by Sara Mack
“What are you doing?” Jules asks through a forced smile. “I didn’t bring my tambourine.”
I laugh, remembering our conversation about our fake band. “I’m going to let my brother take it from here,” I say and back away. I glance at Pete, and he gently takes both of Jules’ hands. He stares into her eyes, and I hold the mic between the two of them so everyone can hear.
“Juliana –”
The crowd goes crazy as soon as Pete says her name.
“I can’t remember a time in my life without you. You’re my rock, my best friend, my voice of reason, and my partner in crime.”
He drops to one knee and the fans grow louder. My eyes jump to my parents, and I see my mom hanging on to my dad’s arm. Gwen, Carter, and Felix are hanging on to each other in anticipation, too. My attention falls back on Jules and her mouth is hanging open. She tries to cover it with one hand, but my brother won’t let her go.
“It’s time to formally ask you to be my partner in life,” Pete says and scoots closer to Jules. “Juliana Louise. Will you marry me …” He leans away from the mic. “Again?”
Her eyes get teary as she enthusiastically nods yes. The audience cheers, my band mates clap, and Pete jumps up, grabbing Jules and spinning her around. When he sets her down he kisses her, then reaches into his pocket and pulls out her ring. She gasps when she sees it and holds out a shaky hand. My brother slides it onto her finger, and it sparkles in the stage lighting.
“Congratulations you guys,” I say into the mic and my voice echoes. “It’s about time I got a sister.” The two of them turn and make me the meat in a Jules and Pete sandwich.
“How long have you two been planning this?” Jules whispers in my ear.
“Since I found out you were married,” I whisper back.
She leans away with wide eyes and I smirk. “Oh, yeah. I knew.”
“Thanks a lot, Little J.” Pete hugs me once more. “We’ll never forget this.”
Me, neither, I think. Despite how empty my heart has been, it swells with emotion for Jules and Pete. They have the real thing, and it’s beautiful. Because of them I know true love exists. It’s out there, and I can only hope one day it will find me.
~~~~
“There you are.”
I hear Pete’s voice and look over my shoulder. I wanted some time to myself, but I guess twenty minutes is all I’m allowed.
My brother exits the pool area of the hotel and pulls a patio chair next to mine. The scraping sound against the pavers makes me flinch. “There’s one hell of a party happening upstairs,” he says as he sits down. “Why are you out here all by yourself?”
I shrug. The outdoor patio at the hotel seemed like a nice place to get away and look at the stars. “It’s a warm night for September. I wanted to enjoy it.”
He shoots me a skeptical look. “And?”
“And I needed a minute,” I say. “I can only watch mom try to do the “Wobble” so many times.”
Pete laughs. “You can blame Jules and Gwen for that little show.”
I roll my eyes, but still smile.
“Seriously, though,” he sets his hand on my knee and shakes it, “What’s wrong? The show was great. We pulled off the proposal.”
“I know.”
“Plus, you’re going to write for Ariel and become a mega-millionaire.” He grins. “By the way, I am your favorite brother, right?”
I snort. “You may be my favorite, but I wouldn’t hold your breath waiting for millions.” I look across the patio. “It just hit me, that’s all.”
“What did?”
“That it’s over,” I say. “The tour. Chicago. Torque. Hanging out with you guys. Latson and me …” I rub my arms like I’m cold. “It’s all over.”
“Little J.” Pete’s voice turns empathetic. “If you want to come back to Chicago with me and Jules, you can. You don’t have to stay here if you don’t want to.”
“And live in the same building as the man who hates me? I don’t think so.”
“Who said he hates you?”
My eyebrows jump. “I would think a month of silence screams hatred. He hasn’t tried to contact me.”
“Have you tried to talk to him?”
“No,” I mutter at the ground. “I tried to apologize in person. He didn’t want to hear it.”
“It was a hard day,” Pete says. “Maybe he’s ready to hear it now.”
I frown. Since when is Pete in Latson’s corner? “Are you defending him?”
“No. I’m –”
“It sounds like you’re defending him. He’s mad at me over an accident, Pete.” Well, two accidents.
“Listen. Did you ever stop to think that he –” Pete hesitates, then lets his head fall back. “Fuck it.”
“Fuck what?”
He looks at me. “Both of you are messed up over this. I’m sick of seeing you sad.”
I get sarcastic. “You’ve only seen me one day.”
“You’re forgetting the rest of the weekend when this whole thing happened. Not to mention I’ve had to listen to your depressed voice every time I call.” He reaches into his pocket and pulls out my car keys. He starts to hand them over, but stops. “Before I give these to you, I need to know one thing.”
“What?”
“When you said you loved Latson,” he sighs, “did you mean it?”
I’m confused. “How do you know I said that?” I’ve only told Ariel how I felt.
Pete points at me. “If anyone finds out I told you this I’m going to say I don’t remember because I was drunk.”
Maybe he really is drunk. He’s not making much sense. “Okay.”
“Dean sent a video to Latson,” he says. “It was from the bus. You can’t see much, but you can hear voices. Ariel asks if you could tell Latson anything, what would it be? You answered that you love him.”
My eyes narrow. Dean was recording me?
“So?” Pete gets impatient. “Do you really love him?”
“Of course I do. I don’t profess my devotion for people if I don’t mean it.”
He hands me my keys. “You need to go home now.”
“Home? As in –”
“Your apartment. And before you get mad, yes, I made a copy of your key.”
My heart starts to pound. “Is Latson –”
Pete stands and pulls me to my feet. “Don’t ask questions. Just go. I already gave too much away.”
I take a step, then start to sprint toward the pool room doors. “Don’t speed!” Pete calls out.
Jogging through the hotel, I burst through the front doors and into the parking lot. I have no idea where my brother parked my car, so after going up and down a few rows, I give up and push the panic button on my key ring. Once I find it, I jump in and head to the expressway. It’s not long before I realize I ran off and left everything I own at the hotel. I don’t even have my driver’s license on me.
Shit. I’ll have to make a trip back in the morning.
During the drive to my place, a million thoughts swirl in my mind. Is Latson really there? If he’s not, something else certainly is. What it could be? Dean’s covert video obviously made an impression, which reminds me of Ariel’s expression when she asked me her question. Was she in on this, too?
When I pull into my apartment complex, I spot Dorothy right away. Latson is here. I park next to his car, then jump out of mine. Racing inside, I take the stairs two at a time until I’m outside my door. I raise my hand to knock, but stop when it seems weird. It’s my apartment. Plus, it’s almost three a.m. Latson’s probably sleeping. On what, I don’t know because I need to replace my furniture. The carpet, maybe? At least it’s new. I need to stop rambling and just open the damn door already.
Placing the key in the lock, I try to be quiet when I turn the knob. I step inside and notice all the lights are off except for a strange blue glow coming from the living room. Closing the door behind me, I take a few stealthy steps until I’m staring in awe. Light from a fish tank
I never had illuminates my place, and there, on a brand new couch surrounded by all new furniture, lies a sleeping Oliver snuggled against a sleeping Latson. After my rush to get here, my pulse slows to a steady pace. Everything about this feels right. I can see myself coming home to these two every day of my life.
Soft sounds coming from the corner lure me over to stand in front of the fish tank. A lump forms in my throat when I realize what’s inside. Four seahorses are hiding amongst the seaweed and coral; two are a grayish color, one is yellow, and another is red. They float weightlessly, hanging on to the plants with their tails. They’re gorgeous. I know this had to be Oliver’s idea, and it makes my heart melt.
“Hey,” a sleepy voice whispers as arms slowly wrap around my waist. “You’re home early.”
I fall back against Latson’s chest and close my eyes, content to be there. He kisses the side of my neck before setting his chin on my shoulder. “Do you like them?”
I nod. “They’re beautiful.”
He holds me tighter. “I hope you don’t mind we named them. O couldn’t wait.”
I smile and open my eyes. “What are they?”
“The two gray ones are Oliver and Uncle Gunnar,” he says. “The yellow one is Ed, and the red one is Jen.”
I stifle a laugh. “Ed? Really?”
Latson smiles against my skin. “I came up with that one.”
I stare into the tank as he holds me. “Why am I red?” I whisper.
“For cardinal,” he says. “I remembered your rule.”
This makes me so happy. I turn around in his arms and wrap mine around his neck. He leans forward and sets his forehead against mine. “God, I love you, Jen. I’m sorry for everything. I don’t ever want to lose you.”
“I don’t want to be lost,” I whisper. “I love you so much.”
He ducks his head and finds my mouth. My entire body reacts as my blood rushes through my veins. Out of all the kisses I’ve ever received, I never knew I was waiting for this one. It’s full of passion, but it’s not seductive. It’s an apology and a declaration; it’s longing and relief. It’s everything I’ve always wanted.
One of his hands leaves my back and travels up my arm to circle my wrist. He leans back and moves my hand, pressing my palm over his pounding heart. “Do you feel that?”
I nod.
“It’s for you,” he says. “Only for you.”
I look up and get lost in his eyes.
“C’mon,” he murmurs as he steps back. He leads me past Oliver and into my bedroom, which I’m not surprised to see has a new bedroom set. He turns on a lamp for some light, and I run my hands over a thick sage comforter. “Why did you do all this?” I’m still whispering. “It’s too much.”
“You don’t like it?” He looks worried. “Everything can be exchanged. I thought –”
I hold a finger to his lips. “I love it all.”
He relaxes.
“But …” I glance around. “What does this say?”
“What do you mean?”
“Do you want me to stay in Michigan?”
Latson reaches for me and wraps his arms around my waist again. “No. I mean, yes. I mean, I want whatever you want.”
My brow furrows.
“Dean made it sound like you were set on staying here. I didn’t know if that meant you never wanted to see me again or if you might be open to a long distance relationship. All I knew was I wanted things to be as easy as possible. I wanted your mind free to think about us and not material things.”
I give him a tiny smile. “I only said I was staying here because I thought you didn’t want me. I didn’t have anywhere else to go.”
His eyes grow hungry. “You’d come back to Chicago?”
“What’s keeping me here?”
He kisses me again, and it’s more intense than before. His tongue parts my lips as it searches out mine, and I mold my body to his. When I catch my breath, I say, “It’s a good thing Pete will let me stay with him.”
Latson meets my eyes and shakes his head. “No. No more brothers, or crazy groupies, or asshole record label execs.”
I bite my lower lip. “About that …”
He frowns.
“Ariel asked me to write for her. I said yes. I don’t know how the industry works, but I may run into Caleb again.”
Latson rests his forehead against mine.
“You have to know he has nothing to offer me. Not a career and certainly not himself.”
Latson runs his hands to my shoulders and then buries his fingers in my hair. “I know. Everything that happened the day of the funeral … seeing that picture on top of missing you … it was too much. Please believe I trust you; I do. I know your heart, and it would never hurt me.”
My mouth crashes down on his. I can’t stop myself; his words are perfection. They’re exactly what I needed to hear.
Latson turns our bodies and backs me against the bed. As his mouth zeroes in on my neck and my stomach flutters, I ask, “Does this mean you want me to move in with you?”
His words are muffled against my skin. “Hell, yes.”
With those words, my hands start to roam his body. As I debate going for his shirt or his shorts, my instincts take over and decide for me; I find the bottom of his shirt and push it up. I don’t get far however, because he steps back and finishes the job. I try to reach for him again, but as soon as my hands slide across his bare skin, he backs farther away.
“One sec.” He gives me my favorite smile and jogs over to the door. He shuts it quietly. “I don’t think we need an audience.”
My eyes grow wide. How could I forget about Oliver? “We don’t have to do this right now.”
Before I can blink Latson’s standing in front of me again. “We are doing this, and we are doing it now.” One of his hands grips my hip, while the other cradles the nape of my neck. “I’ve waited too damn long for you.”
I smile. “A month’s your limit?”
“No.” He pulls me closer. “Life kept me waiting too long for you. I’m never letting you go.”
His words make my heart race, and I trace his bottom lip with my thumb. “Promise?”
His lips meet mine in a scorching kiss. “I promise.”
Epilogue ~ One Year Later
“Jules. Would you stop fixing my hair? I love it.”
I watch in the mirror as she plays with more strands of my “messy” twist. It’s a very precise hairstyle to be labeled messy.
“It has to be perfect,” she says, determined. “Everything about this day has to be perfect.”
I sigh. “It looks great. You need to get ready. Nothing can happen today without you.”
She stops picking at me and looks down at her satin slip. “I guess you’re right. Pete wouldn’t like it if I walked down the aisle half-naked.”
“Or maybe he would.” I wink at her and she playfully shoves me.
Jules leaves my side, and I look in the mirror again. I touch a few of the pearl pins she put in my hair. They’re simple, elegant, and perfectly placed. Over my shoulder, I catch Gwen’s reflection wiggling into her plum-colored bridesmaid dress.
“What time do we have to leave again?” she asks.
Jules beats me to answering her question. “Twelve-thirty. We don’t have much time.”
I shake my head and smile. My sister-in-law is the best, but she’s taking this day so seriously I’m afraid she’s going to stroke out before it’s over. She’s coordinated everything right down to the minute.
A knock on the door distracts me from Jules’ potential need for an ambulance. She tries to race me to open it, but I leap off the vanity bench and beat her to it. Her eyes grow wide. “You don’t know who it is!”
I stick out my tongue and open the door anyway. I’m not as superstitious as she is. When I turn to greet our visitor, a smile breaks across my face. “Hey! You made it.”
“We did.” Ariel wrestles with a diaper bag in one hand and a baby carrier in the other. “Can y
ou take her for a sec? She’s getting heavy.”
“Sure.” I reach for baby Piper and carry her into my childhood bedroom. She’s so chunky and adorable; I just want to squeeze her. At five months old I already know she’s going to be a heartbreaker. I am a little biased though; she is my goddaughter after all.
Setting the carrier on my old twin bed, I peer inside and use my baby voice, which I’m sure is annoying. “How’s my girl?” Piper just stares at me and chews on her fist.
“Your girl is entirely too awake at the moment.” Ariel drops the diaper bag. “I really hoped she’d be napping by now.”
I undo the straps to her carrier and lift her out. “Let me talk to her,” I say.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Jules rushes to my side. “What if she throws up on you?”
I make a face. “She won’t throw up on me.” I settle Piper against my stomach, her back to my front, so she can see what’s going on. “Besides, she’s one of us. We have to get a look at her dress.” She’s dolled up in purple, from her tiny headband, to her outfit, to her little tights.
“Speaking of dresses …” Ariel gestures for me to turn around and I do. “You look stunning. Gunnar may pass out.”
I smile. “Thanks.”
“I thought the baby was here!” My mom rushes into the room and makes grabby hands. “Let me have her.”
I roll my eyes and hand her over. It’s useless to fight with my mom over Piper, or any baby for that matter.
“When are you going to convince these two to give me grandchildren?” My mom talks to Piper as she sets her on her hip. She looks between me and Jules. “I’m not getting any younger, you know.”
Jules turns around and pretends to be interested in finding her heels while I put my hand on my hip. “One thing at a time, okay? And what’s Oliver? Chopped liver?”
“You know I love Ollie to death,” my mom says as she canoodles the baby.
Oy. Ollie. He loves the nickname. Me not so much.
“Limo’s here!” my dad shouts up the stairs.
“That’s our cue to leave,” my mom says to the baby. She walks over and starts to put her in her carrier, and Ariel helps.