I nearly chickened out. From the bathing suit, from the flirting that I knew was such a bad idea, from the whole thing. But it was already too seductive to resist, and even putting on the suit again, damp and clingy though it was after last night’s swim, made me slightly turned-on with the keen awareness that Jack would be seeing me in it and clearly enjoying what he saw.
I considered trading it for my safe lime green one-piece, now recovered in my luggage, but it wasn’t a very lengthy consideration. I threw on a gauzy, black knee-length cover-up and flip-flops and was out the door and back down to the lobby with my purloined hotel towel before Jack arrived at the spot where we’d all agreed to rendezvous.
Kendra and Jane were already there, loitering in the rather elegant lobby chairs by the door nearest the beach, Jane wiggling uncomfortably on her seat.
I asked Jane politely about the state of her feet and she answered noncommittally, though since she was also wearing flip-flops, I could see the blisters on her heels and the nearly raw red marks where the leather of her sandals had abused the flesh over the course of the hike. But the way she was shifting in her chair didn’t really look like it had anything to do with her feet. It really looked more like…
Oh. Again, oh.
Kendra’s especially smug smile, the way she was studiously avoiding Jane’s glare. Jane’s murderous glances at Kendra each time she shifted her weight from one side to the other—murderous but also tinged with another, just-as-powerful emotion I now recognized as lust. I put two and two together just about the time the next wave of people came down in the elevator, Jack included.
In fact, I was glad for the distraction that Jack’s arrival provided, because I was a bit embarrassed to be alone with Kendra and Jane after my epiphany about what seemed to have transpired between them in their shared suite. Although I was strongly considering a word with Jane, if I could get her by herself…
“Hang on,” I said to Jack finally, when we were all trooping out the door. Lagging back a bit in the crowd, I let Jane catch up to me, seeing that Kendra had walked on ahead. Hoping she wouldn’t be offended, I leaned close and mentioned that I had some Tiger Balm in my bag upstairs if she needed it later to help make it through a sit-down dinner.
“For…for my feet?” she asked in confusion. “Oh no, honey, I don’t think—”
“I didn’t mean for your feet, honey,” I replied coyly, putting much more Texan into my voice than usual, matching Jane’s own drawn-out vowels.
Jane was silent for a few seconds and then nodded, looking only a little bit embarrassed. Tiger Balm was almost a code word. The lethally fiery balm was well known among those of us who tended to be on the receiving end of things when it came to our chosen expression of love. That is, as long as the skin is only bruised, not broken. On broken or abraded skin, Tiger Balm is a punishment—one I’d only experienced once and hoped never to go through again.
“Toss it to me in the hall when we come back up, but puh-lease try not to let Kendra see or she’ll shit a brick.” A few seconds later she paled and asked, “Did she tell you?” Her steel magnolia façade was near crumbling, and I rushed to reassure her.
“No, no, she didn’t have to. I figured it out on my own. I mean, I figured out the two of you were…together…earlier. And figured out some other things. You know. And the way you were moving around on your seat earlier…well, I’ve been there enough times that I recognized that wiggle. The balm will burn like hell at first but—”
“She did tell me again and again to pack those stupid, ugly fucking hiking boots,” Jane admitted, “but I threw them out at the last minute when I was making room for a new dress. She hasn’t even seen it on me yet. Damn, this hurts!”
“We’ll do a sneaky ointment handoff later. You can keep it. It’s not like I’m going to need Tiger Balm this trip for anything but a pulled muscle if we go hiking again.”
“You’re not?” Jane said, her initial confusion replaced by a dawning awareness. “Oh honey, that’s just sad. But maybe y’all will make up. Rio’s pretty romantic, after all.” And breaking into a painful little jog, she left my side and rejoined Kendra, leaving me a bit puzzled and slightly concerned.
Just what impression had Jack and I been giving everyone?
The question was driven from my mind instantly when I felt a grip like a vise clamp around my wrist—and Jack’s very quiet voice not asking, but telling, “Later on you will be explaining some things, little Katie.”
Oops.
Jack clearly deduced part of his explanation for himself at the beach. Jane tore her shorts and t-shirt off and dashed into the water with no regard for the effects of the hot sand or saltwater on her feet, but I could see his eyes widen as he spotted the patches of pink still clearly visible on either side of her butt where her bikini bottom wasn’t quite covering all the evidence. And without realizing it, Kendra gave an even clearer sign, watching Jane’s little dance across the sand with a very satisfied smirk and unconsciously shaking her hand from the wrist. Well, it made sense her hand was probably a little sore too, if she’d done that much damage in that short of time.
Jack turned away from this scene with a little “huh” and a look on his face that was comical enough to force a nervous giggle from me. He looked my way, puzzled, and helped me spread out the towels while mulling things over.
“So I guess I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place. I was going to say you should see if Jane will do the sunscreen on your back, but apparently that would be pretty inappropriate. And obviously I’m not going to suggest you ask Kendra to go anywhere near your back.”
After a second of trying not to laugh, I couldn’t keep it in. And to my relief, Jack joined in as we sat down, puzzling all those around us as we purposefully didn’t share the joke.
“I don’t need help with sunscreen, I can reach everything back there,” I said, opening the tube and demonstrating. Only the spots just below my shoulder blades were tough to rub in, but I managed. Even the last few sunbeams of the day were more than capable of frying my skin if I wasn’t slathered with the stuff.
“So what else do I need to explain, Sir?” I asked saucily as I worked, forgetting my caution for just a moment. The others, four other mid-to-upper-management types, had already spread their towels and headed for the water. Kendra was sitting a little too far away to hear us over the noise of the crowded beach, and seemed already lost in the book she’d brought with her. She’d kindly offered to watch everyone else’s stuff while they swam. “Do I need to explain about the Tiger Balm?”
“No. I know what that’s for. It works for the normal kinds of sore muscles too, you know.”
“True, it isn’t just for us perverts,” I said, moving to stretch luxuriously in the sun’s lingering heat and then stopping short with a horrified gasp, realizing what I’d just said and to whom. “Oh my god, Sir, I am so sorry! I didn’t, I can’t believe I just said—”
“Kate.”
“It was totally inappropriate, I must be just…it’s the sun or something, it’s—”
“Kate. Stop talking.”
“Yes Sir. Oh. I mean—”
“Shhh. Stop.”
I just nodded this time, too terrified to go on. Flirting was one thing, brief hiking-related handholding was one thing, but this? Were there any odds I was not about to receive the firing of a lifetime?
“So,” said Jack. “So. Our shy, reserved little Katie not only knows all the signs and symptoms of a lesbian bottom having had her butt thoroughly smacked—it was about the shoes, did I hear that right?—she also has the nerve to sneak her new friend some Tiger Balm, plotting right under the top’s nose, to help her with her boo-boo. What do you think Kendra is going to do to Jane when she finds out, little Katie? She may not see it but you know she’ll smell it, that stuff’s impossible to miss.”
I couldn’t answer right away, because my entire worldview had just been given a forcible quarter turn and I was still trying to regain my footing in this n
ew, strange universe in which Jack asked me questions about the relationship between a Dominant and a submissive, and was expecting me to answer.
And was looking at me as though I’d better answer right.
And, oh my God, I wanted him.
My brain kicked into overdrive and I experienced a moment of deep empathy for what animals must feel like when they’re caught in oncoming headlights. I do not have office romances. Never, never, never. And especially not with the boss. I can’t. Can’t. There could not possibly be a worse idea. Never in history has that ever worked out well for anyone. At least nobody that I can think of right now. But…he’s not just a coworker or a boss, he’s…Jack.
“I didn’t think about that, Sir,” I admitted at last, my mouth dry and my pulse racing as I fell into a form of address that was all too familiar, but not one I thought I’d ever be using deliberately with this man. I was looking down studiously at my towel, at the hotel crest on the corner where sand was already infiltrating the gold embroidery.
So I heard, rather than saw, Jack’s frustrated sigh at my answer, and his next few words which he seemed to be whispering to himself as much as to me.
“I didn’t come here planning to do this,” he said, repeating what he’d said the previous day. “I should have known this was a bad idea, Kate. It’s Rio. I mean, I know that. But I thought I’d be fine with it, even here, and there was no way you hadn’t earned this trip. Nobody else was remotely qualified. I couldn’t rationalize a way not to pick you that didn’t just reek of discrimination. But getting here and finding out that you’re actually…damn. I mean, it’s just too much. I’m only human.”
“I…I don’t…” I couldn’t finish it, wasn’t even sure I knew what I’d intended to say.
“Yes, you do. That’s the problem. When I could tell myself that you didn’t, that there was no way I was right…little Katie Snow who always blushed if anyone said anything remotely out of line. I won’t pretend I hadn’t figured you out on some level, Kate, but I could at least pretend it was only in my mind. That it had to be wishful thinking. But now this? I mean…damn!” he said again, punching a fist into the forgiving white sand beside his hip. He sat with one arm around his knees, staring out over the water, his eyes far bluer than the ocean. I noticed, because I had peeked up at him now and found I couldn’t look away.
This was unfortunate. It meant that when he finally turned his gaze on me I was caught out, completely open, the longing in my eyes as transparent as it had ever been. The only way out was straight through, and I only knew I couldn’t keep sitting on that beach next to him, feeling like an idiot and not saying anything. I had to take some sort of action, contrary to my nature as it might be, to get myself away from the situation before I did something even more stupid.
I almost couldn’t believe what I heard myself saying, however, when I finally did talk.
“I guess there isn’t much point in acting like I don’t know what you’re talking about. There would only be one reason to do that, which would be to indicate I wasn’t interested.” I took a minute to look out over the waves myself before going on. “Last night you asked what I’d do if you just ordered me out into the hall, and I told you I’d say ‘yes Sir’ and go out to the hall right away. And you said it was really up to me.” I risked a little look at him. He was watching me expressionlessly.
“The thing is, Jack, I’m starting to realize I actually made my choice quite some time ago. And now, apparently, the issue of mismatched preferences isn’t an issue, is it? It’s just back to the question of how willing we are to risk it. So I think now…it’s actually up to you.”
Before he could answer, I hopped up from the towel and almost sprinted to the water, not stopping at the tide line but diving straight in and swimming against the waves until my body had cooled in the soothing Atlantic water and my head felt slightly clearer. Flicking my hair out of my face and treading water, I looked back at the beach but saw only Kendra by the towels, not Jack.
Bodysurfing back in toward shore until I could just touch down, I bobbed a little on my toes and looked around in growing distress. Jack also wasn’t with the group of conference guys—Steve, Andre, Kevin and Other Kevin—who had stopped splashing each other and were now standing in waist-deep water and chatting with some blonde. It was Jane, I saw, after paddling a little closer. Perhaps none of them realized they had little hope of getting anywhere with her, and it was probable none of them realized the reason was that Kendra was already getting there with her regularly.
“I could have been a shark,” said a low voice too near my ear, making me jump. I splashed around to face Jack, who had approached me silently and spoken from directly behind me. His greater height enabled him to stand much more firmly on the shifting sand, more easily handling the tidal motion. “Or a jellyfish. Or even just some guy with bad intentions. You weren’t paying any attention at all, little Katie. Not very safe.”
“I’m…sorry, Sir?” Please let this be what I think it is…
“We both would have been, if something had happened. Don’t go out that far again, please. Or you’ll hear about it from me later. And Katie?” He had started to swim back toward shore but turned back as if what he were about to say was just an afterthought, instead of being the whole point.
“Y-yes Sir?” He stroked back to me, close enough that his face was just inches away from mine, so close I could feel his motions transmitted through the water as he paddled his hands lightly to stay upright.
“I have no idea why Jane had that impression about us. I can only guess it’s an assumption she or Kendra made, not something you said.”
“It is, Sir, I would never have—”
“Shhh. Either way, I’m sure she’ll be very happy for you when you tell her you may well need your Tiger Balm back when she’s through with it, after all. Although if you don’t want to need it too badly tomorrow, you should be a good girl for me and skip the undies when you’re dressing for dinner tonight.”
And he swam away with a wicked grin, leaving me treading water that felt infinitely less dangerous, and a great deal less interesting, once he was gone.
Chapter Six
Dinner seemed to take place in some scientifically impossible stretch of time that could expand and contract at will. At some moments, the whole thing seemed to be lasting for hours as idle small talk between the ten of us there dragged on and on, failing to quite pull my interest away from wondering what Jack had planned for after we got back to the suite. We had known each other too long, and this trip was too short, for the night to culminate in anything other than sex, so that much was a given. But the details, particularly those related to what happened before the sex…there were too many variables, and my mind reeled a bit at the possibilities.
Another few conference attendees, not interested in the beach earlier, had latched on for dinner—Elizabeth, an environmental specialist with a very, very large oil company, and Georges, a somewhat dapper little French engineer who, it turned out, also spoke Portuguese. When Georges and Jack dropped into their second language to chat, about what I had no idea, time seemed to actually come to a halt.
But then, as I sipped rather wearily at the caipirinha I had been nursing since before dinner, I felt Jack’s hand shift from the back of my chair, where it had been resting casually, to my shoulder. He traced lazy patterns with his fingertips while regaling Georges with what sounded like a tale of our hike up the Pica de Tijuca, and suddenly my heart was pounding and I considered ordering dessert just to have something else to do with my hands before we left the restaurant and returned to the hotel. That event now seemed to loom up all too soon in my future. I was ready, almost painfully so, and had been for almost two years if I was being honest with myself. But I still wasn’t quite sure I was ready.
Kendra and Jane, glancing furtively around, seemed to be plotting a break for the restroom. I considered joining them, though I hesitated to accidentally horn in on anything. But then Kendra caught my
eye as she rose and gave a little nod my way, jerking her head toward the restroom sign.
I murmured a barely audible excuse to Jack and slipped away after the pair, cringing slightly as Elizabeth saw us and tagged along as well in the age-old accepted custom of all the women in the party adjourning to the restroom in a pack.
Just before reaching the door I had a sudden twinge of fear, wondering if Kendra planned to take me to task about the Tiger Balm. She didn’t, as it turned out. Instead she just gave me an appraising look when I walked in and then returned to repairing her lipstick, her regal face close to the mirror.
“So. ‘No, no, we’re not, right lifestyle, wrong relationship…’ What was all that again, sugarbuns?”
“Oh,” I sighed, shrugging. “It was true at the time. Things have gotten, um, weirder. Since then.”
We both smiled sweetly at Elizabeth, who looked a little puzzled and borderline uncomfortable as she leaned toward the mirror too, making minute and unnecessary fixes to her hair while she waited for an empty stall.
“Are you sure you know what you’re doing, Kate?” Kendra asked softly, obviously concerned. “Because you don’t really seem all that sure, and I don’t know you very well but I hate to see anyone just heading blindly for a crash.”
I gave it some thought. My first instinct, to lash out and contradict her, died quickly. I knew she was right in part. I wasn’t sure what I was doing, but I also wasn’t sure about whether there was a crash in store at the end of all this. That, of course, was always the dangerous part, the blind curve that might send you straight off a cliff if you were going too fast…
“So you know Jack? From before this week?” I asked, stalling for time, knowing she’d recognized him and they’d seemed familiar with one another at cocktails the night before.
When in Rio Page 5