by Laura Burton
“Her pupils aren’t dilating. Where is Dr Jones?”
“I’m here, let me have a look,” a woman’s voice called out. There was a movement by the other side of the bed, and someone patted her hand.
“Amelia, I’m Dr Jones. I’m going to take a look at your eyes. Can you tell me what you can see?” the doctor said kindly. Amelia swallowed against the raw pain in her throat and blinked several times, trying to make out anything in the room.
“I just see light, painful light, and outlines of people, but it’s all blurry,” Amelia choked out. It was painful to speak.
“She has a severe concussion. We should get a consult from the general surgeon,” Dr Jones murmured to someone by the foot of the bed.
“Surgery?” Amelia spluttered. Dr Jones squeezed her hand.
“You’re going to be all right. We’ll take good care of you,” she said reassuringly.
“We’ll need an MRI and CT scan to monitor the damage,” a young male’s voice said from further away.
“The ECG looks good, but I’d like to do an echo,” another voice said with urgency. Amelia became dizzy and an intense pressure pain swept across her head.
“My head hurts,” she cried out and grabbed her head in her hands. Then the pain cranked up a gear and she thought her brain was going to crack her skull open. Amelia shrieked.
“Who’s on Neuro today? Page—”
“It’s me, John. I need to get her in the operating room NOW.”
Amelia moaned and writhed around in the bed. Suddenly she sensed a commotion around her bed as it started to move, and a rush of voices blended into one big noise of confusion and urgency. An alarm echoed through the halls, the shrill ringing was like knives through her brain and it throbbed painfully in response. She closed her eyes against the blinding light and was about to scream against the pain in her head, but instead an eerie sense of calm swept over her body like it was suddenly dipped into a warm bath. Her senses tingled and warmth flooded her whole body.
“Vitals are dropping, we’re losing her.”
“I’m all right. I feel better now,” Amelia whispered, but the sound failed to escape her lips. The tingling grew to intense vibrations; it were as if every molecule was trembling with excitement. She became euphoric, then dizzy and weightless.
“There’s no time, we need to do this now.”
“I know, let me focus. 10 blade.”
Amelia was floating somewhere near the ceiling. Her breathing grew heavy and slow, and she sank deeper and deeper into cold darkness.
“Come on, Amelia, stay with us.”
Amelia was standing in a meadow. Purple and yellow flowers were scattered around her and a little cobbled path led her to an old cottage with the most beautiful garden she had ever seen. She looked down to see herself wearing a white gown with a lace overlay and embroidered daisies along the bodice. Her hair flowed to her waist in a mass of soft curls and she wore satin ballet slippers. A butterfly flew past her face; its wings were pink, and the sight made Amelia smile. She walked towards the cottage and admired the rows of purple tulips standing pretty outside the garden. A laurel bush rustled and out jumped a long-haired rabbit and sniffed a white rose curiously.
“Hello, humbug.” Amelia’s hand flew to her mouth as she stared at the rabbit in surprise.
“Grandma?” she asked the rabbit.
“No, silly, I’m up here.” Amelia looked up as the rabbit hopped away, then saw an old woman wearing a simple white dress with a woollen shawl wrapped around her shoulders. Her amber eyes shone brightly in the golden sunlight. Amelia gasped and ran into her grandma’s arms. They embraced and the smell of peppermint washed over Amelia as she inhaled. She buried her face into her grandma’s neck and sobbed.
“There, there, shush now. You’re all right, my love.” Grandma soothed her as she stroked her back.
“I can’t believe it,” Amelia exclaimed as she stood back to look at her again. She was solid and real. Grandma smiled.
“Now, don’t you worry about me. Look at my home! I am perfectly fine.”
“Can I stay with you, Grandma?”
“Oh no, humbug, you aren’t supposed to be here yet,” Grandma said as she wagged a finger at her.
“But I died? Isn’t this where I stay now?” Amelia was confused, and as her confusion grew, her vision became cloudy and the beautiful scenery around her began to fade away.
“You’ll be all right, Humbug, you’ll be all right” were the last words Amelia heard Grandma say before she faded away entirely.
Amelia blinked open her eyes; they were heavy and swollen, like they could pop out of their sockets if she sneezed.
“Ah, and you’re back, brilliant.” There was that familiar voice again. Amelia blinked; she could see the white ceiling lights, then floated her eyes down to take in her surroundings. She was in a sterile hospital room with a lot of machines beeping around her. A doctor with dark wavy hair and big brown eyes was sitting by her bed and gave her a charming smile. A glimmer of memory flashed before her eyes, back in the Forest of Dean when they were doing the treetop adventure.
“Dr Handsome!” Amelia cried out, then blushed profusely as she realised what she said. The man grinned broadly and wrote something down on a clipboard in his hands.
“I like that name,” he said in amusement as he tapped his ID badge. “I’m going to get my name badge corrected with it.” Amelia coughed and swallowed. Her throat was still raw, and her chest throbbed.
“Do you remember me?” Amelia asked hoarsely. The man chuckled to himself and wrote something else down on his clipboard.
“Of course, I remember you, Amelia. The question is, do you remember me?” he asked kindly. Amelia nodded.
“You’re Dr Brown, and you supervised me when I was doing the treetop adventure course in the Forest of Dean,” she said quickly, proud that she had remembered his name. Dr Brown gave her a polite smile and inclined his head as he wrote down some more notes.
“Amelia, I’m just going to bring in some more doctors to see you. They will be very happy to see you awake. Is that all right?” he asked evenly. Amelia nodded. She made no attempt to sit up, her body was heavy, like it was made of lead, pushing her further down into the hard bed. A commotion outside the room made Amelia’s attention focus on the door and in walked a group of ten or more doctors, all wearing white lab coats holding their pens and clipboards.
“Hello,” Amelia said faintly as she watched them file into the room like a group of fans. Each man and woman smiled at her like she was the lead singer of their favourite girl band.
“It’s wonderful to see you awake,” a young brunette doctor said as she pushed her spectacles further up the bridge of her nose. A skinny redheaded male doctor with large freckles across his cheeks grinned at her as he waved. Each of the doctors took turns introducing themselves.
“Dr Jones, here, saved your life today,” Dr Brown said with a beaming smile. A short woman with cropped grey hair smiled back and raised a hand as if to say, “It was nothing.”
“Thank you,” Amelia whispered. She tried to swallow but it was uncomfortably dry to do so.
“If you don’t mind, we would really like to ask you some questions, just to get an idea of where you are on your recovery,” Dr Brown said carefully as he eyed the rest of the doctors and gave them a nod.
“Okay,” Amelia choked out as she tried to clear her voice. “Could I have something to drink?”
A nurse appeared in the doorway and walked over to the bed with a paper cup in her hands. She carefully lifted the cup to her lips; Amelia sighed as the water drenched her lips and she gulped the water greedily.
“Thank you.” The nurse had a round face and blonde wavy hair; her smile exuberated warmth and calmness.
“That’s all right, lovey,” she replied. Her voice was familiar, but Amelia couldn’t work out where she’d seen her before.
“Am I back in England, then?” Amelia asked the room. The doctors exchanged looks
and scribbled down their notes, whispers flew around the room.
“Yes, you’re in England,” Dr Brown said kindly. “Are you ready for some questions?” Amelia nodded; the movement brought her attention to a dull throbbing ache in her head.
“What is the last thing you remember?”
“Um, I couldn’t see and had a bad headache, and then I went to heaven I think and saw my grandma,” Amelia mumbled as she tried to process her thoughts. The doctors wrote enthusiastically onto their clipboards.
“Right, okay. Anything before that?” Amelia bit her lip and she blinked furiously and tried to retrace her steps. Water. She recalled the sound of rushing water. Falling. She remembered falling into the water. Then she remembered….
“TOBY!” she shouted as she suddenly bolted upright. A searing pain shot through her head and a number of machines started beeping. The doctors fanned out and went into action as Amelia moaned and held her head with both hands and lay down again.
“Easy, you’ve had brain surgery less than forty-eight hours ago. No sudden movements, okay?” Dr Jones said softly as the doctors reset the monitors and the beeping noises stopped. Dr Jones repositioned some plasters on Amelia’s head; presumably, they were sensors.
“Toby, is he here? Did you find him too?” Amelia looked wildly around the room at the doctors who exchanged looks again.
“What do you remember about Toby?” Dr Brown asked evenly.
“You know him, you met him. He was with me in the Forest of Dean,” Amelia said quickly. Her eyes scanned his tanned face, looking for a look of realisation, but all she saw was puzzlement.
“I’m sorry. I don’t remember that,” Dr Brown said slowly. He glanced over at Dr Jones.
“Do you remember how you got here?” he asked nervously. The doctors leaned in quietly, apparently extremely interested in Amelia’s response.
“We were in California. We jumped off a waterfall… and I thought we were going to drown. I guess someone pulled us out? They did find both of us, right? They haven’t left Toby in there, have they?” Her heart was starting to pace, and a warning alarm set off on one of the monitors. A tall, skinny male doctor walked forward and looked at a ream of paper that had just printed off a bunch of squiggly lines.
“I don’t like these readings, John,” he warned. Dr Brown cleared his throat.
“Okay, here’s what we’re going to do. We’re going to give you a mild sedative, just to calm you down and let you rest for a little longer. Then, we can answer any questions you have and work on a plan to getting you back on your feet, okay?”
“Can you please, just tell me Toby is okay?” Amelia whined.
Dr Brown looked uneasy and shrugged at Dr Jones, who gave him a dark look and shook her head.
“Please, I have to know, please tell me,” Amelia begged as the nurse came forward and administered medication into her IV. A strange warmth spread over her being and she became light-headed.
“Amelia. You’re at Cheltenham hospital and you were in a car accident, thirty-six days ago.” The words floated over Amelia’s head as her eyes grew heavy and she just blinked slowly in response and nodded.
“Oh, okay,” she said with a sigh and then fell asleep.
Chapter Fifteen
Breaking Chains
Amelia woke up in a disorientated haze. Someone was holding her hand and squeezed it when she opened her eyes.
“Hey, stranger.”
Amelia smiled and her eyelids were heavy as she blinked slowly.
“Toby?” she said hopefully. She turned her head and studied the person sitting at her bedside. It was a woman; she had a round face and there was something familiar about her, but she couldn’t work out what it was.
“It’s me, Suzie,” she said softly and stroked her hand. Amelia opened her eyes wide in surprise.
“Suzie! I haven’t seen you for years!”
“Yes, I know. Josie is seven this year. We haven’t spoken since I was pregnant with her.” Suzie’s kind voice held a hint of resentment.
“Why are you here?”
“I’m still listed as your emergency contact. You’re lucky I have always kept the same mobile number,” she said sternly, then softened her tone. “I’m so sorry you’ve been in an accident.”
“I went to California, though, so it wasn’t all bad.” Amelia replied. Suzie’s smile faded as she stared at Amelia with a look of pity.
“Darling, the doctors did explain to you what happened, didn’t they?” she said in a slightly louder voice like perhaps Amelia’s hearing was affected as badly as her memory.
“I don’t really know. I’m pretty drugged.” She rubbed her neck and swallowed. The raw sensation in her neck had numbed, but she wasn’t sure if that was a sign of healing or the medication being pumped into her IV.
“You were in a car accident.” The volume of Suzie’s voice went up a notch.
“Yeah, on the beach… everything went crazy after that.” Amelia slurred her words as she tried to reply, but her old roommate sat up straighter, as though Amelia’s situation was irritating her.
“No, darling, not on the beach. You were driving to Birmingham. Do you remember that?”
Amelia bit her lip and frowned in thought. “Yes. I was going to Birmingham to take my grandma’s painting to an auctioneer,” she said slowly, starting to piece the puzzle together.
“Very good,” she said, happier with Amelia’s apparent progress. “Then what happened?”
“Then I met Toby in the Cotswolds.” She smiled fondly at hearing his name aloud. Whatever medicine was flowing through her veins kept her feeling light and woozy.
Suzie placed a hand to her head and rubbed her temple with frustration. “No, no, darling. You got into a car accident and hit a tree… you never went to the Cotswolds,” she explained firmly. Amelia slowly turned her head to look at Suzie. Her plump cheeks were flushed and she had her bleached blonde hair swept up into a messy bun.
“You’ll like Toby a lot,” she continued, ignoring Suzie’s last sentence. “He’s a surfer, and he’s cheeky… but serious too. He’s a bit young for me, but I think he’s a an old soul because it just feels like we’re the same age. Like he’s my soul mate.” Amelia frowned at the sight of Suzie staring at her like she was a crazed lunatic.
“Don’t look at me like that. You’ll get it when you meet him,” she said affronted. Tears suddenly welled in Suzie’s eyes and she looked at her sympathetically.
“Oh, you poor sweetheart.” She rested a hand against Amelia’s cheek. Her hand was warm, and Amelia felt like a child being mothered.
“Where is Toby? Is he here? We jumped off the waterfall together. He was with me, so surely they found him, didn’t they?” Amelia tried to sit up, but her head throbbed in retaliation at the movement.
“Amelia, you need to listen very carefully. I know this is really hard to understand, but you need to hear this,” Suzie said firmly, her voice impossibly loud. “Toby isn’t real. There was no waterfall. You were in a car accident and you’ve been in a coma ever since.” Dr Brown entered the room at the sound of her raised voice.
“Ah, is our patient awake again?” he asked in a well-mannered way. Suzie put on a delightful smile and nodded to the doctor.
“Would you mind if I speak to Amelia alone?” Dr Brown raised his brows pointedly at Suzie.
“Of course, doctor. Amelia, honey, I’ve got to go home to the kids. I’ll call you okay?” She stood up and sidled passed Dr Brown, then left the room. Amelia waved a hand as Suzie disappeared. Dr Brown sat down next Amelia and looked at her with a frank smile.
“How are you feeling?” he asked. Amelia shrugged.
“My head only hurts when I move now, and I can see okay,” she whispered. Dr Brown nodded.
“You had a severe brain bleed. The surgery was quite invasive, so you’ll be feeling sore for a little while. It’s best to try and lay still and allow your body to heal,” he advised. Amelia wanted to nod, but it hurt so she opted
to hold up her thumb instead.
“Amelia, when you first arrived at the hospital, the paramedics retrieved you from a car that had collided with a tree. Do you remember the accident at all?”
Amelia frowned. “No.”
“You received a traumatic head injury which led to further complications. It was necessary to administer a sedative that put you into a very deep sleep, an induced coma, if you like, to allow the brain time to heal. We started to reduce the sedative a few days ago, but as you woke up, you suffered another bleed to the brain. Then you were taken into surgery again. The latest CT scans look good, but we need to keep you in for a while to monitor and see how you respond to treatment. Hopefully the swelling will decrease, and we will have you back on your feet in no time.” Dr Brown smiled with warmth before he continued, “Dr Saunders will be in to visit you tomorrow. She’s the lead psychologist; she can help you come to terms with what has happened,” he explained.
Amelia raised an eyebrow. “Why?” she asked bluntly.
Dr Brown shifted in his seat and pulled on the collar of his neck. “Just to provide you with some coping strategies from the trauma,” he said calmly. Amelia shrugged and blinked slowly; her breathing stayed low and even and a heavy blanket of sleepiness covered her whole body.
“I’m so tired,” she whispered while closing her eyes.
“That’s normal. I’ll let you rest. If you need anything, just press this button here and someone will be in here to help you….” Dr Brown’s voice trailed off as Amelia fell into another dreamless sleep.
Chapter Sixteen
A Crying Heart
“Where is Toby?” Amelia moaned as she came to. A nurse stood beside her bed and was washing her arms.
“It’s all right, lovely, everything is going to be just fine. The water is nice and warm today.”