by Anna Lewis
“It doesn’t have to be the end though, does it?” Amber asked me a little desperately. “There are ways around it.”
But I couldn’t see any of them. It was like looking for a needle in a haystack, it just wasn’t there. “I don’t think so,” I told her sadly. “I think this is well and truly over.” And with that, my heart shattered into a million pieces in my chest.
***
I got into work super early the following Monday, because I needed to be the first there. I had to prepare myself for the utter humiliation that was to come. I needed to get myself totally ready for the worst day of my whole life.
I’m sorry, Mr. Smith, I practiced the speech again in my brain. I don’t think I can work for you anymore. I can either work out my notice until you find someone else… I desperately prayed that he didn’t go for that option. Or I can leave right now.
If I just didn’t look him in the eye, it’d be simple. I could just about get through it without totally losing my shit. I never wanted to leave this job, especially not under these unexpected conditions, but what else could I do? There was no way I could stay with my emotions all over the place, I’d end up going insane.
“Hello there,” I heard him coming in before I saw him. “Hi everyone.” He sounded far too chipper for my liking, like he wasn’t feeling anything like me. The fact that I was potentially about to destroy that happiness had my heart hammering guiltily in my chest. “Hello, Cassie. Do you mind stepping into my office in a moment? I need to speak to you?”
Shit, was he going to fire me before I quit? Somehow that would be a billion times worse because it’d also carry his rejection with it. “Erm, sure,” I stammered, trying to cover up the fact that I was dying inside. Still I couldn’t look at him. My eyes were everywhere but at Markus. “I’m coming.”
Unfortunately, Markus didn’t get the hint that I needed a moment alone, he waited for me which meant I couldn’t even breathe deeply to steady myself. Instead I had to go inside with panic bulldozing through my system.
I tiptoed through the door and took my seat, feeling like I was about to be scolded for allowing that night to happen.
“Are you okay, Cassie?” Markus asked me in a very kind tone of voice. “I feel like you’ve been avoiding me. You ran out…” My eyes snapped up to him as he brought up that night at work. I hadn’t been expecting him to actually speak of it here. Seeing his gorgeous eyes made my heart flip flop unwelcomely in my chest. “And that’s the first time you’ve looked at me since.” He reached across the desk and grabbed onto my hands, displaying none of the sex consciousness I was feeling. “I know it was a bit crazy, but you’re okay, aren’t you?”
“N… no,” I stammered as a reply. “I’m not really.” Everything felt hot and cold all at once. “I think I might have to… to leave. I can’t be here knowing that we… did that.”
“What?” he exclaimed loudly, jumping upright. I winced at the volume of his voice in such a public place, but again he had no self-consciousness about it. “Are you serious? You cannot leave. I can’t let that happen. I need you to stay.” As he moved around to the side of the desk where I was standing, I felt grateful that at least his office had no windows. No one could see the goings on in here. “I like you, Cassie, don’t you get that? You’re the best PA I’ve ever had.”
That comment burned my heart. My feelings for him ran way deeper, I couldn’t see him every day and know that he didn’t feel the same way that I did. “I can’t just be your PA anymore.” My eyes were welling up, I felt pain everywhere. “It’s too hard for me. I know this is my fault, but I shouldn’t have done anything with you knowing that I felt so much for you. Now I’m in a real mess.”
One stray tear escaped and cascaded down my cheek, which Markus rapidly flicked away. “What are you talking about? None of this is your fault. We’re consenting adults, aren’t we? We had fun on all the times we were together, didn’t we?” I nodded slowly, because I couldn’t deny that however much I wanted to. “So what’s the problem?”
He was being dense. I was going to have to spell it out, it was the only way this agonizing conversation would ever come to an end. “Markus, I’m in love with you. I have been for a very long time, and I finally get my chance with you and I blow it because of Ryan. I only like him in a physical way, and I’m gutted that had to be the reason this all ends…”
“Who says it has to end?” Markus interjected, wiggling his eyebrows at me. “I love you too, I have done for ages. The only reason I forced myself to keep away until I literally couldn’t resist anymore was because I know my sexual appetite isn’t to everyone’s taste.”
“Wait.” I held my hands on his chest to stop him for a moment. “So you really liked all of that?”
“Could you not tell?” His smirk made me chuckle, despite the weirdness of the situation. “Look, Cassie, I’ll be honest with you. All my relationships before have ended because I felt like I was forcing my kinkier side on them, that the others weren’t really into it, but with you it comes natural. I don’t get the impression that it’s things you’ve ever done before?” I shook my head, confirming his point, all the while my emotions were dancing all over my body. “But you like it, right?” I nodded silently, my vocal chords seemed unable to work. “So what’s the issue? You like kinky, I need it, I need someone to keep me on my toes.”
This was all resonating so much with me. Maybe this could actually work if we both loved each other enough. He liked thrilling new things, I was definitely up for trying them with him, so what could go wrong? It really felt like nothing.
“I am more than willing to do things on your terms, I would never want to push you into a situation that you aren’t comfortable with, but I love you, Cassie. I want to give us a try. The only question is, do you?”
“I do,” I gasped, clutching at my chest. I didn’t even need to really think about it, the answer was absolutely obvious. Markus had always been the man for me, now I could see just how much.
After all, who cared what went on with us in the bedroom? That was our business only.
“So, please stay and be my PA? And please be my girlfriend too? That would make me the happiest man alive?”
I smiled so brightly I feared my face might crack. This day had gone from the worst ever to the absolute best. I had to be the luckiest woman alive. “I will, to both those questions. Thank you so much, Markus.”
His lips met mine and I felt that chemistry once more, that really powerful spark. How could I say no to any of this? I’d have to be absolutely insane. No one made me feel as good as he did.
“Now I want you to go over there, and lock the office door,” he murmured into my mouth. “You want to try something new? We’re going to have sex in public, at work, over my desk, and I have a little surprise for you in my brief case too.”
“You do?” I could barely breathe with a nervous excitement. “Are you insane?”
“Very, but don’t worry, this room is sound proofed and no one can get in. I am about to show you a very good time. I have the sort of whips and toys in this bag that will drive you wild.”
Ooh, I liked the sound of that!
His seductive tone was enough to have me racing to the door and clicking the lock shut. I wanted to experience yet another very good time with Mr. Markus Smith.
“Do you always carry that sort of stuff around with you at work?” I purred as I flicked the lock downwards. “Or is it only for special occasions?”
“Trust me, Cassie Symmons,” He smirked as he flicked the case open, even laughing as I gasped loudly and clapped my hand across my mouth. “You’re going to find out.”
He reached out for me, and I took his hand happily. There wasn’t a single other person on the whole damn planet that I would be willing to take this crazy sexual journey with, but when it came to Markus, I knew that he’d be worth it. Just because he was a freak who wanted to unlock my crazy passionate side, didn’t make him any less sweet or caring. He was the perfect ma
n for me, and I had a feeling that we were going to have a very happy life together.
“You know I’m going to have to marry you soon, right?” He smiled as he grabbed me for a kiss. “I’ve never met anyone as perfect as you.”
“Do you know what? I don’t think being your wife would be the worst thing in the world,” I teased as I glanced over his shoulder to see what he had. “Now get that red thing out, I want to see what that does.”
Yep, this might not be a very traditional happy ever after, but I got the impression that it was going to be mine.
THE END
= Bonus Book 4 of 16 =
Brother Blues
Time seemed to pass so very slowly. Kathy sighed and tapped her fingers on the wooden table. The room was quiet, save for the dull whirl of the fan overhead. She could hear her mother in the kitchen, the soft murmur of voices and the clashing of pans. It was normal, it was ordinary and it was comfortable.
Well, it would be, if they were not waiting for someone to arrive. The waiting made Kathy anxious. She shifted in her seat, glanced at the clock and bit her lip. She was tired of waiting, but she still had over half an hour to go. Too long, far too long. She glanced at the door to the kitchen. Reassured that no one was about to pop in, she leaned on the table, a habit her mother had always hated.
The room was just as she remembered it being when she was a child. Cozy, warm and suburban, about twenty years out of fashion and very homey. It was the table that she had sat at for most of her life. Eating dinner and talking with her parents. It was the table that she had sat at for hours on end as she frantically tried to complete huge projects that just didn’t seem to want to be finished.
It brought back a slew of memories and it made Kathy smile, even now. She had had a good childhood, there was no doubt about it. Sedate and comfortable and safe. She had a similar life now, comfortable and ordinary, working a nine to five job, renting a little apartment and going through the motions. It was safe, it was comfortable, but now, there was an unknown factor coming into her world.
The last year or so had been a little bit of a whirlwind for Kathy in terms of her parents’ situation. She had never expected the happy couple to divorce, but the fact that the split was so amicable had made things a little easier. It was easy to see that they had been drifting apart for a while, and both just thought it best to go their separate ways now that Kathy was all grown up. She could not find it in her heart to hold it against them. It was their happiness, their lives, at stake. She had no right to complain.
When her mother, June, had decided to marry again, Kathy had been happy for her. She was a lovely woman and the man who she had met, Joe, seemed nice enough. He was a sedate man from the suburbs, just like her dad was. He worked a nice office job, was modest and kind and very ordinary. He had his pension all set up, had sensible goals for the future, like one holiday per year and a smaller home for his retired years. He was all the things that her mom seemed to want out of a man, and Kathy was left wondering why her mother hadn’t just stayed with her Dad, if she wasn’t looking for anything different.
The wedding had been a sweet affair, pretty and simple and intimate and Kathy had been thrilled to be a part of her mother’s special, special day. It made her heart soar to see her happy, even though she could not hope to math her mother’s joy.
The day was marred only by the fact that Joe’s son had not bothered to show up. Joe only had one son, a man around Kathy’s age. Alex. Joe did not talk about Alex much, but when he did, he spoke fondly of his childhood years. They seemed to get along well, at least, from the way Joe spoke about him. Yet he had not shown up to his own father’s wedding and that had left a bad taste in Kathy’s mouth.
Alex. She knew that he used to love machinery and cars when he was little. She knew that he was brilliant in math. She knew that he was about her age, and that he had taken things a little hard when his mother had passed away. But that was all. Any other details had been lost. And now, almost a year after the wedding, Kathy was going to meet him.
Alex apparently lived in the same town as Kathy, which was a bit of a drive from her parents’ home. Her mother had picked her up, and planned to drop her off again after dinner, seeing as Kathy didn’t see much of a point keeping a car in a city, where the public transport was pretty great. Alex didn’t seem to visit them much, but he happened to be in town today.
Kathy had a sneaky suspicion that Joe had really pushed for this, whether for Kathy’s sake, or for June’s, she wasn’t sure. There was a determined set to his jaw, even when he greeted her with a big smile. Joe was a nice guy, but all parents could get firm, Kathy supposed. So now, she was sitting at the kitchen table, while June and Joe were busy in the kitchen, preparing the meal and setting things up.
Kathy was left feeling nervous and unsure of what the rest of the day would bring. She had never met Alex, and she wasn’t all that fond of him, seeing as though he had missed such an important day, and not shown up since then.
She imagined him walking in, a big shot with a great job and no time for his family. Her blood boiled at the thought that his parents might have worked hard to put him through school and this was the thanks that his father was getting.
Still, Kathy took a deep breath and calmed herself as best she could. This was really important to her mom, and she was in no mood to spoil it for her. Her mother deserved happiness and Joe was a nice guy. She resolved to put aside her differences and be friendly.
Her mother bustled in only moments later, a smile on her face as she put down a few dishes and a roast chicken. It was Sunday, which was the day for having a roast, in June’s opinion.
“Want some help, mom?” Kathy smiled.
“No, no, no…you sit.” June smiled and went back to gathering more plates. Joe came out of the kitchen, hands full of glasses, balancing a pitcher of water and setting it all down. When June came out of the kitchen with the last plate, he smiled and rested a hand on her shoulder, “Thanks, June.”
She smiled, shaking her head, “You did just as much as me!”
Kathy smiled. The way they looked at each other warmed her heart. They were good for each other and it was nice to see Joe helping her mother out. She liked knowing that her mother was being looked after, especially since she lived the next town over.
Kathy was so lost in thought that when the doorbell rang, she almost jumped out of her skin. She gasped and rested a hand against her chest, blushing at her own shock.
Thankfully, no one seemed to notice. June jumped almost as much as Kathy did and Joe turned to the sound. There was a moment where no one moved. The air crackled with nervous energy and there was another moment of silence before June moved towards the door, “That must be Alex!” Her voice was chirpy and bright, but there was a worry beneath it that Kathy didn’t understand.
Her mother moved out of sight and so did Joe. Kathy pushed herself to her feet, not wanting to seem lazy, but not wanting to come across as too eager. She wanted to be friendly, not creepy.
“Alex, so good of you to make it!” Her mother’s voice was the picture of suburban hospitality, warm and polite.
“Yeah. Thanks.” A voice rumbled through into the kitchen, deep and low. Kathy’s eyes widened in surprise as the sound sent a shiver through her. She cursed herself and straightened up, hoping no one would notice.
“Kitchen’s just through here, son.” Joe was talking now, “You’ll want to meet Kathy.”
“Sure.”
When Alex walked through the door, Kathy thought that her heart was going to stop. Alex was absolutely nothing like she had expected. She had expected a slick man with an office job, sedate and safe, if a little bit arrogant. She expected a dispassionate man who didn’t care much about his family. She expected a younger version of her father or a man like all of the others she knew.
She had not expected this. He was tall, easily towering over his father. He had broad shoulders, wide set and strong and Kathy could tell that he worked out. Rea
lly worked out, not ran on the treadmill for ten minutes before calling it a day. He wore a black shirt and a leather jacket clung to his skin.
Dark eyes flashed as they met hers and his hair was dark and terribly cool. It wasn’t cut for an office job, it wasn’t ordinary. Nothing about him was ordinary. His boots his the floor with a thud as he walked into the kitchen.
Kathy was struck by how out of place he looked in her mother’s kitchen. This cozy, average little house where children had been raised just did not fit with Alex, wild and tall and crackling with a dangerous type of electricity that seemed to emanate from his skin and curl around everything in its path.
Kathy felt a flash of heat cross her cheeks and burn down her body until it found its place between her thighs. He was gorgeous. He was nothing like anyone she had ever met. He was her stepbrother and this was ridiculous.
Clearing her throat, Kathy was suddenly very conscious of her outfit, of the way her dress clung to her curves, revealed her cleavage and stopped just above the knee. It was definitely modest enough for family dinner. It was polite and it was decent, but she suddenly wondered if it was the right choice. Was it modest enough, flattering enough, sexy enough without being slutty?
Kathy felt terribly warm. Still, she smiled, “Hello. You must be Alex.” She moved from behind the table, offering her hand, “I’m Kathy. Lovely to meet you.”
Alex stared at her for a moment and it felt like his eyes were boring straight through her clothing, staring at her skin and stripping her bare. He raised an eyebrow and left her hand hanging there between them for what felt like an uncomfortably long time. Then he took it in his own, a smirk on his features.
The smile definitely did not reach his eyes as he brought her hand to his lips in a mockery of a kiss, “Charmed.” There was a teasing lilt to his voice that did not feel entirely friendly, did not feel entirely like he was being friendly at all.