by Brooks, Tori
“Sorry. It’s just . . . it’s moving too fast, Lin. Listen, baby, you don’t do this when I’m at college. But when I’m on tour, you go kind of nuts.”
“You have girls throwing themselves at you. Last time you had a paternity suit.”
“Which was proven to be outright fraud.”
“And I’m turning eighteen soon.”
There it was, the real reason, as Dev suspected.
“That’s a milestone birthday,” he agreed. “But could you put on a shirt?”
“If you don’t like the tassels, you really won’t like it if I stand up.”
“Never mind. You’ll be eighteen soon. We’ll talk about that. But can we return to the tradition of you leading me by baby steps? Please? Before I have a heart attack?”
Lindsay smiled. “Close your eyes.”
Dev closed his eyes. He waited and heard Lindsay moving. Finally, she called to him again. “Open them.”
Opening his eyes, Lindsay wore one of his dress shirts: left open in the front to expose her cleavage but it covered the disturbing red tassels. He’d take it as a win.
“Thank you.”
○ ○ ○
The second single Dev recorded with Erika hit the top ten while they were on tour. Kenny was elated. Dev agreed it couldn’t have happened at a better time, but for a completely different reason. Yes, maybe it was free advertising, but it also meant miles between him and Lindsay when the subject came up. It also meant he couldn’t possibly be expected to film a video to go with it. How wrong he was.
Because A Thousand Words played the accompaniment for the singles, of course they knew all the music. By Kenny’s invitation, Erika Atlas dropped in on tour and Dev found himself practicing before the show in Albuquerque to play bass and sing more than just back up. A Thousand Words fans were going to get a treat – if Dev could get coordinated enough to pull this off. Kenny was going to get a water balloon to the head whether he did or not.
As it turned out, Dev did get coordinated enough to pull it off, just not in Albuquerque. They waited until the next stop when he had just a little more practice to slip the extra song into the lineup. And film it. Dev was used to being filmed now. Clips from every show were on the band’s website, and this tour started off being even more popular than when they opened for Rushing On. The crew even filmed Erika and the band during two of their practice sessions, and now they were filming them singing this song, live, to make a video. For some reason that made Dev unreasonably stressed.
“Dev, chill,” Jess said as the opening act’s last song started. “You’re jittery enough I could probably – I can’t think of a metaphor.” He shook his head. “Don’t make me think of something clever, just calm down.”
“Kenny didn’t even ask me, Jess. The single hit the top ten, he and Alec decided a video needed to be made, but we’re on tour. He’s so used to me just going along with everything, he didn’t even ask.”
Jess grinned. “Trust me, he’s not used to you ‘just going along with everything,’” Jess said, putting air-quotes around the argument he quoted from Dev. “You’re a pain in the ass. Trust me. You get to go do your thing on the other side of the country, Bryan gets to play house with Bren, I get to sit in the apartment and listen to him whine about – let me think – largely you not doing what he’d prefer you did.
“But don’t worry about it,” Jess continued. “If he wasn’t whining and worrying about you, he’d be whining and worrying about me. And I’m closer so he’d feel compelled to take action. So I appreciate you being a pain in the ass. Thanks.”
“You’re welcome.” Dev grinned. “Still doesn’t help that I have to sing. On stage.”
“You always sing on stage. You just have to sing more words.”
“With Erika.” Dev looked around to make sure she wasn’t within earshot. “And do it while not missing any notes.”
“Yeah, I don’t know why it surprises me you can multitask like that. Should suck the jitters right out of you.”
Dev glared at him.
“All right. Don’t worry about Erika, she’s harmless.”
Dev raised his eyebrows.
“Let me amend that: Erika’s harmless on stage. There are several thousand witnesses out there, plus cameras. You’re safe. You’re so safe it’s painful. She’s not joining us for the rest of the tour, just a couple stops to get enough footage to piece together, okay? Easy. Get through one song two more times.
“One song, then I’ll be there to save you. Throw a water balloon at me. Telegraph your intent and I’ll jump out of the way so you can hit Kenny. Oops. Hell, I’ll let you do that every stop for the rest of the tour.”
Dev smiled, then laughed and nodded in agreement. “Yeah. Kenny deserves it.”
“Yes, he does. And while technically he’s off limits, accidents happen.”
“It’s unfortunate,” Dev agreed.
“Come on, sweetie,” Erika said from behind him. Dev’s heart skipped a beat and he looked at Jess in panic.
Jess grinned and patted Dev’s shoulder. “Got Kenny’s water balloons?”
Dev smiled, his fear melting away. He nodded and turned to follow Erika, Kenny, and Bryan down the hall. One song, two shows, he could do this.
Kenny was pissed that Jess seemed to consistently be able to predict Dev’s throws and step aside. Dev agreed it was strange. And Jess’s skill persisted into the paint-filled balloons Dev introduced when Erika stayed for a third show. Oddly, Jess didn’t feel the need to retaliate against Dev or start their usual war because Dev didn’t technically do anything to him.
Erika finally left, leaving Dev and Jess to slide into their normal battle routine. The end of the tour was approaching and Dev was anxious to get back to MIT and his friends there. He finished one online class and was just finishing the second in the green room before an interview when Kenny threw yet another bug in the works.
“Dev?” Kenny said, approaching him cautiously Dev noticed. He refused to meet his eyes and instead remained focused on his laptop.
“Yeah?”
“Listen, we need to talk about Erika.”
“No, we don’t. She’s gone. Problem solved.” Dev shook his head. The program was done. He made sure his name was on the file and opened an email to his professor.
“She’s not a problem. She’s been a great help in expanding our fan base. You need to remember that. We’re reaching –”
“More fans in a wider demographic than we were before yada, yada, yada,” Dev finished for him. He attached the file to the email and sent it. Now he was officially done with his second online class. It was tempting to think he could have handled three, but Dev wasn’t sure. It would be nice to have this short break before school, even if he was working.
“Yeah. Anyway, I was thinking about the pictures in that tabloid of you and Erika.”
Dev groaned. Those pictures made Lindsay a wreck. They should have been innocent: just the two of them singing a song. Except the background was blurred because it was a tight focus, thereby also excluding his guitar. The angle of the pictures were unfortunate too, making it look like they were either about to kiss or coming up for air. Of course he explained it to Lindsay as soon as Alec brought them to his attention. Plus he sent flowers. A lot of flowers.
“I do not want to talk about those pictures anymore,” Dev snapped. “We made a statement, it’s over.”
“No one’s really listening to that statement, you know.” Kenny sat down beside him. “I talked it over with Erika, then Alec, and she talked it over with Mark, her manager, now we just need you to think about this.”
A sense of foreboding crept over Dev. He closed his laptop and turned to look at his friend and colleague. More colleague than friend right now he suspected. “What?”
“Let them take pictures. Let the tabloids go crazy with rumors of you and Erika dating. We’ve denied. If they don’t want to listen, that’s on them. We’ll give them opportunities to see you together. Grab co
ffee – well, you don’t drink coffee, but you can have something while you buy her a coffee – and let them take a few pictures, then leave. No comment. Just stop denying it. It’s free publicity. It keeps her and you – us in the headlines.”
“Lindsay would kill me.”
“Explain it to her. She said she’d be supportive, right? It’s time for her to step up and be supportive. Lindsay’s on your arm a few weeks out of the year. This isn’t going to cut into your time with her. Rumors are starting to circulate that you’re gay, this will solve that.”
“I’m not sure I care if people think I’m gay.” Dev shook his head. Between being mislabeled and Lindsay’s reaction to this little plan, he’d take being mislabeled.
“You want guys at school hitting on you? It’s my understanding you intentionally sit with the men in your classes to get away from the women. They’re going to misread that. And it won’t dissuade the women anyway. They’ll just want to be the one who changes your mind. You’ll have both sides hitting on you.”
“Es ist meine persönliche Hölle,” Dev said under his breath. He rested his elbow on the table beside him and let his head fall into his hand.
“I don’t know what you said, but I can guess,” Kenny said. “Your German’s coming along. For better or worse.”
“Greta only talks to me in German now, it helps. And I’ve been looking at investing in a small R&D company in Bonn.”
“That’s great.” Kenny nodded. He paused for a moment. “Where’s Bonn?”
Dev looked up at him. “Near Cologne.”
“Oh. Okay.” Kenny hesitated again.
“Across the country from Berlin,” Dev added. “By Belgium.”
“Oh good, you can buy chocolate for Lindsay.”
“You uncovered my master plan.” Dev nodded. “And it’ll take a lot of chocolate to smooth this over with her.”
“Then start buying chocolate. You know what? I’ll buy the chocolate, just get on board with this.”
Dev sighed. Kenny wasn’t going to let it go. And it wouldn’t be forever. They couldn’t keep it going forever. Not to mention, when things did get more serious with Lindsay, he’d just end it.
“Just talk to her about it,” Kenny said and walked off to talk to Jess.
○ ○ ○
Lindsay’s phone rang, waking her up and making her instantly grumpy. That it was playing one of Dev’s songs didn’t help. Dev, of all people, knew she hated mornings. Besides, she only set that song as his ringtone because people expected her to, so hearing it now didn’t put her in a good mood.
“Hello?” she answered, trying to sound pleasant and awake.
“I’m sorry I woke you, baby,” Dev began. “It’s just going to be a long day and Kenny came up with a new idea and he’s pushing me for an answer.”
“I’m awake,” Lindsay said. She shook her head, then realized he couldn’t see her and stopped.
Dev laughed. “Were you five minutes ago? I doubt it. I apologize.”
“You already did. This goes on Kenny’s tab, not yours. What’s up?” Lindsay pushed herself into a sitting position and tried to pay attention.
“Remember how you said you just wanted to be supportive? I need you to listen and actually think about it before you sit back and just be supportive. This affects you too.”
“What?”
“Kenny has an idea. I originally said no, and I don’t think you’re going to go for it, but he wanted me to run it by you –”
Lindsay felt her temperature rise. “So Kenny doesn’t think you can make your own decisions?” She thought of the purple vibrator named ‘Puggy’ in her nightstand drawer. Lindsay was confident Dev could not only make but stand by his decisions.
“It’s not that,” Dev disagreed.
“Then what? I’m your keeper? He hates me but somehow thinks you can’t make a move without me? How does that add up?”
“Lin, it’s not that –”
“Dev, it’s not up to me. Whatever this is, it’s your decision,” Lindsay explained. And Kenny should be pushing for it to be that way, not encouraging Dev to check with her on everything. What was going on here?
“It affects you. Us. Our relationship,” Dev said.
“So he’s getting involved in our relationship? Whatever. Fine. Me aside, what would you have said?” Lindsay asked.
Dev hesitated. “Originally I said no. Then Kenny made a good point. I don’t want to do it, and if you don’t want me to I won’t –”
“But you will if I don’t veto it,” Lindsay finished for him.
“I suppose that’s fair to say,” Dev agreed. He sounded stressed. Damn Kenny!
“Then do it,” Lindsay said. If Dev would have done it, then he should do it.
“Not until you listen to what his crazy idea is,” he said, an edge of whining to his voice now. She sighed.
“Dev, if it’s from Kenny, it’s about the band. That’s none of my business and –”
“He wants me to date Erika Atlas,” Dev said, interrupting her.
Lindsay paused. She couldn’t have heard that right. Well – Kenny – maybe she did hear it right. Except Kenny would know better than to really step between her and Dev. Wouldn’t he? She took a deep breath. “What?” Lindsay asked.
“I’m sorry to just throw that at you, it’s just that you wouldn’t listen. And not date her, not really. Those pictures . . . no one believed the statement that there’s nothing going on. Kenny wants, and Erika agreed, and the managers are on board with it – they want to stop denying it, that’s all. Let the tabloids and celebrity spy mags have their way. Gossip to their hearts’ content. To help them along, I’ll be seen in public every so often with Erika. Nothing like with you – no kissing or anything, just meeting for lunch or something, I guess.”
“You guess?”
“Kenny said coffee, but I don’t drink coffee unless it’s half sugar and cream and I’m not about to let anyone see that. It seems stupid to meet for a Diet Coke. I mean, at least make a meal of it. Then they can take a picture and it’s free publicity for her and us.”
“So you’re dating me, and her.” Lindsay wanted to kill him for the groupie paternity suit, this . . . she had no idea what she wanted to do to him for this. But Kenny was right, she already came out vocally, repeatedly and publicly, that she’d be the supportive girlfriend. It wasn’t like anyone was really taking Dev’s picture with her.
If she said no, Kenny could accuse her of being insecure and holding him back. Although, personally, Lindsay was leaning toward ‘no’ for simple good taste. She understood Kenny’s attraction to the idea: marketing plus he got to force Dev to see another woman.
That last bit wouldn’t work as planned. Lindsay listened to Dev rant and watched sweat break out on his brow when Erika dropped in on them on tour just to get that video. In a studio, it was easy to wipe away the excess moisture. On a stage, it was easy to explain it as heat from the lights. At a coffee shop or restaurant? Dev couldn’t break out in a sweat around Erika and still sell it that he was dating her. But he wasn’t comfortable enough around her to do anything else.
Lindsay smiled. This wouldn’t last. Besides, whispers were floating out there that Dev was gay and this would put a stop to it. Temporarily. Eventually, someone would catch on that it’s a hoax and cry foul. Then Kenny would want her to step up and publicly be Dev’s girlfriend because she could touch and kiss him.
“Honey, I’m fine. I’m not happy. Why would I be? But it’ll be good for the band and that’s good for you. I won’t stand in your way. Don’t let her interfere with school though when you take her for coffee or lunch or whatever. School’s important,” Lindsay said with a smile.
“Really?” Dev asked. He sounded relieved.
“Sure. I love you for all of you. She only knows a tiny bit of you. Kenny just doesn’t get that. Say hi for me.” Lindsay smiled at the poster of A Thousand Words behind her door. She hoped Kenny had a stroke when this backfired on him.
Starting school again that fall was stressful for Dev. Lindsay turned eighteen in October. Dev would be twenty the following April, not long after their third anniversary. He knew her expectations were changing and didn’t know what to do about it.
Dev considered who he had to turn to with his anxiety over Lindsay turning eighteen. He talked to Bryan already. Finding middle ground was a good answer. Letting her lead him a little outside of his comfort zone was frightening, but then it would be. Baby steps. He didn’t feel like he could go back to Bryan again. Bryan was busy with his own things and Dev didn’t want Brenda mad at him.
Dr. Braithewait was an obvious choice. He had to see her weekly anyway to keep Flynn off his back. Except Dev rarely talked about his relationship with Lindsay. She only came up when Braithewait found her fingerprints in something they were discussing.
Lindsay was going to come up again in conversation, Dev thought. His eyes flickered from his keyboard to the terrarium on his dresser. A juvenile green python sat coiled on a branch, possibly asleep. The snake was so young it still had bits of yellow mottled through its bright green scales. Lindsay gave him the snake last Christmas, an action that left Dev in bemused surprise. The snake couldn’t accompany him back to school at the time, but Tim moved him over the summer so he was here at school with Dev now. Sophie was relieved. She hated it that the snake ate mice and refused to set foot in Jess and Kenny’s apartment over the garage the entire time it was there.
Lindsay hated snakes too but Dev was still having nightmares about them, courtesy of losing his mom’s best friend, Nicholas, two years ago to a rattlesnake bite. Lindsay reasoned Dev used to love snakes, and baby anythings pulled at the heart, so this would help him with his phobia.
Dev didn’t point out that a baby snake failed to pull at her heart. She pet it briefly, but only because he pressured her to. He didn’t want to mention that, as phobias went, being mildly jittery about snakes was something he could live with. Dev just accepted her gift as it was intended: she loved him and wanted to help him.