Thirty-One
Cai
I let out a slow breath and tapped my brother’s name. There was no going back now. Even if he didn’t answer, he’d see that I called.
“Cai? Is everything okay?” Jax’s voice was more worried than I’d ever heard him. Even when he called about Grandfather, his voice had been flat, controlled.
“I’m fine,” I said, sitting down in my favorite chair. It was an old thing I’d found at a garage sale, but it was far more comfortable than the most expensive piece of furniture I’d had growing up.
“Not that I’m not glad to hear from you,” he said, “but you must admit, it’s not exactly a normal thing. I mean, the last time you called, you were in Texas dealing with some epidemic.”
I took the route he offered. “I’m back in Atlanta now, with my whole team. The treatment I came up with knocked the infection out, and we were able to locate the source and contain it. I don’t know if I thanked you for helping to get my mind off things for a while but thank you.”
“Are you sure you’re okay?” he asked.
“I saw Slade.”
Silence.
“How is he?” Jax’s voice was strangely soft when he finally asked. “I’ve been wanting to call him and Blake to tell them about Syll, but I didn’t know how they’d take it. I don’t want any of you to think I’m reaching out because of Grandfather’s ultimatum and what it means for my position at the company.”
“Aren’t you?” I was honestly curious.
“Are you?” he countered. “You’ve called me twice since you left Boston.”
“You know I’m not interested in being a part of Hunter Enterprises. And I don’t need Grandfather’s money.” I picked at a loose thread. “He should have just let you have it all. You’re the one who followed in his footsteps.”
I let my words sit as I waited for a response. I hadn’t flat-out told him that I’d called because I wanted to address what was between us, but I knew him well enough to know he now understood that I was trying.
“I always admired you, Cai,” he said finally. “You excelled at everything. School. Sports. You could’ve stepped up into Hunter Enterprises at any time and left me in the dust. But you knew what you wanted to do, and you didn’t let anyone stop you.”
I sat in stunned silence. He admired me?
“Grandfather was proud of you,” he continued. “I know he wasn’t the sort of man who talked about his feelings, but he bragged about you, all of you guys actually. Every event we hosted or attended, he’d find a way to bring up his successful grandsons. He loved telling people how you worked at the CDC, how you’d gotten there all on your own. Never asked him for help or to make a call.”
“I never knew,” I said softly. “I always thought he held it against me that I hadn’t wanted to join you in the family business. That I’d done what Dad had done and went off to do my own thing.”
“The night he…that night, he was with Ms. K, and I hadn’t even realized he wasn’t in the house. The two of us had lived under the same roof for years, and we rarely spoke outside of work. We never talked about anything that was really important.”
Was Jax really saying that his conversations with Grandfather about work weren’t important? It didn’t seem possible. Hunter Enterprises meant so much to him.
Before the accident, he’d talked about being a professional golfer or a fireman – the usual dreams children had – but not long after the accident, he’d told our grandparents that he wanted to work at Hunter Enterprises. From that moment, he hadn’t faltered.
“Jax, did you really want to run the company?”
He gave a small laugh. “I think you’re the first person to ask me that. From the moment I walked into the dining room and announced to Grandfather and Grandma Olive that I wanted to work at Hunter Enterprises, everyone took it as how things would be. No one thought to ask if I’d been in the right frame of mind, or even old enough to understand what I was saying. And no one ever asked if I’d changed my mind.”
“You’d sounded so sure,” I said. “And you made Grandfather so happy.”
“He did what he thought was best at the time,” Jax said. “But in the end, even he knew that he could have done better.”
“I was never able to measure up,” I admitted. “You were doing everything Grandfather had wanted from Dad, doing odd jobs at the company by the time you were twelve. Everyone loved you.”
“Cai,” Jax began.
I didn’t let him continue. I needed to get this out now, or I’d never say it. “I pushed myself because I thought if I could somehow show that I was as good as you, Grandfather would see me too.”
“Shit, Cai, I didn’t know.”
“No one did,” I said. “When I first heard those stipulations, all I could think was that it was just Grandfather trying to control us after all, force us into being just like you.”
Jax laughed. “My first thought was confusion. I was so full of myself that I couldn’t imagine what Grandfather had meant. We’d just grown apart like siblings do.”
I’d made the call, and I was going to take the initiative. “I’m not doing this because of Grandfather’s will, but I’d like to see if we can…” I searched for the words.
“Be brothers again?”
I swallowed around a sudden lump in my throat. “Yes. I’d like that.”
After a moment, Jax cleared his throat. “How’s your colleague?”
I appreciated the change of subject – that was enough talking about our emotions for today – and followed. “Addison is great.”
“Addison?”
I ignored the question. “How’s Syll?”
“She’s great. You should come back soon so you can meet her before the wedding.”
“You’re rushing into things, aren’t you?” I asked. “You’ve only known her for a month. An engagement is one thing. Getting married that fast is something else.”
“We’re thinking next year,” Jax said. “But what are the chances you’ll be back before then?”
He had a point. Before Grandfather’s death, it’d been three years since I’d visited. As I talked to my brother, however, I couldn’t imagine not seeing him for another three years.
For the first time since I’d moved to Atlanta, Boston was too far away.
“I’ll plan something soon,” I said.
“Maybe you can bring your colleague, Addison.”
I could hear the smirk in his voice. “It’s not like that.”
“Oh, really? What’s it like then?”
“She’s my intern, and we spend a lot of time together. We’re friends.” All of that was true. Just not the whole truth.
“Do you remember that day at the cemetery when I told you guys about Syll and the club? How I didn’t want to talk about her?”
I made a noise of affirmation, not liking the direction this conversation was taking.
“Syll turned my entire world upside-down,” Jax said without a trace of embarrassment or sarcasm. “She made me see that I could tell myself how fulfilling my work was, and even mean it, but without family, it would never make me happy. She made me see myself in a way no one else ever had.”
“I’m happy for you.” The words fell flat, but not because I didn’t think Jax deserved to be happy. Rather, I kept thinking about how I’d opened up to Addison more than I had anyone else in my life.
“I’m not going to pry,” Jax said. “But I will say this: if she makes you want to be a better man, and she gives you what you need to accomplish that, don’t let her go.”
We made a little more small talk before ending the call, both of us promising that we would talk again soon. And it wasn’t just something to say. We both meant it.
I stayed in the chair after we’d said goodbye, thinking about everything we’d said, and everything we had left to say. I’d had an idea in the back of my mind ever since I’d talked to Jax while I was in Texas. An idea that was now starting to feel more like something
I needed to do.
If Jax and I were really going to mend things between us, and do it right, we couldn’t do it over the phone or in weekend visits. I’d left Jax before, forcing him to carry a burden I hadn’t realized he’d had. He couldn’t come to me, but I could go to him.
The CDC had a branch in Boston, and Dr. Fenster had connections there.
If this had happened right after the funeral, I would’ve applied for a transfer without a second thought, because all I’d had here was work.
But now, I had Addison, and I wasn’t sure I could leave her.
Thirty-Two
Addison
“This is fabulous.” Codie let out a moan that made me a little uncomfortable. “Can I marry you?”
I laughed as I leaned back in my seat. I patted my stomach, feeling delightfully full. “I think Dorly might have something to say about that.”
“I don’t know,” Dorly countered. She scooped up the last of the peach cobbler I’d made. “For access to food like this, I’d be willing to share.”
“Where did you learn to cook like this?” Codie asked. Her tongue stud clinked against her spoon as she licked the utensil clean. “Your mom?”
“No, Mom was always too busy to do more than heat up frozen dinners or bring something home.” I scraped my spoon along the bottom of my bowl. “She worked full-time, and there were a lot of us kids. We all pitched in, but none of the rest of them could cook. When I was eleven or twelve, I decided to try my hand at cooking. I talked to this old woman who lived across the hall. Mrs. Dressen. She offered to teach me if I’d walk her dog, Puddles.”
“I’d like to send Mrs. Dressen a thank you card,” Codie said.
“Does your secret beau know you can cook like this?” Dorly asked with a sly grin. “And don’t pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about, because you two were top of the gossip chain at the club.”
“Dammit.”
“What’s going on with you?” Codie asked. “I mean, you went from single virgin to dirty dancing with a tall hottie and then heading to a room with him.”
I gulped down the rest of my water. I told them some of what happened in Pecan Grove, but I’d stuck with the work part of things. How I’d gotten exposed. Pansy getting fired. But I hadn’t told them about what I discovered about Cai, or the arrangement we’d come to. Neither one of them knew that Cai was a gorgeous thirty-one-year-old, so when I’d mentioned that my supervisor had stayed with me. For all they knew, he was a balding, middle-aged man.
“The guy at the club was the same guy I slept with there that first time.” I started with the easy part.
“Seriously?” Codie’s eyes went wide. “How did you two meet up again? I mean, the likelihood of you two both showing up at the club at the same time, recognizing each other–”
I held up a hand. “That’s not how it worked.”
Dorly gave me a searching look. “I have a feeling this is a story.”
I nodded. “It is.”
“You need a beer to tell it?” she asked.
“That would be nice,” I said. Alcohol wasn’t called liquid courage for nothing.
She came back with three bottles and settled back onto the couch. She put an arm around Codie and then faced me expectantly.
“When I was in quarantine in Texas, I was talking to Dr. Hunter. He made a comment about the head of the hospital – a woman – flirting with me. I made a joke about my gaydar improving since I started spending time with you. I mentioned you both by name, and that’s when Cai realized that he knew the two of you.”
Both Codie and Dorly were staring at me.
“I figured it out first,” I continued, “but as soon as I said the safe word he’d given me, he knew who I was.”
“Wait a minute.” Dorly leaned forward, eyes flashing. “Your boss fucked you?”
“Dorly!” Codie smacked her girlfriend’s arm.
“Neither one of us knew who the other was,” I admitted. “He told me to call him ‘Sir,’ and I gave him my middle name, ‘May.’ And, if you remember, you guys put bronze glitter in my hair so he wouldn’t have even had that clue, and we both wore masks.”
“Still.” Dorly scowled. “It’s not okay.”
Heat flooded my face, and my usually dormant temper flared. “Then I guess you’re really going to be pissed at me when I tell you that we’ve been fucking since Pecan Grove.”
“Addison,” Codie leaned forward and put her hand on my arm, “we’re just worried about you. Your boss…that’s not okay.”
“He didn’t force me or coerce me!” I snapped. “Cai’s not like that.”
“He’s still your supervisor,” Dorly said, her voice harsh. “You’re an intern. Plus, you’ve been going on about how amazing Dr. Hunter is since you got here. Of course, you wouldn’t see it if he was applying pressure.”
“We discussed it like adults,” I said, pushing myself up from my seat. I had to make them see that this wasn’t a case of someone in power pressuring me to have sex with them. “Everything that happened between us was one hundred percent consensual. Cai respects me and my opinions. We’re friends and co-workers first. Sex is separate.”
“And what happens when one of you wants more?” Dorly asked. “Do you honestly think you’ll be able to go back to working together if…when things end badly?”
“We agreed that when the time came, we would talk about it, and then we would end the sexual part of our relationship.”
Dorly rolled her eyes. “I thought you were smarter than that. No couple breaks up and then works together like nothing ever happened.”
“We aren’t a couple,” I said.
She raised an eyebrow. “So, you’re both fucking other people?”
“No,” I said, facing her, my arms crossed over my chest. “We’re being monogamous by choice. If we ever want to get involved with other people, then we talk about it. We’re both logical, intelligent people. Emotions beyond friendship and respect don’t play a role in what we’re doing.”
Dorly shook her head. “You’re making a huge mistake.”
Codie came over to me and put her hand on my shoulder. “Addison, don’t you think it’s possible that he could be manipulating you? Taking advantage of your hero worship?”
“He’s not like that. Come on, Codie, you’re the one who thought he’d be perfect for my first time because he was a good guy.”
“For an anonymous encounter, yes, but if I would’ve known he was your boss, I never would’ve suggested it.”
I shook my head. “Cai is an honorable, respectful man who would never take advantage of anyone for anything. The fact that he’s my supervisor doesn’t change his character.”
“Shit,” Codie breathed, her eyes wide.
“What now?”
“You’re in love with him.”
“What?” I shook my head. “You’re crazy. We’re friends who work together and have sex. That’s all there is between us.”
“Addison, you need to take a good, hard look at yourself, because if you don’t acknowledge how you really feel, you’re going to get in way too deep, and you’ll be devastated when things end.” Codie wore a sympathetic expression that was somehow worse than her anger. “I know how much you value your work, and I’d hate to see you do something that would hurt everything you’ve worked toward.”
“I’m not in love with him,” I said firmly. “Hell, I don’t even know if I believe in love.”
“It doesn’t matter if you believe in it or not,” she said. “It’s true, and the sooner you accept it, the better.”
She was wrong. She had to be. I wouldn’t have fallen in love with Cai when I knew it would only end with heartbreak. Neither one of us wanted a romantic entanglement. We’d agreed.
Work. Friends. Sex.
Nothing romantic. Nothing emotionally intimate. Freedom to leave at any time without any hurt feelings.
My text tone went off, and I turned away from Codie and Dorly to pick up my phone. It w
as a text from Cai.
I’d like you to go to dinner with me tonight. There are a few things I’d like for us to talk about.
He wanted to talk.
Was he ending things already, thinking that taking me out to dinner would soften the blow? Or maybe he thought that if we were in public, I’d be less likely to make a scene. How had he met someone else? Maybe he hadn’t met someone. Maybe he’d just gotten tired of me. Or maybe he’d realized that sex with me wasn’t worth the risk for us at work.
And that was when it hit me.
I cared.
I didn’t want him to break things off with me for any reason. I didn’t care about work or what anyone else thought, for that matter.
Shit.
Codie was right.
I was in love with Cai.
Thirty-Three
Cai
This wasn’t like me at all. I planned things out, carefully weighed the risks and rewards. I didn’t rush headlong into things. Except that character trait of mine didn’t seem to apply to Addison. I’d barely thought through a single step of our relationship, from the moment she’d run into me at work to me asking her about having an exclusive sexual relationship. All that had mattered to me was that I didn’t lose her.
Talking with Jax had made two things perfectly clear to me. One, it was time to go back to Boston. Maybe not forever, but for a while. Long enough to get to know my brother again. The second thing I’d discovered was that I couldn’t continue with Addison the way things were going now. We’d never been only about sex, and I needed to make sure she saw that, because I was going to do something rash.
I was going to ask her to come to Boston with me.
I tugged on my suit jacket and wondered if I should have worn a tie. I didn’t own many of them and generally reserved wearing them for occasions like presentations or fundraisers. The jacket I wore only on formal occasions when it was too chilly for just a dress shirt. Tonight, felt like one of those nights clothes-wise, but I’d never been this nervous before any other social event.
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