Rather than pausing to clean out and light the cooker she turned to the little electric hob Gabe kept for when the range wasn’t in use in summer and set the kettle on one of its rings, then, while waiting for it to boil, raked out the ash from the range. Before she could do more than screw up a few pieces of newspaper and criss-cross the sticks ready to relight it, Ben thundered downstairs. ‘Going to get some advice from the NHS helpline. I’ll use the landline because it’s more reliable.’
He snatched up the phone that perched on Gabe’s kitchen windowsill between a pot of chives and a letter rack. Alexia set a match to the paper and listened as, once he’d got through, he explained that his uncle’s heavy cold had developed into a high temperature and racking cough. ‘He’s experiencing terrible sweats, isn’t eating but is sleeping all the time and can barely get out of bed. Yes, I’ll hold.’ After a short pause he explained it all again, presumably to someone new, ending with, ‘Thank you, I’ll wait to hear,’ and replacing the phone with a clatter. A frown line cut between his eyebrows. ‘A GP’s going to ring back. They want me to get as much fluid down him as possible. I gave him water while I was up there but I need to try him with more.’
Alexia put out a hand to stay him as he made as if to dash off again. ‘What about a hot drink? And food?’ She winced as the sound of another jagged bout of coughing floated down the stairs.
Ben raked his fingers through his hair. ‘We can try him with a cup of tea but he says he has no appetite.’
Gabe normally loved his food. Alexia was alarmed as she found a clean mug and washed out the teapot. Suspicious of the open milk in the fridge, she took the lid off a new bottle. ‘And he’s been lying there all alone not wanting to ask for help?’
‘It sounds as if he’s barely woken up since I saw him yesterday.’ Ben took the tea Alexia made upstairs, reappearing in the kitchen only when the landline phone began to ring again.
Meanwhile, Alexia had heated another kettle so she could deal with the washing-up abandoned in the sink. She tried not to clatter while Ben talked to a GP, reciting the facts for a third time. He was frowning once again as he ended the call.
‘The GP wants another report in four to six hours, particularly if Gabe’s no better.’ Ben rubbed his chin anxiously. He hadn’t shaved that morning, judging by the whisper of rasping stubble. ‘I’m going to stay here with him but I need to grab a few things from home first.’
‘I can stay till you get back.’
‘I was hoping you’d say that.’ Ben slipped an arm around her shoulders and pressed a kiss on her temple.
Everything paused for an instant.
Then he was in motion once more. ‘I’ll be as quick as I can.’ Snatching up the keys to his truck, he shot out of the door.
‘Right. OK,’ Alexia said to Luke, who had finished his meal and was washing his paw. ‘That was new. Ben and I don’t kiss.’ Or not apart from on That Night, when they’d kissed a lot. Over a wide area.
She got the range going and binned a piece of mottled cheese and the bottle of suspect milk from Gabe’s fridge. Creeping upstairs she peeped into Gabe’s room, but he was an unmoving lump beneath the quilt, breathing noisily. At least he wasn’t coughing while he slept. She crept back downstairs, answered Luke’s imperious meow to be let out to patrol his domain and then settled herself at the kitchen table and turned to checking her phone.
Elton had responded to her last email:
OK, cool, hope this is some consolation.
In reply Alexia pulled her ugliest face while waving two fingers violently at the phone before stabbing delete. The rest of her mail was an unexceptional mix of newsletters and notifications.
When she’d read or deleted them she sighed and, feeling stupidly apprehensive considering the length of their friendship, texted Jodie.
Alexia: Saw your mum last night and she mentioned you’d appreciate a chat with me. If so, I should be available later today.
A reply pinged right back.
Jodie: I thought you’d come last night.
Alexia quashed a desire to point out that Jodie had no right to such expectations after the way she’d sneaked off. Alexia had taken her in when her marriage crashed against the rocks and expected better treatment than she’d received. She typed again.
Alexia: I was busy.
While she waited to see if Jodie would respond she browsed Facebook and saw that Jodie had checked in from work a couple of times in the last few days and also from the swimming pool in Bettsbrough yesterday afternoon. Evidently she hadn’t, as Alexia had half-expected, turned herself into a room hermit. The phone sounded an alert.
Jodie: Mum said you were just hanging out at The Three Fishes.
Alexia: That’s right.
Alexia refused to address what she knew to be the subtext, which was that hanging out at The Three Fishes could easily have been abandoned in favour of rushing off to see what Jodie needed. But Jodie’s recent behaviour had opened Alexia’s eyes as well as bruised her feelings.
Jodie was needy, that was no secret, and her warmth and humour vanished when she was under pressure. Alexia had always showed understanding; knowing the ‘real Jodie’ would be along again soon. But maybe, by accepting Jodie’s behaviour, Alexia had been telegraphing that being high maintenance was OK and nobody else’s feelings mattered. If so, Alexia really needed to learn from that mistake.
A long text silence followed. Upstairs Gabe exploded with a fresh paroxysm of coughing before settling again. Alexia checked both Facebook and Instagram before her phone tinged to signal the arrival of another text.
Jodie: I’m sorry I haven’t been a very good friend to you recently. Can you come over now?
Thawing slightly, Alexia tapped ‘reply’.
Alexia: Not right now. I’m hoping to be free later, though. Shall I text you when I am?
Jodie: Yes, please. I’d appreciate it.
Maybe the warm Jodie was ready to reappear?
As Ben still hadn’t returned, Alexia checked Freecycle and was delighted to be able to secure two kitchen chairs and a small pine table to be picked up from the other side of Bettsbrough. Two legs were trying to drop off one of the chairs and the back was unstable on the other, reported the donor. Not a problem, she typed in a message, and arranged to be in touch regarding when to pick them up once she saw the rest of her day more clearly, wanting to be on hand to support Gabe if necessary.
Ben, when he swept back into the house an hour later, seemed to have everything firmly under his control though. He’d brought an overnight bag and a fresh supply of cough syrup and Lemsip from Booze & News.
He also had Barney’s tub in his arms, with Barney screeching happily to himself inside.
‘All OK?’ He was panting slightly with the exertion of carrying so much.
‘Gabe has been coughing a bit but he seemed to be sleeping when I checked.’ Alexia relieved him of the tub and peeked in as she lowered it carefully to the floor. ‘Hello, Barney Owl.’
Barney elongated himself to peer at her, tilting his head and opening his beak. ‘HEHHHHHHH!’ His call was noticeably louder and creakier than the last time Alexia had seen him.
She glanced at Ben, who was opening his overnight bag. ‘Barney’s grown!’
He took out a silver laptop and deposited it on the kitchen table. ‘He’s only feeding twice a day now, but bigger portions. He’s spending a bit of time in his aviary too.’
Alexia put her hand into the tub to let Barney nibble at her fingers. ‘Outdoors already?’
‘Parent barn owls kick their offspring out into the world at fourteen weeks, which is about now, so he’s actually taking advantage of my better nature.’ He gave one of his half-smiles as he fired up his computer. ‘He’ll get out of his tub in here and be a nuisance, hopping up onto things, particularly as he’s getting smellier and poopier, but I don’t want to leave him in his aviary at Woodward while I’m here.’ He seated himself before his computer and trained his gaze on whatever was h
appening on the screen. ‘Anyway,’ he went on vaguely, as if most of his mind were already on a planned task, ‘my grateful thanks. I hope we haven’t taken up too much of your Sunday.’
‘Oh. OK.’ With the definite feeling of being dismissed, Alexia shrugged on her coat and found her bag, taking an uncertain step towards the door, unsettled by the Ben now before her. Maybe this was how he processed worry? Holding himself aloof and withdrawing? Brooding had been his persona when they’d first met, after all.
But he seemed to process any anxiety about Gabe perfectly well earlier … Until the kiss, brief and light as it had been.
Another step towards the door. ‘I’m glad I could help. Let me know if you need anything. To do with Gabe, I mean,’ she clarified hastily, her cheeks heating. Not that Ben noticed as he seemed to be looking everywhere but at her. It was the kiss. He was wishing it undone. She paused with her hand on the doorknob, feeling self-conscious all at once. ‘Would you mind letting me know what happens when you speak to the doctor again?’
‘Of course.’ He kept his eyes trained on his screen. He raised his voice so it would follow her as she stepped outside. ‘Thanks again.’
Alexia closed the door behind her, feeling awkward, almost as if she’d made a huge gaffe that had made Ben wish himself free of her presence. Which would have made a lot more sense if she’d been the one doing the kissing.
Chapter Fourteen
Alexia felt cross and out of sorts as the wind blew her home. Not only had she never known Gabe suffer more than a sniffle before, but until now it would have been Alexia and Jodie making sure he had what he needed. Now Ben was using his status as blood-relative to dismiss Alexia, and Jodie wasn’t showing signs of caring about anybody but herself. Everyone in Alexia’s life right now was unsettling her.
And that included Ben. He’d been the only one-night stand of her life. Now, instead of moving out of the village as planned and leaving her uncharacteristically wayward behaviour behind her she was obliged to stay for the time being. It meant facing what she’d done every time she and Ben met, which, because of his relationship to Gabe and The Angel, was often. The spectre of That Night floated between them and it was always going to if the stupid man reacted to a stupid excuse for a kiss – a peck, not even a proper kiss – with such a painfully obvious withdrawal.
Marching up her garden path and into the house, she resolved to make herself too busy to brood on the negatives of her life. ‘Keep busy, keep out of trouble,’ Grandpop used to say. OK, then.
With the rest of the day now at her disposal, she messaged the person on Freecycle and arranged to drive over to pick up the table and chairs after lunch. If she took the seats out of the multi-purpose vehicle her day job made practical, she was pretty sure she could squash the table and chairs in.
Then, after waggling her phone between her fingers while she pondered, she sent another text to Jodie:
Alexia: I have to go to Bettsbrough for 2.30 p.m. to pick up some stuff. Want to come with?
Jodie: I’m not feeling 100%, can you come here after instead?
With a sigh, Alexia replied that she would. She was lonely for her friend. They hadn’t gone a two-week stretch without speaking since they’d met in the village primary school.
After a quick sandwich, overdue as she’d never got around to breakfast, she drove off to make her collection, the blinking blue dot on her phone app guiding her.
The table and two chairs stowed in her vehicle with a bit of pushing and shoving, she drove back to Middledip with them rattling in the back. She could call at Iona’s house to see Jodie on her way into the village as they lived at the top end of Port Road. Their house stood with its back to the estate still known as the ‘new village’ though it had been up for at least fifteen years.
Jodie answered the door when Alexia rang the bell. She seemed hesitant and unsure. ‘Hey. Thanks for coming.’
‘What’s up?’ Alexia stepped into the familiar cluttered home that she’d visited a thousand times. A pile of coats swamped the newel post at the foot of the stairs, a curtain had become unhooked at one end and a pile of boxes and bags awaited some purpose unknown. Iona Jones always had stray scarves wafting about and cardigans slipping off a shoulder and her house reflected something of her colourful disarray.
‘Mum’s not in. Let’s go up to my room.’ Jodie began up the stairs.
Alexia followed, skirting the laundry basket left at the top of the stairs as if to remind someone that the washing needed attending to. As the basket was overflowing, ‘someone’ obviously hadn’t taken the hint.
Jodie had returned to the room she’d once shared with her big sister, Jaynie. Her bed was unmade and Jaynie’s old one was covered in discarded clothes. Black plastic sacks had been shoved haphazardly around the walls, presumably still packed from when Jodie hurriedly vacated Alexia’s spare room. They’d unpacked a similar-looking set of bags together when Jodie had moved out of her matrimonial home and in with Alexia.
She wondered whether they would ever have been unpacked if Jodie had been left to her own devices.
Now, Jodie flung herself onto her bed, propping her back against the old-fashioned quilted headboard and pulling the duvet over her feet. Alexia hesitated before settling herself cross-legged on the foot of the same bed. It was that, clear a place on Jaynie’s bed or sit on the floor.
Jodie took a deep breath. ‘I’m sorry I left like I did,’ she said in a rush, her gaze on her hands. ‘It was horrible of me and I don’t blame you for not coming last night.’
Alexia propped her elbows on her knees. ‘I was having a drink with someone and so I told your mum I’d get in touch.’
Jodie peeped at her. ‘Mum thought it was Ben the wizard you were hanging out with.’ Alexia didn’t confirm or deny it so Jodie left that tack in favour of offering her the ghost of a hopeful smile. ‘Are we still friends?’
Alexia fidgeted. Sitting cross-legged was already making her back ache. ‘I hope so, Jodes. Until two weeks ago I would have said of course we were friends and nothing would ever alter that. But …’
Jodie scooted down the bed, her eyes huge with unshed tears. ‘I’m sorry. But I’m in trouble and I don’t know what to do.’
Heart softening, Alexia said gently, ‘I understand that you’re in trouble. It was terrible what Shane did, stealing the money and stripping out The Angel. We’ve all ended up in trouble over the missing money and the state of The Angel. It’s had a disastrous effect on my career and Gabe—’
‘No,’ Jodie interrupted. Her face had paled so much that her skin looked almost transparent. ‘“Trouble” in the way our grans would have meant it. In trouble. Pregnant.’
The room seemed to stand still. Alexia stared aghast at Jodie’s woebegone expression, at the tears now sliding down her face. It hadn’t occurred to her that Jodie could have piled another problem on her teetering stack of problems. ‘Oh.’
Jodie nodded. ‘“Oh”. Oh, dear. Oh, shit. Oh, what am I going to do?’
Alexia swallowed. ‘Did Shane know?’
Miserably, Jodie nodded. ‘I told him about a week before he did his moonlight flit. He was obviously shocked but then he seemed to come round to the idea and suggested we make it our little secret for a few weeks so we could sort of hug it to ourselves. There was me, drawing castles in the air, dreaming of us being a happy family, and all the time he was plotting to bring his horrible scam to a successful conclusion.’
Alexia’s mind flew back to the evening of the barbecue, when Jodie had been so tipsy. ‘You drank a lot of alcohol for a pregnant mum.’
A sob tugged at the corners of Jodie’s mouth. ‘I honestly only had one beer, Alexia! He must have spiked it. Then he gave me all that limoncello on top.’ She took a big gulp of air. ‘He risked his own child so I’d pass out while he cleared out the accounts. He left us both with nothing, that bastard! I think it was me telling him about the baby made him hurry the execution of his plans. I didn’t tell you at the time
…’ She grabbed a handful of tissues from beside the bed and stopped to blow her nose, gulping back tears. ‘He left a note. I didn’t find it straight away because it was stuck inside my laptop. It said, “You shouldn’t have tried to trap me, girl. Anyone can avoid pregnancy. You think I don’t know that?” But we used condoms, every time! He took responsibility for contraception himself. What did he think I did? Kept a used condom to inseminate myself?’
Then she put her head down in her hands and began to howl. Alexia gathered her up, feeling ready to explode at the extent of Shane’s ruthlessness. ‘Shh, shh,’ she whispered, rocking Jodie like a child. ‘Shh, shh.’
It took a lot of hugging and a couple of cups of tea before Jodie calmed enough to speak in anything but sobs and half sentences. She sipped dolefully from a big blue mug, pulling her duvet around her and shuddering with the aftershocks of her storm of tears. ‘I left your place because I’d started throwing up in the mornings and I didn’t want you to know I was pregnant. I didn’t know if I was going to keep the baby.’
‘I wouldn’t try and talk you into or out of an abortion!’ Alexia protested, hurt.
‘I know. It just seemed easier to make the decision if nobody knew and I didn’t really think about being fair to you. I didn’t know if I could survive the grief and humiliation Shane left me with. I thought I was going off my rocker.’ She managed a watery approximation of a smile. ‘Or more off my rocker than I always am.’
She sniffed. Her eyes were red and swollen. ‘Mum’s been great. She says she’ll help look after the baby so I can work at least part-time. She hopes it’s a daughter so we’ll be three generations of women living together, loving and supporting each other.’ She half-laughed but fresh tears leaked from her eyes at the same time. ‘You know what an old hippy my mum is. She’ll want me to call the baby Love or Treasure or something.’
For once, Alexia didn’t blurt out, ‘And you know I’ll help. I’m always here for you. We’ve been friends forever.’ It wasn’t because she was bearing a grudge. In fact, she could see exactly how Jodie had made the decision to leave Alexia’s house without telling her to her face.
Home for the Holidays Page 16