But it was more than that.
Reid’s reaction wasn’t just about defending Derek. It was also about defending his own ego. If Kate couldn’t believe in Derek’s ability to bounce back, how could she believe in Reid? His history was as spotty as the younger player’s, and his relationship with Kate was a lot more entangled. So if she believed Derek’s mistakes would keep him from achieving success, she must believe the same about Reid. And that killed him. He wanted her to believe in him. Her approval mattered much more than he wanted it to. He thought he’d earned a little of her respect through his work so far this season, but now he wasn’t so sure.
By the time they arrived back in Portland for a much-needed home stand, Reid was done stewing in his thoughts and doubts. He knew the only way to gain Kate’s respect was to keep doing his job. He also planned to focus a lot of attention and encouragement on Derek. Together, they would prove Kate wrong – about both of them.
With interleague play approaching, Reid had a good excuse to spend extra coaching time with Derek. All of the pitchers were hitting the cages extra hard over the next few weeks as they prepared to face teams from the National League. Most of them were pretty excited about the rare opportunity to swing a bat in a game, and Reid couldn’t blame them. Hitting was part of the game they fell in love with as children. It was one reason Reid had never considered pitching. He had a decent arm, but strikeouts didn’t excite him. On either side of the ball. Hits were a lot more fun. He wanted to hit. He needed to hit. For him, there was nothing more exhilarating than the sound of solid contact between a wood bat and a white ball with 108 red stitches. He enjoyed the defense part of the game, and he’d had his fair share of highlight reel catches, but if anyone asked, he would much rather hit a home run than take one away.
Reid’s Kate-less streak ran out when he and the rest of the coaching staff met with the front office staff and the ownership group. The Pioneers did this at the mid-point of each season to discuss the state of the team as they prepared for the second half run. His morning workout ran a little longer than he expected, so he was the last one to arrive at the restaurant for the lunch meeting. The only empty seat remaining was next to the GM he’d been avoiding for nearly two weeks. He was still irritated by their last conversation, but he didn’t have any other choice. He took a deep breath and put on a smile as he settled in the open chair. He noticed that Kate shifted in her seat a little when he sat down. Clearly, she was bothered by his proximity. This was nothing new, but it still caught his attention every time. Usually he was amused, but today he was just annoyed. He decided to spread that feeling to her.
“How’s it going, Katie?” he asked as he picked up his menu.
“I’ve told you several times not to call me that.”
“Sorry, I keep forgetting. Old habits are tough to quit. Sometimes they can get in the way. Of course, I don’t have to tell you that.”
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw her mouth open and close as though she was going to say something but thought better of it.
They didn’t speak to each other again for the rest of the lunch meeting. At least not directly. Reid gave his input on a few players as they came up in discussion while Kate took notes and sometimes offered a rebuttal, but it was more like she was talking at him than to him. Her voice sounded different when she addressed him too, but Reid acknowledged that might just be his biased imagination. As far as he could tell, the other people at the table didn’t notice any tension between the hitting coach and the GM, and that was encouraging. He and Kate might never solve their issues, but it was important that they were able to discuss the business of the team with some semblance of professionalism. Being friends again was obviously a long shot, but they still had to work together.
When they finished lunch, James Scott pulled Kate aside for a private conversation. Reid stopped briefly to chat with the pitching coach, but he made sure to cut it short so he could escape without another interaction with Kate. He heard her calling his name as he unlocked his car. He briefly thought about ignoring her and just continuing on like he didn’t hear her. But he decided that probably wasn’t in the best interest of his employment.
“Reid,” she repeated as she hurried over to him.
“What can I do for you?” he asked, opening the door and turning to face her.
“Do you have a minute to talk?”
“About what?”
“About why you’re so mad at me.”
“I’m not mad at you.”
“Then why are you avoiding me?”
He smirked and shook his head. “Odd question coming from someone who avoided me for the first several months of the season.”
“I didn’t ...”
“Oh yes you did, Kate. You can’t possibly think I’m stupid enough that I didn’t see it.”
“I don’t think you’re stupid.”
“Just a loser then, right?”
“I never said that either. Why are you putting words in my mouth?”
“Because you aren’t saying much of anything to me, so I guess it’s easier to make up my own version of what you’re thinking.”
She sighed. “So let’s hear the rest of this version.”
“No thanks. I have work to do.”
“Seriously, Reid. You’ve never been this short with me. What’s going on? I know you’re upset about something I said in Chicago, but I don’t understand why.”
“I’m just surprised you’d take such a chance on someone if you think he’s just going to fail anyway.”
Understanding registered in her expression.
“I never said Derek Beaman was going to fail. I actually think he’s going to do just fine. I’m sorry if I don’t share your opinion that he’s going to be an ace.”
“And your opinion is based on what?”
“His history. He’s an addict, Reid. I’m pleased with how he’s bounced back, but let’s face it, he’s always going to have issues. And those issues are going to hold him back.”
“Do you always judge people based solely on their past?”
“Well, I can’t see the future, so the past is the only thing I have. So far, I haven’t been wrong. I do know a little something about this business. I thought you agreed with me on that.”
“You do know the business. I’m not taking that away from you at all. It’s just a shame you don’t think people can change and overcome their past. Maybe it’s that you’re no good at judging people.”
Kate took a step back and her expression hardened.
“You might be right there,” she said. “Look at you, for example.”
“What about me?”
“Well, I trusted you twice and you hurt me twice. The first time was your fault, but the second time was all on me. If I’d based my judgments on your past, I would never have let you back in. So, you’ve definitely done your share of proving me wrong about people.”
Reid shook his head. “How did this get to be about you and me? I thought you didn’t want to discuss our past.”
“I didn’t. I mean, I don’t,” she said, clearly frustrated. “This is about Derek Beaman. I’m not judging him personally based on his past. I’m judging him professionally. Which is exactly what I’ve done with you. I hired you because I think you’ll do a good job as a coach, not because I trust you in any other way.”
“So I suppose that’s your professional prediction for me too, right? That I’m a coach now and my playing days are done.”
“I didn’t say that.”
“You don’t have to. You’ve already said guys like Derek who have major issues won’t ever get past them to succeed.”
“You don’t have issues like he does.”
“If that’s what you believe, you definitely don’t know me.”
She eyed him curiously. “What are you saying?”
“If you won’t discuss our past so I can figure out where I went wrong, I’m not going to discuss my past so you can see where you’re wrong. Two can p
lay this game, Kate.”
“It’s not a game.”
“Well, it sure feels like one.”
Kate was about to say something else, but Reid didn’t care to stick around to hear it. He climbed into his car and pulled away without another word. He fumed all the way to the ballpark where he jogged laps around the perimeter of the field to try and burn off some of his frustration. Preferably before the players arrived to start their pre-game routines. As he plodded around the warning track, he tried to clear his head, but he just kept replaying his conversation with Kate.
No one pushed his buttons like she did. Almost every time they talked, tension rose between them. After their brief civil exchanges in Minneapolis, he thought maybe they were working past it. But no. Apparently those conversations had been anomalies in the grand scheme of their relationship. Clearly, they hadn’t made as much progress as he thought and hoped. The strain between them was palpable. He was starting to doubt they could ever be friends.
But the source of his frustration went deeper, and he knew it. He was bothered by her lack of faith in him. Even if it was only implied, it still bothered him. He wanted her to see him as more than just a good coach. He wanted to prove to her that he was more than that. He was determined to show her he was still a good player too. And a good person. He had a feeling the former would be easier than the latter.
For now, Reid intended focus on improving Kate’s opinion of Derek.
Fortunately, the pitcher was doing a fine job of that on his own. In his next two starts, he threw seven shutout innings of a 2-0 win and struck out eight batters in a game the Pioneers won 8-3. Derek was making people notice him.
Reid’s pride in Derek grew. He was the only one who knew the full extent of the off-field stuff swirling around in Derek’s head.
Derek’s ex-wife continued to flaunt her new relationship all over Facebook. Recently, she shared a video of a proposal along with multiple photos of her ring and fiancé. Derek was close to breaking, but there was very little he could do about it. He couldn’t unfriend her or hide her updates if he wanted to keep tabs on his daughter. And he did. He seemed to be coming to terms with the fact that his relationship with Keely was beyond repair. But there was still time for him to bond with Brynn and be a good father to her. If only Keely would let him. So far, Derek wasn’t convinced she would. There was no formal custody arrangement in place. He had always hoped he and Keely could work out a deal without getting the court’s intervention. But that wasn’t happening. As his requests to see Brynn kept getting denied, Derek realized he would need to contact a lawyer soon. He hadn’t done it yet, due in part to his travel and game schedule, but he was getting closer. In the meantime, his only glimpse of his daughter came through Facebook photos, which unfortunately were mixed in with posts about Keely’s new love.
Reid could tell the separation from Brynn and watching Keely move on was taking a toll on Derek, but that only made his pitching performances even more remarkable. Somehow he was able to put his personal problems aside when he went to the mound. Or maybe he used them as motivation. Reid wasn’t completely sure, but he was impressed.
Kate was too. She wasn’t yet ready to admit Reid might have been right about Derek, but he was outperforming all the expectations she had for him. Even if this was a fluke or a mere hot streak, Derek was making a huge mark on the Pioneers’ season. It gave her more conviction in her decision to move him up in the rotation. When she approached Don Carroll about the switch, he was more than a little surprised.
“Are you sure you want to do that?” the manager asked her.
“Absolutely. Beaman’s one of our best pitchers right now. He’s earned this.”
“I agree he’s been pitching well. But this ... it might be too much for him with his history.”
“It seems his history is just that. I admit, I never thought he’d be more than a back of the rotation starter, but I’d love to be wrong about that. In the last few weeks, he’s shown he isn’t afraid of pressure or a new challenge. I think he’s ready for this.”
“I sure hope so.”
After the game that night, Kate went down to the clubhouse to watch the manager’s post-game press conference. As she was going into the media room, she heard her name being called. She turned and saw Derek walking toward her.
“Miss Marks, I’m glad I caught you,” he said once he finally reached her. “I wanted to thank you for moving me up in the rotation. It’s probably a small move to any other pitcher, but it’s a huge deal for me.”
The gratitude and sincerity in his voice nearly melted Kate on the spot. Always the professional, she kept her emotions from her face.
“You’ve had a great season so far. You’ve earned this.”
“Coach B said you’re a good judge of players, so I know this move is a huge vote of confidence. I can’t tell you what that means to me.”
“You’ve been working hard, and it shows. You are a major part of the Pioneers’ success.”
Derek grinned at her compliment. “I promise I won’t let you down.”
“Just keep doing what you’ve been doing and you’ll be fine.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
Kate couldn’t help but smile as the young pitcher disappeared into the locker room. She loved knowing she’d made a young player’s day. It almost made up for the days when she had to do the opposite – send a player down to the minors or dismiss them from the team completely. Those conversations never got easier, but exchanges like the one she’d just had with Derek reminded her there were some good moments in her job as well.
Chapter Nine
Kate eased into the media room to catch the end of Don Carroll’s post-game press conference. It had been a good, clean game, so the manager was in a favorable mood. He spent a lot of time complimenting his players, and the reporters didn’t pose any questions that could result in negative answers. As a coach whose moods went with the team's ups and downs, Don's good spirits were encouraging and welcome.
It was a perfect reflection of the season thus far. There had been a few rough games, but the Pioneers were in the middle of a nice stretch, and Kate hoped the momentum would carry through the All-Star Break. She had a few players headed to the mid-season exhibition, but she was trying not to worry about players’ ability to keep their focus on the games that really counted. While she appreciated the tradition of the All-Star Game, she did not share the opinion that it counted for much. The game would decide home field advantage in the World Series, but that was only significant if you reached that point in the postseason, and the Pioneers had some work to do before that was a reality. She trusted the managers and the athletes to establish and maintain their focus on the big goal. It wasn't her job to motivate them. She just needed to provide them with the tools they needed. So far, it seemed she'd done a decent job of that.
As she listened to the media room chatter, Kate checked her watch more than once. Usually, she didn’t care how long the press conferences were, but tonight she did. As soon as she was done at the ballpark, she was headed to the airport for a flight to Minnesota. Neal had finally gotten in touch with her. After a week of radio silence, he called her and admitted the distance and her schedule had presented a daunting obstacle.
“But you knew about my job before we even went out,” Kate had said to him.
“I know, but I got so caught up in getting to know you that I didn’t really think about the logistics. I was just enjoying your company,” Neal replied.
“And now?”
“Now I want another chance.”
“Why? Nothing about the situation has changed.”
“True. But I really like you.”
“How can you be sure that’s enough?”
“I can’t be sure, but I want to try. Look, I know it’s not ideal, but it’s not like I’ve had much luck with anyone local either. I’m ready to try something new. Maybe I need to step out of my comfort zone.”
“What are you saying?”
> “I’m saying I’m willing to try and make this work. I know it’s going to be hard, but you’re an amazing woman. I think you’re worth the extra effort.”
His words were perhaps the best compliment she’d ever received. It was even better than being called beautiful or kind or smart. Knowing someone thought you were worthy of the hard work involved in maintaining a relationship across distance and busy schedules was an incredible feeling. It warmed her enough that she forgave his brief silence. She also decided she needed to meet him halfway, so she would miss the final series before the All-Star Break in order to spend more time with him. She and the rest of the front office staff had already held countless meetings about mid-season trades. They knew what they needed to do, but there wasn’t much they could do about it for a few more weeks. While she still had plenty of work responsibilities, she could complete them via phone and internet. A few days away from wouldn’t hurt the team.
It would also provide a break from Reid. Then again, he hadn’t been much of an issue since their most recent argument over Derek Beaman. On the rare occasion their paths crossed, they merely exchanged the occasional greeting or discussed team-related issues. That was it. She found the silence a bit unsettling. And it shouldn’t have been. She should have been thrilled to be on this level with him. It was what she’d wanted when she hired him – distance and civility. But this just felt wrong. And it bothered her that she was so preoccupied with how Reid was or wasn’t regarding her.
She tried not to dwell on her strained relationship with Reid as she boarded a red-eye to Minneapolis. It was time to put work aside for a few hours, relax, and prepare for a weekend with Neal. He said he had some good things planned, but the lack of details made her uneasy. She’d asked him several times over the week, but he just kept saying he wanted to surprise her. Surprises made her anxious, but she was trying her best to let go of that for now and just enjoy the next few days.
Dropped Third Strike (Portland Pioneers #1) Page 19