by Q. B. Tyler
“Why are you telling me this?” I ask her.
“Because… I think I might want to have sex with Kennedy.”
“Okay, and you need me to get you condoms? You’re not sixteen, Ava. You can buy them at a drugstore. And I am not going with you to get birth control. Call your mother.”
“No, asshole.” She hits my shoulder. “I want… to not be a virgin before Kennedy. I don’t want him to think I’m bad in bed.”
“Okay? Well, find another guy in your class, I guess?”
“And have it get back to Kennedy?”
“Ava, I don’t know what to tell you; I’m not taking you to a bar to help you find someone to take home. My duties of looking after you do not extend to getting you laid.”
“Well, that wasn’t exactly what I was asking….,” she trails off. “I don’t want to have sex with some random guy; that’s how you get killed! I’m not interested in being the inspiration for some Lifetime movie, Jackson.”
“Well, that’s good. I don’t want you out there having one-night stands. That’s not for you.”
“I agree. I want someone … I trust.”
I nod.
“And who knows what they’re doing.”
I nod again. “Both important.”
“Someone who will show me the ropes. A… sexual tutor of sorts.”
“Well, go find a human sexuality major at NYU.”
I look over at her, and her bottom lip has popped out slightly as she stares at me with her infamous puppy dog eyes, and in that moment, I know what she’s asking.
What the fuck?
She wants ME to take her virginity? That can’t be what she’s asking?
No way.
“Absolutely fucking not, Ava.” I can’t ignore the stirring in my pants at the thought, but I will it back down. There was no way I was sleeping with T’s sister.
“WHY!?” she whines.
“Because you’re— and… I… Ava, no.” My mind is scattered, and I would attribute it to all of the alcohol we’ve consumed, but since Ava’s proposition I’ve felt myself sobering up by the second.
“But…” She bites her bottom lip, and I have to look away. She’s a little seductress, and she doesn’t even know it. “I’m nervous. And I’ve waited this long already. If I sleep with someone now, they’ll think I’m some sort of freak because I’ll have no idea what the hell I’m doing.”
“No one will think you’re a freak, Ava. It’s endearing that you waited this long.”
And frankly shocking as fuck. She’s beautiful. Guys have to have been sniffing around her for years. And she didn’t let anyone in? Any guy would be lucky to be the recipient of her virginity.
She contorts her lips into a pout and taps her fingers against the bar. “I understand if you don’t want to. I mean, you could have any girl you want. I’m sure I’m not high on your list of desirable candidates.”
“I wish you wouldn’t talk about yourself like that. You are beautiful and enticing. But you’re also…” I let out a breath trying to control the raging hormones inside of me that have been going haywire ever since Ava alluded to me taking her virginity. “You’re my best friend’s little sister.”
“So? I wasn’t suggesting we tell him.”
“I held you when you were born.”
“Well, it’s been a long time since then.”
“Your parents see me like a second son…”
“We aren’t related,” she argues back.
I rub my hands together, wondering how many excuses I can come up with and how many reasons she’ll have to shut them down. “I don’t want to hurt you,” I whisper, knowing that of all the excuses I could give, that was the most important one.
She shrugs. “Then don’t.”
Three
* * *
The next morning, my eyes pop open to the smell of coffee and the sound of typing, close. Too close. I open my eyes, and the first thing I realize is how unbelievably comfortable this bed is. It’s like I’m sleeping on a cloud. I put a hand over my eyes, willing the hangover away for the time being.
I look around the small room. And when I say small, I mean small. Like smaller than my bathroom at my office, small. There’s barely enough room for a bed and a desk and a dresser. Ava is sitting at her desk, her back to me, typing away at her computer. She has her hair up in a messy bun, exposing her neck and back as she’s wearing a thin cotton tank top and sweatpants.
“Morning,” I grumble, and she spins in her chair to give me a smile.
“Morning, sunshine.” She grabs the mug from her desk and hands it to me. “Here’s some coffee.”
“Thanks.” I smile as I sit up. I’m still in my clothes from last night, and I must have been pretty drunk to sleep in my eight hundred dollar slacks. “Wow, we drank a lot last night.”
She shakes her head before she brings her mug to her lips and sits down next to me. “Yeah, thanks for bringing me home.”
“Of course, sorry I crashed.”
“It’s okay,” she says softly. “I asked you to.”
I nod, thanking God I’m still in my clothes, meaning that we didn’t have sex. The thoughts of the night come flooding back to me, including her preposterous idea that I should take her virginity.
“We didn’t… I mean…” I stumble, and she shakes her head.
“No. We didn’t.”
With the help of God and divine intervention. I’m the furthest thing from a gentleman when I’ve been drinking, especially around a woman who wants to fuck. And while there’s a hundred reasons why I shouldn’t touch Ava, I am still a man, and I have needs.
“Ava, about last night.”
“Jackson, you agreed.” She raises an eyebrow at me, and I know she can’t be thinking that this is some legally binding agreement. I am backing the fuck out of whatever I agreed to last night.
“I was drunk; I didn’t know what I was saying. You cannot consent while drunk, young lady. Remember that,” I tell her sternly, not wanting her to get into the habit of sleeping with people while under the influence.
“But--”
“No, Ava.” I take a sip of my coffee. Why is she making it so hard to do the right thing? Even now, I feel my resolve weakening as I avoid looking at her nipples hardening under the thin material of her tank top.
“Fine.” She gets up slowly, and before I can blink, she’s standing in front of her door, effectively blocking me from the exit, and her tank top has been dragged over her head and tossed to the floor. My eyes almost pop out of my skull as she pulls her hair from her bun, letting it cascade down her shoulders. I think I’m drooling at this point as her hardened nipples are just aching to be touched, sucked, licked, bit. I grit my teeth.
“What the fuck, Ava?”
She hooks her fingers into her waistband and drags them slowly down her legs. At this point I think I’m hyperventilating as I see the black satin boy short-style underwear, a stark contrast to her pale skin. “You… said you liked it last night.”
“Last night? When the fuck were you naked last night?” I close my eyes, trying to will the image of a topless Ava out of my memory, but it’s too late.
It’s ingrained in there.
I see her crawling up the bed, and I put a hand out. “No, no, stay back.”
“What do you think I’m going to do, take advantage of you?” She giggles. “Jackson, you made me promise to not let you freak out.”
“I’m freaking out.”
“But you want to help.”
“Says who?!”
“You did. You told me that you would help. That you’d do anything I needed because I deserved a proper loss of virginity ceremony.” She giggles. “Your words.”
“Can you put your top on?”
“Why? You had your mouth all over them last night.”
“WHAT?!”
I sit back down as I try to let my thoughts drift back to the night before. I could have sworn I was more sober, but for some reason everything
after the bar is a blur.
The night before:
I open Ava’s car door as we walk up to her building. I am somewhat pleased that it’s in a decent neighborhood and that a code is required to get in. Once you get in, another set of doors stops you from entering the lobby.
“This seems safe?”
“Yeah, unless someone sneaks in with food delivery. Which happens.” I frown thinking about a random New Yorker walking around Ava’s building. We climb the three flights of stairs, and she opens the door to find her roommate in the kitchen pulling her hair into a topknot while she scurries around the room like a chicken with her head cut off.
“I am so fucking late. Hey, Remington.”
“Hey, Jackson, this is my roommate Darcy. Darcy, Jackson.” She says pointing back and forth between us.
“Nice to meet ya.” She pulls her coat on and throws her crossbody bag on before planting a kiss on Ava’s cheek. “I’m sorry I have to run, but I want to hear all about this…,” she says pointing back and forth between us, “later.” She smiles. “Raid my room if you need it.” And I have a feeling that’s code for “take condoms as needed.”
She closes the door behind her, and Ava sighs. “So yeah, that’s Darcy.”
“You said you get along with her okay?” I ask her. I’ve had roommates before. Shitty ones. Including my inconsiderate-ass brother. It can suck sharing a living space with someone you don’t get along with. One who doesn’t respect your space, your privacy, you in general.
“She’s great. I love her. She’s quiet when I’m studying, and she’s clean, and she cooks.”
She sits on the couch, and I sit next to her. “You can come stay with me if you change your mind. If she ends up sucking…,” I tell her. “You don’t have to feel alone here. I’m sorry that I haven’t been there.”
“It’s okay. You’re here now.”
“No more going out alone by yourself late at night, Ava. I mean it.”
“Okay.”
I nod, trying to avoid the elephant in the room. “You really want this?”
“Yes, please.”
“You sure there’s no one else you’d rather…”
“I don’t trust anyone in the tri-state area more than you, Jackson. Hell, besides my father and my brother, you may be the only other man I completely trust.”
Her words touch me, and that mixed with how close she’s sitting has me breaking the promise to myself that I would not touch her. My hand finds her thigh, and she shivers, causing me to go from six to midnight thinking about how much I affect her.
“Okay, I’ll do it.”
“Really?”
“Yes, I don’t want you going out and doing something reckless. And your first time should be special. You deserve a proper loss of virginity ceremony,” I joke. I tuck a hair behind her ear, and she leans in to my touch. “But not tonight,” I whisper, and it’s not only to her but to myself as I try and bring myself back from the point of no return. “We’ve been drinking.”
“So?”
“So, this is your first time. I want you to feel everything. I want you hyper aware of every nerve in your body because I’m going to bend them all to my whim. I am going to turn you completely inside out, Ava.”
She gulps, “Do I get a preview?”
“What do you want?”
She taps her chin a few times and stares into the air as if the answer will come from there. “An orgasm.” She smiles.
“I can do that,” I tell her, pulling her to her feet and letting her lead me in the direction of her room.
We get inside and I basically have the space to turn around. “Holy shit, this room is small.”
“New York livin’, baby.”
“No, seriously. What is this apartment, like seven hundred square feet?”
“Six-fifty.” She shrugs, and I almost choke on my own tongue.
“Six-fifty? Ava, we have to find you something better for next year. This is unbelievable.”
“It’s fine; stop being such a snob!”
“I’m not. But…”
“Jackson, orgasm.” She puts her hands on her hips, cocks her head, and fuck if it’s not the hottest thing I’ve ever seen.
“So demanding. Okay, let’s have some ground rules.”
She hops on the bed, bouncing a few times before landing in the middle. “Ground rules, got it.”
“Maybe no kissing?”
“No kissing?” she asks, her eyebrows rising to her hairline.
“On the mouth…it’s personal.”
“Okay, Pretty Woman. What else you got?”
Pretty Woman? What the fuck? Oh, the Julia Roberts movie when she’s a prostitute? I don’t get the reference but whatever. Ava must take my silence as not knowing what she means, so she adds, “You haven’t seen Pretty Woman either? Jesus, Walsh, your movie knowledge is shit.”
“I don’t have a ton of time to watch movies.”
“Stick with me, kid. I’ll hook you up.”
“If at any time, you want to back out--”
“I won’t.”
“I’m saying if--”
“And I’m saying I won’t.”
“Woman!” I say, frustrated that she seems to be all in on this without a care in the world that she was just thrusting her virginity at her brother’s best friend.
“Man!” She giggles, and I push her onto her back, allowing myself to hover over her. I’m already hating myself for the no kissing rule because her lips are begging for me. I rub my thumb over her lip and then down her collarbone, slowly unbuttoning the silk blouse that she wore to dinner. I pull it off of her, leaving her in a blue lace bra.
This woman will be the death of me.
“Have you had an orgasm before?”
“Yes.”
“Self-inflicted?”
“Yes.”
“Have you ever done anything with a man?”
She sits up on her elbows and shakes her head. “No.”
“Seriously? You are twenty-two, you’re… insanely gorgeous. How is it that you’ve avoided sex for so long?”
She shrugs. “You know your friends lose it in high school or beginning of college, and then by the time all your friends have lost it, you figure why settle? At this point, I wanted to wait for something special.”
“And I’m… special?”
She bites her bottom lip, and it must be the alcohol giving her confidence because she looks me square in the eye and says, “Yes.”
I wasn’t expecting that.
I unclasp her bra and slide it down her arms, and I’m hit with the most perfect pair of breasts I’ve ever seen. They’re round and supple and the perfect size for my hand--and my mouth. Her creamy breasts are flawless, and her pink nipples have hardened under my gaze. She’s the reason women get work done on their breasts. What they aspire to look like. “Wow,” I say, my eyes never leaving her chest once. “You have the most beautiful breasts, Ava.”
I haven’t looked at her face, but her chest rises and falls rapidly, so I know she’s getting nervous. “Thank you.”
“Calm down, Ava, it’s okay.” I press a kiss to her sternum in the attempt to keep my lips off of hers per my stupid rule. I kiss her left nipple and then her right, and I swear Ava jumps two feet. “Easy,” I whisper against her chest as I continue alternating back and forth between her luscious tits, giving them kisses. It isn’t until I hear my name leave her lips that I suck one into my mouth, and the moan that leaves her is so wanton that I almost come in my pants.
I don’t know how long my lips have been attached to her nipples but I feel her rubbing her thighs together beneath me, and I can smell her arousal all around me.
“Do you think you can come with me just playing with your nipples?” I ask as I continue to suck and bite at the rosy buds.
“I--I don’t know. But…you can take my tights off.”
“No,” I tell her. “If I get you completely naked, I won’t be able to trust myself.” She look
s down at me and shoots me a grin. “Tomorrow, Ava. We start tomorrow.”
Four
* * *
Ava: Do you want to come over later?
I look down at the blue text bubble and sigh, then look to the heavens for mercy from this woman who was breaking me down day by day. It had been two days since I’d French kissed the hell out of Ava’s tits, and I’ve been avoiding being alone with her ever since.
I knew she wasn’t going to let me out of this that easily.
What about dinner? There’s a new Greek restaurant around the corner from my building. We can try it?
The more people around the better. Two nights ago, we went to dinner, and last night we saw a movie. Although that backfired, because sitting in the dark with Ava for two hours did nothing for the ache in my cock that comes with being around her.
Ava: I was thinking I could cook?
Fuck. I rub my face as I try to recall the last time I had a woman cook me dinner. Probably my mother. I’m sure there was a line a mile long of women who’d jump at the opportunity, but I never let things get that far.
My phone vibrates with another text from her.
Ava: I’m thinking mac and cheese?
I shake my head as I can see what she’s doing. Ava’s mom, Melanie Remington’s macaroni and cheese used to be my favorite food, and assumedly Ava knows how to make it as well. She thinks she’s so slick.
I know what you’re doing.
Ava: And what is that? Trying to feed a friend?
You can’t seduce me with food.
Ava: Actually, studies show that’s EXACTLY how you seduce a man ;)
I’m onto you, Remington.
Ava: Well, not yet...
I chuckle at her innuendo.
STOP! okay fine DINNER. That’s all. What should I bring?
Ava: Condoms?
I almost drop my phone when I get her text.
Ava!