She snapped her mouth shut suddenly, as if she hadn’t meant to say so much. But she didn’t back down, he had to give her that. Now that it was out there she stood staring at him, waiting for a response. Daring him to dismiss it. Well, if she expected that, she was in for a shock. She’d pushed him past his breaking point.
“You think it’s not just as hard for me? That every time I walk in and see you I don’t want to yank you up from that desk and kiss you and drag you back to my office? That the mere thought of you has me so worked up all the time that I can’t even see straight? Why do you think I’m constantly in my office or outside? I can’t be around you without wanting to touch you. I’ve spent more time with you this week than I have in months, and you see where that’s landed us. Lissa, you make me absolutely crazy.” He wanted to grab her and shake her to make her understand, but he didn’t trust himself to touch her.
She stood staring at him, mouth hanging slightly open, and for what might have been the first time ever he thought she was speechless. But he was too wound up now to find the humor in it.
“Lissa, I want you. I want you more than I’ve ever wanted anybody in my life. And I’m sorry that I’ve caused you all this confusion and turmoil. It’s the last thing I ever wanted to do. I don’t ever want to upset you. Which is why I have to push you away. I won’t let myself get close to you.”
Lissa found her voice again, and her eyes were just as fiery as before as she flung her hair over her shoulder. “What is that even supposed to mean? I don’t understand you one bit. You won’t let yourself?”
Jesse softened his voice and bent his head to look down into her eyes, sorrow filling his chest. “I won’t let myself get close to you because I care so much for you, Lissa. I don’t want to hurt you. And that’s all that a future with me would bring you.”
He saw several expressions flicker quickly across her face before landing on one he knew well. Stubborn determination.
“Well,” she said, pursing her lips, “that’s not for you to decide.” And to his complete shock, she reached up and knocked his hat off his head, curling her fingers tightly in his hair, and dragged his mouth down to hers.
CHAPTER SIX
He cared about her? Cassie had been right then. The jumble of emotions raging through her were almost indecipherable from one another, but one did stand out among the others. Hope.
If Jesse cared for her, then they had a chance.
That’s all she thought when she grabbed him. Now she wasn’t thinking at all. Other than about how good it felt to finally be in his arms, pouring out all her pent-up desire.
She could feel his hesitation, the slight stiffening of his shoulders as he attempted to resist. Then she felt him give in, his body at once relaxing and coming alive against hers.
He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her even tighter against him, one hand splayed across her back to keep her just where he wanted her. Then he kissed her back, and she completely forgot anything other than the feel of his lips, demanding as they moved over hers.
Lissa wound her fingers even tighter into his hair and moaned as he grabbed a handful of her red curls and pulled, drawing her head back and trailing feather-light kisses down her neck that only made her crave more from him.
“Jesse…” she whispered, letting her hands fall to his shoulders and dig into the strong muscles to urge him on.
He raised his head and looked at her, eyes clouded with need. “Lissa, you don’t understand. It has to be for me to decide.” It was almost a plea, a last-ditch effort to stop this from going any further. And not enough to convince her. He wanted her too, as badly as she wanted him. And if that was the case, then whatever reservations he had could be dealt with. Because in spite of what he said, he kept his hold tight on her, as if he were afraid she’d slip away.
She wasn’t going anywhere. “Why?” she whispered, her lips still only inches from his. “You’ve admitted there is something here between us. I think it’s fairly obvious I feel the same way. Who are you to decide for me what I want?” She was emboldened now with her newfound knowledge that this wasn’t one-sided.
“I want you, Jesse, and I won’t let you decide for me any longer what is and isn’t okay for me.”
Jesse lowered his forehead to hers, bringing a hand around to cup her cheek, and the look he gave her begged for understanding. “I’m not good for you. I can’t ever be what you need. What you deserve. I’m not being flippant when I say that you’ll only end up hurt with me. That’s what I’m trying to protect you from. What I’ve always been trying to protect you from.”
“I don’t need your protection. I’m a big girl now, in case you haven’t noticed.” She gave him a sly smile, knowing exactly what she was implying and hoping it would be a sufficient distraction from this ridiculous insistence about how he thought he would hurt her.
Bingo! He lifted his head from hers and let his gaze travel down over her clinging t-shirt and snug jeans.
“You don’t have to tell me that. God, I spend every day trying to ignore the fact.” The fight had gone out of him, and he gave her that endearing half-smile that always ramped up her heartbeat.
Lissa pressed herself even closer until their bodies were flush and she had to arch her neck to keep her eyes on his. “Then let me make my own decisions.”
He shook his head, almost imperceptibly. “You don’t know what you’re getting into. Lissa, I can’t be the man you need.” He was warning her, but she didn’t care.
“What makes you so sure you know what I need?”
His face held an odd combination of sadness and affection. “Because I know you. And I know that I can’t give you what you want.” He slowly stroked her jaw with the pad of his thumb.
Lissa closed her eyes and let herself get lost in the sensation of him touching her. “And what might that be?” she asked, distracted again, only halfway listening. She turned her face to press a kiss to his palm.
“A family. Kids. A future.”
That got her attention. Eyes snapping open again, she trained her gaze on him. He was waging a battle within himself; it was written all over his face. “Getting a bit ahead of yourself, aren’t you, Kincade?” Her attempt at keeping her voice light fell short.
He shook his head, never dropping his hand or his gaze, but Lissa could still feel him start to pull back again. “I need to be completely honest with you. Since we seem to be putting it all out there.”
A small bubble of nervous laughter escaped Lissa’s lips. “So we are.” Never would she have dreamed when coming out to the stables that they would be having this conversation. This intimacy. That Jesse would have revealed so much of what he felt to her. But right now all she could care about was how good it felt to be this close, to have him finally give her what she’d been longing for.
The were clinging together by a tenuous thread, and the next words he spoke could very well snap it. She wasn’t ready for that. Shaking her head gently, she looked him full on, trying to make her intentions clear.
“I don’t need to hear it. Not right now. Let’s just live in the moment. I don’t want to think about the future. I only want to be here. With you. Now.” And in that moment, she meant it. If this was all he could give her, she’d take it.
He searched her face, looking for any hint of uncertainty. He must have been satisfied with what he found, or he gave up caring, because he nodded once then gave her that lopsided smile.
“In that case…”
In a matter of seconds, he’d grabbed her by the hips and walked her backward until she was pressed into the hard planks of the stable wall. Trapped between the wall and the hardness of his own body, she surrendered in satisfaction, her mouth dropping open on a sigh.
The kiss was soft, though, at first. As Jesse tenderly explored her lips with his own, she felt as though she would burst. Every nerve ending was attuned to his touch. He trailed a finger up her arm, the moth-wing sensation causing her to shiver.
She n
eeded more. Groping for the hem of his shirt, she slid her hands inside and ran them along the hard ridges of his stomach. His fingers tightened on her in response, and suddenly neither of them could get enough. He swept his tongue into her mouth, and she met him with an intensity that matched his own.
When he brought his hand to her breast, she thought she would come undone. Her hips rocked against him and found that his tight jeans did nothing to hide the affect this was having on him.
Gasping for breath, she broke the kiss and looked at up at him, slightly wild-eyed, and he grinned down at her. “Had enough?” he teased, the heat in his eyes evident despite the lightness of his words, and she knew he certainly hadn’t.
If the one other kiss they’d shared had left her yearning for more all these months, this one had her completely desperate, craving him with a hunger that wouldn’t be sated.
“Never,” she breathed, and pulled him back to her.
He made good work of it and didn’t release her until she had been well and thoroughly kissed, legs turned to jelly, and brain completely muddled. They walked out of the barn, arms around each other, and she didn’t even realize that his last mumbled words included Jack, Cassie, and dinner until she found herself standing back in the kitchen, Jesse’s hand resting lightly on her hip and Cassie grinning at her with a look that said, I told you so.
She would have normally been slightly embarrassed, but at the moment she was just too shocked by the events of the day to care. The only thing that dampened her spirits was the thought that this must be too good to be true. And as she glanced at Jesse and noticed the tension around his mouth, despite the easy conversation he made with Jack, she couldn’t help but worry what the next day would bring.
***
By Monday Jesse was dreading going into the office more than he could ever remember. He’d spent the weekend away from work, letting the part-time employees handle what business there was on Saturday.
Now he stood outside the office door listening to see if Lissa was inside. Facing her after what happened on Friday could go one of two ways, and he wasn’t sure which he preferred. He heard her laugh, his stomach clenching at the sound of her voice. Then he felt momentary relief when he realized she must be on the phone. He could make it past her desk and into his office without having to have a conversation.
Chastising himself for being such a coward, he quickly rounded the corner and stopped dead in his tracks. She wasn’t on the phone at all, but sitting on the edge of her desk, head thrown back in laughter at something that a man he’d never seen before must have said.
He was instantly overcome with a wave of jealousy and wanted nothing more than to grab the well-dressed man by the shirt and haul him out the back door. Instead, he stood there with his fists clenched, trying to rein in his temper. What was going on with him? He was definitely not the jealous type. In fact, he was so used to getting the attention of any woman he wanted that it was an entirely unfamiliar emotion to him.
The other man noticed his entrance and stopped talking. Lissa must have noticed the change in the atmosphere because she suddenly looked in his direction and her eyes widened, her laughter dying in her throat and a flush creeping its way up her neck.
Recovering herself quickly, Lissa jumped off the desk and walked over to Jesse, grabbing him by the elbow and pulling him closer.
“Jesse, this is Micah.” She looked at him expectantly, but he just stared back dumbly. Was he supposed to know who this was? He was having a hard time thinking past the red haze in front of his eyes and the fact that he wanted to grab Lissa and throw a jacket over his shoulders to cover up some of the skin that her spaghetti strap dress was revealing. Get a hold of yourself, man.
He had come in here contemplating telling Lissa that their kiss was a mistake, and now here he was feeling more possessive of her than he could ever have imagined. What was going on with him?
“Nice to meet you, Jesse,” Micah said smoothly, extending his hand. Jesse stuck his hand out stiffly and shook the offered hand, noting dimly in the recesses of his brain that Micah had very soft hands. He must be losing his mind to think of something like that.
Lissa nudged him in the ribs, and he had the presence of mind enough to echo, “Nice to meet you.”
She looked at him like he was crazy. “I don’t know what’s gotten into Jesse this morning, Micah. I’m so sorry. He must not have had his coffee yet.” Lissa marched over to her fancy coffee machine and started brewing him a cup of coffee.
She smiled at him through clenched teeth. “If you’ll remember, Jesse, Micah is one of Lanie’s friends from school? He also knows a bit about the fashion industry, so he’s going to help us with implementing the first phases of the business plan.” She quirked a brow at him, and then it all made sense.
He felt like an idiot. He should have remembered this; it was something they had discussed last week. Last week before that kiss. Before the fact that Lissa flirting with another man had reduced him to a Neanderthal that seemingly couldn’t speak in anything more than monosyllables. Now he turned back to get a better look at Micah, catching the slight tilt at the corners of the other man’s mouth and the arched eyebrow. Jesse squinted questioningly at the man only to see him shake his head slightly.
Lissa walked back over with the coffee and handed it to Jesse, still eyeing him warily. “Here, why don’t we sit down and I can go over some of these plans with you too.”
Over the course of the next thirty minutes, Jesse sipped on his coffee and mostly listened, making only small noises of assent when a response was required. He knew he was being rude, but he was wrapped up in his thoughts and unable to focus much on the conversation. Luckily it looked as if Lissa had it all under control.
He was too busy analyzing his own reaction to what he had walked in on. Even though he now knew it was nothing, as he could plainly see that Micah was not interested in Lissa—or any other woman for that matter—his response had all of his earlier ideas flying out the window. He had been so reasonable over the weekend, thinking that he would discuss everything with Lissa and let her know that it had been a moment of weakness.
Now that was the furthest thing from his mind, and he couldn’t wait to get her alone just to get his hands on her again. At the moment, any strength he might have had in letting her go was gone. He had no idea how this could end well for either of them, but all that mattered to him right now was that he had her.
When the meeting was over and Micah had left, Lissa whirled on whom, eyes wide and hands on her hips, per usual. “What the hell was that?”
Instead of a response, Jesse glanced out into the main part of the store, and seeing that no one was there, shut the office door and pulled Lissa to him. “Just that I’ve been waiting all weekend to do this again.” And he lowered his mouth to hers.
CHAPTER SEVEN
“You want to call it what?” The look Jesse gave her made her clamp her lips together tightly to fight back a smile. It was the same face he’d made the first time he’d ever tried sushi.
“The Boot-ique,” Lissa said patiently.
Jesse stood up and paced around the office, shoulders tense and eyes casting back and forth as if the right words to say were there if he could only find them. “Lissa, sweetheart, I think you have done an amazing job with everything so far—”
“So you love it then?”
“Well, I think that it’s a start…”
She couldn’t hold it back any longer. Doubling over with laughter, she could barely make out the clenched jaw and glittering eyes that Jesse aimed her way.
“I can’t believe you fell for it.” Lissa wiped a tear from the corner of her eye.
“You are nothing but trouble, Miss Winters.” He gave her a hard glare, but she knew better. Amusement was hidden just below the surface, and after a minute his lips quirked up into a smile.
“What would you have done if I was serious? Because you certainly weren’t about to tell me what you really think.”
Lissa was still having trouble getting used to the fact that he randomly grabbed her and kissed her. It was all very surreal. They’d fallen into an easy, companionable rhythm, even in just a week. Almost as if they were meant for one another and recognized it on some level.
But she was no fool. They were playing a dangerous game, and she knew it could all come crumbling down at any moment. While Jesse had made it clear that whatever this was, and it most definitely was not a commitment, she couldn’t help hoping that at some point it would naturally evolve into something more. That was the way of these things, right? No. Stop. You’re only asking for trouble with that line of thinking.
“Mmm.” She gave him her own suggestive smile. “And just what might that be like, being kissed until I can’t think straight?”
“As if you don’t know,” he teased.
“Think mighty highly of your kissing skills, don’t you? I’m not convinced you could pull it off.”
With a sudden movement that took her by surprise, even though she was expecting a reaction, he grabbed her and flipped her around so that she was sitting on his lap.
Some time later, so thoroughly convinced of his skill that she wasn’t even sure what day it was, much less how long they’d been there, she pulled away, dizzy and breathless.
“I think your face speaks for itself,” Jesse said, putting his hands behind his head and leaning back against the couch.
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