by Meg Muldoon
She’d told me it came down to one telling thing – that no matter how much time they’d spent together, Greg could never remember how she took her coffee. She said if he couldn’t bother to get that right, it showed that he couldn’t be trusted to get more important things right down the line. And that no vacation in the Caribbean was going to change that.
I’d admired her to no end for sticking up for herself like. And for putting her own happiness first.
“I’d say the two of us did pretty well with our costumes this year,” she said, going over to the freezer. “Especially considering everything that’s gone on this month.”
“Yeah,” I said. “You could say that again.”
The month had been one of the most difficult of my life. Between Mindy’s kidnapping, all the work I’d been putting in at the office on her case and the stories, and Sam… It felt like I’d been through hell and back again.
But lately, I’d been trying to convince myself that there was a silver lining to every dark cloud. And that there were lessons I could take from everything that had happened.
I was going to focus more on my career and work harder than I had before. I was going to start making more of an effort to move up in the journalism field. I was going to stop making important life choices based on love.
And I was going to do something else, too: I was going to grow up. To give up that fairytale fantasy I’d been clinging onto all these years. The one that all little girls learn to believe in at a young age – that some knight in shining armor is going to show up and sweep you off your feet.
I hadn’t admitted it to myself, but I’d been clinging onto that dream for a long time now. And all I had to show for it was a smashed-up heart and a low-paying job.
I was going to grow up and find something else to love.
That’s the little pep talk I’d been giving myself, anyway. The one I chanted in the deepest darkest moments of the night, when thoughts of the way Sam’s warm, strong arms felt around me crept back into my mind.
Lou came up beside me suddenly, placing two shot glasses down on the counter. She uncorked a clear, square bottle of tequila, filling both glasses with the golden liquid.
She pushed one of them in my direction and smiled.
“Here’s to the two Wolf sisters,” she said, lifting her shot glass up. “And to looking hot, and going stag.”
Good old Lou.
I clinked my glass against hers. Then at the same time, we both downed the shot.
It was going to take some time to get over a heartbreak like this.
Hell, maybe there’d be no getting over it.
But at least I could always count on one person in my life to be there for me when the chips were down.
Chapter 61
I stood outside in the parking lot, sucking in a deep breath, letting the crisp fall air wash over my hot skin.
The vibration of the bass pounding away inside The Barkery rose up from the concrete, making its way up through my bare feet.
I’d given into Lou’s goading about wearing the skyscraper heels after all. But after about an hour of standing and dancing, I couldn’t take them anymore. I’d come outside, as much to take off the horrid things as to give myself and Mugs a break from the crowd.
I stared up at the hangnail moon and watched a silvery cloud drift across its face. I took in another deep breath, trying to quench the emotion rising up like a black tide in the back of my throat.
The Howl-O-Ween Fundraiser was a hit. The Barkery was packed to the hilt. The food was typically Lou-esque, which meant that it was outrageously good. The dance music was lively and got people moving and swaying straight off the bat. And everywhere you looked, people and dogs in costumes were smiling and laughing and eating and drinking heartily.
Mindy and Bogey had showed up. Fitting of his namesake, Bogey was dressed in a hat and a jacket, looking like a handsome PI. Mindy had dressed as a femme fatale worthy of a Humphrey Bogart leading lady, and last I’d seen, she’d been talking for a long time with Roy O’Leary, a handsome and single handyman who did a lot of repairs for The Barkery.
Scott and Jennifer and a few other reporters from the newsroom had come, too. And surprisingly, even Kobritz himself had put in an appearance. The humorless editor had even smiled a couple of times.
I’d done some of that myself in the last hour. I laughed, too. But then… then… something happened.
An old slow song had come on the speakers. And though I’d never really paid much attention to the song before, something about it and watching all of those happy couples swaying together on the dance floor had caused that ache inside of me to flare up again.
And to flare up bad.
I’d come outside, bringing Mugs with me, seeking refuge from the song. Trying to get out before I broke down in front of everyone. Looking for a moment alone to collect myself.
I gazed up at the moon, the ache burning me up so bad inside, I could hardly breathe.
Hot tears flooded my eyes.
I could talk to myself about silver linings and positive attitudes and good lessons and good career decisions all I wanted to.
But in the end, none of it changed the fact that I’d lost.
None of it changed the fact that I didn’t have him.
None of it changed the fact that there was a giant empty hole the size of the Grand Canyon running through the center of my being.
When I’d been in love with Jimmy, I thought it was real. I thought that what I was feeling was the true thing.
But now I saw that what I’d felt for Jimmy wasn’t love. At least, not true love. What I’d had with Sam had showed me that. Because what I had felt for Sam was something else altogether.
Something I knew I might not ever know again.
A round of laughter erupted from inside The Barkery, and I quickly wiped away the tears streaming down my face. I glanced back, gazing in through the windows.
I watched as Pete pulled Lou closer to him as they danced, whispering something in her ear. A moment later, she threw her head back, laughing one of those deep-throated, generous laughs of hers. Something I’d rarely seen her do since her divorce.
Pete’s eyes sparkled.
I found the edges of my mouth lifting slightly, seeing the two of them like that.
Pete probably still had no chance to get Lou back. But seeing them dancing together made me think that there might still be one. A small, slim, and nearly non-existent chance. But a chance, nonetheless.
Pete wasn’t perfect. And I knew there was a lot more that Lou wanted out of a man. But she’d loved him once. And he loved her to the moon and back – and he still did. And maybe – just maybe, there was enough love still there for something to spark again.
Or maybe I was still believing in the fantasy of true love.
I turned away from the cozy, happy scene. A stiff October wind that smelled of pine and damp earth blew into my face, drying the trail of tears.
I had to get out of there.
Chapter 62
There were blisters all over my feet. My calf muscles were screaming. And all my makeup had sweated off and stained my cat costume.
But I had made it.
I reached the top of Dog Mountain, my chest heaving like I’d just run a triathlon.
Mugs trotted out ahead of me, tugging me along the tree-lined path as it flattened out at the summit. A smoky breeze shook the pines, and up above, the stars peeked in and out of silver clouds.
In the light of the moon, I saw that only one car was parked in the summit parking lot.
I stopped for a moment and gazed down at the sparkling lights of my hometown.
I thought about Sam. About the last time we’d been up here. About how much I missed everything about him. Everything from his laughter to the plastic vinyl smell of his police cruiser.
But I thought about something else, too.
I thought about how I was going to make it past this.
It wasn’t going to
be easy.
But I’d make it. And I’d come out on the other side as a stronger person.
One day, I’d wake up, and the hurt would be less. And the pain would start to fade. And I’d start feeling whole again. One day, I’d forget all about him. One day, things would be—
“Lou told me you’d be here.”
Chapter 63
I wasn’t hearing things.
And I wasn’t hallucinating, either.
But for a long moment, I just gazed at him, thinking I must have been.
I wondered if this was some figment of my imagination. A trick my subconscious had been saving up especially for me on this All Hallows’ Eve.
But then, the hallucination spoke again, and I realized that he was real.
He really was standing there in front of me.
And he really was holding a bouquet of roses in his hands.
And those really were his dark eyes staring at me lovingly again.
“What are you doing here—”
“I shouldn’t have done it,” he said.
He stepped closer, standing just inches away. The familiar scent of his skin overwhelmed me. My heart fluttered madly in my chest.
“I shouldn’t have let you fall, Freddie,” he said. “But I did. And I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry I did that to you.”
I said nothing.
He had let me fall. More than that, he’d let me drown.
It wasn’t something a bouquet of roses could fix.
As if reading my thoughts, he looked ashamed suddenly.
“It was the last thing I ever wanted to do to you,” he said. “The very last thing.”
The tears followed a familiar path down my face, and I made no attempt to brush them away.
I wanted him to see them.
I wanted him to know just how much pain he’d caused.
I wanted him to—
“I’m not wearing a costume tonight,” he said.
“So?”
“So I came here tonight to tell you something,” he said. “I’m not perfect. And I know you deserve better.”
He sucked in a deep breath.
“But I came here tonight to tell you that I’ll be your anything, Freddie.”
He gazed deep into my eyes.
“If you want me to quit being a cop for you, I’ll be an ex-cop. If you want me to be yours again, I’ll be yours forever. If you want to hear that I’ve never felt this way about anybody in my life, then I’ll tell you that, and I’ll mean every word. If you want me to get out of your sight, I’ll live the rest of my life alone, in despair, away from you.”
He leaned in close to me.
“And if you want me to love you and to take care of you, the way you deserve to be loved and cared for, then I’ll—”
I stepped up to him, grabbing his collar, stopping the fountain of words.
I kissed him passionately, tenderly, lovingly. My tears sliding down my own face, and his too.
I could no longer be mad at him or deny my own feelings.
Because I did want him to be my anything.
And I wanted to be his, too.
“You’re all I want, Freddie,” he said, pulling away and looking down into my eyes. “And nothing else matters. Nothing, Freddie. Regular love might not be enough. But my love for you always will be.”
I looked up at him, searching his eyes.
“Don’t you ever do that to me again, Sam,” I said. “You understand? Don’t ever let me fall like that.”
He swallowed hard.
“I won’t,” he said. “You have my word.”
I knew in my very being that every word he said was true.
I hugged him hard, burying my head in his chest. Feeling his arms around me again, like sunshine on a freezing winter’s day.
It was enough.
We’d both made mistakes. We’d both said the wrong things. But we were both wise enough to see that what we had was more important than anything else.
I didn’t believe in fairytales anymore. That part was true.
But on a cool, crisp night like tonight, with the stars and the city lights of Dog Mountain sparkling like crystals, it seemed like anything was possible.
And that even fairytales could come true.
He smiled. Then he reached for my hand, kissing it.
He gazed deep into my soul.
“Let’s go home, Freddie,” he whispered.
The End
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Look for these exciting books from Meg Muldoon in 2016!
Missing in Christmas River: A Christmas Cozy Mystery (Book 9)
Corgis & Conspiracy: A Dog Town USA Cozy Mystery (Book 3)
Ginger of the West: A Broomfield Bay Cozy Mystery (Book 1) (with Jools Sinclair)
Buried in Broken Hearts Junction: A Cozy Matchmaker Mystery (Book 3)
Murder in Christmas River: A Christmas Cozy Mystery (Book 1)
Mayhem in Christmas River: A Christmas in July Cozy Mystery (Book 2)
Madness in Christmas River: A Christmas Cozy Mystery (Book 3)
Malice in Christmas River: A Christmas Cozy Mystery (Book 4)
Mischief in Christmas River: A Christmas Cozy Mystery (Book 5)
Manic in Christmas River: A Christmas Cozy Mystery (Book 6)
Magic in Christmas River: A Christmas Cozy Mystery (Book 7)
Menace in Christmas River: A Christmas Cozy Mystery (Book 8)
Roasted in Christmas River: A Thanksgiving Cozy Mystery Novella
Burned in Broken Hearts Junction: A Cozy Matchmaker Mystery (Book 1)
Busted in Broken Hearts Junction: A Cozy Matchmaker Mystery (Book 2)
Mutts & Murder: A Dog Town USA Cozy Mystery (Book 1)
About the Author
Amazon Bestselling Author Meg Muldoon loves writing cozy mysteries. A former small town news reporter, Meg has always had a special place in her heart for lost dogs, homeless cats, and feisty old locals. She enjoys bourbon bread pudding, red cowboy boots and craft glue guns.
Meg lives in Central Oregon with an Australian cattle dog named Huckleberry.
For more about Meg and her upcoming books, join her on Facebook or visit her Blog.
To sign up for the Meg Muldoon new book alert mailing list, and to get Meg’s Cozy Corner newsletters, click here.