Edge of the Past

by Jennifer Comeaux

  I slid my phone off the nightstand and scrolled to Aubrey’s cell number. Glancing at the clock, I calculated the time difference and hoped I’d catch her leaving the rink. She should be on her way to ballroom class, an extra off-ice requirement for ice dancers.

  “Hey, Em,” she answered.

  “Hey, do you have a few minutes?”

  “Yep, class was cancelled so Marley and I are going out to Mashpee to shop in a bit.”

  I pushed my damp hair away from my face and laid my head back against the starchy pillowcase. Oh, to be at home with my friends, doing trivial things.

  “Some crazy stuff has been going on here,” I said. “You’re never going to believe it.”

  “Uh-oh. Did Sergei’s dad do something?”

  “No, he’s the least of my problems. It’s a pretty convoluted story, but I’ll try to make it short.”

  I gave her a rundown of the situation, and nothing but silence came over the line. Finally, Aubrey said, “Back it all the way up. You met Elena and the kid she had for Sergei?”

  Aubrey, Chris, and Marley were the only people I’d told about Elena’s pregnancy and her father’s threats. My friends had been there for me when I found out Sergei had lied. Sensing more trouble on the horizon, I suspected I’d need them once again.

  “It’s been a whirlwind two days,” I said.

  “So, why are Elena and Liza staying with us? Did Sergei ask you to put them up?”

  I picked at my flannel pajama pants, wincing in advance of the expected reaction. “I invited them.”

  “Are you nuts?”

  “You know the old saying – ‘Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.’ I mean, I don’t really know Elena so I can’t say she’s my enemy, but you get my drift.”

  Aubrey was silent again. I could picture her green eyes crinkling with concern. “This is so totally insane,” she said. “How are you processing all this? Or are you still in shock?”

  “I honestly don’t know. We’ve just been going, going, going since yesterday when we first saw Elena. I’m sorta numb right now.” Turning my head, I looked out at the lights of Moscow, visible between the half-drawn curtains. “I’m sorry I didn’t check with you before I invited Elena and Liza. It was one of those things where I had to make a move fast.”

  “I know you, and you wouldn’t have suggested something so crazy if you didn’t think it was necessary. Besides, it’s your parents’ house, so you can invite whoever you want.” Aubrey stopped and gasped. “Oh, no, you had to tell your parents everything. Your mom must’ve had a conniption.”

  “She wasn’t pleased, especially when I told her about my invitation.”

  “Please tell me these people speak some English so I won’t need you to translate for me the entire time.”

  “Elena’s English is good. Liza actually lived in the States before her parents died, and I get the impression she knows very little Russian. I’m not sure how much she’ll be talking, though. I think she’s pretty mad at Elena for keeping the truth from her.”

  “Great, so we’ll have their uncomfortable drama to deal with.”

  “I’m sorry. I know it’s not the best time to throw our routine out of whack with Worlds coming up. Believe me, if I thought there was a better answer…”

  “Is Sergei not thinking about Worlds and how this will affect you? How are you supposed to be on your A-game with all this going on around you?”

  Hearing Aubrey’s concern lifted a layer of my numbness, revealing irritation. “Sergei doesn’t seem to be thinking about anything except Liza right now.”

  A quick knock came from the door. “Somebody’s knocking,” I said. “I really hope it’s not my mom. I ran away tonight before she could corner me.”

  “Good luck. Call me tomorrow.”

  I put the phone on the nightstand and crept on my bare toes to the door. If it was Mom, I wanted her to think I was asleep. Peeking through the peephole, I discovered my visitor was Sergei.

  I opened the door and Sergei glanced at my T-shirt and pajama pants. “Did I wake you? Sorry, I’m still so wired I couldn’t sleep.”

  “No, I was just talking to Aubrey.” I motioned him inside and shut the door.

  “Is she okay with Elena and Liza staying with you?” he asked, stopping at the foot of the bed.

  “She’s worried this is a bad time for them to visit with Worlds in three weeks. And now that I’ve had a minute to breathe and think about it, she has a good point.”

  “They can stay in a hotel. You don’t have to–”

  “It’s not just the matter of where they’re staying.” I folded my arms “It’s the fact that you invited them to come at all without talking to me first.”

  Sergei stepped closer to me. “I’m sorry, Em. When Liza asked to come with us, it got me thinking, and I had to do something quickly. Elena was so upset that I was afraid she might make us leave.”

  “I understand you did what you thought was good for Liza, but you still should’ve taken the time to discuss it with me. It scares me that you’re making these huge decisions without me. I hope this isn’t an indication of what our marriage will be like.”

  “It’s not.” Sergei gently cupped his hands under my chin. “This was a crazy situation that I never thought I’d be in, and I just started reacting and saying things before I could even think them through myself.”

  I dropped my eyes to the silver pendant hanging around his neck, the one I’d given him for his birthday, engraved with Always in Russian. It was turned backwards, so I reached up and flipped it forward.

  “You should’ve talked to me,” I said, removing Sergei’s hands from my face. “No matter how crazy things get, you have to remember that we’re in this together. We should make decisions like this together.”

  “You don’t want Elena and Liza to come with us,” Sergei stated.

  “That’s not what this is about,” I huffed. “It’s about you doing things that impact me, that impact us, without considering my feelings at all.”

  “Why didn’t you say something at Elena’s?”

  “I tried, but you kept rolling right along. Maybe I should’ve said more, but I was still in shock over what was happening.”

  “I was in shock, too. I was just hoping Liza would see me, and then when she asked me for help…” Sergei’s voice caught. “All I knew was I couldn’t say no.”

  The emotion on his face nipped at my irritation. What if I was in his position? Would I be able to think rationally if I was suddenly looking into my child’s eyes?

  “You really feel a connection to her already,” I said.

  “It’s crazy, I know. I’ve only talked to her for a total of five minutes, but I feel it.” He took a slow step back and sat on the small bench in front of the bed. “And the idea of leaving her when I just found her… I couldn’t do it. Not after all those years of wondering where she was and if she was okay.”

  He bent forward, dropping his head, and I sank onto the bench beside him. I put my arm around him and rested my chin on his shoulder.

  “You’ll never have to wonder anymore,” I said.

  He turned his face to mine and brushed the lightest of kisses on my mouth. Taking me in his arms, his hands settled around my waist while I ran my fingers up and down his back.

  Sergei’s lips grazed my hair and trailed down to my ear. “I’m sorry I didn’t talk to you first.”

  The warmth of his breath and his words softened me even more, but I had to make sure he’d gotten my message. I shifted my head back so I could see Sergei’s face.

  “Promise me you won’t spring any more surprises on me.”

  “I promise,” he said, holding my gaze. His eyes searched mine, and I felt like there was something he wanted to say.

  “What is it?” I asked.

  “You didn’t answer me earlier when I said you don’t want Elena and Liza to visit.”

  The problem was I had two answers – “No” for the first person mentioned
and “Yes” for the second. I chose to reply with my other concern.

  “I wish it wasn’t at such an already stressful time,” I said. “Besides the usual pre-competition crunch, we have Chris’s injury to worry about, wedding stuff going on…”

  “I wish it was a better time, too, but I couldn’t count on Elena agreeing to let me see Liza later. I had to make it now.”

  “I want you to be able to spend time with Liza, but having Elena around…”

  “It’s asking a lot, I know,” he said, combing his fingers through the damp waves of my hair. “I don’t think she’ll make things difficult, though. She’s going to do whatever makes Liza happy.”

  I didn’t have the same confidence he had, and it gave me pause again, thinking of Elena in my house. A woman I barely knew but who knew Sergei very well. Too well. The unsettled feeling that had taken residence in my gut flared up, and I pulled Sergei into another embrace, seeking comfort… if only temporary.

  ****

  “I wish you not go home so soon,” Anna said, hugging me for the fifth time since I’d arrived for dinner.

  I couldn’t get home soon enough. No offense to Sergei’s mother, of course. I just wanted to get out of Russia before any more life-changing events could occur.

  “Thank you for another wonderful meal,” I said.

  “Everything was delicious,” Dad chimed in next to me.

  Anna released me and gave Sergei an even stronger hug, patting his back over and over. “You tell Liza she have grandmother and grandfather who want to meet her.”

  Max rose from the couch with a grunt, and Sergei glared at him. “What, Papa? I know you’ve wanted to say something all evening.”

  “I do not know why you push this, why you always make things more difficult in your life.” Max turned to me. “Why you do not stop it?”

  My voice got lost in my throat, and Sergei jumped in. “Emily supports this. She understands why it’s important to me.”

  Mom gave me a pointed stare, and I quickly looked away. Sergei made my support sound a lot stronger than I felt about it.

  Sergei’s cell phone buzzed, and he answered the call, “Elena?”

  He wandered a few feet from us in the cramped living room, and Dad set a worried arm across my shoulders. I kept my ears tuned to Sergei’s conversation, concentrating hard to translate.

  “What happened since you bought the plane tickets this morning?” he asked. “You’re not changing your mind?”

  An unbidden ray of hope streaked through me. Maybe all the plans will fizzle out. If Sergei knew what I was thinking, he wouldn’t be boasting about my support.

  “You saw how excited Liza was,” Sergei continued. “Please don’t take this opportunity away from her.”

  “He’s going to keep pushing,” Max said, throwing one hand up.

  “Liza is our family,” Anna said. “He’s doing what is right.”

  My ears and my brain strained to block out their bickering and focus on Sergei. He put one hand on his hip and said, “I’m not going to make her choose sides. I want us all to do things together.”

  I stiffened, wrapping my arms around myself. Perhaps I was included in Sergei’s definition of “us all,” but the way he said it gave me a picture of their little family, me excluded. Add that to the pile of unpleasant pictures I’d imagined on the trip, and I had an entire album in my head.

  Dad hugged me closer to his side as Sergei rattled on in Russian. I stopped trying to translate, growing tired of feeling on the outside. When Sergei ended the call, he ran his hand through his hair, expelling a slow breath.

  “They’re still coming. Elena was having some second thoughts.”

  I kept my face motionless, not wanting Sergei to see my disappointment. Anna moved toward him and placed her hands on his face. “Good, good. You should have this time with Liza.”

  “Wonderful,” Mom muttered.

  “Always making bad decisions,” Max said and went into the kitchen.

  Sergei jammed his phone into his pocket. “Mama, we have to get back to the hotel. Our flight is very early tomorrow.”

  Anna embraced him again. “I miss you and you not gone yet.”

  “The wedding will be here before you know it,” he said.

  Will it? It felt so far, far away to me.

  Anna gave the rest of us more hugs, and I watched over her shoulder as Max quietly reentered the room. Dad approached him with his hand extended.

  “Thank you for all your hospitality,” he said in practiced Russian.

  Max nodded. “You’re welcome.”

  “We will return it when you come to Boston,” Mom said, giving Max kisses on each side of his face.

  I hung back, not sure if Max would welcome any affection from me. “Yes, thank you both.”

  He hesitated but slid over to me, bending to place kisses on my cheeks. When he faced Sergei, he simply said, “Good luck, Son.”

  The emotional distance between them tore at my heart. No wonder Sergei so badly wanted to show Liza she could count on him. And I had to show him he could count on me to help him through this, as trying as it might be.

  Chapter Nine

  Thick gray clouds blocked my view of the European countryside below as I peered out the narrow airplane window. I wished I could tap my heels together and be home. But my shoes were sneakers, not ruby slippers, and Dorothy just had Toto with her. I had my fiancé’s ex-girlfriend and newfound child to tote with me.

  Sergei yawned and unbuckled his seat belt. “I need to stretch my legs. Want to take a walk?”

  “I think I’ll read for a while,” I said, pulling my paperback from the seat pocket.

  “Oh, yeah, you need to finish that so we can talk about it. The end will blow your mind.”

  I smiled a little. Our afternoon coffee shop dates where we discussed our current reads might seem boring to some people, but I thought they were the perfect way to relax after training. It would be nice to get back to a normal routine. Although, with Elena and Liza coming to town, I doubted there’d be much normalcy at home.

  Sergei started to get up but stopped and turned back to me, surprising me with a kiss.

  “You plan on being gone a long time?” I asked.

  “No, I just want you to know how much I love you.”

  When he said things like that, I forgot about the chaos he’d brought into our world. Then I remembered our traveling companions sitting ten rows behind us.

  Sergei headed up the aisle, and I opened my book to its dog-eared page. I’d only read one paragraph when Mom dropped into Sergei’s empty seat.

  “You can’t avoid me here,” she said.

  I sighed and shut the book. The entire previous day I’d dodged being alone with Mom. I couldn’t listen to her question Sergei’s decisions because I was trying to ignore my own doubts about them.

  “You know, that is my house you’re living in, so I have the ultimate say on who does or doesn’t stay there,” Mom said crisply. “I could override your offer to Elena and Liza.”

  “Please don’t do that.”

  “Why do you want them there? They’re only going to be a constant reminder of Sergei’s past.”

  “It’s better than if they were staying at a hotel. This way, I can have some control over the situation,” I said, reaching up to adjust the air conditioning vent.

  “Do you feel threatened? Is that why you need to control it?”

  “No, I just… I’d rather Sergei come to my house to see Liza than have to go elsewhere.”

  “You’d rather he not see Elena elsewhere.” Mom tapped her index finger on my leg. “Without you present.”

  Shifting in my seat, I stared at the clouds, remembering the look in Elena’s eyes when Sergei had showed her a hint of affection. It was a look I didn’t care to ever see again.

  “I trust Sergei completely,” I said. “But no, I don’t want them spending time together. I don’t think I’m irrational for feeling that way.”

 
“It’s perfectly normal. No woman enjoys seeing her boyfriend with an ex. Especially when that ex is also the mother of his child.”

  Mom’s frown spoke of disapproval. Before she could launch into a judgmental rant about Sergei’s unplanned fatherhood, I steered the conversation to a new direction.

  “I was watching them at the airport,” I said. “Liza’s still so upset that she’s barely speaking to Elena.”

  “And you have to entertain them. That will be fun.”

  I laughed dryly. “When I called Aubrey to tell her we’re having visitors, she said the same thing. Well, first she said, ‘Are you nuts?’”

  “I second that.”

  “It’s not going to be easy, but I couldn’t think of a better solution.”

  Mom pursed her lips. “Sweetie, I’m worried about you. I think you’ve let yourself get caught up in this and haven’t thought how it could change things.”

  “They’re only going to be with us for a few weeks, and then they’ll go back to Russia and everything can return to normal.” If I sounded convincing enough, Mom would have to believe me. And I’d have to believe myself.

  “So, Sergei hasn’t said anything about trying to get custody?” Mom asked.

  “No, he wouldn’t do that to Elena.”

  “Wait until he spends more time with Liza,” she said with a voice full of warning. “He might have some other ideas then.”

  I couldn’t think about that. I had to focus on getting through the next three weeks. I glanced down at my paperback and realized I’d bent the cover back and had smashed it into a creased mess.

  Three weeks. One day at a time.

  ****

  “Well, this is it,” I said, leading Elena and Liza into my foyer. “I hope you’ll feel at home here.”

  Sergei helped us carry in our mounds of luggage, and I showed my guests their bedroom and bathroom just off the entryway.

  “Let me give you a quick tour of the rest of the house,” I said and turned to Sergei. “I’ll see you at the rink in a bit?”

  “I’ll be there as soon as I shower and change.”

  “You go to rink?” Elena asked.

  “Just for a little while,” I said. “I’m going to skate and then Sergei and I have a lesson with our junior team.”