by Sara Mack
He finally responds. “Sometimes things fail.”
His tone makes me wonder if he wants me to be pregnant. “Are you disappointed?”
“Yes.”
My mouth falls open. “What?”
“Why were you with Caleb?” He clips his words. “Why is he there?”
So that’s what he’s disappointed about. “I wasn’t with him,” I explain. “I had no idea he was here until he pulled me aside and asked me not to bring up the past to Dean. He’s worried you’re filling my head and I’m sharing the details. I told him you weren’t and I wasn’t.”
“I don’t like him talking to you,” Latson says. “I don’t want him anywhere near you.”
I want to tell him I can hold my own, but instead I say, “I’ll try to avoid him, but I never know when he’s going to be around. He seems determined to sign Dean.”
“I’m sure he is,” Latson snaps.
I wonder why Caleb wants Dean so badly, but I don’t ask. Latson’s agitated enough for one night. I wish he were here, so we could get lost in each other and forget the outside world.
“I’ll make sure Heidi’s taken care of,” Latson interrupts my thoughts. “I meant what I said before. I can get her kicked off the tour, and I will. There’s no reason for her to mess with you like this.”
“I think Dean may have beat you to it,” I say. “He went to find her.” I’m quiet before I add, “She’s in love with you, you know. That’s why she acts the way she does. She wants you.”
Latson scoffs. “Her actions aren’t love. They’re infatuation and greed.”
I can imagine her reaction when she’s forced to go home. If she’s kicked off the tour, I’m sure she’ll pay Latson a visit. Or two. Or three. “Maybe it would be better if she stays here and far away from you,” I say.
“Do you think I’d let her get to me?”
“I don’t know,” I tease. “She was all over your lap the first time I met her.”
Latson doesn’t think I’m funny. “Seriously? You’re going to throw that in my face when you’re surrounded by guys?”
Whoa. “I was kidding.”
“No, you weren’t. You’ve brought this up before, when you thought Heidi and I were dating.”
I get defensive. “What did you expect? She was all over you.”
“What was I supposed to do? Shove her on the floor? I told you I was numb. I didn’t care about anything back then, other than work and Oliver.”
My stomach starts to knot. How did we start fighting? “I’m not doing this,” I say.
“Not doing what?”
“Fighting with you. Heidi sent that picture to start crap and it’s working.”
Latson sighs and I picture him rubbing the tension from the back of his neck.
“I shouldn’t have tried to joke about Heidi,” I say. “I just know how she is around you.”
He’s quiet for a moment. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have snapped.”
Suddenly, there are three loud bangs on the bedroom door. I walk over and open it to find Dean. “Jen.” He walks toward me with sympathetic eyes. “I can’t find Heidi, but when I do her ass will be gone.” He wraps me in an unexpected hug. “I can’t believe she violated your privacy like that. I’m so sorry. How are you feeling?”
He sways a little, so I know he’s still buzzed. “I feel fine. Why?”
“Is that Dean?” Latson asks through the phone.
“Yes,” I respond.
“Because you’re pregnant.” Dean steps back and holds me at arm’s length. Then, he smiles. “I’m going to be an uncle again.”
Oh boy. “No,” I shake my head, “you’re not. The test isn’t mine. Heidi’s confused.”
Now Dean looks confused. “But …”
“Let me talk to him,” Latson says.
I hand Dean the phone. “Your brother would like to speak to you.”
While Dean talks to Latson, I plop down on the bed. How did this night get so out of control? First Ariel, then Heidi. Now Latson and I are snapping at each other, and Dean thinks he’s going to get a new family member. I’ll take a do-over for $1,000 please, Alex.
“Well, yeah. I agree.” Dean paces back and forth. “Do you think I wouldn’t? Yes, I promise. What? That’s out of my control.” He stops walking. “What do you mean? How’s she involved?” His eyes grow wide. “Oh.”
I tap my fingers against my leg and start to wonder how Ariel’s chat with Zach went. She hasn’t come back in tears, so I assume things are going okay.
“Yeah. I’ll call you later. Yes … yeah. Here’s Jen.” Dean hands the phone back to me with a scowl. “I need another drink.”
He really doesn’t, but I don’t say anything. As he leaves I put the phone to my ear. “Hello?”
“I wish I were there,” Latson says, his voice more relaxed.
“Me, too.”
“Heidi should be gone soon. You won’t have to worry about her anymore.”
“I’m not worried now. As long as you know everything she says is a lie, I don’t care what she tries to pull.”
“You shouldn’t have to care about her at all.”
I hear something shut. “What are you doing?”
“Checking on O. He’s been faking sleep for Shark Week. I’ve caught him watching recorded episodes twice already. Both times it was after two a.m.”
“It’s summer.” My expression softens. “You should let him watch the sharks.”
“Easy for you to say. You don’t have to deal with his grumpy butt the next morning.”
I look at the clock. I wonder if there are any shark shows on now. “You know I’d be happy to deal with him if I were there. Tell him I’ll try to watch some episodes so we can compare notes. What channel is it on?”
“The Discovery Channel. He’ll like that.”
I look around the room for the television remote and catch the time. I didn’t realize it was so late. “It’s almost three a.m.,” I say. “I’ll let you go so you can get some sleep.”
“Now that I know I’m not going to be a father that should be easy.”
I frown. Is he being sarcastic with me? “I’m sorry about tonight. Trust me. I’ll always be honest with you.”
“Don’t apologize. What happened wasn’t your fault.”
“I know, but I still feel bad.” I swing my legs off the bed and sit up. “I’ll call you tomorrow, before we head to the arena.”
“Alright.” He’s silent for a second. “Hey, Jen?”
“Yeah?”
“I …” He stops. “I want you to know if you were pregnant, we’d make it work. I would respect any decision you made. I wasn’t angry about a baby; I was angry about being the last to know.”
My heart skips a beat. He wouldn’t be upset if I got knocked up? “I understand. But, just to be on the safe side, I think we should still be careful.” A small laugh escapes me. “I don’t think I’m ready to be a mom.”
His voice is quiet. “Well, for what it’s worth, I think you’d be great.”
He sounds disappointed, but before I can ask why, he says goodbye. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow,” he says. “Sleep tight.”
~~~~
A week later, we’re wrapping up our set in New Orleans.
“Thank you Louisiana!” Dean shouts into the mic.
The fans cheer, putting a grin on my face. The three of us join Dean for our usual wave goodbye, and, out of habit, my eyes dart to the groupie section near the front of the stage. The usual girls are there minus one. True to Latson and Dean’s word, Heidi was kicked off the tour the day after she pulled her little prank.
I didn’t see it go down, but I was told security escorted her out with Roxanne’s help. Apparently Rox freaked when Dean told her Heidi was sneaking around our hotel room. She said if I see Heidi again I’m supposed to report it. So now, every time we play, I look for her. I don’t expect her to show up, but you never know. She could actually pay to attend a concert for once.
As we head off the stage, Dean falls behind Drew and Paul to walk next to me. His eyes dart around before he asks, “Has she said anything?”
He doesn’t have to tell me who “she” is. He’s referring to Ariel. He knows she’s pregnant because Latson told him the night of the text message. She hasn’t made a formal announcement yet, and Dean’s worried about the tour. I don’t blame him. He’s got a lot riding on it.
“Nothing specific,” I say as I stop to get stripped of my gear. “I know she’s made a doctor’s appointment. That’s all.”
Okay, that’s not really all, but Dean could care less about her relationship with Zach. Since our trip to Dallas, Ariel has permanently moved to our bus. She travels with The Union and confides in me. She told me Zach supports her, but they’re not in love. What happened was a one night stand, a drunken mistake, and Ariel still isn’t sure what she’s going to do. All she has decided on is an appointment when we get to Tampa. She grew up in Florida and has a local doctor there.
“You’d tell me, right?” Dean hands his guitar to a crew member and pulls out his ear piece. “If it’s bad news, I need to know. I hate being blindsided.”
“You and me both,” I say, and it’s the truth.
When I’m free of equipment, I follow the guys out of the backstage area. I don’t know what their plans are, but I want to grab my stuff and head to the hotel. I’m hungry, and a hot shower and room service sounds like perfection. We’re headed down the hallway to our dressing room when a small crowd gathered outside Ariel’s door catches our attention.
“Interesting,” Dean says as we get closer. He cocks a questioning eyebrow, and I shrug. It appears some dancers, along with some arena staff, are anticipating something. We pass the group and I try to eavesdrop. Unfortunately, everyone goes silent as we walk by.
“That was weird,” Drew says when we enter our room.
“Think Ariel’s having a diva moment?” Paul jokes, opening the mini fridge.
I doubt she is. I’ve haven’t seen her be rude or demanding toward anyone. Then again, I’m not around her when she performs.
Grabbing my bag, I open it to find my phone. There’s a message from Latson: How’d it go tonight?
I type back Super fantastic as always and hit send. Then, I hear an unfamiliar voice. “Jen? Jen Elliott? Where’s Jen?”
I look up. Ariel’s manager, Mason, looks stressed as he pokes his head into our dressing room. “That’s me,” I say, doubtful. I’ve never talked to him before.
“I need you,” he says and rapidly gestures for me to follow him. “Bring your guitar.”
“My acoustic?”
“Whatever you have. Just move!”
“Go,” Dean says as he picks up my instrument and shoves it into my hands. “This doesn’t sound good.”
Confused, I do as I’m told, pulling the strap over my head as I follow Mason’s tall, lanky frame down the hallway. We speed walk to Ariel’s dressing room.
“I’m here. We’re here. Let me through,” he says as he parts the bodies standing in front of the door. He opens it and ushers me in ahead of him. When I step over the threshold, I look around Ariel’s posh set-up and feel a pang of jealousy. Comfy couches, an adjacent room filled with racks of costumes, a counter filled with catered finger foods, and bottles of champagne complete the area. We’re lucky if we get a bowl of pretzels and an extra folding chair.
“Ariel! I found her,” Mason calls out.
A partially open door to my left opens further. It’s a bathroom, and Ariel is sitting on the floor in front of the toilet. “Hey.” She gives me a weak smile. “Did you know morning sickness doesn’t only hit in the morning?”
My eyes consume my face, and I glance at Mason. “Yeah, I just found out,” he says, crossing his arms and setting his jaw. “She’s been puking for the last hour.”
I look at my guitar and then Ariel. Does she want me to play her a song? I walk toward her and kneel down. “What can I do?”
“I need you to stall,” she says. “I can’t go on yet. I’m feeling better, but not one hundred percent. I still need to get dressed and fix my face.”
“Stall how?” My brow furrows. “Do you want me to get the guys and go back on?”
“No.” She shakes her head. “I mean, you can, but you already played your set. Does the band have anything else?”
“Not that we’ve rehearsed.”
“Then you go,” she says. “Sing “Fairytale.” Sing “I Choose You.” Sing –” Suddenly, she leans forward and dry heaves. “Sing whatever the hell you want,” she says into the toilet.
She’s lost her mind. “Are you insane? The people out there don’t want to see me.” I can hear the booing and catcalls now. My music isn’t what they paid for.
“I’m asking a favor,” she groans. She looks over her shoulder at Mason. “Where are my Saltines?”
He looks like he’s losing his patience. Either that or he’s so far out of his comfort zone he doesn’t know what to do. He holds up his hands. “I put in a call.”
My eyes bounce between the two of them. Couldn’t my favor be to deliver the crackers?
“Please,” Ariel pleads. “I just need some extra time.”
My mind races. Going out on stage alone violates my cardinal rule. The idea doesn’t make me happy. In fact, it scares the shit out of me. I’m not prepared.
“Jen. Think of it as a career opportunity,” Mason says.
“You’re on board with this?”
“I’m on board with anything that prevents a hostile audience.” He looks at his watch. “And we’re supposed to start the show in a few minutes.”
I take a deep breath. Nothing like a little pressure to force you into a decision. “Okay.” I stand up and look at Ariel. She wears a grateful expression.
“Thank you,” she says before pushing her body off the floor and turning on the sink.
Don’t thank me just yet, I think. She may still wind up with angry fans.
“Let’s go,” Mason says and opens the door. As soon as he does, he’s bombarded with questions.
“Is the show canceled?”
“Is Ariel sick?”
“What does she have?”
“The show is not canceled,” he says, raising his voice and his hands to push back the people. “Ariel had a migraine, but she’s feeling better. We’re running about twenty minutes behind. Go get ready.” He grabs one of the arena personnel. “I need a mic at the front of the stage. Tell the crew there’s been a slight change, we have an extra act.”
The guy nods and starts talking into his headset.
“C’mon,” Mason says and starts to lead me through the fray.
“Jen!”
I hear Dean and look behind me. He catches up to my side as we walk. “What’s going on?”
“Ariel needs extra time. She wants me to stall.” I give him a panicked look. “She wants me to play.”
His eyes grow wide. “Are you okay with that?”
“Do I have a choice?”
The three of us make it backstage where I’m hooked up with everything I just took off. “Just go out there, introduce yourself, and play,” Mason says as Roxanne comes running up.
“What in the hell is going on here?” Her eyes shoot daggers.
“Don’t worry, Roxy. I’m not stealing your talent.” Mason looks me over, making sure I have everything. “Last minute schedule change, that’s all.”
“Why?”
“Ariel’s not feeling great. She needs a few more minutes.” Mason looks me in the eye. “You’re all set. I’ll tell you when it’s time to come off through your ear piece.” He gives me a little nudge toward the stage. “Please don’t suck,” I hear him mutter.
Oh my God. Am I really doing this?
“I’m going with you.” Dean grabs my hand, and I relax a little. He leads me toward the stage. “You’ve never performed alone before. What they’re asking isn’t fair. I’ll introduce you and stay close.”
�
�Thanks.” I squeeze his hand.
We walk out on to the darkened stage and the lights come up a bit. Dean lets go of me and waves as he makes his way to the mic. I stare out into the arena as I follow him and notice every seat looks filled. They’re waiting for Ariel.
Not me.
“Hello again, New Orleans,” Dean’s voice echoes. “Remember me?” He laughs and the crowd cheers. “I’m Dean McCarthy, in case you forgot.” He jerks his head, telling me to move closer. “This here is Jen Elliott. You saw her earlier, too, when she wailed on rhythm guitar with me and the boys.”
The people actually make noise for me, so I nod and smile.
“Ariel –”
The crowd erupts at the mention of her name. It’s deafening. Dean grins and claps with them, then gestures for them to calm down.
“Ariel will be out in just a few minutes,” he continues over the whistles and applause. “While you wait, she sent you someone special. She asked my friend Jen to entertain you. I promise you’re going to love her.”
He steps back, giving me the mic, and my head feels heavy. A low buzz sounds in my ears, and I start to feel nauseous. My heart pounds in my chest like it’s trapped in a cage. Don’t faint. Don’t faint. Don’t faint.
I manage to step up to the mic without keeling over. “Thanks, Dean. Hello, Louisiana.” My voice sounds thick and tense. I force a smile even though my legs feel weak. “I’m Jen, and this is ‘Fairytale’.”
The people continue to cheer. Not like they did for Ariel, but at least the majority sound polite. Adrenaline feeds my nervous energy, so I close my eyes and strum my guitar. I feel like heaving. I cannot throw up!
The sound of the instrument centers me, and the buzzing starts to fade. My heart continues to race, so I concentrate on the feel of the guitar in my hands. It gives me confidence, and I let the first notes flow through my fingers and onto my strings. I open my eyes, then I open my mouth and …
Sing.
Chapter Twenty Four
“Check this out.” Dean extends his hand to show me his phone. He taps the screen and a video of me starts to play.