I nodded as he started jogging backward toward the other kids in the field. When he shot me a grin and turned to break out into a run, I lifted my camera and began to shoot. I shot pictures of Craig and the baseball kids until the bell rang, then I gathered my things and waited for Craig to meet up with me.
“Ready?” Craig shouted, and I began walking to meet him. I didn’t want to be late for class.
I fell into step beside him, suddenly unsure of what to say as we followed the herd inside the school.
“Were you taking pictures of us playing?” Craig asked, his question causing me to look up and search his face.
What if he thought it was creepy that I did that? Oh, gosh, I didn’t want him to make fun of me, or think I was a weirdo for taking pictures of him.
“Um, yeah, I took some of you guys,” I replied nervously.
Craig’s grin flashed again and my stomach eased when he said, “Cool! If you have any good action shots of me, can I have ‘em? My mom likes to make scrapbooks and stuff, and she doesn’t have any of me practicing at school. She loves that stuff. Says she wants a record of how I got to the Majors.”
“Sure,” I replied, excited at the thought of my pictures going into Craig’s scrapbook. I would be like a real photographer… “I can email them right to your house, if you give me an email address.”
“Awesome, I’ll find out from my mom and let you know tomorrow.” He stopped and pointed at Ms. Wilson’s door. “Well, this is me, I have science this hour. What do you have?”
“Math,” I replied, moving to the side as some girls pushed passed me, giggling.
“Bummer,” Craig replied. “See ya later, Gwen.”
“Okay,” I said quietly, watching him walk into the classroom, laughing with some guys as he joined them by the desks.
I smiled to myself as I walked to class, but I knew I’d have to keep my crush on Craig a secret. He didn’t look at me that way, so if I wanted to be his friend, I had to pretend that I just liked him as a friend too. And, I couldn’t let Gaby find out, she’d tease me and tell her friends… who would tell the boys and Craig’s brother, and it would get back to him. No, I needed to keep my feelings to myself, and be happy that I get to spend time with him, and get to know him better than the silly girls in class who made fools of themselves whenever they talk to him.
I was gonna be the best friend he ever had.
Chapter Three ~ Craig
Present Day (20 years old)
“C’mon, Liam!” I shouted as I rolled the baseball around in my palm, “Hurry up.”
“Keep your pants on,” my catcher, Liam said as he jogged to his position behind home plate, puling his mask down over his face.
He crouched down and brought his glove out in front of him, indicating he was ready for me to start warming up. I perfected my stance, breathing in deeply and letting my mind clear. I blocked out the sound of the guys warming up behind me, and the fans filing into their seats in anticipation of the scrimmage. When I felt completely and utterly focused, I bent my knee, brought my arms in close, and exhaled as I threw the pitch.
Liam and I had been a team since our freshman year at USC, and were not only inseparable on the field, but were roommates and best friends as well. We met each other when we both attended a campus tour during our senior year of high school. We’d been lucky enough to room together that night, and had discovered that we were both interested in playing baseball for USC. He and I spent most of the weekend together, meeting the coaches and touring the school, as well as attending a party at Sigma Tau.
Gwen had been with me that weekend, checking out the campus. Gwen, Liam, and I had gone to the party with Gwen’s friend, Aliyah. That was the night everything changed between Gwen and me, and unfortunately, we hadn’t been able to get our relationship back on track.
Thinking about Gwen broke my concentration momentarily, and I looked up into the bleachers to see her sitting in her usual seat. Even though we were no longer the friends we used to be, Gwen kept the promise she’d made to me when we were kids, and never missed a home game.
I watched as she raised her camera to take pictures of the team, her blonde hair blowing wildly behind her, and felt the usual pang of loss. I missed being able to talk to her whenever I wanted. Nowadays, I was lucky if she made eye contact with me on campus. And I lived for the vacations and family stuff that allowed us to carpool home, even though she was never as engaged as I wanted her to be, I still tried.
“Craig, you alright, man?” Liam called out, breaking me from my thoughts.
I turned my attention back to him and gave a brisk nod, before bringing my focus back where it needed to be.
We were all on our game, and beat the other team by two runs. It was a sweet victory, since they were our rivals. It didn’t matter that it was just a scrimmage, we took competition seriously and we were planning to celebrate at the Sig Tau house that night. Of course, we would have been partying at the frat house either way, but it was much more fun to celebrate a victory, than to nurse a loss.
Liam and I shared a place a block over from the Sig Tau house, which made it easy to attend all of the necessary functions without actually living in the house and having to deal with the non-stop party. We both needed to maintain our grades in order to keep our scholarships, and were glad to have a quiet place to get away when we needed to study.
“Ready in twenty?” Liam asked as he made a beeline for the shower.
“Thirty?” I countered.
Liam nodded and shut the door. We rented the top floor of a two-story house and only had the one bathroom. Luckily, it was a two-bedroom, so we each had our own space. That was a pre-requisite when we were looking for a place to rent. We had our own entrance off the back of the house, and our floor included a small living room and galley-style kitchen. There wasn’t a lot of room, but it was perfect for the two of us.
I went to my room and pressed play on my old docked iPod. I kept my phone updated with the new music I downloaded, but I still loved the stuff I had on my iPod and kept it ready at all times. Most of the songs reminded me of growing up... and Gwen. We’d always shared a love of music, and often had music playing in the background, no matter what we were doing… Hanging out at the playground, hiking, or even watching baseball. The songs and playlists on that device always took me back to those happier times, and I often found myself listening to them after a game. Probably because I’d always see her in the stands, so she was fresh on my mind.
“Yours!” Liam shouted as he went from the bathroom in to his room and shut the door.
I threw my uniform into the hamper in the corner of my room, my mom’s contribution to my bachelor pad, and grabbed my iPod to take it into the bathroom with me so I could listen to it as I showered. I wasn’t quite ready to let go of Gwen yet for the night. Pretty soon I’d be at the party, and would find a hot and willing girl to help me forget, but for now, I was happy to be swept up in the memories.
I was all decked out in a sea green American Eagle shirt, which matched my eyes and drove the girls nuts, jeans, grey Sperrys, and a dose of the Gucci Guilty cologne that my brother, Cal, had given me for my birthday this year. I finished arranging my hair in a perfect, messy style and went out to meet Liam, who was dressed similarly.
We walked the short block away to the frat house, and found it already booming with loud music and overflowing with an array of college students, ranging from happily buzzed to already sloppy drunk.
Liam and I grinned at each other, then sauntered in, talking to people as we made our way through the house. There was a keg in one corner, and a large barrel of what I can only assume was jungle juice in another corner, and a few of our brothers were manning both.
“Great game today,” Sean, one of our Sigma Tau brothers said as he handed me a beer.
“Thanks, man, I’m happy we pulled it off,” I responded as I took a pull of my beer and surveyed the bodies bumping and grinding throughout the room. My gaze paused, and the gr
in left my face when I noticed Aliyah standing by the kitchen, holding a drink and talking heatedly to a girl whose face I couldn’t see.
Aliyah was beautiful, and had been since the day I’d met her in middle school. She and Gwen had been instant friends, which made her my friend too, until the day Gwen stopped talking to me, that is, I’d lost Aliyah’s friendship after our tour of USC as well. Tall, with curly black hair, creamy mocha skin, and a body that just wouldn’t quit, Aliyah was one of the hottest girls on campus, but since she was Gwen’s best friend, I’d never even considered going there. Liam ,on the other hand, had made it his mission to land Aliyah before graduation. So far, he was batting zero.
I looked around the room, knowing for a fact, if Aliyah was here, Gwen was too.
I stopped looking when I saw Gwen’s blonde head moving along to the music as she danced with my Sig Tau brother, Jeb, a cocky bastard who played on the football team. I felt the anger begin to prickle along my skin as I wondered why she always had to do this shit. Why’d she always have to come to parties at my frat house, and hit on my brothers, when she knew I would be there? And every time I tried to talk to her, she’d blow me off, ignore me, or make some smart-ass comment.
I was sick and tired of it. I wanted to be able enjoy the party, find a hot chick to celebrate my win with, and forget the time of my life that Gwen had been the center of…
“That’s it,” I mumbled as I pushed my way through the crown toward my ex-best friend. “I’m putting an end to this shit once and for all.”
Chapter Four ~ Gwen
Present Day (20 years old)
As I swayed my body to the rhythm, I was vaguely aware of the hands at my hips, as the alcohol running through me numbed my limbs deliciously.
I needed this, especially after spending another evening at the ball fields, shooting pictures of the baseball team, and, of course, Craig. Craig with his six feet of gorgeous, toned muscles, eyes the color of the sea after a storm, and the deep-belly laugh that affected me so much I felt it in my bones any time I heard it.
I was torturing myself, and even though I realized it, I was unable to stop doing it.
Aliyah told me I was a glutton for punishment.
“Why don’t we go to one of the one hundred other frat parties going on tonight, Gwen?” she’d asked before we left our apartment, just like she did every time I begged her to go with me to a Sig Tau party. “You know Craig is going to be there. He’ll try to talk to you, you’ll ignore him, yada, yada, yada… Same shit, different day.”
“Oh, c’mon, you know you like seeing him, you don’t have to deny it on my account,” I said, even though I knew it wasn’t fair. Craig and I had met Aliyah when we were twelve, and had been friends all through middle and high school. But, being the loyal friend that she was, when I stopped talking to Craig after our USC tour, she’d stopped talking to him too. And although I knew she probably missed him almost as much as I did, I was grateful that she’d taken my side.
Even if she didn’t fully understand why.
“You’re right,” she said to my statement about Craig. “I do like seeing him. But I’d much rather see him back at Ms. Rose’s with a nice fat slice of her apple pie, or at the very least, be able to catch up with him and see how he’s doing… But since it doesn’t look like that’s ever going to happen, I’d rather not spend the night ignoring him, and watching him watch you with that sad expression on his face. I can’t take it.”
“Oh, he’s fine,” I argued, not wanting to imagine Craig sad, even though I knew I often made him feel that way. “It’ll be fun. Hey, maybe Liam will finally convince you to go out with him.”
“Ugh,” she moaned dramatically, just like I knew she would, allowing me to change the subject since we both knew we were going to that party, no matter how often she tried to talk me out of it. “You’d think he’d gain a little self-respect.”
“He’s not so bad,” I said truthfully. “Pretty hot actually. I still don’t get why you never say yes.”
Aliyah threw her gorgeous curls over her shoulder as she put on her lipstick. At my words, her eyes met mine in the mirror and she looked at me pointedly.
“How could I ever say yes, Gwen? You’ve been fighting with his best friend since the day we met. How could I date him, when you would never want him around? You’d always be thinking of Craig. We’d never get to double date, and you’d never want to go to his house… because he lives with Craig.” As Aliyah’s words penetrated, I wondered how I’d never realized that was the reason why she always turned Liam down. I just figured she didn’t like him. My stomach hurt as I realized just how selfish I’d been for the last few years. “What would be the point in starting something that is doomed from the beginning? You know I’m not into hooking up just for the sake of hooking up.”
I nodded; I did know that about her. It was one of the things I admired the most. Aliyah was always so sure of herself, knew what she wanted, and didn’t let anything change her course. I wished I was more like her.
I shook my head, clearing my thoughts as the jungle juice threatened to disable all my thinking ability. Jungle juice was a concoction made with many different liquors, juices, and fruit. Sometime I thought people just threw in whatever they could find. I didn’t know the exact recipe, but the stuff sure was delicious. And it did the trick.
As I looked around, I noticed Liam walking over to Aliyah. He looked handsome as usual, in jeans and a V-neck shirt, his hair perfectly tousled and his mischievous grin in place. I watched as he spoke to Aliyah, making her turn her attention from the conversation from the girl in her biology class, to him. I watched his face as he flirted, and knew the moment she shot him down. Liam tried to look as if it didn’t matter, but I could tell that almost three years of rejection was starting to get to him, and as he walked past her into the kitchen, I wondered why he didn’t give up.
“Jeb, can I cut in for a minute?” an achingly familiar voice said to my left, causing me to forget about Liam and Aliyah, and turn toward Craig.
“No,” I said loudly, before Jeb could respond, then growled in frustration when Jeb turned and walked away. “Ugh, what do you want?”
I didn’t wait for him to respond, instead turning on my heel and walking down the hall toward the bathroom.
“I want to know why you’re here. Why you keep coming to my frat parties, when there are a million other parties that you can go to. Do you like torturing me?” Craig asked from right behind me.
I whirled suddenly, causing him to stop so abruptly he had to steady himself with one hand on the wall, spilling a healthy stream of beer onto his shoes. We both watched as the gold liquid hit his nice, clean loafers.
I trailed my gaze up to his, an apology on my lips, but froze when I saw the anger on his face.
“You don’t want to talk to me anymore… Fine! You don’t want to be friends… Whatever, I’m happy to accommodate you.” Craig began walking closer as he talked, causing me to step back. “But your actions show something different. I think you miss me, you just don’t know how to make things right between us, and that’s why you’re always here. Just admit it, Gwen… Talk to me,” The anger left his voice as he pleaded with me, and although I knew what he was saying was true, I couldn’t bring myself to take the olive branch he was extending.
“Get over yourself,” I responded instead, lifting my chin and meeting his eyes haughtily. “I like to come here because you guys have the best booze, and the hottest guys.”
Craig took another step, and when my back hit the wall, I put my hands on my hips, refusing to back down at the look of hurt that flashed across his face.
“So you’re just here to get drunk and fuck my brothers, is that it?” he replied, and I had to stop myself from flinching at his crassness. I knew I was hurting him, but I needed to preserve my heart, and this was the only way I knew how to do it.
“Yup.”
“Well, don’t let me keep you,” he replied, stepping to the side.
“Don’t be such a hypocrite. You go home with random girls all the time, and you certainly drink your share of alcohol…”
Craig stepped back in front of me, blocking my way, and leaned his face down into mine, the anger practically vibrating off of him.
“Don’t give me that double standard bullshit. If I thought for one minute you were drinking and sleeping with random guys because you were enjoying college and sowing your wild oats, or whatever the fuck you call it, I’d be all for it. I’d be your biggest damn champion… But we both know that’s not it. You’re doing this for my benefit, to punish me. And the shit of it is, I have no idea what I’m being punished for, but I can tell you one thing, you’re not happy. You know it, and I know it, and I just wish you’d wake the fuck up and let me help you.”
His words pierced my skin and I suddenly felt like a cornered, injured animal, and all I wanted to do was fight back.
I was about to scream in his face, and maybe start kicking, when Liam and Aliyah came up behind us and Liam put a hand on Craig’s shoulder.
“Hey, brother, ease up,” Liam said with a forced chuckle. “The entire party can hear your squabble.”
Craig turned to his side and I squeezed past him, taking Aliyah’s hand so she could lead me down the hall.
“Gwen,” Craig called, his voice gentle and full of regret. “Meet you next Friday at three?”
I nodded, then turned and walked away.
We were going home for Brock and Victoria’s baby shower. Even though I didn’t give him the time of day for most of the year, we always drove back home for special events and holidays together. It started when Shelly and Cal had their first baby. Craig had been so excited to be an uncle, and I really wanted to be there to see the baby, so I’d agreed to go with him. After that, it just became a habit. I knew I should put a stop to it, I’d been telling myself that for years, but it was the only time that I let myself be with him, and not fight the entire time. We both loved our family and friends, and since they were so closely intertwined, it would be silly not to go together.
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