“Yes,” I answered, as Ry put an arm around me and pulled me in to his side.
“Your father is stable,” he began, the news causing me to wilt with relief. “We had to pump his stomach and are monitoring him closely. He’s awake now but a bit disoriented,” he explained, before pausing as though searching for his next words. “Miss Owens, it does look like this was a suicide attempt,” he said regretfully.
The breath I didn’t realize I’d been holding whooshed from my body as I fought to remain standing.
Ry held me even tighter, and I was unbelievably grateful for his strength.
“He should be monitored closely for the next forty-eight hours. After that we should discuss your options.”
“Options?” I asked with a creased brow.
“There is a residential home nearby for people suffering from various mental illnesses, including depression. I think your father would benefit greatly from a program like that.”
I swallowed audibly. “Mental illness? He’s not crazy.” I shook my head.
“No, of course not,” the doctor responded patiently. “But he is deeply depressed. He has been for a long while now. I’m concerned that if we release him and he returns home without serious medical intervention, this could happen again. Next time he may not be so lucky.”
That weighed heavily on my chest as I fought for breath.
I wondered if my dad considered surviving lucky. I knew I had to consider what the doctor was saying. I’d figure out how the hell we’d pay for it later.
“Can I see him?” I asked.
The doctor nodded, gesturing to follow him.
“We’ll be right here,” Ry assured me, squeezing me briefly before letting me go.
I’d been surprised by his presence and yet now… now I couldn’t imagine doing this without him.
“Okay,” I murmured, following the doctor and Jill from the room and down the hall.
My father looked unbelievably frail as I stood at the foot of his hospital bed.
“Just a few minutes, okay? He should rest,” Jill said, squeezing my hand before leaving the room.
I nodded, moving to the side of his bed and taking his hand in mine. “Dad?” My voice sounded scared and small in the cavernous room.
His eyelids fluttered, moving lazily until his gaze reached me. “Piper,” he rasped.
“You’re okay. You’re in the hospital,” I told him.
“I’m not okay,” he replied, squeezing his eyes shut before opening them again.
My eyes filled with tears, as I tried hard to hold it together.
“I’m so sorry, Piper. I love you more than words can say. I just… I miss her more than I can bear,” he said, his halting speech breaking my heart.
“I know, Dad. We’re gonna get you some help,” I told him, squeezing his hand. I knew he loved me. Perhaps later I’d feel some sort of resentment that he’d chosen to leave me. For now, all I felt was a driving need for my father not only to live but to want to. “I’ll be back in the morning, okay?” I said, quickly wiping an escaping tear.
“Okay.” He nodded. “Love you, honey.”
“Love you too.” I spoke over the lump in my throat and practically dashed from the room.
A loud sob escaped as I looked right and then left, desperate for some privacy. I knew my friends had been nothing but supportive, but I couldn’t fall apart in front of them like this.
Jill appeared soundlessly at my side. “Come in here,” she coaxed quietly, and without another word led me into an empty hospital room. She took my hand, guiding me like a child across the room. She sat me on the bed, leaving the lights off as the door clicked shut behind her, allowing me the space to fall apart.
I’d never felt so grateful.
Chapter 8
I sat on the edge of the small hospital bed and allowed the huge body-shaking sobs to take over. I couldn’t seem to stop the onslaught even when my breathing became labored and my chest ached.
When the door edged open, I barely noticed until I was lifted up and cradled in strong, familiar arms.
Ry sat us in the chair in the corner with me curled into his lap, as he pulled me close against his warm body.
We sat like that for an immeasurable amount of time until my sobs faded into quiet hiccups, and my breathing slowed.
“Let me take you home,” he murmured in my ear, as his hands ran over my hair and down my back.
I nodded, my face still pressed to his neck.
“You gonna be okay on the bike?”
I nodded again, pulling away to wipe my eyes. I spotted some tissues on the counter behind us and grabbed them gratefully. My face had to be a complete wreck. I was fairly sure a good deal of snot had been expelled during my little breakdown.
We stood up and he took my hand, guiding me into the far too brightly lit hallway. I squinted at first, my eyes burning from all the tears, as he led us toward the exit.
I thought about my friends, who’d spent their night waiting with me. “Shouldn’t I say goodbye?” I protested, as the crisp night air cooled my overly heated skin.
“Nah, they took off. They get it,” he assured me, as we neared his bike.
“It was so kind of them to come,” I said quietly.
“They care about you.” He shrugged as he handed me a skullcap helmet. “I thought this would be easier with the scratches,” he explained.
“Thank you,” I murmured gratefully as he clipped it under my chin.
The bike’s motor roared and I hopped up behind him.
The cool air whipped over my face while the motor rumbled beneath me. I felt revived and alive. I held on to Ryker, pressing my body closer than I needed to, wanting to feel his warm body against mine.
It felt like mere moments before we were pulling up to my parents’ house. He didn’t get off the bike as I’d hoped he would. Instead his green eyes tracked my movements as I swung off and unclipped the helmet from under my chin.
I wanted him to tell me he was coming inside, that he wouldn’t take no for an answer. I wanted him to be bossy and to make decisions for me so I didn’t have to. But his gaze simply held mine, waiting.
“Would you…” I trailed off, clearing my throat, my voice hoarse from crying. “I mean, could you come inside with me for a while?” I asked, praying that he wouldn’t say no.
I couldn’t stand the thought of being without him.
I thought I saw relief flash in his eyes as he nodded, killing the engine. “Yeah, baby.” He nodded, taking my hand and leading us inside.
Baby. I squeezed my eyes shut, the endearment was music to my ears.
“I didn’t even think about how you’d feel being here—do you want to stay at my place?” he asked, sounding concerned, as we stepped into the dim foyer. “We can take the dogs,” he added, as they leapt around us, desperate to be loved and let out, in that order.
I shook my head, taking off my coat as he did the same. “It’s weird.” I swallowed, looking around the empty feeling space. “The house has been so depressing since Mom died, but I feel like I owe it to her to try to change that, somehow,” I muttered. “She loved this house.”
He stooped slightly, grasping my upper arms in his large hands. “Pipe, all she’d want is for you to be happy. And I know he can’t see past much these days, but it’s all your old man wants too,” he assured me.
I nodded, giving him a sad smile.
“Let’s get you to bed. It’s been a fuck of a night,” he muttered, at the base of the stairs.
That was for damn sure.
“I’ll take the dogs out, you head up,” he ordered in a gentle tone. I eagerly complied, grateful for the help.
At the top of the stairs I hesitated, staring at the open door to my parents’ room. After a moment of indecision, I went in and without hesitation stripped the bed. I opened the blinds, despite the fact that nothing but moonlight lit the room. Those blinds hadn’t been lifted since I’d been back and I figured the early morning sun
shine would do the room some good—even if no one was around to witness it.
By the time I entered my room, Ry was there. He’d flopped onto my bed with his hands clasped behind his head, the picture of ease. Even in my current state, I couldn’t help but admire the muscles in his arms and how amazing it was to have him sprawled on my bed.
“I’m going to take a shower,” I said quietly, grabbing my pajamas and darting from the room.
I wanted him with me, but lust and grief were a heady combination that I wasn’t yet prepared to deal with. I didn’t understand what was happening between us, and I was terrified he felt sorry for me and by tomorrow he’d be back to the cool demeanor I’d become accustomed to.
I stood under the hot water, trying to wash away the day. The loss of my mother had been so sudden, the cancer taking her a short time after her second diagnosis.
Losing my father so slowly before my very eyes was just as hard, if not more so in some ways.
My body quaked with emotion as I tried to stifle the sobs, which ricocheted off the tile walls.
I felt utterly lost, swallowed by grief and fear for the future. I stood under the spray for a long time, trying without success to pull myself together.
“Piper?” Ry’s voice sounded in the small space. “Baby, you okay?” he asked, the shower curtain blocking his view of me.
At the deep sound of his familiar voice, I knew with stunning clarity there was only one thing that could ease me.
Before I lost my nerve I pulled back the shower curtain. His eyes widened with shock as I stood in front of him, naked.
I watched him swallow hard as his gorgeous green eyes tracked over my body before meeting mine. “Babe, what are you doin’?” he croaked.
I licked my lips nervously, feeling my adrenaline spike as I stood exposed in front of his hungry gaze.
“Pipe, you are seriously fuckin’ testing my self-control,” he growled. “I don’t want to take advantage of you, and if you don’t cover up in about two seconds I’m going to do just that.”
“You’d never take advantage of me.” I shook my head.
“I don’t want you to regret…,” he groaned, his fists clenched at his sides.
“Ry, I could never regret being with you. Never.” I shook my head.
He threw his head back, staring up at the ceiling, seeming to search for willpower. I sincerely hoped he didn’t find it.
When his eyes snapped to mine, I only had a second to revel in the fact that he had indeed lost it, before he stepped into the shower fully clothed and his lips came crashing down on mine.
I moaned in relief, wrapping my arms around his neck as he pressed my back against the shower wall and took my mouth in a hungry kiss.
I’d dreamed about kissing Ryker again more times than I could possibly count, and yet those vivid fantasies came nowhere close to the real thing.
He broke contact only for the second it took to remove his soaked shirt, tossing it to the shower floor with a wet splat. His hands returned without delay, roaming my bare skin with relish before moving to my backside, squeezing firmly as his mouth took mine.
My fingers moved to his belt buckle, unclasping it with a clink as I rushed to get to his zipper. He groaned low and deep as my hand swept over his denim-covered erection.
The physical proof that he wanted me, badly, was one of the biggest thrills I’d ever known.
His jeans were soaked through and he had to help me get them off, along with his boxers. When I got my first look at naked Ryker, I was rendered speechless. He’d always had the most magnificent body I’d ever seen, but in the years since we’d been together, he’d become more gorgeous. His broad shoulders framed a muscular chest, leading to an incredibly cut six-pack, the muscles clenched as his breathing grew more ragged. My gaze dropped lower to the most impressive erection I’d ever seen.
I reached out, eager to explore what my eyes had devoured. I felt him suck in a breath as my hands splayed over his chest, feeling his heart pounding under my palms.
I noticed distractedly that the water was starting to turn cool as my lips and tongue traced his neck, feeling his big body shudder.
Before I knew it, he was reaching around me, turning the water off and lifting me up.
“Wha…?” I asked, confused, as he carried me back to my bedroom.
“The water was cold, baby. And I want you in a bed,” he told me, his mouth finding my neck. He dropped me gently on the bed, our wet bodies soaking the sheets.
Not that I gave a damn.
I nodded, speechless as his big body covered mine, his erection hot and insistent on my lower belly.
“I thought about your body more times than I can count,” he admitted, his eyes molten as they looked down on me. “You’re more beautiful than my memory could even conjure, babe. Christ.” He swallowed before his mouth moved down my body.
When his head moved between my thighs, his mouth feasting on me, I lost all rational thought. Ry had me on the brink of orgasm in under a minute. My legs began to shake as my fingers dove into his hair, my cry heralding my release.
“Ry, need you,” I gasped, as he moved back over me.
“Shit, one second,” he muttered, rising and stalking from the room. For a second I was confused, but then he returned with a condom.
He opened it, rolling it over his impressive length.
“Do you get that you’re mine?” he growled, poised at my entrance.
What? Suddenly he wanted to talk? Expected me to have some semblance of rational thought?
“Uh,” I stammered, wanting him so desperately it was all I could muster.
“Piper, we do this—you’re mine. I need you to understand that. This isn’t just a one-night fuck for me. And it sure as hell isn’t for you. You’re mine. Always have been.”
I looked up at him; the emotion in his eyes cleared away some of the lust fog I was in.
My eyes filled with tears as I stared up at the man I’d loved for as long as I could remember. “I missed you so much,” I croaked. “I want you so much. Take me,” I breathed, throwing my head back as he did just that. He was big; I felt so full as he eased his way inside me.
“You feel so good,” he groaned into my neck, as his muscles quivered with the force of holding back. “Okay?”
“Yeah.” I sighed, a feeling of rightness rocketing through my veins. I tilted my hips up, wrapping my legs around him, wanting him to take me hard.
He reared back and slammed into me, claiming me body and soul. The bed shook with the force of his thrusts. Our breathing grew ragged and tongues clashed in a passionate duel.
“Touch yourself,” he commanded, his breathing harsh as his thrusts grew harder and more erratic.
Ordinarily such an order would make me feel shy, but with Ryker it just felt right as my fingers dipped low, following his command.
“That’s so hot,” he groaned. “You close?”
“Yeah,” I panted. “Oh God, Ry,” I gasped, as my orgasm loomed.
“Oh fuck, fuuuuck,” he chanted, as he took my body with such fervor I thought absently that we might break the bed.
I let out a loud cry as my release tore through me. He soon followed, letting out a low groan that sounded like pure sex.
He collapsed on top of me as we both gasped for breath. I wrapped my arms and legs around him, loving the feeling of him on top of me and inside me.
We didn’t speak for a few moments, the only sound in the room our breathing, and I swear I could hear my own heartbeat, it was so loud.
I swallowed hard, overcome by the sheer magnitude of the moment.
He leaned up, peering down at me. “Why’re you cryin’?” he asked.
“I just… I didn’t think I’d ever feel you inside me again,” I managed hoarsely, feeling warm tears slide out the corners of my eyes and down to the pillow.
“I didn’t either. Thought about it,” he replied, nuzzling my neck. “Dreamed about it,” he added, his voice muffled against my
skin.
“Me, too.” I sighed as he pulled out, ditching the condom before rejoining me on the bed. He pulled me into his arms and we lay entwined, both seeming to embrace the moment.
My fingers traced over his chest and abs. “You’ve gotten some new muscles.” I grinned.
“You have some new curves,” he murmured, his fingers dancing over the dip in my waist and up my hip.
“This is new,” I commented on the huge tattoo spanning his chest. New was a relative term; it could have been a decade old. Huge wings lay open across his chest, shaded in black, grey, and a hint of red. “It’s beautiful,” I murmured. “Turn over,” I ordered.
He chuckled at my tone, but obliged. When my gaze fell to the three words written across his ribcage, all the other tattoos on his skin blurred as my breath caught.
Never Grow Up
The three little words from Peter Pan were larger than life against his skin. “When did you… Why did you…?” I stammered my fingers trailing along his side.
He gazed at me, his eyes moving over my face. “A couple of years ago.”
I felt my brow crease. “But you wouldn’t even speak to me. I thought you hated me. Why did you get a tattoo that had to remind you of me? I mean it did, right?” I added hastily, blushing.
He smiled tenderly, his fingers running through my hair. “Wanted to keep what we had with me.” He shrugged, looking slightly uncomfortable with his admission. “Wanted to keep you with me,” he added quietly.
Tears still tracked my skin as I bit my lip, nodding that I understood, because I’d felt the same way, every day.
“I never hated you, Tink,” he said quietly, before a playful glimmer entered his eye. “Now—my turn,” he continued, his brow cocked playfully.
I lay dutifully on my back as his eyes traced my skin. I’d never been self-conscious, but having him so focused on my naked body made me blush.
“Shy, babe?” he asked curiously, his eyes caught on my breasts, heating all the more as I squirmed under his perusal.
I didn’t answer as his large hand cupped my hip before continuing a path down my thigh. “Your body is so perfect,” he murmured. “Flip over.”
I did as he asked, my heart pounding as his hand moved over my backside, squeezing firmly.
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