by Ian Doescher
OBI-WAN
—Canst hear me, R2? Fie!
[R2-D2 puts the comlink inside himself to muffle the sound.
S. DROID 1
’Tis naught of interest—back to thy work!
OBI-WAN
Pray activate three-one-one-seven-four.
[A part of the lift’s ceiling falls after being cut by Anakin’s lightsaber. He leaps on top of the lift.
ANAKIN
Thus am I out, and in the shaft may find
New possibilities for our escape.
OBI-WAN
[aside:] The youth is ever on the move, ’tis true.
[Into comlink:] R2, canst thou hear me? Pray, activate—
[R2-D2 plugs into the ship’s computer, and Obi-Wan’s lift begins to fall.
ANAKIN
I leap unto a ledge in time, but O—
My Master falleth in the metal lift.
OBI-WAN
R2, stop now! I need not down, but up!
R2-D2
[aside:] My clumsy circuits—Master, pray forgive!
S. DROID 1
Oi there! Thou tiny droid, what is’t thou dost?
R2-D2
[aside:] I must make haste, before these giant droids
Do make defeat of little R2’s life.
[The elevator stops suddenly and changes direction.
OBI-WAN
I’ll warrant that my guts another shift—
Of up and down or down and up again—
Shall not endure without some vital cost.
In short: I shall be sick if this doth last.
[Into comlink:] Well done, R2, thou hast it turn’d aright.
[R2-D2 is seized by Super Battle Droid 2.
R2-D2
Beep, squeak! [Aside:] My deed is done, but woe is me!
S. DROID 2
Thou foolish, naughty, ill-constructed droid!
Enter BATTLE DROIDS at the shaft door, where ANAKIN SKYWALKER hangs.
DROID 4
Your hands aloft be rais’d, you Jedi Knight.
[The battle droids realize that the lift is coming toward them.
ANAKIN
Your timing hits the mark, good Obi-Wan.
DROID 5
Our triumph turns to terror—so, farewell!
[As the lift passes by, the battle droids are crushed, and Anakin jumps inside with Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan brandishes his lightsaber.
OBI-WAN
What’s this, mine enemy? O, anakin,
’Tis well to see thee—thou art not some foe.
I shall put my blue-lighted friend away.
ANAKIN
Indeed, good Master, stow your lightsaber,
Lest one is injur’d by this friend of yours—
Do not, when you are scared, turn on your friend.
OBI-WAN
No; thou shalt.
ANAKIN
—What hath so unnerv’d you, sir?
OBI-WAN
R2 hath—
ANAKIN
—Prithee, keep your loose-wire japes
Unto yourself, my Master.
OBI-WAN
—Spoke I aught?
ANAKIN
The droid doth verily try best he can.
OBI-WAN
I said naught. Yet thy words are true: the droid
Is sometimes very trying.
[On the balcony, R2-D2 sprays oil into Super Battle Droid 1’s eyes.
S. DROID 1
—O, mine eyes!
Thou wretched, impish droid, I’ll see thee scrap.
R2-D2
[aside:] The oil was but the prelude to my tricks,
Feel ye my rockets as they fuel the flame.
S. DROID 2
Undone by such an astromech? For shame!
[R2-D2 engages his rockets, burning the oil below him and setting the two super battle droids aflame, destroying them. Exit R2-D2.
ANAKIN
We have arriv’d—the upper chamber’s here.
OBI-WAN
If Palpatine hath set his signal right,
We shall discover him beyond these doors.
[Exeunt Obi-Wan and Anakin.
Enter RUMOR.
RUMOR
The players are in place, regard our scene:
Here Rumor shall begin her trickery.
E’en as the Jedi draw to Palpatine,
Forsooth, they’ll meet a well-known enemy.
Anon Count Dooku comes, with prideful nerve,
Look on as he doth enter in the fray.
Lo, as they fight, the chancellor observe—
Behold his true intentions on display:
E’er posing as a friend to calm and peace,
Great evil, by his cunning, doth he plot.
Indeed, this Palpatine shall never cease,
Not till he hath a mighty empire wrought.
Now watch as Palpatine, through words, doth lead
E’en such a one as Anakin t’ward hate:
To satisfy his vile, insatiate greed,
He knits the threads of Anakin’s dark fate.
[Exit Rumor.
Enter OBI-WAN KENOBI and ANAKIN SKYWALKER. Enter CHANCELLOR PALPATINE severally, in chains.
ANAKIN
None here—this rescue hath too much of ease.
OBI-WAN
Brave Chancellor, the Council hath sent us.
ANAKIN
Say, are you well? Hath some foul injury
Befallen your esteem’d and noble self?
PALPATINE
I’m well, but lo: Count Dooku comes anon.
Enter COUNT DOOKU.
OBI-WAN
This time, young Anakin, let us attack
As one, and not be led by passions hot,
Which did embroil thee last time in their snare.
If thou dost need a reason, look no more
Than to thine hand, which paid the costly price
For all thy rage and disposition fierce.
ANAKIN
Wise Master, you have ta’en the words from mine
Own mouth—let us coordinate this strike
Together, that we may Count Dooku thwart.
PALPATINE
Call ye for help, you two are not his match;
This evil man’s a dark lord of the Sith.
OBI-WAN
With due respect, O, Chancellor, Sith Lords
The keenest object of our study are.
We two are specialists in their domain,
And shall our education put to use
As we do vanquish this one by the book.
DOOKU
You are no teacher, Obi-Wan, and so
A lesson unto you I’ll gladly teach.
Give me your sabers, else you shall be school’d.
We would not have your quick tutorial
End in some mess the chancellor must see.
OBI-WAN
You are outclass’d this time, Count Dooku, and
Shall not escape th’instruction we shall give.
DOOKU
Then let the seminar begin, and we
Shall see which pupil stands when all is done.
I’ faith, I have look’d forward to this fight.
[They duel.
ANAKIN
My powers have grown double since we last
Did meet upon the Geonosian tow’rs.
DOOKU
’Tis well, impulsive, brash young Anakin:
When pride is doubl’d, twice the fall doth follow.
PALPATINE
[aside:] The fools do fight, and both fight for my cause,
Though none do know the double game I play.
Whoe’er the victor is, ’tis I who win.
[They duel again. Count Dooku uses the Force to push Obi-Wan aside, and he falls, unconscious.
DOOKU
Thus falls Kenobi—yet I shall ensure
That there, upon the floor, he will remain.
[Count Dooku uses the Force to bring down a platform upon Obi-W
an. Anakin and Count Dooku duel.
DOOKU
I sense a fear profound in thee, Skywalker.
You have much hate and anger, yet employ
Them not. Shall they turn thee to coward, boy?
ANAKIN
Cowards die many times before their deaths;
The Jedi never taste of death but once.
So you shall know the taste of all my wrath,
As I do claim the vengeance due my Master.
DOOKU
[aside:] Alack! His skill doth press me all too close,
Such strength in this one I expected not.
[They duel. Anakin cuts off Count Dooku’s hands.
Count Dooku kneels before Anakin.
ANAKIN
Ha! It is done; the class may be dismiss’d.
PALPATINE
’Tis well, young Anakin. Now kill the man.
DOOKU
[aside:] O, word most bitter to my frighten’d ears:
My Master here doth utter “kill the man”?
He who, with me, hath plann’d such base-born deeds
As would, in time, confound a galaxy?
Is “kill the man” his proclamation sole
For he who gave such solid loyalty?
Do I espy my poor, untimely grave,
With epitaph that readeth “kill the man”?
I look unto this boy, this Anakin—
Nay, not a boy but truly, here, a man—
Hast thou no mercy left within thine heart?
Dost thou not know what ’tis to witness death,
To be the very instrument of death?
Is there no word of kindness thou canst speak,
Good Anakin, that is not “kill the man”?
PALPATINE
Aye, kill him now.
ANAKIN
—I should not do this deed.
PALPATINE
I say the word, and thou must do it, lad!
[Anakin beheads Count Dooku.
ANAKIN
What have I done? Was this a Jedi’s act?
Did rage or justice mark my movements here?
PALPATINE
Thou didst aright, courageous Anakin:
The man was all too dangerous to live.
ANAKIN
Forsooth, yet he was also prisoner—
Unarm’d at that. Unhanded, too, by me.
Already I regret I acted so,
’Tis not the Jedi way, the way I seek.
PALPATINE
’Tis but the call of nature in thine heart:
He did unarm thee once; thou didst demand
A valid recompense for what he ow’d.
If reasons such as these give neither balm
Nor succor to thy soul, do thou recall:
’Twas not the first time thou hast sought revenge.
Remember what thou didst relate to me
About thy visit to the sand people,
How thou didst slay their settlement entire
For to avenge thy mother innocent.
Now, let us hence before more droids arrive.
[Anakin runs to where Obi-Wan is fallen.
ANAKIN
I shall assistance give to Obi-Wan,
Who surely will be kill’d if we desert
Him here among these cruel, inhuman foes.
PALPATINE
There is no time for sentiment as this—
If thou wouldst rescue me, he must be left.
We two must flee the ship ere ’tis too late.
ANAKIN
The spirit’s still within him: he shall live.
PALPATINE
Leave him, else we shall never make escape.
ANAKIN
His fate and ours shall be entwin’d as one.
Come, Master, these two arms shall bear you hence,
As you, these many years, did bear with me.
[Anakin lifts Obi-Wan onto his back.
Exeunt Obi-Wan, Anakin, and Palpatine.
Enter GENERAL GRIEVOUS, his CAPTAIN, and a BATTLE DROID, on balcony.
GRIEVOUS
Prepare for this attack, we are besieg’d!
CAPTAIN
All batteries, pray fire, or else we die!
Enter ANAKIN SKYWALKER, carrying OBI-WAN KENOBI, and CHANCELLOR PALPATINE as they approach the lift.
ANAKIN
The lift hath once more fail’d us. R2, hear:
Make active now the lift three-two-two-four.
[The ship is struck by a blast and begins to fall out of alignment.
Alas, the ship is hit and gravity
Doth turn upon its axis so what’s down
Is side and side is down and up is side—
Whatever this may mean, one thing is true:
The ground whereon we stood becomes a wall,
And no floor catches us; therefore, we fall.
Yet one hope doth remain—the lift itself!
Inside its shaft of steel we may be safe.
[Anakin, carrying Obi-Wan, and Palpatine crawl into the shaft.
CAPTAIN
Reverse anon the stabilizers, droid!
DROID 6
Reversing, sir—I shall do as you say!
GRIEVOUS
Fire thou the booster engines, sirrah—now!
DROID 6
Your brave command hath done it, General;
The ship is leveling itself aright.
ANAKIN
Alas, the shaft that was our only respite
Becomes a shaft for yet another fall
Whilst this vast ship doth set its proper course.
We fall, and yet here is a wire to clutch—
Pray, hold me fast, my noble Chancellor,
And I your rescue shall make good in time.
PALPATINE
Well done, brave lad! Thou hast sav’d me again.
OBI-WAN
[coming to:] Fie! Where are we, and how have we arriv’d?
ANAKIN
’Tis but a minor situation, sir,
Yet not beyond my pow’r of strength and wit.
OBI-WAN
What have I miss’d—and what comes overhead?
[The lift approaches them from above.
ANAKIN
R2, shut down the lift at once, kind droid.
OBI-WAN
Too late—we leap!
PALPATINE
[aside:] —’Tis more than I’d endure,
Except this fall may raise me up at last.
ANAKIN
We fall a third time, hurtling through the shaft.
The cord about my waist, with grappling hook,
Is yet another rope whereon I tie
My fervent hopes that we shall still succeed.
OBI-WAN
Mine shall be so, as well. Throw, for our lives!
[Obi-Wan and Anakin throw their hooks, which wrap around a pipe. They swing through the shaft door into a hallway.
ANAKIN
Methinks all’s well—that might have ended worse.
OBI-WAN
Dost thou suppose within the hangar’s aught
That still may fly and bear us as we flee?
ANAKIN
We shall discover it, if so. Let’s hence!
[They begin running toward the hangar.
DROID 6
My General, we have the Jedi found.
They run e’en now through hallway three-two-eight.
GRIEVOUS
Then activate the ray shields, which shall halt
Their progress as they capture Palpatine.
Bring them before me when they have been ta’en.
[Exeunt General Grievous, captain, and battle droid. Ray shields appear around Obi-Wan, Anakin and Palpatine.
ANAKIN
We are undone, these shields of ray are strong.
OBI-WAN
Fie! Wherefore hath this situation come
To such an end—are we not wiser men?
Could we not think our way beyond this ship
?
Could we not overcome these droids’ deceits?
ANAKIN
If circumstance would tell the story, nay.
We must have patience—so you oft have said.
OBI-WAN
There never was a Jedi Master could
Endure the toothache patiently, my friend.
ANAKIN
I’ll warrant R2 shall release us three,
And we shall be deliver’d presently.
Enter R2-D2, aside.
R2-D2
[aside:] O, would that I my story could relate
Unto these humans, for with tender ear
They’d hear my tragic tale and share my pain.
I have endur’d such knocks and shocks as would
Make swift defeat of some bulk cruiser, to
Say naught of me, a little, fragile droid.
First bullied by the super battle droids,
And forc’d to burn them to a greasy pulp.
Then batter’d when the ship did take a turn,
The floor a’slipping out from mine own wheels.
When all was done, where was poor R2, eh?
Within a pile of scrap, and worse for wear.
Now, weary, bruis’d, unhappy, and abus’d
I come to heed my Masters’ call again.
[To Anakin:] Beep, meep, beep, squeak?
ANAKIN
—’Tis as I said.
All’s well.
Enter several BATTLE DROIDS, SUPER BATTLE DROIDS, and DROIDEKAS.
R2-D2
Beep, meep!
[R2-D2 shocks a super battle droid.
S. DROID 3
—Thou wicked brute, I’ll give thee answer.