“Honey, we’re not talking about tomorrow or the coming days right now. I’m coming back to you. Don’t forget that.”
“Okay,” she said, leaning up to kiss him as she caressed his back before he moved away.
Kneeling, he reached for a condom on the table then went to turn the water off before it ran over. He returned to the bed and put it on. “I’ve been waiting for you forever.” Dane stretched out on top of her, his knee spreading her legs. “I want you badly, all of you. I don’t want to leave you, but I have to—”
She pulled him down to kiss him and her fingers wrapped around the back of his head. “Make love to me all night long. Be wild and uncontrollable.” The feeling of gladness and fulfillment enveloped her body. She moved slowly with him in a perfect rhythm that increased as their breathing deepened, making her screech with desire.
The passion between them was idyllic, unrushed at the moment, beautiful. Her body and mind floated on a wave of bliss. This man hadn’t appeared to her by accident. Their mental and physical connection sang like a melody.
Gracelyn put her leg atop his thigh, enjoying the overwhelming excitement bursting open inside of her. Unable to hold it inside, it burst forth in not one but two outbursts of verbal passion. “My God. I love you.”
Dane paused. “Holy hell, you’re fantastic.” He leaned on his elbows, panting, kissing the side of her neck as he reeled in his own zenith until he came down. “You blew me to forever-land.” Rolling partially to his side, his arm across her midriff, he whispered, “I’ll miss you, girl.”
“It’ll be so hard to take…to get by alone when this is so new. We’ll be in contact with each other.” A tear wanted to fall, but she drove it back. Gulping, she whispered, “I’m sorry. As much as I don’t want to dwell on the coming months, and the day you leave, I can’t help it. I’ll try.”
“Listen. My mom always says the bad times only make the easy times better. This will be hard for a little while, but then before we know it, it’ll be a memory we’ll talk about.” He kissed her. “Just like tonight.” Propping himself on his elbow, he used his fingertips to draw figure eights over her abdomen. “When we talk while I’m over there, we’ll reflect back on this moment. Remember the desire—the, the…climax. I won’t be gone forever.”
She grasped his upper arm. “You don’t know that.” Why did I say that? She wanted to be confident. Strong. But it was true. She didn’t know. He didn’t know. No one did. Please God bring him back. Dammit, she had to get past this.
Dane turned her face until she looked at him. “Don’t say that again. I’m coming back. Whatever the hell this is, it’s supposed to be.” He searched her eyes. “Tell me you won’t forget.”
“Okay, I won’t forget how you feel…right now.”
“Not only right now. Tell me you won’t forget I said those words. If I say it—”
“You’ll do it? I won’t forget.” She caressed his smooth jawline. “Kiss me. Kiss me good, soldier.”
“Good is the only way I know…” Dane lowered his body over hers again. “I’m about to kiss you real good, and then I’m making love to you again…and again with shameless craziness.”
“And again,” she whispered. She closed her eyes and faded into his kisses.
***
The morning had dragged by with a thick cloud of remorse hanging from the ceiling, and led up to this moment. They stood amongst the camouflaged crowd, and Dane hugged her with all the strength he could call up without squeezing her to death. He peered into her eyes and saw a future he had never dreamed of before.
She poked him in the chest. “Don’t you forget that I’ll be here, waiting. You’re coming back.”
Dane grasped her hand and observed the crowd of soldiers—all the troops saying good-bye. As much as he hated to admit it, some of them for the last time, but statistics didn’t lie. He pulled her closer. “I won’t hold it against you if you can’t wait.”
She held him tight…and even tighter the longer they waited. “It’s my choice to wait and I choose this. I don’t see it being any other way for us.”
“Fair enough. I have to agree.” Everything about this felt right except him trying to get past the idea that she’d be worrying. It is what it is. Accept it. He closed his eyes, and for a minute he only held her and faced the reality of his job. Lines formed as they stood outside. The buses waited with their diesel engines rumbling. Time here ran down. It had never been this hard for him to leave. There was so much more to say to each other.
She placed her hands on his face. “I-I’ll miss you.” Tears welled in her eyes.
“No, no, girl, don’t cry.” Dane wiped her tears and soldiered up—stood tall, set his jaw firm, and concentrated on what had to be done. He kissed her eyes, her face, her lips and he’d kiss a lot more if he wasn’t standing here.
“I’m sorry, I know my tears make it harder for you, and I tried not to cry.” Her shoulders rose and fell with her sobs. “I can’t help it. Thank you for letting me be here.”
Dane swallowed a sad gulp. “I’m glad you’re here. Please know, I look forward to getting to know so much more about you in the coming months. Don’t forget to write, email, webcam…you know, whatever.”
“Oh, silly, all of the above. There’ll be no forgetting.” Though her sniffles faded, she held him tighter as he tried to pull away.
“I have to go.” Never in his career had he expected this. Never. She held on to him tighter and longer than his mom did. With his throat constricting with each sentence, he spat out, “It’s time. You have to let me go now.”
“No—”
“Don’t do this, please.” God, no, don’t do this. His heart pounded against his interior wall. “Give me a kiss.” He clenched her hair up into his hand and leaned forward, his lips a thread away from hers. “Kiss me, baby, and say farewell—until we meet again, like in the movies.” He smiled to cover the sorrow he felt at leaving her then pressed his lips against hers.
Gracelyn held him prisoner. Tears ran down her cheeks while kissing him until he pulled back to stop it. Still weeping, she squared her shoulders. “Farewell, Dane. Until we meet again.”
“That’s my girl.” He held her an arm’s length, then winked. “Until we meet again. Take care of you.”
Gracelyn tilted her head. “Don’t go…yet.”
Dane closed his eyes a moment and stuck the look on her face right now into his memory. Holding her a minute longer, he nodded, turned, and walked away to join the others while a lump stuck in his throat like a grenade ready to explode with emotion. Is this what being in love feels like? He took a quick glance to the crowd. Mostly sad faces with tears, young mothers with babies and others pregnant. Kids of all ages waited. Mothers who hated to see their adult child leave, which is why he wouldn’t allow his mother to be here.
Maybe it was wrong and she should’ve been. Damn, she should’ve been here. Dane removed his phone from his pocket to call home. “Mom? I’m getting ready to go. I only have a minute. You were right. You should’ve been here. Next time y’all will be here.”
Judy wept. “Honey, be safe. We love you. Take care of yourself.”
It hurt that sadness ruled her words. “I’m sorry. This was selfish on my part.” Dane glanced around as he talked. Dare he look for her in the crowd?
“It’s okay, son. We had our farewells. The boys and I understand why.”
“I hope so.” Glancing around, Dane noticed everyone lined up now. No one left on the sidelines except the families “Time to get going. We’re lined up right now. Remember? You can picture that, right?”
“Yes, Dane, honey.” Her sniffle tore at his heart. “I remember. Let me know when you get there if you can.”
“Of course. I have to go now. Give everybody another hug.” Dane closed his eyes. “I love you all. I’ll be in touch. Take care. C’ya.” He couldn’t hang up soon enough, yet he didn’t want to. This is the part he hated. What if his family never got to see him again? He shook
his head. None of that shit. That inkling of fear always hit him about now. It would pass.
Scanning the crowd, he spotted Gracelyn. Wearing jeans and his t-shirt with ARMY across the front, she waved. Smiled. Blew him a kiss. His throat caught along with the pain in his heart. He managed to give her a wink before coming to attention and he faced forward again. She wore the look he wanted in his memory to sustain him. The gigantic flag flying told him why he was here…and why he’d leave. He stood straight and proud with a bag at his feet and his gun on his shoulder.
Hooah.
The past two days with her were unbelievable. It wasn’t about the outstanding sex, but more about her—the person, and the peaceful and exciting feelings inside his own body at being near her. And how they held each other all night long. He could very well be in love with her, or he had since the moment she walked into the airport bar. Yes. It was then. He hadn’t forgotten wanting to blurt out I love you during lovemaking two nights ago. Why fight it? It should’ve been verbalized.
As much as he wanted to take one more glance at her, he didn’t. He couldn’t take seeing tears in her eyes again. He held his rifle tight and put one foot in front of the other. RLTW. Kicking it into focus, he made his feet march forward. Sua Sponte. Of our own accord. Here we come.
Chapter 6
Dane acknowledged First Sergeant Ford when he stood at the door. It was time to get details for the mission. He stood at the side of his bed and told her, “I have to go, I’m being called. We’ll talk later and you can fill me in.”
“Do you have to go so soon? There’s so much more to say.” She placed her hand on the screen.
“Right now. I gotta go.” He placed two fingers on the phone screen where she had her hand. “I’ll talk to you soon. Remember what we talked about. Got it?”
“I understand. I love you, babe.”
Tears filled her eyes and this is the part he hated about their eye to eye communications. “I’m falling more in love with you every day, baby. Take care of yourself.” Dane disconnected and rushed out the door to a meeting he couldn’t be late for, yet he was anyway and he hated to be late.
***
The next morning, he gathered supplies for a mission then he sat on his bed to read her last letter. Multiple missions behind them now, Dane prepared for another big one. Last night when they talked via their webcam she had cried, and was about to tell him something before he’d been called away—the second time that happened.
Dane held her picture. Girl, you do something to me that’s never been done. He turned his back to the guys in the room who probably did the same thing—wrote what could be a final letter. Sweat beaded on his forehead. Wind waved the flaps on the tent as he got it straight in his head what to say. His instincts remained on high alert, but he had to do this before heading out. He looked forward to each and every one of her letters. Hundreds of them now—upbeat, exciting, sexy, and loving. He read parts of this one maybe five times:
Dear soldier boy, my Dane,
Do you know how special your letters are to me? I hold each new one against my heart when I go to bed, and the box with the others are next to my pillow. Every day I pray for you and the others. You say you’re falling in love with me. Of course, you know I already fell. That I love you. I need you, and I know that day will come when this is over. For now, I miss you so much.
I prepare and wait for the day I can run into your arms like I see on the TV news all the time. I can’t wait to be that girl and to have your arms around me again. Your kisses upon my neck, lips, and everywhere else on my body you like to put them. I’m excited. I love you. Until the next time, please keep these words close in your heart as a shield. Remember, I love you, soldier.
Hugs and sexy kisses.
Gracelyn
He took out a piece of paper and began a letter to her. He texted her a tentative time to chat in a couple days, hoping she’d read between the lines and know he’d headed out. But this time he didn’t say he was falling in love with her. He wrote it out in capital letters.
I LOVE YOU. I fell, too. Yes, I did a long time ago, but I was too stubborn to let it out. The first night probably. It’s finally time for me to say I LOVE YOU because I’ve been saying it to myself for too long. About you wanting to talk more last night—so did I, but we’ll catch up next time. Sorry I had to cut it short again.
Until we meet again, Dane.
He sealed it, but he had forgotten to mention something his mother wanted him to do, so he wrote another note.
Dear Gracelyn,
I forgot to tell you something in my last letter. Maybe you’ll get this one first, since I’ll be mailing them on the same day. Go see my family. I haven’t given them details, like where you work. Please, if you get a chance, my mom would love to meet you. Yes, she told me that, and I feel the ground shaking from her jumping up and down.
Call her and take a ride one day to the Double Dutch Ranch over in Canyon Junction to introduce yourself. If they knew you worked where you do, they’d be visiting. That’s how they are. You’ll see. Trust me, my family is thrilled to know I have you. Oh, did I mention that I love you? That’s supposed to be funny, since I told you in my last letter. Love you, girl. Now, I gotta grab my gun and get my boots on. Not in that order. Haha. Me being funny again. I miss you. I love you.
Dane
Dane sent a text so it’d be waiting for her when she turned her phone on, and he ended it with a big I Love You.
***
He sealed up the second letter and stopped to mail them on the way to meet his team. They finalized the details for the mission. They’d be dropping out of a bird near the scene, then they’d be in and out. Rehearsed enough times to make it real. Except this one would be done in the daylight without the cloak of darkness. Captain Marshall directed him to prepare his men.
Dane rattled off a bunch of questions to make sure they had everything down, patted each one on the back, and sent them on their way. He followed them to the helicopter, praying they’d all come back. No one spoke as they lifted off. He sat quiet on the edge, automatic rifle at the ready, his foot dangling over the side as he studied the mission in his minds-eye without removing his gaze from the ground.
The door gunner laid on the trigger when they were fired upon… The bird shook and banked to the right to avoid the hit from a rocket launcher on the ground. “Everybody okay?” Dane asked, as he tightened his grip on his rifle. The captain told the pilot to use a clearing a half mile away from one of the mud-brick buildings they’d hold up in. Damn, I hate when plans change.
With their bird low to the ground, Dane with six guys and one dog jumped out, bent low, avoiding the vicious prop wash as they ventured toward cover. He instructed his guys to head to the west to set up a perimeter near the building at the end of the road to take stock of the situation around them. Men in the second bird came around the other way. This wasn’t where they wanted to be put down. Too far away from their target, but they deviated from the original plan of going down the ropes, when they were fired upon. They eased up to the building and covered one another as they searched inside the shadowed rooms—their red laser dots speckling the walls as they went along.
Once they secured the building, Captain Marshall said, “Can you see where they’re firing from that hill, Sergeant Carlson?”
“Roger that. I got a bead on their location. Let’s go get the other bastards.” Two rounds was all it took. “There you go.”
Captain Marshall nodded. “Roger that. Get the other sons a bitches. I’m heading for the building across the way to set up an operating point.” Captain Marshall covered the four who went before him. Dane and Corporal Hanson covered him.
Dane issued the order to Corporal Hanson, “Your turn, Coop. Take the dog and go around to the east. Come in from that end.” He fired off a round. “I got your back. Go time. Go. Go. Go.”
Corporal Hanson and his German Shepherd made their way out the door but immediately hit the ground, yelling o
ver his shoulder at Dane… “Incoming. Sergeant, get out…”
After the first explosion, Dane got hit low in his abdomen, tripping and stumbling backward. He fell a few feet away from the door… “Sonofa…bitch…” The next big blast brought the front walls down on top of him.
***
He came to with a foggy head, but the sound of gunfire brought him to reality. Someone keyed up their radio, calling out latitude and longitude coordinates for close air support to clear the area. Shaking his head to rid the blur, he tried to figure out why his right arm was numb—and man-o-man, his gut smoldered from the inside out. Something pulled on his leg at the ankle. The growl told him immediately. Why?
Sonofabitch, my belly hurts like hell. He scurried to sit upright but couldn’t. His arm was pinned. Nothing but dust and debris was scattered around him. Powdery grit coated his lips and filled his mouth. Sand exploded around them with each grenade launch. The pain in his gut heightened when he breathed in. A scratching sound. Digging. “We’re trying to get you out. Stop fighting, Sarg. Dustoff inbound. They’ll get you to the trauma care center.”
“Get your dog off me. What the fuck you doin’? I got enough problems here.” The tan and black shepherd shook and pulled his leg like a rag doll.
“Saving your life. Your leg’s pinned, too, but coming free. You’ve been hit.”
Roger that. The voice sounded like Corporal Hanson. Dane lifted his left arm that had lain across his midriff. It was covered with blood. He raised his head to see his abdomen. Covered in blood there, too. Then he remembered the explosion. His breath caught as pain riddled his body. Sonofabitch, he hurt like hell. “Damn, I’m dizzy.” He touched around his abdomen. A pressure bandage controlled the bleeding now. He shook his head again, still in a fog. “My right arms pinned under the rubble up here. It ain’t budging. What happened?”
Of The Cowboy's Own Accord (Double Dutch Ranch; Love At First Sight #3) Page 6