on my forehead.
I laugh as he pulls the reins to get the horses to turn into Riverbend. “I’m pretty sure he won’t exactly like me saying it quite like that. Maybe I could sugar-coat it.”
“And have tears in your eyes and make your bottom lip quiver. Then he can’t possibly get mad at you.”
“You’re so smart. I could even shower him with gifts.”
Joel chuckles slightly. “Now you’ve got it.”
It’s silent again, but not an awkward silence. A comforting one. And as the wagon moves out of Riverbend into the dark night, I’m glad Joel Adams is with me.
Chapter 25
And then it happens. A loud cracking sound and the wagon stops abruptly. The front right-side slants sideways and I’m sliding down the seat only to crash into Joel.
“What happened?” I ask, looking up at him.
For some reason, he laughs. “I think the wheel snapped.”
“Why are you laughing?” I scowl.
“Your face when you started sliding toward me was priceless.” He laughs again.
I smile, but then force myself to stop. “Okay. Well what should we do?”
“Well how about you climb out because I’m sorta stuck here until you move.”
Laughing, I push myself up off the seat and carefully climb out onto the ground. The wheel is most definitely broken. The bottom rim is snapped in half and it’s split in the middle.
Joel stands beside me, his hands in his pockets. “Well this is something.”
“How?” I stare at the broken wheel.
“Uh…bad piece of wood? Maybe too much use and no one’s noticed it starting to crack? Hitting that bump probably finally snapped it.”
I sigh, resting my hand on my hip. “Well, what do we do?”
He pulls both hands through his thick, black hair and lets out a long breath. “I’m not too sure. I guess we could look for someone to repair it, but it will likely take awhile. How about you help me pull the wagon to the side of the road so if other people come this way, they don’t hit it?”
The Daisy (Carter Sisters Series Book 3) Page 10