“De bar on de oddah end a de street, dat’s where everybody go. Is called Mr. Winchester’s. We cyan heck it out?”
“I don’t know,” I said as I shook my head. “Might not be such a good idea …”
Before I had a chance to finish speaking, a low, moaning sound came from just outside Henry’s room. One of the sisters who shared the neighboring space was telling her boyfriend she loved him as her body was being pressed up against the wall, which made the whole place shake.
“Plenty noisy tonight,” Henry said with a slightly embarrassed grin on his face.
“Plenty,” I said, with the same grin. “So at this bar, will there be lots of people?”
“Six, seven tops. That’s as much as it evah get at one time … unless is a domino tournament, an’ is none a dat tonight. Rest a de time, people just tek dem drink an’ go out ’pon de street. Sit ’pon dem stoop or ’pon de curb an’ have dem drink right dere.”
“It sounds fine. I just don’t know if I want to take a chance at somebody recognizing me. The beach and Hope Gardens, well, they’re okay because we either don’t see people there, or they so far off, is not a problem. But here … besides, I don’t think I would be too welcomed.”
“Well, is up to you. But Mr. Winchester is not one fe wasting electricity. Is so dark in dere, ’specially at de back tables, ’Enry wouldn’t notice if him own granny was to walk in. Besides, is between de bar an’ staying here an’ listening to me neighbor … and de two a dem not even really get started yet. Get so bad one time, even me landlady hear, an’ you cyan just imagine what a banggarang dat cause.”
Just as Henry had predicted, the couple turned the volume up on their lovemaking, so much so that Henry and I had to raise our voices just so we could hear each other. This made my decision easy, and Henry and I were soon leaving his landlady’s yard. He opened the gate at a forty-five-degree angle. It seems anything more would have caused the gate to cry out, which would surely have caught the landlady’s attention. I pulled my sports cap as far down as possible, then slipped through the gate.
In a yard further up the street, there were a few boys gathered underneath a mango tree. They took turns whistling and calling out to the two young girls sashaying on by in their tight skirts and way too snug tops. I tapped Henry on the arm, and he crossed to the opposite side of the street.
Once we turned the corner, I heard the music coming from Mr. Winchester’s. It was a small box of a place with the bar right near the front. There was no door, just a metal panel that had been pulled all the way up. A few barstools were spaced out around the bar, and there were three small tables crammed alongside the barstools. There was enough of a space for people to walk single file to the back of the bar, which opened into a small storage room. A jukebox was pressed up against that back wall. From above it, a young East Indian-looking woman with hair as black as a country night and breasts as big as breadfruits smiled out from a large poster. She wore a bright orange T-shirt that seemed to fit like a second skin. “JAMAICA” was written across the front in thick, black cursive.
There were only a few people in the bar. A couple looked up from their beer bottles when we walked in, but we didn’t seem to hold their attention. They quickly returned to their business. The bar was very dark, and this made me feel at ease. I sat down at the farthest table from the entrance, while Henry ordered two Red Stripes up at the bar. I was facing the jukebox, which was playing a Toots and the Maytals’ song. I dug some change out of my pocket and walked to the back of the room. After scanning the names of the selections and inserting two five cent pieces into the coin slot, I punched in one code for “Reggae Hit The Town” and another for “Many Rivers to Cross.” The song that was playing ended, and I watched as that forty-five was moved out of the way, and the one I had requested dropped down into its place. As the music began to play, I went back to the table, where Henry was now sitting.
“You sure ain’t been looking too happy dese past few weeks,” Henry said.
“I’m alright.”
“Well, if dat’s what alright look like, Henry would prefer being not so alright.”
“Henry, you ever realize you don’t really know somebody? An’ then you wonder if you make the right decision. You wonder if you could turn back the clock an’ do it all over again, if you would make the same decision.”
“’Enry used to go ’bout wit’ dis girl name Donna. Enry t’ink him mention her before, but ’Enry probably nevah talk ’bout her much. She come from dis family dat t’ink dem is bettah dan ’Enry. Donna go ’round wit’ ’Enry anyhow. But her family put enough pressure ’pon her, an’ one day, she do somet’ing ’Enry nevah t’ink she would do. She leave ’Enry, an’ she go an’ start up wit’ some rich bwoy. ’Enry used to wish him could know magic, den him would be able fe control her mind, mek her feel every way him want her fe feel. Den ’Enry realize dat if dat was de case, if him could control her mind, den she wouldn’t be de same person. She wouldn’t be de Donna ’Enry fall in love wit’. Sometimes you t’ink you don’t really know people. But you really do. You just don’t want fe see de t’ings you don’t like ’bout dem, so you ignore it fe as long as you cyan.” He was looking at the label on the Red Stripe bottle.
“Anyway, guess what? ’Enry get anoddah house fe care for. You know somebody name Cargill? ’Enry don’t even remembah de first name. Anyway, him have a house in Spanish Town. Mon, what a big house. Him have anoddah gardener, but him was considering getting one more, an t’ings just work out ’Enry way, mon. Dis small garden bug was eating away at Mr. Cargill rose plant. Last year, ’Enry treat de same problem in dis rich lady house. ’Enry kill de likkle bugs wit’out killing de rose bush. I t’ink it was de rich lady who tell Mr. Cargill ’bout me. So on Monday afternoon, an’ den on Friday morning, me will be working dere. One day, ’Enry will have de biggest gardening business inna Jamaica.”
Henry was still talking about making a business out of his gardening when Mr. Winchester walked over with two more beers. He spoke about the problems he had been having with his Dragon Stout shipment and his wanting to get rid of the account altogether. I smiled politely and looked away, but Henry just kept talking with him. I tried kicking Henry under the table, but he didn’t seem to notice. Mr. Winchester asked where I was from.
“A likkle bit more uptown,” I said.
“Uptown. What parts exactly.”
“Uh …”
“She come from just off Washington Boulevard, near where it lead out de city. Work at one a dem house ’Enry garden at.”
I avoided any eye contact with Mr. Winchester, hoping he would go away. But the man just kept talking. He asked my opinion on the jukebox selections.
“Plenty fine,” I said quickly.
“Because I know you young people have very definite ideas on de music nowadays,” he said. He reached for one of the barstools and began pulling it toward our table.
“Is getting late, Freddie,” one of the customers called out from the front of the bar while waving a twenty dollar bill at Mr. Winchester. “And you know nowadays mon have fe work twice as long fe half de pay. A wha dem people in government a do fe de likkle people?” Mr. Winchester returned the stool to its original position and wandered away. I let out a great, big sigh.
“Sudderland, if me remembah, you wasn’t all dat against de government four years ago,” one of the other men said. “You wasn’t all dat against Mr. Montrose when him start nationalizing de banks an’ hospitals and t’ing. Didn’t you say dat would mek t’ings equal, an’ equal is bettah. An’ I tell you back den, no mon. No such t’ing. Now look at all dem businesses leaving. Where de money coming from fe run t’ings. Government don’t got any.”
“I am a big enough mon fe admit when me is wrong,” Sutherland said. “Me was one a de few ’round here willing fe give Montrose a chance. Dem elect him, so we nevah have no choice, but fe give de mon a chance. But when him go an’ tek out dat big international loan when him say him would nevah do s
uch a t’ing, well, so be it. I mon cyan’t wait ’til de day dem open up dem voting boot’s again. Hurricane couldn’t keep me away from election day.” That said, he gave half of a salute and walked out of the bar.
“Guess you nevah need fe hear dat,’ Henry said.
“Maybe I did,” I said.
By the time we left Mr. Winchester’s, Henry and I had gone through eleven Red Stripes between us. As late as it was, the boys who had been standing guard on the street when we first drove into Denham Town were still there. When we reached Henry’s yard, he took me by the hand and guided me back to his room at the rear of the property. He left the door open and offered his cot as a seat. From underneath a small side table, he pulled out two more Red Stripes. He sat down beside me and opened one of the bottles, offering it to me. But I shook my head. I never understood how people could drink warm beer, which I always thought smelled like day old piss and tasted like bad medicine. Besides, I had had more than enough to drink. I eased down onto the cot and closed my eyes. My head felt as if it was floating away from my body.
“Sometimes, at de strangest hours in de morning, Mrs. Morgan, me landlady, start playing gospel music. An’ it ain’t like she play it soft. De record always skipping a beat during de chorus a ‘Bringing in de Sheaves,’ but dat nevah really seem fe trouble her any,” I heard Henry say.
When I opened my eyes, Henry was laying next to me. I closed my eyes again, and we just lay there in silence. I could hear a couple of voices coming from the street. But those voices quickly drifted away, and the quiet returned. I could hear Henry’s quiet breaths. My own breathing fell in time with his. I suddenly felt a warmth against my face, so I opened my eyes. Henry was turned toward me with his face so very close. And as I looked at him, there were so many thoughts going through my mind. I started to get up.
“No,” he said quietly as he moved in closer and kissed me lightly on the mouth. It would have been so easy for me to just ask him to take me home. But I liked the way he looked at me. It made me feel attractive. I liked the kiss. It made me feel wanted, and it had been so long since I had felt either. I didn’t encourage him, but I didn’t turn him away. He kissed me again, and I thought about how young he was. I thought about him being one of Lewis’ employees, but then I realized that to an extent, so was I. Henry’s hands eased their way along my body, and something about the hot night and the sluggish air prevented me from protesting. Feeling wanted by someone prevented me from objecting. I felt his tongue ease into my mouth, and I swallowed all the guilt and set my mind free.
-28-
I should have probably felt more guilt over what had happened between Henry and me. But the truth is, it felt good to have a life outside of Reach. It felt good to feel attractive to someone. But I couldn’t deny that things had gotten quite a bit complicated. I thought about all those little stories that circulated around Paulette and Marilyn’s garden parties. There was the one about the wife of the dentist in Port Maria who had an affair with her errand boy who was barely seventeen. After she was found out, the dentist’s wife left Port Maria and Jamaica all together. I had always felt above all that gossip. I figured since Lewis and I had an arrangement and we were both clear about the boundaries, our relationship was more honest than most. Maybe a part of me even believed that these women who strayed were weak for not staying true to their marriage vows—that they didn’t have any self-control.
I was beginning to see how wrong I was. My life had never been very involved, especially my love life, but that evening at Skyward blurred many lines. And now my time with Henry in his small room in Denham Town blurred so many more. Suddenly, I didn’t feel so above it all anymore. I was beginning to realize that those women must have had their reasons for doing what they did.
Henry and I spent nights at Hope Botanical gardens lying under the stars. We spent nights at Hellshire Beach listening to Rastas singing their spiritual songs around a bonfire. My body began to get used to having physical attention. My body began to crave it more and more. I didn’t know how long things would last between Henry and me, but I refused to worry about that. I decided to just let things play out as they would.
“It’s good that no matter how late you stay out, you still manage to get to work bright and early,” I called out to Henry one morning. The front door had been opened so I noticed him near one of the poinciana trees as I walked downstairs to take breakfast. Henry nodded his head a bit but did not answer. I wondered if he hadn’t heard me, though he was facing the house, and I was just inside the doorway when I called out to him. But as I walked out onto the verandah, I realized why he hadn’t responded. Lewis was standing in the corner of the verandah, just out of my line of sight. The chief of the defense forces was next to him.
“You were saying something?” Lewis asked.
“I didn’t expect you to be here,” I said, hoping against hope that I didn’t sound completely startled.
“I do live here,” he said.
“I didn’t mean that. I just meant, you’re always gone by now.”
“Instead of Todd and I meeting down at Jamaica House, I decided to do it here over breakfast.”
“Morning, Souci,” Todd Dean said. I smiled at him. Henry picked up his tools and started walking near the house.
“Good morning, Henry,” Lewis called out.
“Morning, suh. Mistuh Dean. Missus.” Henry never broke stride. He never seemed the least bit caught off guard. I, on the other hand, was trying to figure out how women managed to juggle affairs they had with men who knew each other. I felt as if I had taken leave of my body and was standing off to the side watching everything play out. In one corner was the young gardener I had been sharing a bed with, who was employed by the person I was married to. In the other corner was the person I was married to, who I wasn’t supposed to have marital relations with, who I did have marital relations with, but who was acting as if nothing at all had happened. And there I was standing in the middle.
Fortunately, I didn’t have to suffer through that awkward situation for long. Todd Dean was soon climbing into his car, and Lewis into his. Once they were off the property, I walked around to the back of the house to find Henry, who was standing around, as if he was expecting me.
“Morning,” I said.
“Morning, Mrs. PM.”
“Well,” we both said at the same time. There was some nervous laughter.
“’Enry been having a good time wit’ you dese past few nights,” he said.
“Yes,” I agreed. “Henry, I just hope you don’t think this has all been … just to …” I didn’t want Henry to think of me as some rich, uptown woman who was just using him for a little somet’ing somet’ing on the side, but I didn’t quite know how to say it.
“De way ’Enry see it. It don’t mattah too much what it was, what it is. De two a we just need each oddah sometime. We is grown people.”
“True. But, I just don’t know where it’s going. I don’t know where it can go.”
“Don’t even trouble you mind. If it should keep going, good. If not, you is ’Enry friend. Life too short fe be considering on t’ings too long. What will be will be.”
Henry had a way of making everything seem so simple. I wanted to grab him and hug him right then, but I settled for just touching his hand.
I took breakfast on the back verandah and watched Henry as he sang along to whatever song happened to be coming from his little transistor radio. Every now and then he would walk by doing a little shimmy and make me laugh. I kept watching him until one of the security guards caught my attention. He had been making his rounds when he stopped suddenly, brought his walkie up to his ear, then jogged off toward the front of the house.
Henry walked over to the side of the house and yelled back to me, “Oh oh. Security activity at de front gate.”
“What’s going on?” I asked as I joined him on the lawn.
“Don’t really know. Mon look like him trying fe explain somet’ing, but de guards won’t let
him by. Maybe him is a nut job.”
The guards were crowding in on a man in a dark suit. I couldn’t make out that much about him from where I stood, so I started toward the front of the house.
“I’m going to see what’s going on,” I said.
“You want me fe come wit’ you?” Henry asked. But I just waved him off. “Careful!” he added. “Could be a membah a de Labour Party.”
I laughed as I began walking down the driveway. One of the guards put up his hand and yelled for me to stay back, but I didn’t listen. About halfway along, the man they were detaining began waving his hands. I still couldn’t make out who he was, but he called me by name.
“Mrs. Montrose. If you please,” he said. He didn’t seem harmful in any way, so I walked up to the gate.
“Thank you for coming to my aid, missus” he said. “Name’s Bumper Smalls. I met you …”
“The night of the wedding,” I said. I couldn’t believe I was setting eyes on Lewis’ ghost again, and this time in daylight. So much time had passed since I had last seen him, I had practically forgotten about him. I suppose I had enough to think about in my own life.
“Is all right,” I said to the guards. “He’s a friend of mine, so you can leave him alone.”
“We have a list of names of who we can let on the property when Mr. Montrose is not in.”
“Fine with me,” I said. “If you don’t let him in, I will just walk out.”
“Ma’am, it’s probably best you remain on the property right now,” one of the guards said.
“I’m just going to take a little walk down this road,” I said. Before they could disagree, I had moved beyond the gates. The guards just stood around looking unsure of what to do next. I walked down the lane about forty feet—far enough so the guards wouldn’t be able to hear us. We stood under a pawpaw tree. Some of the fruit had fallen against the ground and splattered—and it made the area around it smell almost too ripe and too sweet.
Crickets' Serenade Page 27