Chapter 19
Feeling Pink
Haylwen had finished packing quickly. She and Cadarn were used to it and hadn't really unpacked from the last move. They huddled behind the couch, facing each other on either side of the heating vent. This new apartment set up made it much easier to eavesdrop on their parents. Cadarn was reclining on his side, and Haylwen sat with her arms around her legs. She could hear their parents arguing as they packed up the office. The office was the first to be unpacked, and the last to be packed. Those stupid statues, so precious that only their parents could handle them, took the most time. Especially when there was more arguing than packing going on.
Abrennin was usually calm, but his voice was louder and had more emotion in it than usual. Crystyn was usually louder, but she was especially emotional today. Haylwen had no trouble hearing them.
The argument had started with boring things, like how expensive professional movers were, if they were going to need rent storage, things like that. Both kids perked up their ears as they started in on schooling.
“They can't go to school.” Their father had repeated that one twice, and Haylwen looked at her brother, who scowled. “Having their lives in danger is not acceptable.”
“So what, we bring in tutors?” Their mother dropped something heavy on the floor. “We can't afford them, and we can't trust adults anyway, right?”
“We can afford them if we really want,” their father said, “and we can trust some. But that is irrelevant. The things they need to learn are better taught by us.”
“We can't! We Swore. And it is too dangerous!” Their mother's voice was shrill, her going-to-lose-it-soon voice. They had been arguing for a while.
“We did, but it is too dangerous not to. I think I understand how we can, bound by our Oaths as we are.” Their father was trying to calm her down, and the rest of the words were too soft to really make out. Despite herself, Haylwen leaned in to hear better.
“But we can't! I tried, and couldn't. Watch!” Their mother's voice was loud. There was a pause, and a low humming. It abruptly stopped, followed by their mother barking, “See! Nothing.”
There was some more murmuring, so Haylwen leaned in again, straining to hear, but could only make out that their father said something, and then their mother. The next thing they heard came through clearly.
“I want you two in this office by the count of five.” It sounded like their father was talking directly into the vent. “If you are not both here, you will be grounded. No sense pretending. One. Two.” Haylwen looked at Cadarn and they scrambled up, hurrying and slinking at the same time. When they got to the door, they could hear “Five.” They knocked.
“Come.”
Cadarn opened the door slowly, and stepped in, Haylwen close behind. Their mother was sitting on the chair behind the desk, looking surprised to see them. Their father was leaning against the wall near the heating vent. He wasn't frowning, but wasn't smiling either. They both stopped just inside the door, looking from one parent to the other, then at their bare feet.
“That proves nothing,” their mother said. She had exchanged her surprise for determination, and had her arms crossed.
Their father nodded. “You are right, of course. Cadarn, would you please take your mother and show her that you have finished packing?”
He nodded, and walked out the door ahead of their mother. Haylwen watched her mother leave, throwing a look at her father before shutting the door.
Haylwen's eyes snapped back to her father as the door closed, and then over his head, to the bookshelf to the left of the desk. The top shelf had always had nothing but a few stupid statues of people in robes, “fragile fine art,” supposedly. Now, it was full of old books. Thick, with gold printing, leather-bound with several in matching sets, and other thin ones that were scattered amongst the matching ones. Had she not been in here since they moved? When did he get new books? She looked around for the statues but didn't see them.
Her father was watching her, and nodded. “I see you are wearing your necklace. We'll talk about that later. First, do you have the Wish Wand?”
Haylwen looked at him blankly.
“The stick, the ceramic tool,” he said.
She nodded and blushed.
It was his turn to look at her blankly. “May I see it?” he finally asked.
She blushed more, then quickly reached down the neck of her shirt with her right hand. She didn't catch her father's small smile as he turned his attention to making his way through the boxes to the open area in front of the door. She fiddled for just a second as it caught on her shirt before it came out. She held it out to him.
He looked at it, then shook his head slightly. “Probably better for me not to even touch it. Magic items become very involved with, and sensitive to, their users. You do well to hold it near to your heart, though. Did you think of that yourself?”
Haylwen nodded, just the slight residual of a blush remaining. “It seemed the safest place,” she said.
“It's the right place. It will come into seamless harmony with its user, align with his, or her, heart. There is a reason shirt pockets are put there, over your heart.”
Haylwen just stood there. Her father smiled broadly and continued.
“And I just taught you something, didn't I?” He seemed very excited by that rather simple statement. He was teaching them all the time, what was the big deal? She looked at the stick, the wish wand in her hand, and her father motioned for her to put it away. He turned to fiddle with something on the bookshelf as she did. As he fiddled, he muttered, “But that may not be proof enough for your mother. Let's see, something simple...”
“Inverse energy bubble,” Haylwen blurted out. She was about as surprised as her father, but got over it quicker.
“Great idea, but we need to start with a regular energy bubble,” her father said, turning to face her. He motioned for her to sit in his chair, which she quickly did. She loved sitting in his chair, and rarely got the chance. It was worn, but worn in such a way to be more comfortable, and had a sense, like a smell, of her father: solid, focused and calm.
He nodded. “The first thing is to find the calm place inside yourself, the place where your breath comes from. Take a second, close your eyes and just watch your breathing for a moment.”
Haylwen felt a little silly, but her father seemed so matter-of-fact about it. She closed her eyes and concentrated. After a moment, she felt there was something just outside her field of vision, a light she just barely saw, but that wasn’t what her father was talking about, so she kept looking. Finally, she found a spot just under her ribs that seemed right. She tried to watch her breath, and just when she thought she had it, she heard her father start talking again.
“Good. Keep your eyes closed. See that spot as a sphere of energy, a ball that you could hold in your hand.”
The light just outside her vision became stronger, seemed to shift to pinkish shades, like a late sunrise. Haylwen watched as the spot came into focus as a pink ball. It wouldn't stay a regular ball, though, and kept pulsing, growing and shrinking with her breath, changing shape.
“Perfect,” her father said. “Now imagine pulling it out, making it rest in your palm.”
Haylwen kept her eyes closed, and focused. The light just outside her vision grew stronger for a moment, then faded as she concentrated on willing the ball to move. She imagined the pulsing ball slide out toward her hand, and it moved. It seemed to take a while, like there was a long distance between it and her hand, which she instinctively moved as it emerged so she was gently cupping the pulsing ball. It seemed so real, she imagined she could feel her palm tingle under its pulsing.
“Excellent,” her father said, obviously not really talking to her. “That is an energy bubble.” She opened her eyes and gave a little gasp. She could really see the pink ball. She could feel her eyes widening, and the ball started to pulse more and fade in brightness.
“You see it?” Her father s
ounded surprised, but followed it immediately by saying, “Of course you do. But concentrate, what are you going to do with the bubble? How are you going to use it?”
She didn’t really know, so just focused on the sensations coming from her hand, adding to the picture of this pulsing ball, shimmering through shades of pink. She started to hear bits of music, as if from far away. Her father nodded. “Ok. That's great. Now, you just command it to do what you want. If you want to use it as a shield, you would say, Dadum, and pull it around yourself.”
Haylwen looked at him, and the ball, and didn't do anything. Shield? From what?
Her father laughed. “But you don't have to. This is great! Here, close your eyes, and just focus on the ball. What plans do you have for it?”
She closed her eyes, and could feel the energy ball tingle. As she sat there, she felt as if the ball was alive, as if it was trying to tell her something, and the music became stronger. She distantly heard her father open the door to leave, but was focused on this fascinating sensation that echoed in her hand. The music was captivating, and she started to hum the tune, trying to catch the melody.
She didn't even hear her father come back in, but did hear her mother gasp when she came in, and her eyes popped open just as Cadarn said, “What? What's going on?”
Haylwen looked up at them, and then redirected her attention at the bubble.
“Why are you holding your hand like that? What are you looking at?” Cadarn repeated, a little louder.
Their mother was still stunned, looking from Abrennin to Haylwen and back. Abrennin said nothing, just looked back at her.
“What is going on!” Cadarn yelled, stamping his foot.
Haylwen didn't know what had her do it, or if it was even her. Maybe it was something about the bubble itself. She watched as it grew in size a little, growing brighter. She lifted her hand, or felt it being lifted, to guide the bubble at Cadarn. She stopped humming. Both of her parents gasped, but only a moment before Cadarn was enveloped by the bubble. It had expanded as it left her hand, and was about the size of Cadarn's upper body when it hit him. It didn't pop or bounce, but seemed to sink into him, coloring his faded T-shirt pink for a moment. He gasped as the bubble disappeared. Then, he giggled. He stopped, then laughed, as big a laugh as Haylwen could ever remember her very serious older brother laughing.
He suddenly stopped, staring at their parents, who were still paralyzed with astonishment. He looked at Haylwen. “Ok, that was weird, but cool. Do it again?”
Haylwen looked at her parents questioningly, who nodded dumbly. She closed her eyes, started humming, and in a heartbeat had the bubble in her hand again. She opened her eyes, noticing this one was much bigger, and had much stronger tingles, and again floated it toward Cadarn.
It completely enveloped him, and as it touched him, he started laughing. He laughed uproariously for a few moments, even falling back to sit on a convenient stack of boxes. Haylwen couldn't help but giggle along with him, and even her parents were smiling. When the laughter had finally petered out, Cadarn gave a great sigh, wiping a few tears from his eyes. “Whew!” he said. He just sat there, grinning.
Their father looked at their mother, as if he had just finished saying something. She looked scared, but said nothing. Then she seemed to decide, put on her no-nonsense face, and nodded. Abrennin looked at Haylwen and Cadarn, and back at their mother. “Your turn,” he said, and motioned for Haylwen to follow him. She started to ask him questions as they left the office.
“What happened? Why did you and Mom look so surprised?”
Her father led her to her room, closed the door, and sat down. She remained standing.
“That,” he said, “was a positive energy bubble. They are a very strong defense against negative attack, and often people will encase themselves in one. I can’t remember ever reading about one being used like that. What gave you the idea to throw it at your brother?”
She shrugged. “I didn't throw it. It was like the bubble just needed to know where to go, like it wanted to go somewhere.”
Her father looked at her, and nodded slowly. “And that might explain why you didn't use the usual kotodama, I mean, command word, either.”
She just shrugged again.
“So why did you and Mom seem so surprised?”
Her father sat back, then motioned for her to sit. He took on his lecturing tone, but this time Haylwen was actually interested in listening.
“It is a very long story, but the short of it was your mother and I were forced to give up our ability to teach others how to use magic.” Use magic. Magic? Her eyebrows shot up. This was magic. She knew it, but to just say it out loud seemed to make it complete, normal. He noted her look, and nodded. “Yes, magic. But it takes a lot of work and training to be able to use it.” He paused, then smiled, somewhat proudly. “You seem to be a natural. Regardless, with it comes responsibility. You could hurt others, burn out, or really hurt yourself if you are careless.”
“What's burn out?” Haylwen interrupted. She could already imagine how you could hurt yourself or someone else.
“Burn out is where you try to do something, like something too big or too hard too fast, and you lose the ability to use magic. Forever.”
Haylwen had lived most of her life without magic, had just learned about it, but the thought of having it taken away was gut-clenching.
“It takes discipline, training, and practice to be a magic user. Tradition held that parents would teach their children, generation to generation. Some very wealthy would bring in tutors, but that was uncommon. I was a tutor when I met your mother,” her father continued.
His shoulders sagged, and he took off his glasses to rub his eyes. “Things happened, and I was too blind to see what was going on before it was too late. I was forced to choose between your mother and teaching. Teaching ever again.” He looked at Haylwen, and smiled, a sad sort of smile. “I loved teaching, but there was no choice. I was forced to swear a magical Oath, very literally disabling me to pass along the training. And, by extension, to use much magic at all.”
“So how did you teach me?”
“Well, I shouldn't be able to do it. I can only guess that because magic is oriented along energetic plenaries, each at its own frequency, there is a disconnect between your learning and my teaching, somehow. Male and female energy is different enough so that it’s impossible for women to use male energy and vice versa, and therefore impossible for men to teach women to use magic, and vice versa.”
“So I did the impossible,” she joked. Haylwen was feeling oddly playful. Maybe it was the energy?
He laughed. “Impossible as I was taught, anyway. I Swore as they made me, but I guess the Oath was specific about teaching any more males. I don't know, it might just be you.” He got a far-off look in his eyes, but was at the same time very excited. “Maybe being able to see the energies helped you. Being able to see the energies usually takes a lot of training, and most women can’t ever learn. Your mother can, though; maybe she passed it along? A Necklace of Vision shouldn’t really make any difference to that, however... Or maybe it was the Wish Wand? They are so rare and their traits are not well documented… but it shouldn’t matter either. Not to mention, you shouldn't have been able to use your energy bubble without the right kotodama.”
Haylwen's head was spinning. She wasn’t really hearing the words her father was saying, just letting them wash over her. He seemed to be talking very quickly. As her father went on, Haylwen thought that she couldn’t remember the last time he looked this… well… young. He seemed excited, sitting on the edge of his seat, and unburdened, as if a huge weight was off of his shoulders.
He suddenly stopped talking, and seemed as if he heard or felt something. “But it's time to go see how your mother and brother are doing.”
He got up, standing in front of Haylwen. She got up, and surprising them both, gave her father a hug. They stood there for a moment, before a yell and a crash had them hustle to the off
ice.
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