Dog Day Wedding

by Rich Amooi

  What kind of an engaged woman acted like that? It sure seemed like she was having doubts about things and she felt guilty about it.

  She didn’t want to hurt Jacks. Nobody deserved to go through what Giovanni did.

  Why couldn’t relationships be easier?

  Yup. She was having doubts alright. Or was it cold feet?

  It was cold feet, for sure. Everybody went through this before a wedding. She tried to justify her emotions and find a logical reason for her behavior.

  One thing was for sure, she needed to get her act together. She had a bachelorette party tonight and she would be getting married soon. And her girlfriends would know in an instant if she was preoccupied or distracted by something. Which she definitely was.

  *****

  Giovanni walked to the studio door, peeking outside. Natalie passed through the gate in the back and stopped to smell the roses in Federico’s backyard. She took a few more steps and paused again to inspect one of the lemon trees.

  Natalie was a beautiful woman. There was a down-to-earth quality she possessed that was very innocent and endearing. Odd, considering she was a cop. He had no doubts though that she could turn on the tough anytime she wanted. Like a light switch.

  Giovanni's phone rang and startled him. He tried to jump back inside his studio before Natalie spotted him. Not even close.

  Son of a bearded dragon!

  He wouldn’t blame her if she thought he was some of kind of weirdo.

  He checked the caller ID.

  It was Stevie and he answered. “Hey.”

  “Hey,” said Stevie. “I was walking by that new French restaurant in downtown last night and—”

  “I didn’t know there was a new French restaurant. What’s it called?”

  “Hell, I don’t know. Depardieu. Le Pew. Voulez Vous. Something like that, but that’s not my point. Can I finish?”

  Giovanni sat on the stool and sighed. “By all means.”

  “Patricia was there.”

  Giovanni stood back up. “Oh.” He paced back and forth in his studio. “Alone?”

  Stevie laughed. “Seriously? What a question. She’s not going to be alone at some foofoo place like that. She was with a guy. A guy wearing a thousand dollar suit and a Rolex. And they were sipping on Cristal. Whoever he was, he’s got bank.”

  Giovanni wasn’t surprised and was quite relieved.

  Patricia never was the right woman for him.

  He always tried to focus on the positives in every person, but that doesn’t mean you should completely overlook the negatives. Sometimes things in a relationship were unbalanced and you had to take notice. Still, he did wonder why she didn’t show up at the wedding. Why she never said a thing.

  “Are you there, Giovanni?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Your ex is already out there dating and you’ve got nothing to say?”

  He chuckled. “What do you want me to say? It’s really not that big of a surprise to me, now that I think about it. We were two completely different people. I wasn’t enough for her. I would have never been able to satisfy a woman like that.”

  “Sexually speaking?”

  “No. Not sexually speaking.”

  “So you’re okay with this?”

  “I’m okay, Stevie. My ego took a big hit when she didn’t show up. I was embarrassed, but I’m starting to see things clearly now.”

  “Wow. Maybe you’re getting your balls back, but you still need our support. We’re coming over.”

  “That’s not necessary.”

  Too late. Stevie already hung up.

  What Giovanni had told Stevie was the truth. He didn’t feel great.

  But he also didn’t feel shattered or heartbroken.

  Giovanni knew he was a good person and it wouldn’t be long before he met someone who was meant for him.

  He peeked outside of the studio again for Natalie but she was gone. Funny how when he was thinking of meeting someone else he thought of her. He needed to stop doing that. The woman was getting married and it was wrong.

  The last thing he wanted was to develop feelings for a woman who would never be his.

  Chapter Seven

  Giovanni locked the front door of his home and stood on the front porch. He took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. Considering he got dumped recently he wasn’t feeling bad at all. He was even alert enough to notice the beautiful hummingbird hovering over his aloe vera plant in the front yard.

  He felt good.

  Should he be worried about that?

  Giovanni had planned on taking three weeks off for the wedding and honeymoon, but now that the wedding was a bust he wasn’t going to sit around and watch the time go by. He would spend some of that time working on his guitars, of course. He even got back to work on his latest creation for James.

  But that would have to be put on hold until tomorrow. He was being kidnapped by the two stooges waiting for him on the sidewalk.

  Danny and Stevie were still convinced that Giovanni needed comfort and support. The three were now on their way to grab an after-dinner coffee and dessert. Why not? It would be good to not stray too far away from the normal routine and the boys always enjoyed hanging out in the evenings whenever they had a chance.

  After Giovanni greeted them both with brotherly hugs Stevie unlocked the doors to his classic ’58 Cadillac convertible and pointed next door. “Hey, there’s Federico.”

  Danny whispered, “Someone should tell him that plaid hasn’t been popular since the fifties.”

  Giovanni wagged his finger at Danny. “Leave him alone. He’s a good guy.”

  Federico waved. “Giovanni! Buona sera!”

  “Hi Federico.”

  “What are you gentlemen up to on this beautiful evening?”

  Giovanni pointed to Stevie and Danny. “They’re in the mood for Dolce Spazio. Would you like to join us?”

  Federico smiled. “That sounds wonderful, but I’m leaving for a book club meeting.” He held up his book. “We will be discussing The Notebook. And after that we are going to watch the movie!”

  Danny laughed. “I didn’t know you read that girly stuff, Federico. My wife reads that.”

  “It’s not just for women, I’m telling you. It’s one of the most beautiful stories of my generation. Of your generation. It’s about—”

  “Yadda yadda yadda,” said Stevie. “These books give women unrealistic expectations of what love really is about. Next thing you know she’s asking you to cuddle and remember her birthday and kiss her on a daily basis and sleep in the wet spot. I don’t have time for that nonsense. I’m a busy guy!” He held up a high-five for Giovanni who didn’t respond.

  “You’re an idiot too,” said Giovanni. “Don’t listen to him, Federico.”

  “Well, he is entitled to his opinion,” said Federico. “It’s like I tell my bambina, it takes all kinds to make the world go around.”

  Giovanni looked over toward Federico’s house. “How is Natalie?”

  “Good—I just talked with her. They are celebrating with the bachelorette party at the Los Gatos Brewing Company this evening.”

  LGBC is located just down the street from Dolce Spazio—within walking distance—but Giovanni wasn’t going to even entertain the thought of going over there.

  Giovanni nodded. “You think he’s the right one for Natalie?”

  He shrugged. “That is for her to decide.”

  Federico didn’t sound very positive on the topic. Giovanni was almost certain they both felt the same way. Jacks wasn’t worthy of her.

  Federico perked up. “You can stop by and say hi to her, you know?”

  Crap.

  That just opened the door for Stevie.

  Giovanni needed to squash that idea immediately. “No, no. Bachelorette parties are for women and we don’t want to interrupt.”

  Stevie stepped closer and looked serious for a moment. “I think we should. How many girls are we talking about?”

  “Here we go…
” said Giovanni.

  “I’m not sure,” said Federico. “I think Natalie mentioned ten to twelve.”

  Stevie turned back toward the car. “We’ve hit the jackpot. Let’s go.”

  Giovanni hooked Stevie’s arm and yanked him back. “You are not going anywhere.”

  “What? What are you talking about? Federico said it was okay, didn’t you?”

  Federico nodded and chuckled. “Of course. As long as you don’t act like animals I don’t see what could be wrong with just saying hello.”

  “Exactly,” said Stevie. “Just saying hello, that’s all. And if I happen to get a few phone numbers in the process, even better!” He leaned over to Danny to high-five him and Danny left him hanging as well.

  “No,” said Giovanni.

  These events were sacred for women and the last thing they wanted was a bunch of guys trying to join in or hit on them. Besides, Giovanni felt a strong connection when he spoke with Natalie. She was spunky and fun and a beautiful woman. He was attracted to her, but he would be a masochist to go in there and pretend he had a chance with her.

  Hell, he would love a chance with her. To spend more time together. Get to know her even more. But it wasn’t going to happen. She was getting married and he needed to leave it alone.

  Giovanni smiled at Federico. “Enjoy this evening at your book club.”

  “Thank you! And you have a wonderful evening too!”

  Ten minutes later the boys were seated at a table in Dolce Spazio with their coffees, cookies, cakes, and gelato. Giovanni took a sip of his latte and moaned. “This was a good idea.”

  “Of course it was,” said Danny. “It’s good to get out. You can’t hide in that guitar-making-man-cave of yours forever.”

  “Hey, I don’t hide in there. I love making those guitars. That’s my passion and there’s nothing wrong with that. You work too. I just happen to work from home.”

  “I’m just saying…it’s good to get out, that’s all.”

  “Fine. But if anyone even mentions the word ‘intervention’ I’m leaving.”

  Stevie winked at an attractive woman in line. She smiled and whispered something to her girlfriend.

  “What are you doing?” asked Giovanni.

  Stevie kept eye contact with the woman. “I’m just sending out a little signal.”

  “What type of signal is that? ‘Look at me, I’m an idiot!’ That kind?”

  “It’s called non-verbal flirting. I read about it in a book I just picked up at a garage sale: Getting the Love You Want Without Having to Pay Through The Nose. It’s also a self-help guide for cocaine addicts. I only paid twenty-five cents for the book.”

  “You paid twenty-five cents too much.”

  Giovanni never understood the concept of using a book to meet someone. He preferred to just let it happen naturally. Whenever it happened. Why try to force things? Hell, he would know better than anyone that you shouldn’t force things. All that pressure from his mother to produce grandchildren got him into a relationship that wasn’t even healthy, let alone satisfying. No, Patricia wasn’t a terrible woman. But they had different goals and needs. And that was a recipe for disaster. And not just any disaster. Take a hurricane and throw in an earthquake and a few hundred tornadoes. That type of disaster.

  Giovanni took another sip. “You think you can apply a few things that you read in a book to meet the girl of your dreams?”

  “Pretty much, yeah,” said Stevie.

  “You wish it was that easy.”

  Danny perked up in his chair. “Hey, you know who’s got it easy? Porcupines.”

  Giovanni sighed. “I’m not sure I want to hear this.”

  Danny ignored him. “When a male porcupine wants to get freaky with a female porcupine he just pisses on her.”

  “Right.”

  “It’s true. He just whips out his porcupine penis and takes a serious wiz all over Miss Porcupine U.S.A. Then if the female is interested they have porcupine sex right there. Doesn’t matter where they are. Downtown. Yosemite. Levi’s Stadium.”

  “She must really stink,” said Stevie.

  Giovanni ground his teeth. “Love stinks.”

  “Love Stinks!” said Danny. “That was performed by the J. Geils Band. 1979.”

  “Stick a sock in it, Ryan Seacrest,” said Stevie.

  Giovanni laughed.

  He was right earlier. It was good to try to get back to the normal things. Like hanging out with two guys who typically drove him nuts. He’d been friends with Danny and Stevie since elementary school and he loved them as if they were his brothers.

  Two hours later and with plenty of coffee and sweets under their belts, Giovanni and the boys left Dolce Spazio.

  He knew it would only be a matter of seconds before Stevie suggested they go crash the bachelorette party.

  Wasn’t going to happen.

  *****

  As they approached the Los Gatos Brewing Company Stevie pointed to the front door. “Just a few minutes, Giovanni. We can just go in, say hello to the ladies, and be out of there in no time.”

  So predictable.

  Giovanni kept walking. “No.”

  He forced himself to look straight ahead as he passed by the place. He knew if he saw Natalie in one the windows he would be tempted.

  “Hey!” said Stevie, grabbing Giovanni's arm and stopping him in his tracks. “Look at that group of women! And the bride with that tiara on her head.” Stevie squeezed Giovanni's arm a few times. “That’s Federico’s granddaughter? Damn, she’s smokin’ hot!”

  Giovanni couldn’t control his body. It turned on its own toward the window where Natalie was. She was looking as beautiful as ever, surrounded by a large group of women. They were all laughing and talking and drinking.

  She looked like an angel.

  Natalie turned suddenly and met eyes with Giovanni through the window. He felt his pulse pounding in his neck. Although he didn’t hear her, he could see she screamed. Then she pointed directly at Giovanni. All of the other women turned and looked outside to the sidewalk where the guys were standing.

  “A buffet of beautiful women,” said Stevie. “Let’s eat.”

  “No,” said Giovanni.

  Natalie waved Giovanni inside. His heart sped up even more—now he could feel the pounding in his temples.

  “Dude!” said Stevie. “We just got the green light!”

  Not good.

  Giovanni didn’t even really remember how it happened, but seconds later he was inside the place with the guys, surrounded by women. Natalie was going on and on about his custom guitars with her matron of honor, Rebecca.

  “And he makes the guitars with his hands!” she said, appearing to be drunk.

  “How many?” asked one of the bridesmaids, also appearing a little tipsy.

  Giovanni held up his hands. “I have two. Just like everyone else.”

  Natalie laughed as though he’d told the funniest joke in the world. “Oh my God! Isn’t he so funny?” She held one of Giovanni's hands up for display. “And did I tell you he makes them with his hands?”

  Rebecca pried Giovanni's hand out of Natalie’s and cleared her throat. “Yes, that was the second time you mentioned that.”

  Natalie snagged his hand back and rubbed her cheek with it. “They’re really soft.”

  “I’ve got soft hands too,” said Stevie. “Anyone want to touch them?”

  The women ignored Stevie, obviously more interested in the show Natalie was putting on.

  She smelled Giovanni's hand. “What kind of lotion do you use? I could smell this all day long. Yummy!”

  Giovanni didn’t know how to respond. “Well…”

  Natalie showed Giovanni's hand to the other women, practically ripping his arm out of his socket. “And you think these hands are nice? Ha! You should see the guy without clothes! H-O-T baby, baby, baby!”

  Yeah. Definitely drunk.

  Stevie stared at Giovanni, hands on hips. “Is there something you’d like
to tell us?”

  Giovanni shrugged. “Not really.”

  Rebecca stepped forward and took Natalie’s hand again. “Okay! Looks like this is going to be an early night—someone needs to be cut off. Show of hands, who’s drunk?”

  Ten hands went up.

  Rebecca sighed. “Oh boy. We’re going to have to call a few taxis.”

  “We can take Natalie home if you want,” said Giovanni. “She lives next door to me.”

  “Yes!” said Natalie. “Giovanni can take me. Take me, baby!” She laughed uncontrollably and then snorted.

  Rebecca placed her hand over Natalie’s mouth. “That’s probably not a good idea.”

  Giovanni shrugged. “We haven’t had anything to drink.”

  Natalie tried to speak but the words were garbled since Rebecca’s hand was still covering her mouth. Rebecca removed her hand. “How can we help you?”

  “I was trying to say that….uh…what was I trying to say? Oh, that’s right! Giovanni is a man.”

  Rebecca nodded. “You’re very observant, but that’s not going to get you home.”

  “Yes it is! He is a man and I am a woman. Two consenting adults who live next to each other. Isn’t that convenient? That’s why it’s so easy for me to see him walking around in his sexy underwear! It makes perfect sense and sensibility that he drives me home.”

  “Sense and sensibility? Is that right?”

  “Yes! He’s not like anything gross like a serial killer. Ooh, a bowl of cereal sounds good. Or yummy waffles at Southern Kitchen!”

  “You are going home.”

  “There’s no place like home. Ha! Wait, what was I talking about earlier? Oh, oh! Have you seen Giovanni’s hands?”

  Rebecca laughed. “Oh my God. Yes, I’ve seen them. Okay, Mr. Giovanni, she made absolutely no sense whatsoever yet she convinced me that you are the man for the job. You’re in charge of getting the bride home safe and sound.”

  “No problem.”

  At least he hoped it wouldn’t be a problem. You never know what can happen when alcohol is involved.

  Chapter Eight

  Natalie had fallen asleep immediately on Giovanni’s shoulder after she got in the car. He’d ordered Stevie and Danny to be quiet on the drive home and it was the most peace he’d had with those two since he met them in elementary school. But now it was time to wake the princess up and get her inside the house.