“Autumn, come back,” I hear Wayne say as he comes trotting over.
Realization sets in and I see Jackson flush with embarrassment as well. He mumbles something and walks away.
I turn to Autumn. “What are you doing here? What’s going on?”
Wayne removes his glasses and pinches the bridge of his nose. “I think this is a Big Daddy’s kind of night.” Big Daddy’s—an old, greasy diner that never closes—is our favorite place to eat during times of stress or inebriation.
I nod and look past Wayne’s shoulder at Jackson. He says something to Chris and turns back to look at me once more. We lock eyes for a few seconds then he runs his hand through his hair and grabs his coat, leaving.
Awhile later, I am sharing a booth at Big Daddy’s with Autumn and Wayne.
We’ve been sitting here for an hour now, eating fries and listening to Autumn cry about John. From what I can gather, tonight had started out as a perfect evening. John had given her a dozen red roses, taken her to a fancy restaurant, and been a complete gentleman the entire time. Later, he had taken her to a popular lounge for drinks and dancing, and that was apparently where the trouble began. Autumn had questioned his commitment and John had confessed that he was still actively dating other women from Chat Love. Poor Autumn had been crushed, because she’d assumed that they were in a committed relationship and had therefore stopped pursuing other options.
As I take another bite of my veggie burger, I watch Autumn nibble a fry in between sobs. She’s already had macaroni and cheese and chicken tenders, and she’s currently working on a cheeseburger. If I were in her shoes, I’d be eating everything in sight, so I’m not judging.
“I have been exercising and dieting nonstop for these men and look where it gets me,” Autumn says as she shoves more fries in her mouth.
“Autumn, have you considered that you might be overreacting a bit?” I ask. She responds with a silent glare as another fistful of fries disappears into her mouth. I quickly add, “I’m just saying that maybe you’re being too hard on John, if the two of you never officially defined anything as being exclusive.”
She shakes her head. “No, John is the typical man; he’s just like the rest of them. They’re all just interested in Chat Love because it allows them to simply scroll through and pick whichever woman they’d like to toy with next, without having to do any actual work.” She looks at Wayne and adds, “No offense.”
He puts his hands up, indicating that he understands her point.
Autumn takes a bite of her burger, talking with her mouth full, “I thought John was the one. I’d already picked out my wedding invitations and everything.”
I groan. “Autumn, I’m going to be honest with you. You always set yourself up for heartbreak. I think you were rushing into things, a bit. You only went out with one person from the site, and didn’t bother to meet anyone else. Isn’t the site designed to help you meet other people?”
She wipes a tear. “No, you’re supposed to find love, and that’s what I thought I’d found with John. I thought he felt the same way, but he said he still wants to see what else is out there, to make sure I’m actually the one for him.”
I rub her back while she starts eating some ice cream the waiter brought by. Lately, this has been a pattern. Wayne, Autumn, and I usually end up hanging out together after we finish a night out with the rest of the group. Danni, Corey, and Ian are our polar opposites: the three of them usually end up finding someone to spend the night with, while the three of us find a place to eat and complain about our loneliness.
Autumn suddenly exclaims, “I’m just so sick of being alone! When am I going to find my husband? That’s all I want!” She starts crying again, still shoving fries into her mouth.
While I continue trying to console my weeping, feasting friend, my thoughts return to Jackson and what happened between us. How will I be able to face him at work? I’m not sure if he’ll mention it or pretend that nothing happened, although I have a sneaking suspicion that it will be the latter. I decide that it will be best to just call in sick on Monday and give myself another day to think. I deserve a day off every now and then, anyway. Yes, I’m a chicken.
Chapter 10
Even though I’m uneasy about the idea, I decide to go to work on Monday. Just as I predicted, Jackson chooses to ignore me and pretend like nothing out of the ordinary had happened. As soon as he makes one of his normal half-assed remarks about a guest I’ve booked, I feel a wave of relief wash over me. He’s being his normal rude self, confirming that the alcohol was definitely doing the talking over the weekend. Thankfully, this means that it will be just another day.
On Thursday night I am enjoying dinner with Danni and Autumn. Several days have gone by since my incident with Jackson, and he hasn’t mentioned it once. I’m confused, but also somewhat relieved. For the last hour, Danni has provided a perfect distraction by talking about her recent experiences in bed with Chris.
Although the conversation is juicy, I find myself drowning it out, lost in thought. Tomorrow marks the first of my Chat Love dates, and I’m more nervous than I thought I’d be. I’m shaken from my thoughts when I hear Danni mention Jackson.
“You know, Jackson is also very attractive. I honestly wouldn’t mind seeing how he is in bed, too,” she says, giving Autumn a wink.
Halfheartedly, I respond, “You should go for it.”
Danni rolls her eyes, “Lu, the two of you were practically going at it on my wall. It’s obvious that you’re interested in him.”
Autumn’s eyes go wide and she looks at me, expecting answers. I’d purposely chosen to avoid telling her about what had happened at Danni’s party because I didn’t want to hear a lecture about how I should stay away from Jackson.
I roll my eyes. “Danni, you know that it was just the alcohol talking. We were drunk and lonely, nothing more. I wouldn’t ever get involved with that pig!”
Danni nods her head, “Fair enough. He and Chris are both notorious for avoiding commitment.”
Autumn grabs my arm, forcing me to turn and look at her.
“You should stay away from him, Lu,” she says, frowning. “You are looking for a relationship now, and the last thing you need is to be distracted by a man like that.”
Danni shrugs. “I disagree. I think Lu needs to get laid; it’ll loosen her up. Just go and have a one-time thing with Jackson to satisfy your curiosity. Then come and tell me if he is as good as he looks.”
I shove a piece of shrimp roll in my mouth, feeling my cheeks flush. “Can we please just talk about something else?” I ask.
Autumn takes over the conversation, going on a long tirade about her hatred for men and how she wishes she were a lesbian. Oddly enough, I can kind of understand her point.
The next evening, I am finishing getting ready for my first date with someone from Chat Love when my phone rings. I answer and hear my mother’s voice, announcing that yet another one of my cousins has just gotten engaged. As she continues talking about the announcement, I roll my eyes and turn up the volume on my TV, halfheartedly listening to the celebrity gossip being discussed on the screen. Suddenly, I hear my mother gasp, and she tells me to change the channel to the local news station immediately.
“Why, Mom? What’s wrong?” I ask.
“Lucia,” she exclaims, “just do it!”
As I change the channel, I’m met with a news report discussing a recent murder investigation.
“Lucia Pia,” I hear my mother say worriedly, “you are not doing any of that computer dating, right?”
I freeze in the middle of applying my mascara. “Why?”
“They just found this girl murdered and they think that it was someone she met on the computer. My baby, promise me you will not go on the computer and date anyone.”
I groan out, “Mom, how do you expect me to meet anyone?”
I hear shuffling on the other end of the line, and I suddenly hear my father’s voice. “Lucia, you are forbidden to go on the comput
er. You could die,” he says, placing dramatic emphasis on the second sentence. He continues, “You have to stop being picky and just find yourself a good Italian man. What ever happened with Tony’s nice friend?”
I moan, trying to convey my frustration without causing an argument. “Dad, I would rather stick a fork in my eye than go out on another date with Angelo.” I look at the clock and notice that it’s already five minutes past the time I had planned to leave. “Dad, Mom, I’m sorry, but I have to go. I love you guys, and I’ll talk to you later.”
A little while later, I walk into the bar, looking for Frank. Although I’d only seen him in pictures, I immediately recognize him standing at the bar with a beer in his hand. Frank is an attractive gynecologist with dark brown hair and eyes, and after having spoken with him on the phone, I’d decided that he seemed like a kind, respectable man, making him a good choice for my first date from Chat Love.
With a hop to my step I make my way over to where he’s standing. I stand behind him and I can smell his cologne. I take a deep breath and tap him lightly on the shoulder.
“Frank?”
He turns around with a smile but it disappears when his eyes fall on me. “I’m sorry, but do I know you?”
I chuckle. “It’s me, Frank. Pia?”
I’ve been using my middle name online to help keep my identity a secret, planning on only revealing my actual name if I find that I truly like the person once we meet face to face.
Frank’s eyes narrow and he says, “You don’t have blonde hair.”
I chuckle nervously. “It’s a long story, but my profile does say that I have brown hair, if you read the information page.”
“I don’t read profiles; I only look at the pictures,” he replies.
“Oh, well I’m sorry, but you can learn more about me tonight. I didn’t mean to mislead you or anything.”
He puts his hand up and chugs the rest of his beer. “Honestly, this is not going to work out. I only like blondes and I thought you were a blonde. Please delete my number from your phone and don’t contact me through Chat Love again, OK?”
He brushes past me and heads for the exit, leaving me standing there confused and hurt. My first date is an epic failure.
Tonight is Saturday night and I have another date from Chat Love. After last night’s disaster, I went straight home and changed into my pajamas, sitting on the couch with a depressed Autumn while we watched sappy movies and moaned about our romantic failures. Tonight, however, I’ve got a brand-new attitude, and I’m ready to get back up and try things again. After all, it couldn’t be any worse than last night’s date, right?
While trying to decide what to wear, I finally choose to wear the same dress I’d worn for last night’s terrible encounter. I’d barely worn it for an hour, and it fits me well, making me feel sexy and confident. After last night, I need all the extra confidence I can get. I leave Autumn on the couch again and head for my date, praying that it won’t be another disaster.
As I walk into the wine bar, looking for Alan, I focus on thinking positively. Judging by his pictures, he is a tall, handsome man with brown hair. I finally spot him standing by the bar, nervously scanning the room. The conversations I’d had with Alan were insightful ones, and I’d learned that he is a very intelligent man who had joined Chat Love after having been cheated on by his girlfriend. In many ways, he’d reminded me of Wayne.
Taking a deep breath, I approach him. “Alan?”
He turns around and gives me a big smile. “Pia? Wow, you look absolutely beautiful. Your picture doesn’t do you justice.”
So far so good.
An hour later, I’m sitting at a table and trying my best not to fall asleep. Alan is a very kind man, but he is also one of the most boring people I’ve ever met. There is no chemistry, and the date has been completely devoid of any sparks. The conversation has been pleasant, but it’s unbelievably dull. When I’d talked to Alan on the phone, I had assumed that he was simply a man who liked to discuss world politics, but I was now beginning to realize that he didn’t know what else to talk about.
“So did you vote Democrat or Republican?” Alan asks me.
“Democrat,” I answer curtly.
He rolls his eyes and starts giving me a speech about why it’s better to vote Republican. I can feel myself withering, and I fear that I’ll eventually just fall asleep without even realizing it. I glance at my cell phone and groan when I realize that I’ve already endured two hours of this nonsense. I wonder how much longer I’ll have to sit here and listen to his monotone rambling. For the rest of the date, I just sit and listen, smiling politely and commenting only when absolutely necessary. By the time the night is over, I feel as though five years of my life have passed. I kiss Alan on the cheek and thank him, knowing that we will never meet again.
The following week at work is a blur, helping to distract me from the disappointments of the previous weekend. In an attempt to be polite, I had e-mailed Alan through Chat Love, explaining to him that I think we’d be better off as friends. Within the hour, I’d received a reply informing me that I was a cold bitch. Alan had then proceeded to call me several times each day, but I’d refused to answer, which I feel was a reasonable response.
One day I was telling Skyler about my horrible dates when I spotted Jackson eavesdropping on the conversation and laughing at my horrible luck. This pissed me off more than it should have, and I am back to disliking him, once again. And as much as I hate to admit it, even at the peak of his rudeness, I can’t help but find him attractive. Damn that man.
It’s another Thursday night, and I have a date with someone new from Chat Love. His name is Sam and he works in finance. His pictures reveal that he is a very attractive man with brown, curly hair, big blue eyes, and gorgeous, tan skin. According to his profile, he is also very physically active, and I’ve seen dozens of pictures of him playing different sports.
I sit at the bar, waiting for him. Sam is already fifteen minutes late, which is not a good sign. I smooth out my shirt and take another sip from my glass of wine. I’m dressed more casually than on the previous two dates, this time wearing black skinny jeans with a blouse and blazer.
The restaurant doors open and I can feel a hint of the breeze rushing in from outside. I turn to see who’s come in and see Sam taking off his jacket in the entryway. Honestly, pictures don’t do him justice; he is very handsome. He sees me and gives me a big smile, revealing a set of straight, white teeth. I can already tell that tonight is going to be a good evening.
Later, I’m laughing hard as Sam tells me a story about a previous date he’d had with a woman from Chat Love.
“I won’t be rude, but let’s just say that she did not look like the person in her picture,” he says, motioning with his hands to indicate that she’d been significantly larger than he’d expected.
I hold my stomach and laugh more. We’ve been talking and laughing like this for almost two hours, and I’m having a great time. The conversation has flowed freely, covering a range of topics including both humorous and lighthearted stories and more serious issues such as past relationships. Sam is honest, polite, and a perfect distraction from any thoughts of Jackson that I might have.
He suddenly grabs my hand and looks into my eyes. “How do you feel about compliments?” he asks.
“What do you mean?”
He gives me a small smile. “I mean, how do you feel about someone complimenting you? Do you take compliments well, or do they make you uncomfortable?” I feel my face blushing and look down at my pasta. He squeezes my hand gently, and I look back at him.
“I’m only asking because I will be complimenting you often. I think that you’re beautiful.” I laugh nervously, not sure how to respond. He adds, “And I think that you have a cute laugh.”
I’ve taken a break from my date to visit the bathroom, and as I’m washing my hands I can’t help but smile at how well this date is going. Sam is handsome, sweet, charming, and intelligent, and I have no id
ea why he’s still single. As I exit the bathroom, my thoughts still on Sam, I bump into someone. I turn to apologize and suddenly find myself face to face with Alan.
He crosses his arms across his chest, standing tall and still, his eyes glaring from beneath a furrowed brow.
“So what does this guy have that I don’t?” he demands angrily. “You’re on a date, right?”
I take a step back, trying to distance myself from him. “How did you know I was going to be here?” I ask him, feeling very uncomfortable.
He takes a step closer to me. “Let me take you out again,” he says, ignoring my question.
A woman on her way to the bathroom walks by, pushing her way through our confrontation and providing me with a chance to escape back to my table. I’m glad to be back with Sam because the dangerous look I’d seen in Alan’s eyes had made me feel uneasy.
I quickly take a sip of my wine, my hand trembling ever so slightly. Sam grabs my hand, a concerned look on his face.
“Are you OK?” he asks. “You seem a little shaken up.”
I glance in the direction of the bathrooms and see Alan standing there, just staring at Sam and I. His presence gives me goose bumps. I turn my attention back to Sam, trying to ignore Alan and enjoy the rest of my date.
Hours later, Sam and I are still talking when our waiter politely reminds us that the restaurant will be closing soon. Alan is gone, although I missed seeing him leave, and the thought of him lurking somewhere nearby continues to tie my stomach in knots. Luckily, Sam is a perfect gentleman, and helps me hail a taxi, waiting by my side until I’m comfortably seated inside the cab. Although he wants to go out again the next night, I already have plans to celebrate Ian’s birthday with my friends, so I have to decline his dinner invitation. However, I did manage to get him to agree to come and join us for a bit at the bar, and I’m excited to introduce him to my friends. For some reason, I have a good feeling about this one; Sam is truly a great guy.
Chat Love Page 10