* * *
I sat at the kitchen table drinking coffee, listening to Nathan tell me everything Anwar had said. When he confirmed my father had been marked for immortality, a cold numbness fell upon me.
I felt nothing. Seriously. It was like I became detached or something.
Nathan continued with Anwar refusing to tell him why my father had chosen to stay mortal. He had his reasons for not telling us, but promised he would in person. He did tell Nathan my father knew about the ring, but had never mentioned to him if he knew where it was.
“Does he think my father was murdered?”
“Yes, he does.” Nathan took a sip of his coffee, watching me closely.
“Does he know which dark spirit did it?” In my mind I made a vow. I would seek out the dark spirit and make it suffer for taking my father away from us.
“No,” he said, staring into his mug as if he was reading tea leaves.
I went into the living room and sat on the couch, thinking about my father not taking immortality, wondering why he turned his back on the world and us, and it kicked me back into despair.
Nathan sat beside me and rubbed my shoulder. “What’s wrong?”
“It doesn’t make sense,” I said. “If my father had chosen immortality, he would still be with us.”
“No, he wouldn’t,” Nathan firmly said. “He would’ve had to leave you, like I had to with my family.”
“But he could have found a way to make it work.” I thought about all the possible options to consider. My options. Would I be able to find a way to keep the ones I loved in my life, even after five or ten years? I knew I would have to leave Astoria, but there had to be a way to keep my mom, Carrie, and Tree in my life.
“I thought the same way once, but found out the hard way the only option was to walk away.”
“That’s right.” I looked at him, remembering what he had told me before. “You told your father. What happened?”
Nathan rested his forearms on his knees and blew out a lungful of air. He tilted his head and squinted at me.
“It was a selfish thing for me to do, to put such a burden on my father, but at the time I didn’t see it that way. Anwar was against me telling him, but I did it anyway.”
“Why did you tell your father instead of one of your brothers?”
“Because I knew he’d take my secret to his grave. But what I didn’t realize at the time was what it would do to him.”
“What do you mean?”
“My father had to suffer through watching his family grieve, knowing all along I was alive and well. He watched helplessly as my mother went into a deep depression where she didn’t get up out of bed for weeks at a time.
“Can you imagine the turmoil he went through, knowing all he had to do to mend her heart was to tell her the truth about me? But his loyalty to me kept him from doing so.”
I held my cheeks in my hands and frowned. “I don’t think I can do that, Nathan.”
“What?”
“Make my mom believe I’m dead. I know she’s never around, but she lost my father, and I don’t know what it would do to her if she thought I was dead too.” I felt sick thinking about it.
“You really have no choice, Paige,” he said, his expression pained. “Because if you don’t take immortality, you will be dead. So either way, she’s going to suffer.”
“I think we should finish searching the basement.” I rose, promising myself I’d find a way to spare my mom any pain.
Nathan nodded, understanding this conversation was over. We headed to the basement, in hope of finding something of value to us.
Beyond the Eyes: YA Paranormal Romance Page 31