by Piper Frost
My stomach drops and my body freezes in place momentarily.
"Will!" I scream, yanking him out of three boys' arms while they seem to hold him back from something. "Will, what the hell?"
"Bo!" He wails, unable to support himself and he falls to the ground.
His friends scramble, screaming about Bo and the bull and it's so loud I can't focus on anything but my heart beating in my ears. That's when I stand from Will’s side. When my eyes find Bo, full-blown panic sets in as I watch his body being flung into the air.
"No." My heart almost explodes from the sight in front of me. "Bo!" The wail that comes out of me isn't natural, and it hurts, but what hurts more is seeing him hit the dirt and lay still on the ground. It's not a play dead tactic either and my stomach wretches but I dart toward the pen door and scream as I tear it open, pinning Bo's lifeless body between the fence and the door. As if the bull's content with what he's accomplished, he saunters into his pen and with another shriek of agony, I shove it closed, locking him in. "Call for help!" I scream as I jump over the fence to get to Bo. "Bo, baby. Oh my god." I cry, landing on my knees next to him. "Bo!" I pat his cheeks, leaning down to try and hear him breathing. His breaths are quiet, raspy, and barely there. There's blood covering his face, and one of his legs is bent backwards so unnaturally it makes bile rise to my throat. "Fuck," I whimper before I lose it. I completely lose my shit, because the man I love is lying here on the ground dying and I can't do anything for him. My shaking hands come to his face and I press my lips to his. "Help's coming, Bo. Stay with us," I whimper, then rest my head on his shoulder to cry.
This may be the last time I ever get to hold him.
Will's friends are all screaming and trying to get me off him, but the love of my life is dying, possibly taking his last breaths, beaten from a goddamned bull for God knows what reason. Why the hell was he in here with it? I'm not going anywhere.
When it's not sirens I hear, but Brandt Kenshaw, I look at Will like he's lost his damn mind.
"Brandt will be faster," Will pants at me, gray in color like he's fighting consciousness.
It's true. It would take an ambulance at least forty minutes longer to arrive.
I hold Bo tighter because if Brandt takes him away and Bo doesn't come back, I'm not sure I'll be able to make it. Brandt has to physically remove me from Bo and the boys hold me back so Brandt can get him to his truck. My chest aches as I watch Brandt check his pulse. Everything around me is a blur, nothing's making sense right now as I watch Brandt work meticulously not to twist Bo in a way that'll cause more damage. By now Wendy's flanked her brother, not leaving his side, and I can barely see through the tears in my eyes. The other boys in the group are all watching in horror as Brandt slams the door to his truck and the noise makes me jump.
"Wait!" I wail, shaking as the sky opens up and the rain starts to pour on us. "Where are you taking him?!"
"St. Andrews. Call the hospital right now and tell them I'm bringing Bo in. He'll need a helicopter transport to the city. You coming with? Because we gotta go. Now."
"I think Will broke his ankle," I blurt and Brandt lets out an annoyed laugh.
"Bo's life is on the line. Get Will to St. Andrews, Kinlee. I don't have time for this." He hops into his truck and kicks up dirt and rocks hauling ass out of here.
I stand in horror as he speeds down the driveway and out of sight. The rain's soaking us and when Wendy's arms wrap around me, her tears blend with my already drenched shirt. My breath is coming in spurts, I can't blink away the tears fast enough, and the only energy I have right now is to stand here, holding up my own body weight. My hands are clammy and shaking and no matter what I do, I can't focus on anything.
"We gotta get your brother to the hospital." I'm shaking, my anxiety is through the roof, but I still have Will to take care of. I'm so scared, but I have to push through this.
Shit, if Bo never fucking got that bull...
"Yeah, okay. Yes. Um...I'll go get the keys." Wendy takes off for the house and I stand in the driveway, watching the bull eat inside his pen like he didn't just ruin our lives.
Growling, I head over to it and throw a rock at it but miss by a mile. "I hate you! Fuck you, you fucking bastard!" I scream, shaking the fence and taunting it, but it's more interested in its feed than it is me. "Fuck you!" I belt, crying until hands wrap around me and pull me away from the fence.
"We gotta go, Kinlee." Wendy's calm demeanor reminds me of how well I used to handle stressful situations before Bo came into my life. Now I'm just a fucking loon taunting a motherfucking bull.
I shove her off me and head for the car. Will's already in the front seat with an ice pack on his ankle, his eyes squeezed tight and his head thrown back on the head rest. I don't know when or how he got in here, and I know I should feel bad for not being a better sister and caretaker to him right now, but my mind's on losing the only man I've ever loved.
"Ryan, call your parents and don't any of you leave the house until they arrive to pick you up," I demand and all four boys run inside.
Wendy starts the car and honks, sitting in the driver seat. I don't fight it, though she's only got a permit. I can't drive in this state. I'm trying to calm myself down, I really am, but that was the most horrific thing I've ever seen. When my parents died, we weren't there. We didn't see a dead, or almost dead body. Holding Bo's limp body is something I'll never get out of my head.
I take my phone out and send a text to Ryan's parents first, then Chase, the one person other than Bo that I've ever been this vulnerable with. He was my rock.
Kin: Bo's being rushed to St. Andrews. Bull attack. It doesn't look good.
The minute the text goes through, my phone rings.
"Hey," I whisper, staring at the pouring rain as Wendy speeds to the hospital.
"What happened? What can I do?" Chase's voice is frantic and I squeeze my eyes closed.
"I can't... I don't know," I whisper. "I walked into it. It was so bad, Chase." I whimper and try to stop the tears but they come again. "They're going to have to airlift him, it's that bad. Will's ankle is broken. I can't...I can't do this, Chase."
"You've been through ten times worse, and so has Bo. Everything's gonna be okay because it has to be." He pauses and I let the line go silent because I can't focus on conversation right now. "You want me up there?"
"No."
"Alright. Will you keep me updated, at least?"
"Yeah, absolutely," I mumble, ending the call and staring out the window.
I keep flashing back to the day that Bo got that damn bull. It never should've been in that barn. I keep telling myself that, over and over, and I keep telling myself it's not Bo's fault, whatever happened today...but I don't know what happened.
I clear my throat, rubbing my hands down my face and realize I'm still covered in dirt and blood.
Bo's blood.
"Will," I finally manage, staring at the droplets hitting the window and trailing an unpredictable path downward, just like Bo's body before he hit the ground. "Tell me everything." My throat burns, my heart's slamming in my chest, and I know I can't take this story right now but I need it. I need to know what happened. I watch Wendy's hand move to rest on Will's shoulder and sigh. "Will, please."
"I didn't mean for it to happen, Kinlee." He starts to cry. "I was just gonna let it out into the corral. The guys were all making fun of me, callin' me a pussy for livin' here and never goin' by it. So I stayed on the fence, away from it, and I pulled the pen gate open."
I groan, throwing my head back. "Bo wasn't there with you?" My chest hurts. My hands are shaking. My shirt's soaked. My head is throbbing. And I just want Bo. I feel so empty.
"No," he whispers. "He told us to play by the woods. When they started—" He cuts himself off and hisses, grabbing his leg in pain. "Shit," he whimpers. Taking a few deep breaths, he bows his head. "When I fell off the fence, I landed wrong on my ankle. Bo saw it happen, ran in to try to distract the bull from gettin' me. He saved
my life, Kinlee." Will pushes his head into his hands and I realize I'm still crying, only harder now.
"I'm happy you're going to be okay, Will. I am. I'm happy that wasn't you on the ground, but you gotta know how stupid even going near that bull is." I sniffle. "Wendy, do you know where you're going?"
"I've got GPS up. I got this, Kinlee." She glances back at me and I realize how much these kids have had to grow up over the past few years and it makes me realize they aren't kids at all any more. They're young adults. Stupid ones, at times, but they're much more than kids.
I close my eyes, trying to calm my heart, but it's no use. Every time I close my eyes, I see him on the ground then everything starts over again.
As we get closer to the hospital, my phone rings.
"Hello?" I answer, knowing it's Brandt.
"He's being transported to Mercy. In the city. I'm heading there now. I'll probably beat the helicopter. How's Will? In too much pain to just take him to the city?"
I look into the front seat at Will who's got his head turned to stare out the window, but he's not making any noises.
"No. I'll meet you at Mercy," I whisper then wince, my hands start shaking and the knot in my throat feels like it's going to burst.
"How the hell did this happen?" Brandt demands.
"The bull. The bull got him, and Will…and I don't know if he's going to live," I whimper.
"Where are you? How close to the city are you?" He growls.
"Forty minutes." I sniffle, swiping at my cheeks. "Wendy, head to the city. Mercy."
"Got it." She gives a confirming nod.
"We'll be there as soon as we can," I tell Brandt before disconnecting.
I dip my head to my knees. My breathing's coming in short spurts and as we finally make it to the hospital after a ride I never thought would end, I rush in to the emergency room.
The nurses are helpful. They get Will admitted and in for an x-ray right away. Wendy goes with him but I need to find out about Bo.
"Has Bo Hart gotten here yet? He was airlifted. I'm his girlfriend. A bull... Please just let me know he's okay." My eyes keep darting around the room, trying to find a sign of him and I'm sure I look a sight. The nurse looks at me sadly then glances at my clothes and when her eyes hit mine I whimper. "Don't look at me like that," I whisper. "I know that look. Please don't look at me like that.” My hands tremble. That's the look I got when the cops came to the house to tell us about our parents.
She shakes her head, getting to her feet. "Come on, sweetheart. Let me grab you some coffee."
"I don't want coffee!" I slam my hand to the counter and she pauses, watching me carefully. "I just want to know he's okay."
"I shouldn't be talking to you about this," she mumbles and glances at me.
"He's my life!" I proclaim, feeling the misery start to build again.
"Just settle yourself a little. Sweetheart, I can check the status…but it doesn't look good." She shakes her head and reaches to the counter, taking my hand in hers. "He's in surgery. I won't have any update for you until he's out. I'm so sorry."
I take a shallow breath, swiping at my face and trying to toughen up. I can do this. I can make it through this.
I have to.
I take a seat and stare at the doors that lead toward the operating rooms, watching a buzz of activity happening behind them, not even knowing if Brandt made it, or if the kids are okay, or where Bo is and what's going on with him.
When Jo arrives at the hospital, Brandt's at her side. I haven't been able to stop crying. I've tried, but nothing will stop the tears. It's like, the minute I calm down, I feel guilty for calming down then I remember why I'm here and it starts all over again. My head's pounding, there's blood on my hands and shirt still, and every time I blink, flashes of the scene invade my head. A nurse came to update me about Will thirty minutes ago and suggested I clean up, but I can’t go anywhere until I hear something about Bo.
Jo rushes over and wraps her arms around me tight. "God, Kinlee. Are you okay?"
"I'm okay," I manage through a thick throat. "Bo was just tryin' to save Will." My voice is weak and I don't even want to think about what'll happen if he doesn't come out of surgery. The one time he's not pulling a dumbass stunt and just trying to save my brother is when he's ripped away from me. Why does life even work like that? How the fuck is that fair? "I just got the news that Will's ankle is broken in two spots," I mutter, trying to dry my face.
"Where's Bo now?" She grabs my hands and looks at the blood.
"Surgery," I say. There's so many emotions rolling through me, but I can't seem to get any of them out. I feel like nothing and everything at the same time. "Haven't seen him since Brandt took him." I look up at Brandt whose worried gaze is on the doors. "And I haven't heard anything about his condition."
"Where are the twins?" She glances around.
"Will's room. They admitted him to make sure his ankle doesn't need surgery too. I should probably be back there with them..." I glance at the double doors again. "How can I be two places at once?" I whisper. "Am I a bad sister that I'm not back there with Will right now?" I stand and twist my hands together. "I just don't want them to not know where I am when Bo gets out of surgery. I don't want to miss it."
"You're not. We're going to go to Will's room." Jo takes my hand. "And Brandt's going to find out some answers and also tell them where to find you when they have news. You don't have to sit out here alone." Her arm wraps over my shoulder and she looks at Brandt.
"I'll take care of it. You two head back to the room. I'll be in shortly." Brandt walks off toward the nurse's station and it feels like Jo forces me to Will's room.
When we enter, Will's on the bed with his foot propped and Wendy's right there next to him. As much as they bicker and get on each other's nerves, they love each other more than any other siblings I've ever seen. Wendy's just as freaked out about all this as Will is, if not more, so seeing them getting along and being there for each other is nice.
"Heard anything yet?" Wendy asks, glancing over at us as we walk into the room. I shake my head and move for the chair, collapsing in it and staring down at my hands.
"Nothing," I whisper. My eyes move to Will who's staring at the wall. "What were you thinking, Will?" I whisper, still not fully comprehending what he thought he would get out of it. He's not a thrill seeker. And he's really turned around since Bo came into our lives. It's not like him to defy Bo.
He swallows hard and shakes his head. "Wasn't."
I choke down my anger, because the hospital isn't a place to berate a sixteen year old for being a dumbass.
"You could've been killed."
Jo takes my hand and gives me a look like I need to drop it, but the man I love is in surgery and I don't know if he's going to make it out, and my teen brother has a broken ankle, all because said brother had to show off for his stupid friends!
"I'm sorry," Will whispers, his eyes not leaving the wall and I snap.
"You're sorry?" I bark. "Will, Bo may not make it out of surgery and the only words you can tell me are you're sorry?" I stand, ready to give him more of my mind when Jo moves to stand directly in front of me, her hands on my shoulders.
"Kinlee," she says, staring me in the eyes. "He's a kid. Don't make it worse on him," she whispers and carefully walks me back to my chair. "Everyone's tired and I think we've got some time before Bo's out of surgery. Why don't you close your eyes?"
I fall back to the seat and my eyes hit Will's wrapped leg. After a surgeon takes a look at his x-ray, if he doesn't need surgery, it'll be put in a cast. Shaking my head, I feel the burn of the tears before they roll down my cheeks.
"Will," I manage through the tears. "I'm so sorry." I push past Jo and move toward him, wrapping my arms around his shaking body.
The person I'm supposed to be raising right and taking care of doesn't need me to make him feel any guiltier than he already does. I'm the one person in the world right now that he needs. He wraps his arms around
me and I hold him. We've lost so much already. We can't lose each other.
"I think maybe Jo's right. You two should try to rest your eyes." I clear my throat and walk over to the light switches, flicking them off.
There's no way I'm sleeping until I know Bo's going to be okay. It only takes ten minutes for both kids to pass out, and after they do, it's just Jo and I in the silent hospital room. I take a breath, and steel myself for the words I know I need to say. To someone...anyone. I don't even truly know how I feel about them, but I need to say them.
"I don't think I can keep doing this with Bo," I whisper, so I don’t wake up the kids. My eyes are glued to Will's leg and my thoughts keep traveling back to the barn. To a few weeks ago and the broken finger and the nose stitches. To the house burning down and Bo wrenching his back more times than he'll ever admit. All those times with him when the injuries could've just as easily been one of the twins... I don't want to admit it, but I don't think it's a good idea staying the way we are.
"What's that?" Jo whispers, glancing toward the kids.
"We're not going to work." I choke the words out, swallowing back tears that threaten again. "Living there...being with him. Look what it does to us."
Her eyes land on the twins again. "I...whoa," she mumbles. "Seriously? You're blaming Bo for Will breaking his ankle?"
I huff, squeezing my eyes closed. "No. Not really. I know Will's old enough to know what's right and wrong...but Bo never should've bought that damn bull. He never should've introduced these kids to the lifestyle he chooses. All the excitement, danger, and not a care in the world. We were doing just fine before he came along." The words sting coming out. They more than sting. They open a bottomless pit of pain that I'll probably never crawl out of because I know it's not true. I love Bo. I love Bo more than I ever wanted to, but I have to look out for these kids in front of me. That's my number one worry.
Jo stands and wipes her palms over her jeans. "You were doing just fine?" She quietly snickers. "Bo's a loose cannon, sure, but I think you guys are much better off with him." Raising her hands she looks away while saying, "I get it if you're not into him or something. He's a lot to handle, but just...don't break the kids' hearts. They love him. Maybe you two are better off just friends."