I shrugged. “I don’t know exactly. I know it’s different for you. Well, a different sort of awful,” I amended. “You never felt like you knew your mom. But I knew my dad.”
His eyes softened as he sat across from me, his expression coaxing me to continue.
“I knew what he was like when my mom was alive, when he could love her.” I swallowed, feeling the familiar clog of emotion build in my throat. “I can’t ever fill that void. I would never try,” I continued thickly. “I love how much he loved her—it drives the hope in me on so many levels. It’s the stuff that any great love story should be built on.” I smiled through unshed tears, grasping the warm coffee between my hands like a lifeline. “But that was the father I knew my entire life. He loved my mother without question, with everything he was. Without her, he doesn’t know who he is.” I shook my head sadly. “It’s as though being in the same room together just reminds us what we’ve lost all the more, and I don’t know how to get past that.”
His hand reached across the table and squeezed mine reassuringly. “Time and practice, Tink,” Ry murmured.
I sat up straighter in my chair, determined to conquer this next obstacle. “Right,” I agreed, offering him a hesitant smile. “Time and practice.”
*****
“Hi, bunny,” my dad greeted me later that morning when I met him in the cafeteria.
He looked remarkably better than the last time I’d seen him. His color was back and the desolation wasn’t as present in his eyes.
“Hi, Dad.” I smiled, moving into his arms when he stood to hug me.
As promised, Ry had driven me over and was now waiting in the reception area.
“You look good,” I said sincerely as I took a seat across from him.
“I feel good. Well, better,” he amended.
“Are they treating you okay in here?”
He nodded. “This place has been a complete blessing. I don’t know where I’d be without it.”
I sighed with relief, and not for the first time, wondered who had been so generous in providing his stay here. I could have never afforded it and it essentially saved his life.
“I want to talk to you about something,” he began, and his cautious tone made me sit up a bit straighter.
“Okay.”
“I am doing better, Piper, but I don’t think I’ll ever be okay in the house, and at least for now, this town. I need a fresh start.” He looked imploringly at me as I fought to control my reaction. “I know I haven’t been here for you like I should have been. It haunts me that you’ve done so much of this alone, but I can’t stay.” He shook his head sadly.
I fought hopelessly against the tears forming. “I know,” I managed hoarsely. “I understand.”
And I did.
“I want you to have the house—if you want it,” he hastened to add. “It’s paid for. It would mean the world to me to know that you could make a life there. Your mother and I had so many happy years there—the happiest of my life.”
The tears spilled over as I regarded him in shock. “The house?” I whispered incredulously.
“Only if you want it,” he said again, reaching across the table and clasping my hand briefly. “You could make it your own. You should make it your own. Give it new life.” He smiled and I saw a bit of light in his eyes for the first time in as long as I could remember.
It took me a minute before I could reply. “I think I can do that,” I rasped, still in shock.
“I know you can.” He nodded, sitting back and seeming relieved.
“Where will you go?”
“San Diego, to stay with Aunt Caroline,” he replied. “At least for now. I always wanted to live near the beach. She’s been nagging me to get back there for years, so she finally gets her wish.” He chuckled.
“She always was a bit of a nag.” I laughed, relieved that the mood was lightening some.
“How are things going with Ryker?” he asked with a knowing smile.
“Really good,” I told him. “He’s been my rock.”
I watched my dad’s eyes shine with emotion. “Good.”
“He’s been um, staying at the house a lot,” I added, unsure why I’d felt the need to share that.
He put me at ease with a warm, knowing smile. “I’m not surprised to hear that. I’m glad you haven’t been alone,” he replied, his eyes warm on mine.
I nodded, glad that he was supportive of Ry and me.
I stayed for a while longer, telling him about Sam’s show and any amusing anecdotes I could think of from my time at the day care. I steered clear of talking about the boutique, feeling like that would be too hard for him to hear about.
“I’ll see you before you go?” I verified, when we rose and he pulled me into another hug.
“Of course.” He nodded. “I still have a few more weeks.” He paused before continuing. “It’s wonderful to see you, sweetie. You’ve always been such a strong, smart girl. Your mom would be so proud.”
That just about gutted me, but I managed a hoarse, “Thanks.”
Ryker didn’t push for answers when I silently accepted his embrace after I returned to the reception area. He just offered his support and led me out to his bike.
He tilted his head in question as he regarded me, and not for the first time, seemed to read my mind. “Want to take the long way?”
When we returned to the house he surprised me by staying on the bike. “Babe, I fucking hate to do this, but I gotta get to the club for a little while.”
I was partially relieved; I could use the time to pull myself together. “I understand,” I assured him, leaning in for a kiss and standing at the curb watching him ride off.
The house felt different somehow when I walked through the front door. All this time I’d felt like I was crashing at my parents’ house, but now it was mine. The thought still boggled my mind. I surprised myself by heading straight up the stairs and into my parents’ bedroom. I’d washed the sheets and aired the room out and it no longer felt like a depressing cave.
Despite all that, I swore I could still smell my mother’s perfume.
I lay down on the top of the bedspread, staring up at the ceiling. The dogs were quiet, seeming to sense my mood. They’d followed quietly behind me and had taken up residence on the floor by the side of the bed.
I stared up at the ceiling, lost in thought, and without meaning to, fell asleep.
“Pipe?” Ryker’s voice came to me through a dream. I felt his large hand sweep over my brow as I fought the fog of sleep. “What’re you doin’ in here, babe?” he asked gently.
“Come lay down with me,” I murmured sleepily.
He didn’t hesitate, moving to lie on his side beside me and pulling me into his arms. We lay in silence for a while as I gathered my thoughts.
“He’s leaving,” I said finally, the air whooshing from my lungs along with the pronouncement.
“Oh, babe,” he muttered, his lips against my temple. “I’m sorry.”
“Me too, but I get it,” I replied quietly. “I want him to be happy and I understand why he can’t do that here. He’s going to live down south with my aunt Caroline for a while.” I paused to take a deep breath. “He wants me to have the house.”
I felt his body stiffen in surprise. “Whoa.”
“Yeah,” I agreed.
“How do you feel about that?”
I wanted to say that I’d be okay with it as long as he lived with me, as long as it could be ours. But we’d only been back together for a short time, and I was a weepy mess. I didn’t want him to feel like he couldn’t say no.
“Honestly? I’m not sure,” I said instead, which was also true. “I’m still getting used to the idea. I’m not sure I could make it feel like mine and it’s a big freaking house.”
“For one person, yeah,” he muttered, surprising me by sounding frustrated.
Then realization dawned.
I sat up, looking down at him inquiringly, wondering if my instincts were ri
ght as to why his mood had soured.
“But not for two?” I ventured carefully.
He looked up at me, his eyes blazing with intensity. “Not for two,” he agreed.
I felt my heart hammer in my chest as I went out on a very fragile-feeling limb. “I want it to be ours, not mine,” I whispered, my heart blazing with hope. “But I know it’s quick,” I rushed to add. “If it’s too soon or you don’t want to…”
He grinned up at me, his eyes shining. “Babe.” He chuckled.
“What?” I exclaimed, throwing my hands up.
He pulled me back down into his arms, rolling us so we lay on our sides facing each other. “I want to.”
I grinned. “You do?”
“I do,” he confirmed on a laugh, and I squealed, throwing myself at him.
“I’m so glad,” I breathed, my voice muffled as I buried my face in his neck.
“I can tell,” he teased, squeezing me more tightly.
I lifted my head to stare down at him. “And you are….?” I prompted with a raised brow.
He shrugged casually, as if he didn’t have a care in the world, all while biting back a smile.
I jabbed him in the side.
“Babe.” He grinned, and his shining eyes told me everything I needed to know. He was happy, really happy.
I lay back down against him, my nose buried in his neck. “Do you really think we can do it?” I ventured, laying out the fear that I hadn’t let go of since my dad had delivered his news.
“Do what?” he asked quietly, his hands stroking up and down my back.
“Make this place ours.” I sighed worriedly. “I grew up here, there are memories everywhere.”
“Yeah, really fucking good ones,” he responded without delay. “Memories aren’t a bad thing, baby. You had a beautiful childhood here. I can only hope our kids will have the same.”
“Our kids,” I breathed, shocked that he’d make such a proclamation.
“Yeah, when we have them.” He shrugged.
“When we have them?” I exclaimed, sitting up suddenly. “Ry, we’ve never even talked about it,” I protested.
He looked up at me, clasping his hands behind his head, the picture of ease. “Okay, one thing at a time,” he allowed, when he saw my expression.
“Uh yeah, that’d be good,” I sputtered.
He reached out, running his fingers down my arm before grasping my hand and squeezing. “Pipe, I love that this house has so many memories. They’re some of the only happy ones I have from being a kid. That first night you snuck me in and we stayed up for hours jabbering about whatever the hell eight-year-olds talk about.” He smiled fondly before continuing. “All the nights your parents took me in and fed me. Your mother would sit with me for hours helping me with my homework.”
“I remember,” I murmured hoarsely.
“Most of all I remember falling for you. You became my world under this roof.”
Tears clouded my vision as I nodded, unable to speak.
“So you see, babe, the memories, they’re not just yours but mine too. I want to keep them.”
“Okay,” I agreed readily.
“That’s not to say we won’t make changes—I’m fucking itchin’ to knock some walls down,” he shared with a wink. “Paint, get some new furniture, but I’m not worried about it being ours. In a way, it always has been.”
He was so right.
“I love you.” I sighed, lying back down with him and wrapping my arms around him.
He kissed my head. “I love you too, baby. Plus now we can christen this place properly.” He grinned.
“What do you mean?” I asked, confused.
He vaulted up off the bed with a playful growl and scooped me up, throwing me over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. “What I mean is I’m going to take you on every surface in this house,” he rasped, making my entire body shiver. “We’ll start with the kitchen.”
“We already hit the garage.” I giggled, remembering that amazing afternoon when we’d put his bike stand to a serious test.
“Consider it marked for a revisit,” he replied dryly as we hit the stairs, headed for hours of new discovery on granite surfaces.
*****
“I was surprised how… lifeless your apartment is,” I admitted as we sat scantily clad on the kitchen floor, sharing a bowl of grapes after a round of what could only be called adventurous sex on the kitchen counter.
There’d have been a pint of ice cream between us if we had any.
He shrugged, popping a grape in his mouth, the movement insanely sensual as I watched his mouth move. “Didn’t care enough to make it more.”
I watched him intently, spellbound by everything that was pure Ryker before I felt coherent enough to form my next thought.
“Even at your mom’s place I remember you always had it decorated with posters and pictures—it always had some of you. That apartment didn’t at all,” I pressed as we sat shoulder to shoulder against the cabinets.
He turned his head to face me, his intelligent gaze zeroing in on mine. “Why does it matter?”
I reached a hand out, stroking my finger across his full bottom lip. “Everything about you matters to me,” I murmured, forcing myself to meet his scorching gaze. If we hadn’t just had sex all over the kitchen, I’d swear it’d been years for both of us, the atmosphere was that thick with sexual tension.
He sighed, turning his head to face forward as he scrubbed a hand over the scruff marking his chin. “I was so young, Tink. The only identity I had was as a scrawny kid whose dad had beat the shit out of him and his mother. I didn’t do shit to stop him. I couldn’t.”
I winced, glad he couldn’t tell as he continued to stare off into space.
“The four walls of my bedroom were the only control I had in the world and I barely had that.” He snorted. “But I made them mine—I made them matter.” His voice was determined, his fists clenched, and I knew he was reliving the hell of living underneath that roof.
I reached out and placed a hand on his forearm, needing to touch him. “I get that,” I murmured.
His head turned to face me again and I couldn’t believe I was lucky enough to have his beautiful gaze sweep my face in such a worship-filled glance. “After that, well, I didn’t need to make a random place mine, baby. But I do now,” he rumbled, his voice full of promise. “Any house with you in it would be a place I want to mark as mine, but this place especially—baby, we’ll create dreams here, I feel it in my bones.”
I swallowed hard, nodding, unable to speak. “When do you want to move in?” I managed after a time.
He looked over at me with a lopsided grin, his eyes twinkling with playful joy. “That depends on when you want those dreams to begin, babe.”
There it was, he was leaving it to me. It wasn’t a hard decision.
Not at all.
He moved in the next day.
It only took him and Axel two trips to move everything in. Blue was taking over his lease.
The girls had gotten wind that it was moving day and had come over, bearing beer and pizza.
“Well that was anticlimactic,” I teased, once the last box had been moved in.
Ry’s brows lifted and I saw a look of mischief cross his face. “Bored, baby?” he challenged.
I backed up warily, sensing I should retreat and quickly.
He lunged for me, threw me up over his shoulder, and stalked through the living room and out the front door.
“What are you doing?” I shrieked.
He drew me back over his shoulder, so that I was cradled in his arms, bridal style. He looked down at me with a wink. “Making it official,” he announced, carrying me over the threshold as our friends whooped and whistled.
“You’re supposed to do this if we get married.” I laughed.
“So I’ll do it then too.” He shrugged, setting me down and kissing me soundly.
I blushed. One thing was for sure, life with Ryker would never be boring.
Chapter 13
“Unkie Ry, Unkie Ry,” I heard being chanted when I made my way downstairs the next day. I’d put Maddox down for a nap and Gracie was busy toddling around downstairs with her “unkie.”
The preggos, as the rest of the club affectionately called Scarlet and Sophie, had seemed desperate for a night off. Ry and I had volunteered to babysit, so they could have an evening with their men. It wasn’t the first time. Ry still frequently picked up Mason from day care and we kept him for a few hours until Jill could get off work. We hadn’t watched Wren yet, but I wouldn’t be surprised when that day came. We had a pack ’n’ play ready to rock upstairs, and the dogs had quickly become accustomed to the chaos any human under two brought into the household.
Ryker was fantastic with kids. He was playful and silly, but also completely hands-on. Watching him made my clock start ticking—a little bit, anyway.
When I walked into the living room, I had to stifle a laugh. Gracie was clad in her standard pink tutu and was sitting on Ry’s back, trying to ride him like a pony.
“Having fun?” I asked with a raised brow, as Ry and Gracie both turned to face me.
“Yep.” Ry grinned, turning back to blow a raspberry on Gracie’s leg, making her squeal in delight. “He down?” he asked after Maddox.
I nodded, lying on my belly next to Ry, becoming the next pony in line for a ride.
“You want to have one of these with me?” he asked, tilting his head back to Grace.
The subject of kids had been coming up a lot recently, but the more I thought about it, the less scary the prospect became. “Yeah, someday. Not today,” I added sternly.
He chuckled. “I have other plans today anyway.”
I quirked a brow. “Oh? And what would those plans be?”
“Well,” he mused, “since these kids aren’t ours, they’ll eventually go home and then I plan to get you naked—immediately.”
“That sounds like a good plan,” I agreed, wholeheartedly.
*****
After working at the store the next morning, Ry dropped me at Axel and Sophie’s place. He and Axel had a club errand to run, and I figured I could keep Sophie company and help out with Mad if she needed it.
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