Why had his stomach lurched when he’d said the word baby? Ridiculous. He shook his head and chalked it up to some much-needed guy time. He’d be sure to rectify that once Jack made sure Cassie was up for him leaving her.
“What are you to up to?” Lissa walked up to the counter and leaned over, checking out the schedule they’d just been looking at.
“See, what did I tell you?” He winked at Abby and smiled innocently when Lissa narrowed her eyes at him.
“Talking about me, are you?” She shrugged and laughed, turning to face Abby. “Don’t believe a word of it.”
“All good things, sweetheart.” He gave her a lazy grin, but couldn’t resist giving her a quick kiss.
Abby cleared her throat when what he’d meant to be a small hello kiss started to heat up. “Like that, is it?”
In better spirits than he’d been in a while, he smiled at her. “It is. I told you, Lissa accepts nothing but the best.”
Lissa made a huge display of rolling her eyes at that as she made her way back to the office, but it only made him grin bigger. The weight of his relationship with his sister had weighed heavier on him than he’d realized, and now that it looked like they had an opportunity to really get to know one another, nothing could put a damper on his mood, not even when she reappeared a moment later announcing that the toilet needed attention.
“Come on, little sis, let me introduce you to one more of your duties.”
He lifted his hands when both Lissa and Abby gave him looks that screamed, “You have to be kidding.”
“Okay, okay, I’ll handle that one myself.”
Lissa swatted his butt as he passed her and he could just hear her whisper something not-so-nice to Abby over the sound of his whistling.
***
The next few weeks flew by in a blur of craziness. If not for her coffee, Lissa didn’t know how she would have made it. The opening of the store was only days away, and things weren’t anywhere near ready. How this could be, she had no idea. It certainly wasn’t due to her lack of planning, despite the comments Jesse would make about “the avalanche she called a desk.”
“I have a system,” she told him repeatedly. “I wouldn’t expect you to understand.” To that, he only shrugged his shoulders and backed away slowly.
She was growing more and more irritable by the day, and she didn’t understand why other than that the stress must be getting to her.
Maggie came by after school every day to help dress mannequins and make sure the displays were perfect, and even she noticed something wasn’t quite right with Lissa. “You’re even crankier than Lanie these days. What’s the matter with you?”
She sighed, pausing from folding shirts with a folding board. “It’s just the stress of getting this done by Saturday. We only have three more days.”
“Relax, will you? You’ve turned into some crazy Shopzilla. What happened to the carefree sister I know?”
“Are you sure you aren’t talking about yourself?”
“Quite sure. You’re the fun one. Lanie is the workaholic.”
Lissa had to smile at her sister’s perception of her. She liked to think she was fun, but lately she sure didn’t feel like it.
“And what might you be?”
Maggie shrugged as she put a hat on a mannequin, took it off and stepped back to examine her work, then put it back on. “I’m still figuring that one out.”
She loved her sister’s outlook. Nothing was too serious. She used to be like that. Well, she thought so. Until she’d gotten all wrapped up in a certain tall, dark and handsome man that tied her stomach in knots.
Ugh, there it went again. Her stomach had been giving her trouble all week. She knew she was stressed about the store, and it was doing a number on her intestines.
Maggie glanced at her and frowned. “You look awful. And I say that with all my love.”
“Thanks.” Lissa grimaced, resuming her folding. “Now before I lose my train of thought, what were you saying about Lanie being cranky? Is it because I asked her to take care of the marketing stuff I couldn’t get to.” There was only so much time in a day. She’d thought their original projected open date would be plenty of time. Lanie assured her all new businesses thought that, and it never was.
Maggie shrugged again as she moved on to another mannequin. “No, I don’t think it’s that. I did hear her on the phone the other night.”
Lissa rolled her eyes. “Were you on the other extension, by chance?”
Maggie had the audacity to look offended. “Of course not! She was on her cell.” She burst into a fit of giggles and Lissa couldn’t suppress a laugh of her own. Typical.
“Well, don’t hold out on me. What did you hear?”
“She was fighting with Sergei. Again.” Sergei was her on-again-off-again boyfriend that she’d met at business school. He lived an hour away and was working his way up the corporate later in the city.
“So what are they this time? On or off?”
“Off. And this time I think it’s permanent.” Maggie glanced around, almost dramatically in Lissa’s opinion, even though they were the only two in the store right then. “I think he was cheating on her.”
Lissa’s heart sank. How could anyone do that to her sweet sister? “Oh no. Why didn’t she tell me?”
Maggie pursed her lips, looking as if she was debating what to say next.
“What aren’t you telling me, Margaret Elizabeth?”
Maggie wrinkled her nose. “Ugh, really? You had to pull out the full name?”
“Don’t change the subject.”
“Fine. She hasn’t talked to you about it because she knows you’ve been really busy and you don’t need anything else on your plate. You haven’t been to dinner in two weeks. That means something.”
She hadn’t been, and she regretted that she’d had to miss them. But the store… Surely when it was opened and running smoothly she wouldn’t be up here all the time. It just required a lot of her right now.
“Lissa,” Maggie came over to her and put her hand on her arm, “Mom’s worried about you too. She says she’s never seen you work yourself so hard, and she’s afraid you’re going to make yourself sick if you don’t get some rest. Not to be rude, but you do look a bit like death.” She grinned as if that would soften the blow.
Just the mention of getting some rest had her longing to go catch a nap on the couch in the office. Surely she could swing thirty minutes, right? She was just so very tired. Run down, even, as if her body didn’t have enough energy to get her through the day.
She shook her head, forgetting the idea of a nap. Three more days. Then the store would be up and running.
Maggie finished up for the day a couple hours later, and Lissa locked the front doors and turned the sign to “Closed” before putting away the last of the folded shirts. If she never had to fold another plaid shirt, it would be too soon.
She made her way to the office and slumped down on the couch. Just five minutes. She’d close her eyes for five minutes and then she’d start the final inventory count.
She was jolted awake a moment later by the sound of her phone ringing, but when she glanced at the clock on the wall, she was shocked to see it was almost eight o’clock.
“Where are you?” came Jesse’s worried voice when she answered her phone. “You were supposed to meet me for dinner thirty minutes ago.”
“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry. I must have fallen asleep.”
“That’s it. I’m coming to get you and taking you home.”
Lissa tried to sound firm, but it was a very weak protest. “No, I still have things I need to do.”
“I don’t care.” Now that was the firmness she’d been going for. “I’m taking you home, and you’re going straight to bed and sleeping until you wake up. No coming in early tomorrow. Or maybe even at all.”
Well, that was ridiculous. Way too much to be done. But he was one step ahead of her. “Mom and Abby can take care of inventory. Why do you insist on do
ing everything yourself? Wait, don’t answer that. I’ll be there in five.”
She must have fallen back asleep because the next thing she remembered was Jesse lying her down on her bed and asking her if she wanted something to eat or drink.
The thought of food made her stomach start to twist in knots, and she wondered dimly if maybe her mother was right and she was working so hard she’d made herself sick. She shook her head no, and the last thing she remembered was Jesse curling up behind her and stroking her hair as she fell back to sleep.
***
Jesse was worried. Lissa had never acted like this before. She was irritable, exhausted, and he was afraid she was going to end up in the hospital if she didn’t give herself a break.
It was ironic that he’d been so worried about being the one to work so much that he had no time for anyone or anything other than the store. And here it turned out that it was Lissa. He felt no small amount of guilt that she was doing this for him. Sure it was her project, and she was enjoying it—or at least she had been—but she had taken it on to save his store.
And now she had run herself into the ground. By the next morning, after she had slept solidly through the night, he thought maybe she would be feeling better. He’d stayed on her couch all night so he wouldn’t disturb her sleep. But he hadn’t felt like leaving her.
When he woke up to the sound of her slamming the bathroom door, then the unmistakable sound of her being sick, he knew this was more than exhaustion.
“Lissa!” He tried the doorknob, but it was locked. Knocking gently, then more firmly, he said, “Let me in, please. I want to make sure you’re okay.”
“Go away,” came her weak voice.
“I won’t. Now open the door.”
“I don’t want you to see me like this. Please just go.”
He absolutely would not leave her sick on the bathroom floor. Time to call in the reinforcements.
Less than ten minutes later Maggie and Lanie both were there, and Lissa let them right in.
It didn’t take long for Lanie to come back out and stare him down with an incomprehensible look upon her face.
“What? Is she okay?”
“She will be. She’s overworked and her body can’t deal with it all.” She brushed past him and started into the kitchen, where she began rummaging through Lissa’s purse with her back turned to him.
“I’ve tried to get her to slow down. She won’t listen.” He felt guilty enough as it was. Now he was pretty sure Lanie thought it was all his fault.
She froze and dropped the purse back onto the counter. What was her deal? When she turned back to face him, her face was carefully blank. “I know. She doesn’t listen to anyone. Look, I’m going to run to the drugstore to get her some things. I’ll be right back.” And she was gone.
Maggie and Lissa didn’t come out of the bathroom the entire time Lanie was gone, and Jesse could hear their muffled voices through the door but had no idea what they were saying. He felt completely useless, but he wasn’t going to just leave. Maybe she needed to go to the hospital.
Just as he was about to make the suggestion, Lanie came rushing back through the door with a plastic bag and went straight to the bathroom, not even looking at him.
He heard the voices rise and knew they were arguing about something. “No, I won’t take it,” he heard clearly. Was Lissa refusing to take the medicine?
Finally, Maggie and Lanie came out of the bathroom, leaving her in there.
Jesse rushed to their sides. “Do I need to take her to the doctor? Something isn’t right. Maybe she has food poisoning?”
The women just stared at him, then Lanie shook her head, lips pursed tightly together. “Just give her a minute.”
What the hell?
Jesse went back into the living room and tried to distract himself. This was getting to be ridiculous. Why wouldn’t Lissa let him in to see her? And why were Lanie and Maggie acting so strange?
Just as he was about to demand that Lissa let him take her to the doctor, she emerged from the bathroom, face white and pinched. He started toward her, but one look from her stopped him in his tracks.
She glanced at her sisters and gave a slight nod, and Maggie gasped. Lanie searched her sister’s face, for what he didn’t know, then nodded as well.
“Can you give us a few minutes?” Lissa asked them.
Lanie and Maggie hugged her in turn, then hurried from the room, shutting the door behind them and leaving Jesse alone with Lissa.
He went immediately to her and put his arms around her. “I’m really worried about you. I think we should go to the doctor.”
She shook her head, and her voice drifted up to him, muffled by where he held her head to his chest. “A doctor can’t fix this.”
He pulled back and studied her face. Yeah, she didn’t look well, but what really got him was the look in her eyes. Shock. Joy. Fear. A combination that suddenly had his stomach dropping as if he’d just gone over the hill of a roller coaster. She didn’t have to speak the words for him to know.
But she did anyway.
It was a barely audible whisper, but he heard them as if they’d been blared through a loudspeaker.
“I’m pregnant.”
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
She stood waiting for him to say something. Anything. But he simply stood there staring at her, looking just as shocked as she felt. The minute Laney suggested she might be pregnant she had known it was true. That was the only explanation for the debilitating exhaustion she had felt for the past few weeks. She realized now that she had been so busy and distracted that she had lost count with her pills. She felt like an idiot, completely irresponsible.
Was Jesse going to be furious with her? This was the last thing he wanted. He had made that more than abundantly clear. They could be together, but he did not want children.
And in this moment, when she realized she was carrying his child, the contradictory emotions that she felt nearly overwhelmed her. Joy—for the thing she had always wanted most in this world, and with the very man she had wanted it with. Fear—that he would say exactly what she expected him to and walk out of her apartment, dashing all hopes of a future together. Sorrow—with the knowledge that regardless of what he said at this moment, she knew what she had to do. Her heart broke with the surety of it.
Jesse stepped forward tentatively, searching her eyes as if for an indication of what he should say, what he should do.
“Lissa, I just can’t believe it. I honestly don’t know what to say.”
Lissa nodded mutely. He still wasn’t giving a hint of what he was going to do, and his face was giving her no insight into what he must be thinking. But she was certain she knew. This was the last thing he wanted.
In the brief moments while her sister was gone to retrieve the test, Lissa had come to a quick conclusion. She had been fooling herself the entire time. She knew deep down that she would never be fully satisfied with what Jesse was willing to give her. He had said it all along, but she had callously dismissed it, pushed it down and not acknowledged it, because she knew it was true. And she was so willing to take whatever she could get of him that she had denied her true self.
Now, with another life to think of other than her own, she knew that she couldn’t be selfish. She had to be honest with herself. And the fact that he didn’t believe himself to be capable of giving her the family that she wanted was enough for her to know what she had to do. She wanted all of him, the full package. If he wasn’t in it completely, she knew she couldn’t be a part of it. It was all or nothing.
She finally found her voice again. “Look, this is the last thing I expected. I hope you know that.”
Jesse interrupted her. “I would never think that you would do something like this on purpose, Lissa. I know you better than that. I’m just having a hard time processing this. You’ll have to bear with me.”
She nodded again, feeling strangely like a bobble-head doll. “Me too. It’s going to take a bit to sink in.�
� She drew in a steadying breath, bracing herself for the words she had to say, and met his gaze squarely.
“Here’s the thing, Jesse. You think you know me better than I know myself. Well, you may be right. I don’t want to call what we’ve had together a mistake because it meant so much to me.”
His eyes narrowed, and he took another step toward her, grasping her arms and pulling her closer to him. “Why are you speaking of us in the past tense?” He looked wary.
She dropped her gaze. She couldn’t look at him. It hurt too much. “Jesse, you know as well as I do that this isn’t what you want. You’ve made it more than clear to me all along. Just like all along I’ve been too stubborn to listen.”
“But now you have it. You have what you’ve always wanted.” His voice had a bit of an edge to it, but she couldn’t quite place the tone or figure out what he was feeling. Regret? Frustration? It didn’t matter.
She shook her head sadly. “But I don’t, don’t you see that? This isn’t what I want. Yes, I’ve always wanted to have a baby, a family, and in my dreams it was always with you. But if you don’t want this, how can that be a dream come true?”
“I don’t know what you’re trying to say. I’m still trying to understand what’s going on, to process the fact that you’re pregnant. I’m sorry, but you’re going to have to be clearer.”
She gathered all her courage and said what she knew had to be said. “We can’t be together any longer, Jesse. I won’t be in a relationship with you just because of a baby. It’s not fair to the child. And I won’t hold you down by trapping you into marriage or anything else just because I’m pregnant. I think it’s best if you just go.” She turned away from him, but just as quickly, he grabbed her elbow and spun her back around.
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